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The 411 Dumpster Fire of the Week: President Trump

March 9, 2020 | Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz
TrumpMania Donald Trump President Trump

The 411mania Dumpster Fire of the Week

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the latest edition of The 411 Dumpster Fire of the Week. I’m Bryan Kristopowitz.

Okay, so I’ve watched a few of those KanaChanTV YouTube videos from WWE performer Asuka and I’m mystified as to what they are supposed to be. I mean, they’re entertaining and watchable and weird and it’s fun to see Asuka outside of the WWE, interacting with the “real” world, but is that all it’s meant to be? Just Asuka interacting with the world?

And what’s with all of the eating? Is she doing some sort of “foodie” thing?

And do these videos make more sense to someone from Japan/more familiar with Japanese culture?

So who out there understands these videos? What am I missing? And who out there watches them without, perhaps, not really “getting” them?

And now onto this week’s Dumpster Fire of the Week.

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This week, the 411 Dumpster Fire of the Week goes to Dumpster Fire Hall of Famer, 2019 Dumpster Fire of the Year, and (Jesus Christ) 45th President of the United States, Donald Trump, for pretty much everything he did and said last week. You know, this was supposed to be Chuck Schumer’s week to sit in the Dumpster Fire of the Week spotlight because I didn’t think anyone would say or do anything fucking dumber than his completely unhinged verbal attack on the U.S. Supreme Court during a pro-choice rally in Washington D.C. I mean, how often do government officials threaten members of the court and then have to apologize for it? I was wrong, though. There was one government official doing and saying things even fucking dumber than Senator Schumer, and he just kept doing and saying dumb fucking things over and over again. That government official?

The President of the United fucking States.

First, there was the interview he did with Sean Hannity on Fox News, where the President claimed that he didn’t think the worldwide coronavirus death rate, established by the World Health Organization to be 3.4%, was much lower, more like “below 1%.” And he came to this conclusion based on a “personal hunch” after “talking to a lot of people that do this.” Who did he talk to? He didn’t say, most likely because he didn’t fucking talk to anyone, and by that I mean an actual expert. I’m sure he talked to some conspiracy theory dipshit that told him that, yes, the worldwide coronavirus outbreak is an international deep state conspiracy to make him look bad.

Second, there’s Trump’s seeming insistence on directly contradicting everything Vice-President Pence, the guy that Trump put in charge of the federal government’s coronavirus response. The Vice-President has daily briefings where he attempts to explain what the ongoing federal response is to the spread of the virus. He shows up at these briefings surrounded by scientists and experts that answer questions he can’t. The Vice-President is trying to do what a “normal” presidential administration would do in the event of a crisis/developing crisis. As far as I know, in terms of the actual science and the actual response, the Vice-President has told the truth. But then the President just has to chime in with his bullshit, which then forces the Vice-President to have to answer/explain what the fuck Trump is talking about. It never ends well, as it makes the Vice-President and any scientist or expert that has to keep his or her job look like idiots. Is that what the country and the world needs at this moment?

Third, the President attempted to blame the Obama administration for the inability of the federal government to produce and distribute coronavirus, which was just bullshit. While it’s probably true that you’re never going to take politics out of these situations (and this isn’t an American problem. It’s happening all over the world), it’s still fucking stupid, especially when your claim can be so easily debunked. And with all of the conspiracy nonsense out there concerning the coronavirus, you would think Trump would try to minimize his own bullshit.

Fourth, there was the President’s recent visit to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta, which was a complete fucking disaster. Instead of sticking to the facts, sticking to what the experts know and what the government is actually doing, the President just started fucking babbling about shit that just wasn’t true at all. The President also claimed that experts want to know how he knows so much about what’s happening, which is yet another example of his “what I’ve done is the greatest/best”/”that’s what people are saying” defense of his behavior. No one outside of his sycophantic inner circle is saying anything like that, and it has nothing to do with anything that’s happening. So why say it?

Fifth, there was the President calling Washington governor Jay Inslee “a snake” during that CDC visit, most likely because the governor complained about the federal government’s response to the virus outbreak. Governors, regardless of their political party and the political party in charge in the White House, always complain about the federal government, so what’s new here? Because the president believes that he has to respond to everything and that criticizing the federal government is actually criticizing him and that’s just unacceptable. Even in the midst of a crisis, where everyone needs everyone on the same page/working together, the President can’t find it in himself to be the bigger man, just ignore the noise, and press on with dealing with reality. If there’s ten pounds of bullshit laying on the floor, the president just has to find a way to add ten more pounds to the pile.

And sixth, there was the story that the White House officials shot down a CDC recommendation that older and physically fragile Americans in general stay off commercial airlines. Why do that? Because the airlines are hemorrhaging money, slowing the economy, and the President is only worried about his re-election? If there’s some other reason for this it hasn’t been revealed. And, really, would anyone believe the reason?

The President is a liar, terrible at his job, and a complete asshole that can’t stop himself from saying and doing stupid fucking shit. He can’t be trusted, and his relentless incompetence is terrifying (not all that surprising but still terrifying). And I really don’t know what he’s worried about. He will be re-elected.

Let that sink in. Even after all of this, he will be re-elected.

Jesus Christ.

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And now for this week’s honorable mentions…

Chuck Schumer, Democratic U.S. Senator from New York and Senate minority leader, for his completely unhinged verbal attack on the U.S. Supreme Court during a pro-choice rally in Washington D.C.. Sure, he may have been caught up in the “heat of the moment” because he’s worried about what the Supreme Court essentially making abortion illegal in the United States, but that’s no excuse for saying anything that even remotely sounds like a physical threat to a government official. It’s fucking stupid. And considering that Schumer is a high ranking member of the Senate he should know ahead of time that everything he says on every issue is going to be examined, parsed, and reported on. Everything. So this whole thing was fucking stupid on his part. At least he sort of apologized for it. Sort of.

Why do people who should know better have to be so fucking stupid?

Matt Gaetz, Republican U.S. Congressperson from Florida, for wearing a gas mask on the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives in order to mock the seriousness of the coronavirus. And then, a few days later, a person in Gaetz’s district died from the disease. So that “let’s be honest here, people, this isn’t that big of a deal” moment sure seems like a major fuck up on his part. It also makes him look like a heartless, clueless dipshit. Brilliant move, Matt.

Chris Mathews, the now disgraced former host of Hardball with Chris Mathews on MSNBC, for being fired from MSNBC. Yes, I know, he “retired,” but he was fired. Did he deserve a better send off? Maybe. But then, if there are other female journalists out there that he made feel uncomfortable, it’s probably best that he just went away. I wonder who will replace him?

-Moviemaker and liberal activist Michael Moore, for his ongoing meltdown over the implosion of Bernie Sanders. And that’s what it is, a meltdown. And it doesn’t look good at all, especially when it sounds like what he said was racist/could be perceived as racist. There’s nothing wrong with supporting a political candidate with all your heart and whatnot, but don’t make yourself look like a fool while doing it. It’s ridiculous and sad. Really, really sad.

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