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Acero’s WWE RAW Review 8.5.24
Image Credit: WWE
Loading...Hey everyone! Let’s review POPEYE’S And by Let’s, I mean let’s watch Michael Ornelas’s review POPEYE’S on his Fine Dining Podcast!
Y’all, it’s hot!
WE start with the expected recap of Summerslam, where The Judgment Day bursted at the seams!
We get the winning wrestlers from Saturday arriving to the arena in numerous ways.
We then go to the middle of the ring, where one Ludwig Kaiser stands in the center of darkness. He demands all our gratitude for our NEW World Heavyweigh Champion, The Ring General, Gunther.
Kaiser over here tryna take Samanatha’s job.
Gunther comes out suited up and gives Kaiser a big hug of appreciation. He holds his title up high for the pyro pic and grabs a mic.
He introduces himself. He says if we think his IC reign was historic, wait till you see what he does with this title. In this ring, he is above everyone. He is prepared for everyone and everything. Nothing can catch him off guard. He is greatness personified. From this day forth, Monday Night RAW and the legacy of this business and sport and title belong to him.
Randy Orton seems to disagree! He comes out and Cole blows several loads.
Gunther admits that he is wrong, because this caught him off guard.
Orton says he wanted to come congratulate Gunther, but that’s not really his style. The title looks mighty fine hanging over his shoulders. He’s a good looking champion. But he can’t help that when he looks at that title, he realizes that Orton is the only reason Gunther is holding the title in the first place. Gunther beat Orton at King of the Ring…but did he really? We all know it, even HHH knows sit. His shoulders were not flat. It’s the ref’s decision, he gets it, he’s been here long enough, but Triple H saw the footage, and Triple H knows there needs to be a Gunther v Orton sequel. He told the world that there would be one. That’s why he’s here tonight – he is calling that in. He is he only man that can match Gunther. Smooth vs Smoother. In fact, he thinks these fans deserve a modern day Flair v Steamboat. He knows he can be one, but can Gunther be the other? He’s a living legend, and that’s fine. Orton has made a career out of killing legends. At Bash in Berlin, he’ll do it again. He’ll walk out of Gunther’s home country the new champion.
Gunther, says everything Orton says is true, and not beating him clean left a bit of a stain on his record, so if those voices in Orton’s head tell him that he can beat Gunther, he’s gotta let Orton know that the voice are wrong. Randy Orton, he accepts.
Gunther pulls him in and says nothing catches him off-guard. Orton says he’s heard that before. It doesn’t need to be out of nowhere, he wants Gunther to see it coming.
Backstage, Sheamus is with Jackie Redmond, who says that Kaiser blames Sheamus for his injury, and he’ll face him tonight.
Sheamus says he’s had his sights set on Dunne, but what ya gonna do? All these young up-and-coming thundercats want to make a name for themselves. He says bring em on. He’ll fight em all. He’s going to test Kaiser’s ribs out then handle Dunne.
Sheamus vs Ludwig Kaiser
Before the bell rings, Kaiser meets Sheamus at the bottom of the ramp, showing more animosity between the two than Drew and Punk. Sheamus rolls Kaiser in and the bell rings after a sick chop. They trade uppercuts, with Sheamus dropping Kaiser. Whip to the ropes, Kaiser kicks off the ropes. Sheamus kicks out the conrer, kaiser catches the kick and slaps Sheamu in th face then chops the chst. A kick, more chops, and Sheamus eats them all. Ref holds him back at 4 and Sheamus is excited to return the favor. Sheamus lifts, Kaiser licks the leg out. Kick to the knee, another. Sheamus asks for more. He catches another kick and chops the stomach. Another. Kaiser shoves him away then Sheamus gets a fireman’s. Rolling senton to Kaiser! Sheamus to the top rope! Kaiser rolls outside! Ref checks on Kaiser, who asks for medical to come down. Sheamus walks over to Kaiser, ref holds him back. Kaiser is up to clock Sheamus as he is distracted. Right hands to the face. Kaiser slides out of the opposite side to get a running start, and gets a dropkick to Sheamus INTO the steps!
The ref starts to count. Sheamus rolls in at 9. Kaiser attacks with stomps and kicks in the corner. Knee to the face of Sheamus. Running kick from Sheamus. He lifts Sheamus and rips at his nose then drops an elbow onto the forehead. Big right to the mid. Another. Throat thrust from Kaiser. He attacks the leg with a dropkick. Kaiser chokes Sheamus all the way outside of t he ring, leaving him hanging over the apron. Big chop to the chest. Kick to the back of Shemaus. Sheamus rolls into the ring. Kaiser follows. He stands Kaiser locks up Sheamus around the ropes to do the chest beatdown. He gets a solid three hits in before catching the first and hitting Kaiser with a big clothesline. Kaiser with some kicks. He says he is going to take Sheamus out, and slaps him in the face. Kaiser with a chop, another, Sheamus blocks. He stares kaiser down, headbutt. Right hand. Irish Curse! He lifts up for a Celtic Cross, but Kaiser slips off and hits an elbow, another, WHITE NOISE! Cover! 1..2…NO!!! Cloverleaf attempt. He gets it! Kaiser reaches the bottom ropes and breaks the hold. Kaiser to the apron. Sheamus grabs him by the hair, but Kaiser hangs him up then hits a spinning discus clothesline! Cover for 1..2.NO!! To the apron! Sheamus gets the beatdown, and gawd damn they are hard hits. Sheamus to the top rope! He flies off with a clothesline to Kaiser on the outside! Sheamus rolls Kaiser in, but HERE COMES PETE DUNNE with the shillelagh!!
Sheamus ducks, big knee to Dunne! Sheamus rolls in! Enziguri to Sheamus! Cover! 1.2….NO!!!!
Kaiser grabs Sheamus by the head and sets up, but a knee rom Sheamus! BROGUE!!! COVER! 1….2….3!!!
Winner: Sheamus
Certified Briscoe over on the RAW Brand. Sick ass start.
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: 11:20
A video covering the debut of The Wyatt Family and how it connects with The Wyatt Sicks.
We get some intersplicing of the Sicks with a Bo voiceover.
“We’re Here!”
Damien Priest is here, and he is pissed. He yells for Finn Balor to come out and take his beating like a man. He calls him a coward and a pendejo. Finn knows where he is from, knows his story, knows he’s been on his own most his life. Until he found The Judgment Day. They made him feel like he belonged, then last Friday at the premier of his documentary, he realized his family got a whole lot bigger. He wants to introduce Finn to his new family. He’s not upset cuz he lost the title, he can win that back. No, he is pissed cuz Finn took that title from all of us. Finn makes Priest feel like he disappointed his family. He cant let that stand. Finn, listen closely: when he is suffering, know that he is the reason for his pain. So get out here and let the beatings begin.
Finn Balor is on the screen. He tells Damien, big man, that he brought this all upon himself. He didn’t betray Priest, Priest betrayed The Judgment Day. There was supposed to be no leaders. That all changed when Priest became champion. He went back on his word. A year ago, Finn almost became champion, and Priest fucked him over. Told Finn it’s time to man up. So he waited. He waited a whole year and he manned up. He screwed Priest and his “Family.” He’s from the streets? Well now he’s just a loser from the streeets? He won’t fight Priest, but someone will who has earned it and deserves it. JD will. Finn is going to wait. He’ll wait till Priest feels safe and comfortable and he’s almost forgotten about him, and when his back is turned, Finn will be there to stab him again and again and again, and it won’t just be him…
We zoom out and Carlito, JD McDonagh, Dominik Mysterio, and Liv Morgan are standing behind Finn.
He says they all will.
Priest leaves the ring, and heads to the back while commentary postulates on the new version of The Judgment Day.
Adam Pearce is speaking backstage. Here comes Bronson Reed who is mad that Sheamus had a match tonight, after he beat Sheamus last week. Pearce tries to give an excuse, but Reed isn’t having it. He sees now, if he wants to get to the top, he’s gotta create his own path.
Lyra Valkyria vs Shayna Baszler
Shayna works the left arm for a. bit. Lyra is able to hit a crossbody to create some separation. Clotheslines drop Shayna down a few times. Some kicks from Lyra, she tries for an enziguri, buy Shayna catches the ankle for a submission. Lyra rolls out of it, hits the corner, kicks out from it. Nother kick and Shyan catches the leg and tries for a screw, but Lyra spins and hits a powerbomb for a pin. 1..2…NO!!! Lyra to the top rope! Zoey and Sonya distract. Kick to oey, Lyra hops down, hirts her left leg, dropkick to the girls outside, but Shayna with a clutch!!!!! Lyra turns into it, gets a fireman’s.
Shayna drops behind her, Lyra rolls through, enziguri to Shayna, fireman’s, NIGHTWING! COVER!!!! 1..2.NO!!! Sonya and Zoey in to break up the pin for the DQ!!
Winner: Lyra Valkyria
Ok, we gotta get Lyra out of this fued and onto something else asap.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: Less than 3
Here comes Damage CTRL for the save! We get a three on three and Damage CTRL clears the ring with ease.
The Final Testament get a video promo saying the clock has struck midnight, and tonight The Authors of Pain will put an end to The New Day. The New Day have been pillars in this business, but all good things must come to an end. How tragic. The real tragedy is that it didn’t have to be this way for Woods. Kofi carved his path, became the man. Woods has been too afraid to become his own man. History will remember. Woods will be just a man standing next to The Man. So sad. It didn’t have to be this way. He gave Woods opportunity after opportunity – certainly more than he has been given. But Woods chose his faith. Tonight, we will witness the death of The New Day.
CM Punk is sullenly walking backstage.
Backstage, Maxxine tries to talk to Ivy Nile but here comes Chad Gable to stop that shit, saying he doesn’t need Maxxine and she can keep Otis and Akira, and keep the name The Alpha Academy, too, because he doesn’t need them.
Punk is smiling, and he bets we’re wondering why he is happy. He congratulates a new UFC champion. He hasn t been to Baltimore in ten years, so it makes him happy to hear 10k people chanting his name. He says Summerslam was not a guarantee. He imagines we love him due to his get back up attitude. Some people in this company hate him because he doesn’t stay down. He says it wasn’t guarantee because he got injured just as he came back. He was told 9 months. He is happy and proud because he did it in five. There’s a big man walking around here and he hurt Punk, and that happens, but he gloated and prayed about it, put his name on a shirt, told lies about him to make him fel better about himself. Why is he happy? Because he is back. Summerslam was the start. His road to Mania started Saturday. He’s started at the bottom before. Where would he be if it wasn’t for the fans? He wants Drew for a round 2, because he is still standing and there is still blood in his veins.
BUT here comes Seth Rollins! He’s wearing all black and some Hitman like shades and he doesn’t look too happy at all.
Seth removes his frilly jacket and stands shirtless, presumably ready for some action.
He has a mic, so let’s find out together.
Seth says Punk is in a good mood, well so is he. After ten long years, it is finally time for him to put Punk in the dirt.
Punk says he aint the one that dressed like a cowboy today, but he’ll be his huckleberry, let’s go.
Drew McIntyre is in the crowd! He stops them with the mic, asks what’s with all the negativity. Tonight, we celebrate. Drew says he has earned Punk’s ear, he’s going to say nice things, talk about Punk. He proved that he still got it, but he’s no longer the best in the world, Drew baits Punk into the crowd. He runs up to get his bracelet!
In the ring, Bronson Reed comes from out of nowhere to attack Seth! HUGE DEATH VALLEY DRIVER TO SETH! SENTON! ANOTHER ONE! Reed drags Seth to the corner. TSUNAMI!!!!! Reed isn’t done! He heads to the top and hits another TSUNAMI!!!!
Refs and agents come and Reed dodges them all to hit another Tsunami! ANOTHER ONE! A FIFTH FUCKING TSUNAMI
Wow.
He leaves as refs check on Seth.
HE’S COMING BACK!!!! Reed sits on the corner as Seth rolls out of the ring, bloodied from the mouth.
The New Day vs Authors of Pain
Akam to start with Kofi. They lockup, but Akam corners Kofi, ducks under and Kofi whips to the corner, reversal. Kofi hops up flies, lands with a right, side headlock but Kofi ducks under, hits the ropes. SPINEBUSTER TO KOFI!!! Tag and Razar!
We come back to Kofi being cornered and lifted to the top rope. He flies off with a tornado DDT! Razar in. Woods in. Woods corners and mounts with punches! Woods with a hard right, whip to the corner, Woods kicks out of the corner, superkick! Another to Akam! Razar lifts Woods nad sits him up top. He splits the legs, Woods blocks a right hand. Headbutts to Razar. Woods to the top rope. Dropkick to Razar. Akam gets sent over the top!Kofi flies off the top! Woods looks to fly but Scarlett is on the apron! Cross with a cheap shot! Razar grabs Woods and lifts him by the head.
BUT HERE COMES A BIG BAD MAN! IT’S ODYSSEY JONES!!!! He sends Cross flying!
Winner:
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 6:55
AOP attacks, but Jones runs into the ring to hit each of them with back splashes in oppsite corners! Side slam to not one, but BOTH OF THEM!!! HOLY FUCK!!!
Cross tries to attack. Jones grabs him and spins then slams him down!
Woods shows some love to Jones. Nicely done.
Kofi looks happy about this all, but Woods looks a little concerned.
A-Town Down Under vs The Awesome Truth
WE get all four men attacking one another then Awesome Truth clears the ring.
WE come back to Miz getting the upperhand in it all, going for the finish. Miz kicks the midsection, again to the ribs. Kicks in the corner to Austin. Clothesline to the corner. Truth gets a tag. Crossbody from Miz. Truth is the legal man tho, so no pin.
In comes Grayson. AA to Waller from Truth! He turns, Theory for the finish! A-Town Down Under! Cover! 1..2…3!!!
Winners: A-Town Down Under
The commercial cut this in half, which sucks when the match is only about seven minutes, but these are the breaks.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 7:26
Miz shows frustration but they hug it out.
Backstage, Cathy gets an interview with Bron Breakker and asks him how he feels about the onslaught of people coming for his ass.
He says just bring it.
Damien Priest vs JD McDonagh
JD slaps Priest and that is a BAD idea. He tries to corner Priest, but Priest steps out, HUGE BOOT to JD. Priest sends JD t othe corner, chops hard, hits some righ hands then stomps over and over and over. Priest corners JD then whips hard. One handed flapjack. Whip from Priest, kick from JD to the chest! Huge punch to the face of JD! Priest misses a splash in the corner, so Jd hits him with some shoulders! Kick to Priest over and over in the corner, dropping him down. Ref holds JD back at 4. JD with a running dropkick. JD stomps, right hand, another, another. JD with an elbow to the back of the head. Right hand from Priest. JD slaps back, Priest with a hard right! They go face to face, Priest with a right hand. Kick from Priest to the chest and JD is sent to the outside. Gawd damn they fightin.
Carlito helps JD up, Priest lifts JD and walks him over to the post, but JD hops off and sends Priest into the post! He rolls into the ring, then dives right out with a suicide dive!
We are BACK from break and Priest breaks out of a submission and boxes the ears! He tries for a chokeslam, but JD flips out of it and hits a headbutt. JD to the top rope! MOONSAULT! Cover 1.2….NO!!!! JD grabs the arm, pulls Priest up – tries to, atl east. Priest with a Flatliner! JD with rights over and over. Priest kicks after a scream, a rolling right, another off the rebound. Priest stomps, stomp, runs with a back elbow! Double underhook! He sends JD flying with a Broken Arrow. Priest to the outside. He runs, and launches JD over and onto the announce table!
Preist rolls him back in, JD stands slow, hits the ropes and a HUGE clothesline! High kick to Carlito! Priest drops the traps! SOUTH OF HEAV—NO!!!
FINN ATTACKS!!
Winner: Damien Priest via DQ
Total Rating:
Match Time:
Dominik Mysterio, Carlito, JD, and Finn all take turns attacking Priest! Liv enters the ing to smile while Priest gets beat down. Finn whips JD into Priest, Priest sends him flying, Dom next, righ hand to Carlito! Priest turns. Fin is there! Priest lifts ihm for a finish, but Liv pulls Finn off of his shoulders!!! Liv goes face to face with Priest, Dom from behind clips the back of the knee. Liv stomps.
HERE COMES RHEA FUCKING RIPLEY!!!!!
Rhea Ripley runs down the ring, and both Dom and Liv run through the crowd. Rhea catches LIV!!! She sends Liv into the ringpost. Again! Rhea clears the table! Rhea looks to powerbomb Liv, but Dom is there to save her and pull her into the crowd!
In the ring, Priest shoves JD off, and Rhea is there waiting for him! HEADBUTT TO JD!! SOUTH OF HEAVEN!!!
We head backstage where Ilja Dragunov and Sami Zayn talk. Ilja tries to hype Sami up agter his loss. Here comes Jey Uso to tell Sami he’ll pick himself right back up, but Sami says this feels a bit different. Jey says no, he’ll get his rematch and he’ll be champion again.
Sami says he got the rematch next week, he’s ready. Jey is mad Sami was playin with him. He tells Jey to handle that then they’ll handle business against The Judgment Day, then he’ll be a double champ.
Another video, this time for Joe Gacy.
We get a rocking hair with a lantern sitting on it while the music of The Wyatt Sicks plays, and man I got chills.
The Wyatt Sicks vs American Made
Lumis to start with Gable. Lumis crawls on his knuckles and knees, chasing Gable around the ring. Tag to Julius, and Lumis hits a high elbow. Spinebuster to Julius. Elbow drops to the chest. Tag to Gacy who corners Julius. Clothesline and a whip, and Gacy hangs upside downin the corner. Clothesline, big toss over the head. Tag to Lumis. NEckbreaker double team. Gable pulls lumis down by the hair. Tag to Gable. WE get all three men behind Lumis. Creeds knock Sicks off the apron, but here come Rowan and Gacy! All six men fight one another. Lumis whips Gable into the back of Julius, where Rowan holds him. Body slam to Brutus then Rowan bodyslams Julius onto him. Gacy with a running senton, then Rowan powerbombs Lumis onto the guys outside.
We are back and Uncle Howdy and Nikki Cross wait at the bottom of the ramp. Howdy in the chair, Nikki sitting and rocking beside him.
We see Brutus hit a samoan drop to Gacy. Tag to Brutus who hits a moonsault, Julius with his own, then Gable gets his own and that’s a pin for 1..2..NO!!! Gble grabs Gacy, tag to Brutus, tag to Julius, and The Bothers whip Gacy t othe ropes, who does a handspring then turns with a clothesline! Rowan wants a tag. Gets it! He’s in, Gable is in. Big clothesline! Axe handle. He nkocks both brothers down, then spins with a leg lariat to Gable. Elbow to the head, clothesline to Brutus. He sends him over the top rope. Back body drop to Gable!
Rowan leave the ring to grab Gable, then rolls him into the ring and gives Brodie Lee some love! Rowan slings himself over the top rope into a senton. Big powerslam to Gable! Ocver! 1..2..NO!!! The Brothers break up the pin. Running knee, here comes Gacy, he gets attacked with rights and gets shot out the ring. They follow and attack the head. But Lumis is on the top rope! He dives off with a leg drop!!!!
In the ring, Gable locks up behind Rowan. GERMAN!!! 1.2…….NO!!!! Gable asks for the Creeds to get up, but Lumis and Gacy creep up with sinister smiles. The Creeds attck, but we get stereo Uranages!!! Gable turns, Rowan is standing. Big Headgrasp. Chokeslam!
Tag from Gacy. Tag to Lumis. We get a double team powerbomb of Lumis onto Gable then Lumis dives off the top rope with a frogsplash and a pin for 1…2…3!!!
Winners: The Wyatt Sicks
This was beautiful .
Total Rating: *****
Match Time: 11:04
End Show
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