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The Top 19 Movies of 1983 (#9 – 5)

February 16, 2022 | Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz
National Lampoon's Vacation Image Credit: Warner Bros.

The Top 19 Movies of 1983: #9-#5

Image Credit: Image Credit: Mill Creek Entertainment

Another 1983 that almost made the list but, in the end, didn’t, is Krull. A sort of sci-fi fantasy movie from director Peter Yates, Krull has all of the necessary elements to be great: a crackerjack cast featuring Ken Marshall, Alun Armstrong, Liam Neeson, Robbie Coltrane, and Lysette Anthony; a decent looking fantasy world; a cool weapon (the Glaive, something every fantasy movie nerd would love to have), and the cyclops known as Cyclops (naturally). And yet, while movie is fun and worth watching, it doesn’t quite work. It goes on too long, the story is incomprehensible, and the various pieces of it just don’t gel. It’s one of those movies where the idea of it is what’s great, where the actual thing is seriously lacking. The Cyclops also dies in the movie, which is just unacceptable. Yes, the death is heroic and all that, but I still am not over it almost four decades later because he couldn’t be in a sequel and that’s just wrong (I went as the Cyclops for Halloween one year when I was a kid goddamit. You don’t just kill a character like that in a movie).

I’m surprised that no one has tried to mount a remake/reboot of Krull. Rework the story into something that makes sense and people can follow, add in today’s special effects and you could have a big fantasy movie winner. Krull could finally become the franchise it wanted to be back in 1983. The Glaive deserves to be seen again.

If you missed the first two parts of this list, or if you just want to read it again for some reason, check them below:
Week 1

Week 2

And now, without any further what have you, the Top 19 Movies of 1983 list continues:

The Top 19 Movies of 1983: #9-#5

Image Credit: Warner Bros.

9- Never Say Never Again: Directed by Irvin Kershner, Never Say Never Again is a James Bond movie that’s technically a remake of Thunderball (you can read all about why that was allowed here) and while it does star Sean Connery in his final go as Bond, it isn’t affiliated with the Bond movies produced by Eon Productions. Never Say Never Again was released by Warner Bros. and is essentially its own thing (Eon Productions and United Artists released an “official” James Bond movie, Octopussy starring Roger Moore in 1983). Never Say Never Again follows the same basic story as Thunderball, with Bond having to go to the Bahamas to battle SPECTRE agent Maximilian Largo (Klaus Maria Brandauer) over stolen U.S. military missiles. Max von Sydow is the SPECTRE leader Blofeld, while Kim Basinger is the Bond girl Domino Petachi and Barbara Carrera is the evil Fatima. The great Bernie Casey shows up as Felix Leiter and Rowan Atkinson pops in as a local British official that Bond has to deal with. The movie is a little more deliberate in its pacing as compared to “official” Bond movies of the time and it comes off as more grounded than anything else in the franchise up until that point. That doesn’t mean the movie is devoid of spectacle, though, as Kershner puts together some terrific action set pieces (the motorcycle sequence is awesome). The lack of the official Bond theme is a bit weird the first time you see the movie, but the score by Michael Legrand and the Bond song “Never Say Never Again” by Lani Hall grows on you. And it’s just cool to see Connery playing Bond again. He’s older, yes, and maybe not as fast as he used to be, but he’s still a badass British secret agent who can get the job done, whatever it is. It’s a shame that we didn’t get another Connery “older Bond” story after this. It would have been a hoot to see Connery face Max von Sydow in a sequel.

Image Credit: Warner Bros.

8- Sudden Impact: The fourth “Dirty Harry” movie and the only one in the franchise directed by Clint Eastwood, Sudden Impact is a sleazy thriller that has Eastwood’s Inspector Harry “Dirty Harry” Callahan sent to a small town just outside of San Francisco called San Paulo to investigate a murder (Harry is sent to San Paulo after he causes all sorts of typical “Dirty Harry” carnage in San Francisco: taking down diner robbers, dealing with the mob, getting into shootouts and whatnot. You know, the usual shit). While in San Paulo, Harry butts head with the local police (headed by the great Pat Hingle) and makes nice with Jennifer Spencer (Sondra Locke), a rape victim that just so happens to be responsible for the murder Harry is investigating. Spencer ends up killing several people in town, as she’s out for revenge. The gang of rapists that Spencer takes down are just the most horrible people (Paul Drake’s Mick and Audrie Neenan’s Ray Parkins are two of the most despicable people in all of 1980’s cinema) and Harry eventually joins in on the killing, bringing along his badass .44 Automag ( one of the greatest movie guns of all time) to help. Be on the lookout for Albert Popwell in his final “Dirty Harry movie” appearance, this time as a fellow cop with a penchant for shotguns. And, of course, Sudden Impact gave us one of the greatest movie one liners of all time: “Go ahead, make my day.” Parts of the movie will make your skin crawl, but it all ends properly, which is all you can really ask for.

Image Credit: Warner Bros.

7- National Lampoon’s Vacation: The first movie in the eventual five movie (well, maybe six if you count that Cousin Eddie Christmas TV movie thing but I really don’t want to count that movie because it’s terrible) Griswold family franchise, Vacation gave us the first glimpse of Chevy Chase’s Clark W. Griswold and his need to do things with his family, mainly go on vacation. In Vacation he plans a cross country trip to the Wallyworld amusement park in California. To say that the trip doesn’t go as planned would be a serious understatement. Anything that could go wrong does, and while the trip does create memories that will no doubt last for a lifetime, they’re probably not the best memories (look at what happens to poor Aunt Edna). Anthony Michael Hall and Dana Barron are the first kids, Rusty and Audrey, and Beverly D’Angelo is the once and future Ellen, and they’re all great. The movie is probably best known, though, for Randy Quaid’s Cousin Eddie (one of the great assholes in comedy history) and Christie Brinkley as the Girl in the Ferrari, the hot babe that Clark keeps seeing while on the road and eventually goes swimming with in a hotel pool. Also be on the lookout for Eugene Levy as a sleazy car salesman, Brian Doyle Murray as a watermelon eating bumpkin hotel desk clerk, John Candy and Frank McRae as Wallyworld security guards, Jane Krakowski as Cousin Vicki (who doesn’t cringe at her “Dad says I’m the best French kisser” line?) James Keach as a pissed off cop, and Eddie Bracken as the Disney stand-in Roy Walley. Oh, and director Harold Ramis has a brief voice cameo at the end of the movie. That’s always cool to pick up on.

Image Credit: Visto International Inc.

6- Warrior of the Lost World: One of the greatest low budget Italian post-apocalyptic sci-fi action movies of all time, Warrior of the Lost World has the incomparable Robert Ginty as The Rider, a badass lone warrior blasting through the wastelands on his talking motorcycle who ends up having to fight against the evil Omega outfit, led by Prossor (a truly remarkable Donald Pleasence). Alongside rebel Nastasia (Persis Khambatta), Rider has to fight off countless Omega henchmen and, eventually, a giant truck known as Megaweapon. It’s a fun flick that really doesn’t deserve the endless ridicule it receives (Mystery Science Theater 3000 did a terrific job lampooning the movie, yes, but it really isn’t as ridiculous as they make it out to be. At least to me, anyway). Ginty is terrific as The Rider, and this movie should have led to more Rider adventures (it also should have led to a series of action figures). Please check out my full review of the movie here where I explain in greater detail why the movie is a classic, and then maybe join in on the push to get a real deal special edition Blu-ray of the movie. Warrior of the Lost World deserves it.

Image Credit: Orion Pictures

5- Lone Wolf McQuade: In terms of the cinematic career of Chuck Norris, Lone Wolf McQuade is probably his most important movie. It’s the transition between Chuck’s “martial arts superstar” phase and his “big time action movie star” phase, and it’s the movie that greatly informed his eventual mega successful TV show Walker, Texas Ranger (there would be no Texas Ranger Cordell Walker without Texas Ranger JJ McQuade first). It’s also the movie that established the idea of “Chuck Norris, cowboy,” as Lone Wolf McQuade has a distinct “spaghetti western” feel about it (the score by Francesco De Masi is a dead giveaway). The story has McQuade taking on sleazebag arms dealer Rawley Wilkes (David Carradine) with the help of deputy Kayo (Robert Beltran) and FBI agent Jackson (Leon Isaac Kennedy). We also see McQuade as a divorced family man (he has a tremendous relationship with his daughter and ex-wife), which is something you just don’t expect to see in a “Chuck Norris movie.” The great Barbara Carrera also shows up in the flick as the hot babe that both McQuade and Wilkes have a thing for. Chock full of fights, gun battles, and action galore, the movie ends with one of the great karate showdowns between McQuade and Wilkes. L.Q. Jones also does a nice job as McQuade’s buddy Dakota, and R.G. Armstrong is a real deal asshole as McQuade’s boss Captain Tyler. And William Sanderson is a hoot as Snow. Daniel Frishman also rocks as Falcon, the midget crime boss in a wheelchair (Kane Hodder is also in the movie in a small role as a henchman. Be on the lookout for him. It’s amazing). I love this movie. I will never get enough of it.

**

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