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One Tough Bastard Book Review
Loading...One Tough Bastard Book Review
Written by Adam Howe
Published by Honey Badger Press
Approximately 300 pages
Releases March 1st, 2021
Available via Kindle, trade paperback, and Audible
Buy the book here
One Tough Bastard, the latest book from writer Adam Howe, is one of the funniest books I’ve ever read. Ever. Part send up of the action movies of the 1980’s and 1990’s, celebrity culture, and Hollywood in general, One Tough Bastard will make you laugh and laugh hard, especially at the shockingly dumb exploits of its main character, washed up action star Shane Moxie. I wasn’t expecting any of that. When I saw the book cover, a goofy riff on the iconic poster for the Sylvester Stallone action/horror flick Cobra, I was actually expecting something kind of stupid and ridiculous. It’s absolutely true that aspects of the One Tough Bastard story are stupid and ridiculous, the experience of reading One Tough Bastard isn’t. One Tough Bastard is brilliant, and the kind of book that, when it’s over, you want a sequel immediately, kind of like the good action movies the story sends up.
As I said, the main character of the book is washed up action star Shane Moxie, a guy who can’t accept that his big deal movie star days are long behind him. Moxie still adheres to the clothing style that helped make him famous (ripped jeans, loud shirts, a shotgun shell earring, ninja star spurs on ridiculous sounding animal skin boots, and a mullet that defies adequate description. Moxie is also covered in Special Forces tattoos despite never actually being in the military) and still has the same clueless social attitudes that were seen as normal but are now outrageous (the way he interacts with the guy that runs his bar, Manny Estrada, a gay man, is a fine example of this). One night, while participating in a repertory screening of his classic buddy cop movie Copsicle where he hopes a publicity stunt gets him noticed once again, Moxie is almost killed in a brutal shooting at the theater. Who the hell would try to shoot and kill a washed up celebrity? And why?
Without giving away the full plot of the book, I will say that Klaus Kaiser, a super successful action star that owns and operates a chain of movie and pop culture centric restaurant/night club type places (think the old Planet Hollywood) and Moxie’s hero, isn’t the nicest guy in the world (he sure knows how to kill people). Kaiser is like an amped up Ahnold Schwarzenegger crossed with a Bond villain. Kaiser isn’t as clever as a standard Bond villain, though. He thinks he’s as clever.
Moxie’s old co-star Duke, a super intelligent chimp that can talk with the help of a machine that gives him the voice of Kevin Spacey (Christopher Plummer’s wasn’t available when Duke got his machine), tries to help Moxie figure out what the hell is happening. Moxie and Duke don’t get along (they didn’t get along while making Copsicle, and Duke’s career after that movie skyrocketed while Moxie’s tanked, so Moxie is still resentful about that), but they do form an uneasy partnership as the story progresses. Their interactions are so great because Duke is a chimp and is infinitely smarter than Moxie, and Moxie’s inability to realize that he isn’t the badass he wants people to think he is gets in the way of him listening to Duke. And Moxie should listen to Duke.
Author Howe manages to move seamlessly back and forth between the main story and everyone’s backstory, all of which is fascinating. You can tell that Howe spent a lot of time putting the various pieces of the plot together and that Howe has a real affection for the movies he’s lampooning. There are so many jokes that you will miss if you’re not steeped in 1980’s and 1990’s action cinema. I mean, if you don’t know about any of that stuff the jokes will probably still work, but they won’t work as well if you’re not familiar with the action genre from the 1980’s and 1990’s. Howe also has a knack for describing the ridiculous matter of factly, which makes that ridiculous stuff even funnier.
The story’s action sequences are cinematic and exciting, and there’s a fair amount of gore on display, which can be a little off-putting at the beginning, but the blood gets goofier as the story moves on. I was surprised by how momentarily disturbed I was by the violence at the start of the book. I’m not sure why that is, but it happened. I didn’t feel that way at the end of the book. I was too busy laughing. And that’s what you’ll do throughout the book. Laugh.
At around 300 pages, One Tough Bastard doesn’t waste time and doesn’t overstay its welcome. Howe tells his story with crisp language and, I can’t stress this enough, makes sure there’s always something to laugh at. Now, some readers may find some of the jokes and attitudes on display offensive, especially some of Moxie’s dialogue, but it all serves the story. And you can’t take Moxie seriously. The guy is a mess.
At the end of the book, Howe goes through some of Moxie’s filmography, providing information on each movie’s production. Each one of those descriptions would likely work out as a terrific story on its own, a sort of “behind-the-scenes” tell all for each movie. The KKKop story would no doubt be a riot (you’ll find out that KKKop is the movie that destroyed Moxie’s career. You have to read the book to fully understand just how bad KKKop was for Moxie’s career and society in general. It’s insane).
One Tough Bastard is a riot from start to finish and a major comedic achievement. It’s also a brilliant love letter to the kind of movie that so many action movie nerds love. It’s also the first in what I hope are multiple Shane Moxie and Duke adventures. They make for a great team, and I’m sure there are more stories to tell, both from their past and their future. I know I’m down for more.
Read One Tough Bastard, available starting March 1st, 2021. Read it, read it, read it!
