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Acero’s AEW Dynamite Review 12.14.22
Image Credit: AEW
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We live in a world where Mandy Rose can be fired for showin her tatas to paying customers. A tragedy, really.
It’s Wednesday, you know what that means…
-cue “I’m Comin in Hot” by Andy Mineo –
Match 1: Best of Seven Series
Death Triangle (2) vs The Elite (1)
Nick and Penta to start this time, and they are in no hurry. Penta tries to do his face smoosh, but Nick stops him, sweeps the leg, they trade some rope work, Nick blocks a right, tries to run the ropes, but Penta kicks and sets up for a Fear Factor. Nick escapes, runs up the corner, arm drag to Penta. Tag to Rey. Rey rushes in and eats a drop toe hold. Matt with a leg drop off the tag. He sends Rey into the corner, into a fist form Nick, tag to Nick, springboard rana to Rey. Tag to Pac, both Bucks elbow him down, tag in Kenny, who leaps over Matt with a bulldog to the back of the head. Cover for NO!!! Tag and Nick is in. Whip to Pac by him and Kenny, ac holds on, sends Nick flying, Kenny with a titlt a whirl, dropkick from Nick, Matt sends Penta and Rey off the apron then Matt and Kenny fly over the ropes with crossbodies to Lucha Bros! Nick with a flying spinning ass kicking flip onto Pac outside! He seems to have hurt his ankle.
Nick walks funy on his ankle, tags in his brother. Matt works the arm. Tag to Kenny. He drops an axe and works the left arm. Kenny goes to tag in Nick, but Nick tells kEnny to tag in Matt. Tag to Matt as Cutler cold sprays Nick’s ankle. Matt reaches for a tag, thinks twice, tags in Kenny. Punch to Pac in the corner. Matt and Kenny with a suplex to Pac. Cover for 1..NO!!!! Matt with right hands, Penta kicks him from the apron, Pac holds the waist, Matt holds the ropes, Rey walks the ropes and kicks Matt INTO THE GERMAN!!! Penta runs in with a slingblade to Kenny, sending him outside! Rey flies through the ropes into Kenny! Pac with a cover for 1..2…NO!!! Pac attacks the mid, kicks to Matt, one to the ass, tag to Penta.
WE are back and Matt is hitting a trio of Northern Lights, with the third sending both Pac and Kenny flying. Pac is in to grab the boot, matt kicks him away, tag to Kenny. Kenny to the top rope, he flies off with a crossbody, Axe to the chest, spinning hammer misses, Pac kicks, Firemans from Kenny. He rolls forward, hits the roeps, moonsault, cover for 1…..2….NO!!!! Kenny lifts Pac, in comes Penta to eat a Snapdragon. Kick from Pac. Rey is up. Whip to Kenny. Kenny kicks pac, blocks a right from Rey, Enziguri to Pac, Snapdargon to Rey. One for Pac!!! Rey rolls back in as Kenny celebrates. Kenny hits the ropes for a V-Trigger, but Penta kicks him in the back! Kenny sends Rey flying to the outside on top of Penta. Kenyn hits the ropes, again, Pac trips him up! Pac slingshots himself into a cutter!!! Pac in the corner, he rushes with a HUGE boot to the face of Kenny! He hits the corner again, but Kenny chases him with a back elbow, locsk the hips, German, Pac lands on his fet!!! Kick to Kenny! Suplex, but Kenny reverses wit a Brainbuster!!!! Matt wants a tag, Penta is on the apron, though! He kicks Matt, Piledriver to Matt!!!!! EEEEKKKK> FEAR FACTOR FUCKED HIM UP!!!
Rey springboard back kicks Kenny in the corner, Penta with a kick of his own, He stands Kenny on the top rope, Rey grabs him and hits a reverse Spanish Fly, Penta with a pumphandle slap, Rey with a drop off the top rope. Cover for 1.2….NO!!!! Tag to Pac. Pac on the top rope! He waits. He’s thinkin. Kenny has his arms open. BLACK ARROW! KENNY MOVES!!!!
Nick makes the heroes return, hobbling down the ramp. He hops to the apron. H wants in. Kenny reaches for it. Tag to Nick! Tag to rey! Right to Penta, to Rey, to Penta, to Rey, kick from Pac, hits the ropes, clothesline to Pac! Rey springboards, cutter!!!!
Nick waits, wants a superkick, but Rey catches him. Penta with the hammer!! He strikes Nick on the ankle with the hammer!!! Rey with a knee bar a Pac holds Kenny back! Nick has no choice but to tap!
Winners: Death Triangle
Another sick ass match in the series with some added intrigue as The Way of the Hammer continues to be the harbinger of doom for The Elite. Rey still seems unsure of his part in it, but continues to be complicit.
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: 14:58
After the match, Kenny grabs the mic and says this isn’t for the crowd or us at home. He’s talking to Death Triangle. 3-1 deficit is pretty bad. Every match, they’ve used a hammer. How bout the next one, we make the hammer legal. How bout we make all weapons legal? They are sick of playing by Death Triangle’s rules, so we will make it so that there are not any rules at all. No DQ
Backstage, MJF applauds Ricky Starks’ promo from last week, calling it a star-making performance. The first night MJF appeared on Dynamite, he was already a star. He is batting all hits, no misses. How many hits has Ricky made? No, Richard, MJF made him a star. At 26, MJF is the most talked about person in this business. You’re welcome for the rub, Rick. Then he talks about his upbringing, how he moved to the dumpster fire known as Texas and had to eat out of his car. MJF doesn’t care, none of it matters, all that matters is if he is or isn’t champion. Of course, we at home love Ricky. We relate to Ricky, but instead of fixing it, all we do is complain. We all suck. Then there is MJF. He had it easy? You’re right. He was born rich, hot, funny, witty, pretty, and better than everyone. Wanna talk pressure? MJF is on none. He is already the guy. Everyone hates him, everyone wants to see him fall, no one is rooting for him, so he has no one to let down. But Ricky? Everyone wants him to win the big one. Friends, family, God, can he do it? Or will he let everyone down? That’s pressure, and tonight we’ll find out what happens when pressure is applied to The Pebble. Will he turn into the diamond everyone claims him to be, or will he simply turn into dust.
LISSSEENNNN!!!!!
The Acclaimed are here! Max starts his rap, but from behind, Sonjay Dutt and Jay Lethal and JJ and Singh attack!!! Dutt gets Max into the ring. Max tries to fight back, but Lethal attacks him, and they all take turns stomping Max up until Jeff gets in the ring. Guitar shot to the head of Max!
Jarrett grabs a mic, asks The Acclaimed if they have their attention now, calls him a little bitch and a slapnut.
JAS is backstage with Tony Schiavone. Jericho is upset, wants to state some facts. He calls The Giant Swing barbaric, and it should be banned. He will now take his frustrations out on some Jobber tonight. He is still The Ocho.
Tony asks Garcia about losing his title, but before Garcia can answer, Jericho tells Garcia he never should have lost his title, and he needs some mentoring. So, moving forward, he will shadow his elder…Sammy Guevara.
Match 2: Brian Cage vs Jungle Boy
JB works the ropes but hits a wall as Cage just stuffs him. JB hops up in the air, Cage catches him in a fireman’s, JB counters, shoves Cage to the corner, high kick off the apron. JB to the top rope, flies with a rana, dropkick to Cage. JB kips up. JB rushes the corner, Cage catches him and rushes him into the corner. Cage with a huge chop. Whip to the corner, JB to the apron, Cage misses a right, blocks a hit, high kick to JB. Cage grabs JB and deadlifts him into a superplex. Cage grabs JB sideways, does some curls then tosses JB over the top of his head.
WE are BACK and Cage rushes the corner and eats a boot. He misses a splash, JB with a back elbow. Chop, right hand, chop, elbow, whip, reverse, elbow to the face. Cage still standing. Another hit and Cage folds over, JB tries for a third, fires back with a huge lariat, but Cage eats it, Cage tries for a powerbomb, but JB hits a DDT!! Cage with a surprise slam out of nowhere! Cover! 1..2…NO!!! Cage calls for the Drill Claw, he lifts up, JB floats down and rolls Cage up! 1..2…NO!!! Superkick!!! JB off the ropes. Cage with a spinning lariat!!! To the shoulders! DRI—–NO!!!! CANADIAN DESTROYER TO CAGE!!! Cover for 1…..2……..NO!!!!
JB with the Snare Trap! Cage taps! But the ref is distracted! JB with a go behind, Cage ripcords, tries for a lariat, but Cage hits Prince Nana instead! Rollup for 1…2…..3!!!!
Winner: Jungle Boy
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 8:11
Jungle Boy says at Full Gear, he beat Luchasaurus, and right now he beat Brian Cage. He wants Big Bill. Who? Morrisey?
Well out comes Stokely Hatheway. He says JB’s face pisses him off. Tonight, JB will see two things: the bottom of Big Bill’s boot, and the back of Stokely’s hand.
Here come Lee Moriarity and W. Morrissey, who I assume will be known as Big Bill moving forward. They attack JB towards the steps. Bill sends JB into the ring. Lee waits for JB to stand, hits a running right hand, then Big Bill hits a splash to JB. GOOZLE! Chokeslam!
HERE COMES HOOK!!!!!
Hook enters the ring, and everyone leaves. Hook extends his hand out to JB. Helps him stand.
BCC gets some promo time. Jon Moxley warned us that they were going to make a statement. They got gold, he choked Takeshita out. This is a small statement of what they can and will do. Claudio tells us that in 2023, others think they are good, but they are better. Wheeler Yuta tells us that he fights like he is already dead.
Moxley says he has one last worm to stomp out. Sammy is gutsy. So much that he’ll show up on Friday, and he will stomp Sammy’s face into a bloody mess and leave him for dead. As for Hangman….you know where to find him. Go ahead and bring your little Dark Order buddies too if you want.
Match 3: The House of Black vs The Factory
Nick steps forward before the match. Julia walks up to him. He tosses something at her, so she mists his ass. EVERYBODY FIGHTS!!!
Buddy takes Carter while Brody destroys Solow. Malakai is sitting in the corner, waiting for his boys to handle some shit. Brody sits Solow down then hits a running crossbody onto the chair. Buddy flips Lee onto Nick near the timekeeper’s table.
Malakai finally stands as QT realizes he is the only guy left. He enters the ring and Black hits the kick to the face to finish the match with a 1..2…..3!!!
Winner: The House of Black
Done and done.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: :21
Video package for Hayter v Shida.
Britt Baker is backstage with Renee. Britt says Shida will not beat Jamie. The only thing Shida is famous for is breaking Britt’s nose. She has beaten Shida.
In comes Skye Blue. She couldn’t help but hear Britt talking a mile away. Britt is good at talking, but let’s see if she can wrestle as well as she can run her mouth. She isn’t doing anything Friday, and she is sure Britt ain’t either. Skye challenges her Friday with a really bad promo, and Britt takes the challenge.
Match 4: Chris Jericho vs Some Jobber
Jericho slaps the kid in the face. Another smack. Jobber slaps back, so Jericho beats him into the corner then stomps his heart in. Or out. Jericho with a right hand. I believe that is a LETS GO JOBBER chant. Chops to Jericho. But Jericho kicks him in the face. Jericho whips to the corner, hits a clothesline, another, another, he keeps em coming as the crowd counts. Jericho with a chop! Another! Whip to the ropes, throat thrust. Jericho hits the ropes, dives over, under, chop to the chest. Another. Another. Whip and the jobber with a rana! Springboard twisting spin into a splash and a cover for 1…NO!!! Jericho with aclothesline. He lifts the kid up then hits a Death Valley Driver. CODEBREAKER! Cover for 1…..2…….NO!!!! Crowd is loving this.
WE ARE BACK and the crowd continues to show mad love for Action Andretti. Jericho is smooshing him in the corner. He hits a hard chop. Whip to Actino, kick to Jericho gets a loud cheer. Chop! Chop! Another! POKE OF THE EYE FROM JERICHO!!! Elbow strike! Jericho loves the boos. Jericho whips! Hard right off the roeps! Clothesline to Jericho!!! Duck under, backbreaker, neckbreaker combo!!! Action to the top rope! Split-legged moonsault. Jericho with the knees up!!! JUDA—NO!!! Rollup!! 1…2…NO!!!! Andretti with a springboard kick to Jericho’s head! Clotheline sends Jericho over the top rope!!! He dives to the apron, springboard moonsault off the top rope!!! He rolls Jericho into the ring.
HOLY SHIT!!! Chant! Lol.
Winner: Action Andretti
The crowd made an already awesome moment into a moment of the year, for sure. What an amazing moment for the kid.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 9:40
Jericho is STUNNED. He holds his head in the ring, blood pouring rom his arm, while Action Andretty celebrates with the crowd.
Ricky Starks is backstage. He woke up knowing that he is the man. Tonight he gets his shot. He thinks it’s fitting that this is happening in his backyard. He feels as prepared as the first day he got here. He’s had a long road, and he knows it. He broke his neck, he sat at home and made sure he’d make it here to tell us that he would win the title. He has no other options. He has paid his dues for 11 years and all that comes to a head tonight. Last week was nothing new to him. He does this in his sleep, letting people know who he is since day one. MJF must find validation in the ratings and the draws, no one cares. They care about Starks stomping that ass tonight. He has a lot riding on the line tonight, a lot of people looking up to him, but MJF doesn’t know what that feels like. He’s got them. Make fun all you want, he is a reflection of what MJF wants to be. From head to toe, he is the man, and he’ll prove to MJF why he is the coldest MFer you’ve ever seen, the stylist, the AEW Champion. Ricky Starks. Do not forget the name, because no one is going to forget this face.
We get a recap of FTR v The Briscoes. FTR bring up Colton and Austen, and how they wanna take the shine away from FTR. It’s not going to happen. They wanna kill their legacy? They got their attention. They are going to kick The Ass Boys’ asses. They have nothing FTR wants but they will kick their ass.
Chris Jericho is backstage tossing shit everywhere. Water bottles and pipes go flying.
Before the next match, Tay Melo takes the fight to the entering Ruby Soho with an attack. Ruby is able to fight back with some rights, but Tay sends her sliding across the barricade. She then whips Ruby back first into the barricade and finally into the steps. Tay rolls Ruby into the ring and we get the bell.
Match 5: Ruby Soho vs Tay Melo
Ruby with a go behind, SAITO SUPLEX! Another! A third! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Tay with a weak kick out. Ruby mounts and hits some right hands. Bryce takes her off. Ruby grabs the tights, back elbow from Tay. Ruby with a No Future kick but Tay has her hand up and she leaves the ring. Ref starts the count then holds Ruby back from exiting. Tay is leaving the match, so Ruby leaves and grabs her halfway up the ramp. Tay grabs at the nose, Tay locks the head. DDT TO RUBY! Holy shit…
We are back and Ruby hits a big boot in the corner, another, misses a third, slams Tay into the corner face first. Ruby sends her face into the buckle over and over. Ref holds her back. Ruby grabs Tay, sweeps the leg and slams her down hard. Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Ruby grabs the arm, drags Tay towards the corner. Ruby to the top rope. She dives, rolls through, but Tay with a HUGE Kick to the face! Cover for 1…2…NO!!! Tay lifts Ruby, Ruby blocks, chops the chest, Tay chops, they trade blows. Tay with an arm/hip toss, Piledriver to Ruby!!! Cover for 1..2……NO!!!!
Ruby on the back of Tay! Ruby with the finisher! It’s over! Cover for 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Ruby Soho
Both girls put a lot of effort into showing some fire and animosity, and although it was yet again put in the spot before the main event, they tried to give us something worth watching, while at the same time, closing a chapter on a c-level story.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: Stopwatch Issues
Marvez is backstage with Hangman Adam Page. He says he was laid out for 60 seconds. In the ambulance, he answered some questions, and slowly came back to life. He is handed his phone by an EMT, they ask what his son’s name is, and Page realizes he couldn’t remember his name. He didn’t know his name. He has been to hell, and that was hell. If Moxley wants to fight him, he’ll fight him. But if Moxley is tempting him to go to hell, he will take Jon with him
Further backstage, Dustin Runnels is with The Best Friends and Danhausen. They will be facing Butcher and Blade and Kip and Trent.
Match 5: AEW World Heavyweight Championship Match
Ricky Starks vs MJF
After some jawjacking, we get a kick from MJF instead of a lockup! Side headlock to Ricky. Ricky shoots him off, shoulder tackle from MJF and Ricky is pissed. MJF mocks Ricky’s pose. Lockup! Side headlock, tackle from MJF, he hits the ropes, hops over Ricky, Ricky misses a right, another, MJF with the Flair strut. Ricky shoots the ropes, hops over MJF, ucks a right, another, under the leap frog, shoulder tackle finally lands and MJF is shot to the outside! Ricky poses. MJF leaves through the crowd, slaps some popcorn out of a guy’s hand, then tosses the hat of another guy’s.
MJF back in the ring. Arm drag from Ricky! Hip toss to MJF! Back body drop to MJF! Ricky tries for a Sunset Flip, rollup for 1..2.NO!!! MJF misses a kick. Rollup for 1..2.NO!!! Backslide for 1..2..NO!!! Inside cradle for 1..2……>NO!!! That was a close one. Clothesline from Ricky. MJF crawls to the corner. Ricky rushes the corner, MJF ties himself up in the ropes, ref holds Ricky back, thumb to the eye of Ricky! MJF shoulders Ricky into the corner, whip hard into the opposite corner chest first. MJF stands tall in the corner and checks his watch. Snapmare and MJF with a bear hug from behind. Ricky stands, in pain, and drives some elbows behind him. Ricky hits the ropes, but MJF lifts him and hangs him up on the top rope.
WE ARE BACK and Starks hits a hip toss. They are both down for a bit, but Starks comes back with a elbow in the corner and a high clothesline. Damn, he leaped into the air for that one. He rushes MJF, tornado DDT off the top rope. Ricky grabs MJF, looks for the Ro Sham Beaux but MJF blocks, so Starks hits him with a Liger Bomb! Cover for 1..2…NO! Starks up in the corner, so too MJF. Starks tries for a spear, but MJF moves out of the way. Starks hits the buckle. MJF to the 2nd rope. He stomps the left elbow of Starks. MJf grabs the left wrist, spins Starks, Starks kicks, tries for Ro Sham Beaux again, but MJF transitions behind, reversal, roll up from Starks for 1..2.NO!! MJF reveres and rolls up for 1..2.NO!!! Uses the ropes! No! Powerbomb from MJF ONTO THE KNEE! Damn! Cover for 1..2….NO!!!! MJF slams the hand down on the mat hard. MJF kicks Ricky in the head, a slap now. Another. He’s toyin with Ricky. Ricky fires back with his own!!! They go at it in the middle of the ring back and forth!!! Kick from MJF. Ricky catches. THUMB TO THE EYE!! MJF hits the ropes, kick to the face! MJF fires back with a rolling elbow, but Starks flies off the ropes with a SPEAR!!!! Ref starts the count! When he gets to 8, the crowd screams OCHO. Lol. Nice.
Ricky crawls to cover at 9…but MJF was playing possum! SALT OF THE EARTH!!!! Ricky reaches for the ropes, so MJF pulls back on the arm!!! Starks uses his boot to reach, but MJF grabs the leg!!! Starks uses his final limb to get to the ropes!!! He reaches it!! MJF stands. Starks pulls himself up, MJF tries to lock it in again, but Ricky rolls him up for 1..2..NO!!!! Side headlock takedown, leg scissors, kip up, they trade, Starks bridges over, MJF bridges up out of it, tries for a powerslam, but Starks with a Superkick!!!! Powerbo—NO!!!! MJF lands on his feet, Double underhook,!!!
MJF lands on his feet! He hides behind the ref! Ricky moves the ref to the side. MJF with a LOW BLOW!!! Rollup! 1…2….3!!!
Winner: MJF
Wow. Just wow. They started off old school, brought in the new school, then went back to so many tactics and moves we’ve seen in the past. I don’t know if it was by design, but in a lot of ways, this was a hell of a callback to a lot of classics.
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: 15:49
MJF walks up the ramp with his title, but the music of Bryan Danielson hits and here comes The American Dragon! He chases MJF all the way to the crowd. MJF stands tall in the crowd while Bryan points to him in the ring.
Bryan helps Starks up and holds his hand up high.
End Show
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