100 Percent Fordified: CHIKARA For British Eyes Only

Wolverhampton, England – 4.3.2015

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Icarus
Campeones de Parejas: The Devastation Corporation (Max Smashmaster & Blaster McMassive)
Young Lions Cup Champion: Heidi Lovelace

Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush and Leonard F. Chikarason.

UltraMantis Black vs. Mr. Azerbaijan

Prakash Sabar is in Mr. Azerbaijan’s corner. Azerbaijan shoulder blocks Mantis and pulls down his straps. Mantis overhand chops him, so he pulls the straps back up. Azerbaijan kicks Mantis to block a Mongolian chop. Mantis tornado clutches Azerbaijan for two, then gives him an atomic drop which sends him to the floor. Mantis gives him another on the floor as well as the Mongolian chops. Sabar grabs Mantis, allowing Azerbaijan to get in a couple stomps from inside the ring. He drops Mantis out of a side slam. He runs off the ropes into a pin for two. Some Road Dogg dancing goes along with some jabs. He misses a knee drop. Mantis spanks Azerbaijan a few times. Azerbaijan knocks him down in the corner. Sabar tries sneaking in a Bronco Buster, but misses. Azerbaijan gives Azerbaijan a Manhattan Drop and jackknife pins him for the win at 4:24. A five minute match based around Azerbaijan’s hurt butt? Sounds like my kind of bout. It’s exactly what you would think, but executed really well. *

You can watch this match in its entirety here.

Juan Francisco de Coronado says great intelligence has brought him great success. He will prove tonight that Oleg is inferior to him. It is scientifically proven that the banana always beats the onion in the game of chess.

Oleg the Usurper vs. Juan Francisco de Coronado

Coronado cheapshots Oleg with a hard right haymaker. He puts on a side headlock. Oleg picks him up and tosses him to the mat. Coronado tries a German suplex. Oleg uses his posterior to break free. He misses a corner splash. Coronado tries an armdrag and Oleg blocks it. He sends Coronado face first into the turnbuckles and drives his shoulder into his mid-section multiple times. He picks up momentum off the ropes before delivering a corner splash. Coronado low bridges the top rope to send Oleg outside. Coronado dropkicks him off the apron and follows with a suicide dive. Oleg tries fighting back, but ends up chopping the ring post. Oleg does get in a chop back in the ring, but Coronado dropkicks him for a two count. He backslides Oleg for another two count. Coronado gets his boot up to block Oleg’s corner attacks. He runs the ropes for a tornado DDT. Coronado forearms Oleg in his lower back, then clobbers him with a clothesline. Oleg roars, so Coronado clotheslines him again. Oleg splashes him against the ropes. Coronado screams as Oleg lifts him up for a delayed vertical suplex. Coronado comes back with an enzuigiri. Oleg responds with a backbreaker. He calls for “Off With His Head!” Coronado slips through his legs and German suplexes Oleg. Oleg kicks out. Coronado locks on the Coronado Clutch. Oleg rolls over and kicks his way out. He superkicks Coronado for the pin at 7:27! A good effort from both men and a surprise upset for Oleg. The crowd is starting to get in his favor, so I am interested to see where he stands post-Challenge of the Immortals. Speaking of the Challenge, I like that they played off Coronado pinning Oleg last month and that he got a measure of revenge. Solid storytelling. **½

Amasis says the Devastation Corporation have a thorn in CHIKARA’s side for too long. He says they have another thing coming if they think they can beat the Battle Hive. They tell the Wrecking Crew to prepare for war.

Challenge of the Immortals
Battl Hive (Amasis & The Colony (Fire Ant & Worker Ant)) vs. The Wrecking Crew (The Devastation Corporation (Max Smashmaster & Blaster McMassive) & Jaka)

McMassive shoulder blocks Amasis with ease. Amasis uses his slick maneuvering to evade some offense and dropkick McMassive to the floor. Smashmaster double axe handles Amasis from behind. Amasis ducks a punch, and hits Smashmaster until he accidentally does some of his own dancing. Jaka jumps in and dances the Carlton. Amasis cuts him off and shows him some dancing. Jaka dances back, then jabs Amasis in the throat. Fire Ant trips Jaka, then takes him to the corner with an alita. The Stop, Drop, and Roll works despite an early flub. He dropkicks Jaka and forearms him to the corner. In tags Worker Ant, who slams Jaka into an elbow drop/senton combo for two. Amasis and Worker Ant double back elbow Jaka. After some dancing they deliver a double elbow drop for two. Jaka headbutts Amasis in the chest. He accidentally chops his owen partners. Amasis baits Jaka into a high crossbody from Fire Ant. Jaka again chops his own partners by accident. The Dev Corp enter the ring angry at him. They double overhand chop Jaka, then fall victim to a high crossbody from Worker Ant. Smashmaster elbows his way out of a slam attempt and gives Worker Ant a backbreaker. The Wrecking Crew take turns wearing Worker Ant down. McMassive had a pin with the Boss Man Slam but Fire Ant broke it up. Amasis entered and helped Fire Ant send the Wrecking Crew to the floor. Amasis and Fire Ant hit stereo tope con hilo’s on McMassive and Jaka. In the ring, Amasis avoids some of Jaka’s kicks but takes a jab to the throat. Amasis counters the Jumanji Bomb with a Frankensteiner. A rolling forearm and knee strike lead to a spike DDT. McMassive boots down Amasis. Fire Ant peppers McMassive with palm thrusts to the chest. He tries a DDT. McMassive looks to counter but Fire Ant turns it into a small package for two. McMassive ducks the Yahtzee Kick and lifts up Fire Ant into a sit-out powerbomb for two. McMassive picks him up. Fire Ant counters with Burning Down the House. The Yahtzee kick connects for two. The Colony deliver the Ants Marching dropkick. Smashmaster stops Worker Ant from going for the pin with a powerslam. Worker Ant shoots him into the ropes. Jaka kicks Worker Ant’s leg out, causing Smashmaster to fall on top of him for a two count. Jaka drops a running elbow. He superkicks Worker Ant into a brainbuster from Smashmaster. Worker Ant kicks out. Fire Ant takes Smashmaster off the second rope with a Frankensteiner. Jaka turns Fire Ant inside out with a clothesline. Amasis nails Jaka with a tornado enzuigiri. Smashmaster dropkicks Amasis. Worker Ant muscles up Smashmaster for a bodyslam! Smashmaster kicks out, so Worker Ant looks for the CHIKARA Special. Jaka stops him with a spin kick. The Devastation Corporation give Worker Ant the Death Blow for the pin at 15:33. Good action from both teams. It was nice to see some personality from Jaka who in many ways stole the proverbial show. He and Amasis I think could have a very good singles match. Worker Ant is coming along. ***

Chuck Taylor says he rode The Swamp Monster across the ocean to England. The Swamp Monster thinks the Batiri look silly, and is also undefeated in the UK. Taylor claims the Batiri are going to die.

Challenge of the Immortals
The Arcane Horde (Obariyon & Kodama) vs. The Gentleman’s Club (Chuck Taylor & The Swamp Monster)

Obariyon tries a shoulder block. Taylor gives him one back. Obariyon snaps off a Frankensteiner and clobbers Taylor with a flying back elbow. Taylor takes a powder in the crowd. Monster sends Kodama to the ropes with a headscissors. Taylor blind tags in. Taylor gives him a stomp. Kodama Manhattan drops Taylor into a dropkick from Obariyon. The Batiri land some offense in the corner. The Monster prevents Taylor from hitting the turnbuckle. Taylor hits Kodama with a running knee strike. He chokes Kodama with his knee and gives him a bodyslam. The Swamp Monster assists with his beatdown on Kodama while Taylor encourages him to cheat. He doesn’t, which makes Taylor upset. Kodama avoids a moonsault and drops Kodama with a spinebuster. Obariyon tags in and nails Taylor with some clotheslines and chops. He drop toe holds Taylor onto the middle rope and knee strikes him in the back of the head. Taylor comes back with Sole Food. Kodama Jon Woo dropkicks him to the corner. Some more dropkicks in the corner follow. Monster stops Obariyon’s pin attempt. Obariyon throws him off. Taylor avoids a corner attack from Kodama. He belly-to-belly suplexes Obariyon onto Kodama for a two count on Obariyon. Obariyon dropkicks Taylor to the floor and suicide dives after him. He climbs to the top rope. Monster crotches him and hangs him in the tree of woe. Monster double stomps him off the top out of the tree of woe! Taylor accidentally hits the Monster from the apron. The Monster falls into the Seventh Circle for the pin at 10:09. If you don’t love the Swamp Monster, just get out of here. The wrestling was good, the antics were amusing, and the Batiri looked really strong. Not much to complain about. **½

Silver Ant vs. Soldier Ant

Silver Ant is replacing Eddie Kingston. The former partners trade holds to start, reaching a stalemate. Silver Ant grabs a hammerlock. Soldier Ant tosses him over, looking for a pin. He looks for a Dragon sleeper, but Silver Ant trips him into an ankle lock. Soldier Ant grabs the ropes to escape. Silver Ant shoulder blocks him down. Soldier Ant tries a leapfrog and Silver Ant rolls him up before taking him over with an armdrag. Silver Ant tries a cross armbreaker. Soldier Ant links his hands together, but Silver Ant is able to grab a short arm scissor. After some positioning, Soldier Ant breaks free and forearms Silver Ant in the face. They armdrag one another, then reach another stalemate when they evade one another’s attacks. Soldier Ant boots down Silver Ant in the corner. He snapmares him into a chinlock. While Silver Ant tries to escape he switches to a side headlock. Silver Ant knee strikes his way free. Soldier Ant rolls towards Silver Ant to close the distance, but Silver Ant is able to try the short-arm scissors. Soldier Ant blocks it and dropkicks Silver Ant away. Silver Ant chops Soldier Ant and locks on the Cloverleaf. Soldier Ant gets the ropes. Silver Ant slams Soldier Ant into a legdrop for two. Soldier Ant enzuigiri’s Soldier Ant to the corner. He catches Soldier Ant with a tiger feint kick and a knee strike to the face. He places Soldier Ant on the middle turnbuckle. Soldier Ant forearms him away. Silver Ant avoids a sleeper, so Soldier Ant dropkicks him to the floor and suicide dives after him. Soldier Ant brings him back into the ring. Silver Ant pump kicks Soldier Ant back to the floor and lands his own suicide dive. In the ring, Silver Ant double springboards in with a double stomp. Soldier Ant tries a Koppu Kick. Silver Ant captures Soldier Ant with a cross armbreaker mid-move. Soldier Ant puts his foot on the bottom rope. Silver Ant gives him a Blue Thunder Bomb and goes back to the arm. Once again Soldier Ant gets his legs on the ropes. Soldier Ant throws some strikes to Silver Ant’s face. He stuffs him with the Northern Lights Bomb. He puts on a cross-legged bodyscissors. Silver Ant valiantly fights his way to the bottom rope. Silver Ant tries yelling some sense into Soldier Ant, even saluting at him. That makes Soldier Ant angry, as he kicks Silver Ant back to the corner and rocks him with forearms. He ascends to the top rope. Silver Ant brings him down with a superplex. He hits the frogsplash for two. They trade forearms back on their feet. Silver Ant lands an enzuigiri. Silver Ant headbutts him. Soldier Ant grabs him by the antennae. Silver Ant throws a succession of headbutts. Bryce has to break them apart since Soldier Ant laid on the ropes. This gives Soldier Ant a moment to lock on the sleeper hold. Silver Ant passes out and Bryce calls for the bell at 16:23. As one would expect, this was excellent. Each has a mastery for counter wrestling and incorporated that with the emotion that their particular story carries, but not to the point of being a burden on the action or outcome. It was smartly executed and fun to watch. ***¼

Dasher Hatfield says his team is already off to a hot start in the Challenge of the Immortals. Angelosetti shows off his muscles doing curls. Hatfield says they need to get their heads in the game as they have the Nightmare Warriors in the ring tonight. Icarus tells them that Hallowicked is all his. Hatfield acquiesces to this proclamation. All three men flex for the camera.

Challenge of the Immortals
Dasher’s Dugout (Icarus & The Throwbacks (Dasher Hatfield & ‘Mr. Touchdown’ Mark Angelosetti)) vs. The Nightmare Warriors (Hallowicked, Frightmare & Blind Rage)

Icarus and Hallowicked look to start, but Rage is tagged in before they make contact. Rage armdrags Icarus to the corner and takes him over with a hip toss. He lands a running clothesline in the corner. Icarus rolls through a slam off the top rope. He armdrags Rage twice and lands a dropkick. He whips Rage to the corner. The Throwbacks and Icarus all attack him. Icarus misses. Frightmare and Rage clothesline him. Icarus avoids an attack from Hallowicked. Frightmare and Rage jump Icarus who is too focused on Hallowicked. They put on double top wristlocks, which Icarus breaks by flipping into double Japanese armdrags. He clotheslines them both. Frightmare snapmares out of a hammerlock from Angelosetti. Angelosetti sunset flips Frightmare out of a blocked fireman’s carry. He picks up Frightmare out of a cradle, but Frightmare turns it mid-air into a side headlock. The Throwbacks try a double hip toss. Frightmare flips out and dropkicks them both. Hallowicked tries throwing Angelosetti to the corner. Hatfield assists him, allowing Angelosetti to come off the second rope with a shoulder tackle. The Throwbacks double hip toss Rage. Hatfield drop toe holds Frightmare into the Romero Special. Angelosetti bulldogs Frightmare out of it. Hallowicked breaks the cover. Hatfield slides under a leapfrog and smacks his buttocks. He snaps off a pair of armdrags and a double wrist clutch drag. Hatfield slingshots in with an Oklahoma Roll. Hallowicked rolls through, turning it into a cravate. Angelosetti grabs an ankle lock, leading to a submission chain. Frightmare breaks it with a top rope dropkick. The Warriors throw Angelosetti and Icarus to the floor so that they can work over Hatfield in their half of the ring. Hatfield escapes with his cyclone neckbreaker on Frightmare. Angelosetti uses a series of clotheslines and back elbows on Hallowicked. Rage knees him from the apron. Angelosetti shoves Hallowicked into Rage, then suplexes Rage in from the apron. Angelosetti gives Hallowicked a spinebuster into Rage. Frightmare gets popped up for a modified spinebuster. Hatfield maneuvers Frightmare onto Rage and Hallowicked’s shoulders, then suicide dives onto all three of them. Icarus lands a Shiranui on Rage back in the ring for two. He goes for the Wings of Icarus. Rage counters with a Northern Lights suplex. Icarus escapes a corner charge. The Throwbacks drop Rage with the 3D for two. Frightmare eats one as well. Hallowicked pitches Angelosetti into the ring post. He hits Hatfield with a running forearm strike. Hatfield side steps an attack and hits a slingshot back suplex. Rage shoulder blocks Hatfield in the stomach before landing a reverse suplex. Angelosetti drops Rage with the Flea Flicker. Frightmare hits Kneecolepsy on Angelosetti. Icarus picks up Frightmare and gives him the Blu-Ray. Hallowicked cracks him with a step-up enzuigiri and a yakuza kick. The Rydeen Bomb is good for the pin at 16:51. This was a big win for Hallowicked as he and Icarus will fight for the Grand Championship in three days. This was action packed and a lot of fun. The match moved very smoothly and it went by quite quickly. Everybody looked strong, especially Angelosetti who deserves way more love than he gets. ***½

Challenge of the Immortals Leaderboard
The Wrecking Crew: 2 Points
The Arcane Horde: 2 Points
Dasher’s Dugout: 1 Point
The United Nations: 1 Point
The Snake Pit: 1 Point
The Nightmare Warriors: 1 Point
The Gentleman’s Club: 0 Points
The BDK: 0 Points
Battle Hive: 0 Points
Crown & Court: 0 Points

6.5

The final score: review Average

The 411

Good stuff overall. There's no match that stands out as being particularly exceptional, but it's well rounded wrestling from top to bottom. The last two matches are worth checking out individually, and if you like butt humor, the opener you can watch for free online.