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411’s NWA TNA Report 11.19.03

November 19, 2003 | Posted by Jack Daniels

NWA TNA Wrestling — 11/19/03

— TNA Recapper Jack Daniels here. Last week, I tried to pass myself off as Peter Abelard. Unfortunately, more 411 readers know about 12th century philosophers whose biggest claim to fame is being castrated for deflowering the king’s daughter than know about 20th century African leaders. So, the jig is up. My name, quite clearly, is Saburo Ienaga.

— Once again, due to work considerations, I’m picking this up in progress. Pithy comments about goings-on in my life will be skipped.

— HA! You didn’t really believe that, did you? Despite the best efforts of Fucking Radmanovic and The Ricky Davis Experience, The Samurai Cadaver Dogs are 3-0 going into this week’s game against The Goldbergs. No word on if any of my players have any concussions from getting kicked in the head.

— Work is starting to agitate me on a few levels. Advice to all managers out there: If you want to have the power to make decisions over who works for you and who doesn’t, and want what you say to be taken as law in your place of business, you can’t be dipping your stick into the hired help. Period. Nothing tears apart a workplace quicker than sexual politics.

— Oh, and for those who didn’t understand it, I was just kind of running with Grut’s joke (and he was joking) from his last column and spoofing movie ads. You know, the ones where a reviewer might write “This movie, which claims to be an ambitious dramatic undertaking, is really a steaming pile of horseshit” and the ad guys say the reviewers called the movie “an ambitious dramatic undertaking!” It’s all about context, people. Now stop flaming him. Well, stop flaming him for that reason, at least.

— Memo to boss Widro: Where the hell is that html tester again?

— Recap of last week’s angles: Sting helps AJ Styles get an upset win over Lex Luger, but Abyss planted AJ Styles with a Black Hole Slam post match. Raven and the Sandman took out the Redshirts, but Legend interfered on behalf of the Redshirts, which brought out Erik Watts so we could book our garbage match of the week for this week. Sonjay Dutt and Christopher Daniels advanced to the finals of the Triple Chance invitational, and X laid a big ass postmatch beatdown on them both. 3 Live Kru won the 5 team Royal Rumble to determine the top contenders, but only after David Young and Glen Gilberti made sure America’s Most Wanted wouldn’t win.

— Interview with the Redshirts, Callis and Jarrett. Jarrett accuses Jimmy Hart of trying to get all of TNA against him. The Redshirts need to take care of Raven, Abyss is supposed to take out AJ Styles, and Jarrett is praying Hogan shows up tonight.

— And we’re ON A 7-SECOND TAPE DELAY from the TNA Monster Truck Pit in Nashville, TN. And completely live from the 3-room pit in Buffalo, NY.

— Opening Match: Clockwork Orange House of Fun: Redshirt Security (Legend, Ryan Wilson and Kevin Northcutt) vs. Erik Watts, Raven and Sandman: They’ve got some good cage dancers tonight. No beer blast during Sandman’s entrance, and Raven’s the only one to get a full entrance video. Brawling to start, and I imagine it will continue for a while. Raven and Watts go for the trashcan’s immediately, Sandman hits a springboard plancha off a chair out of the ring. Sandman on Wilson, Watts taking it to Northcutt, and Raven’s already busted Legend open. Raven with three trashcan shots on Legend. Sandman has busted Wilson open, apparently with nothing more remarkable than left hands. Raven uses a plunger on Northcutt, and NOW Sandman busts out the beers. Sandman gets a gaggle of chairs together as Legend makes a comeback on Raven. Northcutt goes low on Watts and Wilson did the same to Sandman. Heels in control now, and Wilson with a brutal_ cookie sheet shot. on Sandman. Heels just pounding on the faces, Watts is busted open, and Legend’s got some handcuffs. Redshirts triple powerbomb Sandman on about 3 chairs, Northcutt takes down Raven with a big boot. Raven goes low on Legend as Wilson tries to handcuff Watts. Raven handcuffs Watts and Wilson together around the post, so neither can move. Legend and Northcutt are arguing in the ring, and Raven and Sandman sneak up with stereo chairshots. Watts goes low on Wilson and all six men are down, and here comes Goldilocks. Wilson grabs her by the throat, but Watts rams Wilson into the post and Goldilocks frees Watts. Faces back in charge, Sandman with a trashcan shot on Northcutt. Sandman drops onto Ryan Wilson’s arm with a legdrop. Watts with a chokeslam, then Sandman with kendo stick shots all around. Raven Effect on Wilson, and that’s the end! WINNERS: Erik Watts, Raven and Sandman.

— Tenay and West at ringside as we start the merchandise shill early tonight. West in midnight blue, for those betting on it. D-Lo bobblehead, AMW T-shirt, TNA DVD’s, ladda ladda ladda. Tenay runs down the night’s show. Simon and Swinger versus 3 Live Kru, X-Division Triple Chance Tournament Finals, Abyss vs. AJ Styles.

— Tenay interview with AJ Styles. AJ says he’s heard all his life that he can’t compete, but he’s always proved his doubters wrong. And he’s already beaten Jarrett, and beaten Luger. AJ says he’s not worried about Raven. Tenay calls Abyss the biggest physical challenge of AJ Styles’ career, and AJ says tonight is just about survival.

— X-Division match: Kid Kash vs. Shark Boy: Lockup to start, top wristlock by Kash switched to a Shark Boy hammerlock, takedowns exchanged, then back to where we started. Shoves exchanged. Wristlock by Kash, Shark Boy reverse to a hammerlock. Several reversals and Kash finally breaks the hammerlock with an armdrag. Nice series of corner reversals, Shark Boy counters a flying bodypress with an armdrag, then hits a clothesline. Kash tries to dump Shark Boy, but Kash gets dumped and jumped on. Kash tries to do a shoulderblock from the apron, but a Shark Boy knee gets 2. Kash drops Shark Boy’s neck across the rope and hits a clothesline for 2. Shark Boy rollup for 2. Kash with a crappy looking Ki Krusher for 2. WOOOOOOOO chop, then Shark Boy reverses an Irish Whip. Kash tries to go up top, but Shark Boy hurricanranas him down and both men are on the mat. Shark Boy with a neckbreaker for 2, then he rams Kash into the corner, then with mounted punches and the Shark Bite. Shark Boy counters an Irish whip with a tornado bulldog from the corner for 2. Shark Boy goes for the Deep Sea Drop, but Kash goes low and hits a moonsault for two. Shark Boy rolls throough a powerbomb attempt, and a couple of reversals lead to a Money Maker (double underhook piledriver) for the win! WINNER: Kid Kash. Kash goes for the unmasking, the Blackshirts try to stop it, but Kash fights them off, until Heavy D comes from the back. Kash gets right up in his face, then slaps him. Harris hits a few punches, then Kash bails and Heavy D gives chase.

— Cut to the back with Simon and Swinger with Hudson. Gilberti says Simon and Swinger have no problems. David Young breaks into the interview, and says he has a match with Chris Sabin, and Simon, Swinger and Gilberti are pissed he’s taking their interview time. Kash runs through the interview.

— Tag Team Match: Sonny Siaki and Ekmo Fatu w/Trinity vs. The Gathering (CM Punk and Julio Dinero): Trinity looking extra hot tonight. Siaki and Dinero to start. Siaki with a get to the gut to take control right away. Dinero reverses an Irish whip and hits an elbow, then counters an Irish whip and tags CM Punk. Punk with a leg lariat on Siaki, then Siaki ducks a clothesline and hits a pretty stiff half-nelson suplex. Dinero in, and Siaki puts him down and tags Ekmo. Ekmo shrugs off some punches from Julio, but eats a boot on an idiot charge. Ekmo catches a bodypress attempt and slams Dinero, then drops a leg for 2 as Punk makes the save. Big clothesline by Ekmo, and he teases letting Dinero tag before cutting it off. Headbutt by Fatu and Siaki is in. Double Sky High gets 2. Stomps by Siaki. Dinero tries to kick Siaki from his back. Irish whip on Julio, big avalanche by Ekmo, but he misses a pump splash and Dinero makes the tag. Punk with a shining wizard on Siaki then a tornado DDT on Ekmo. Sideslam/elbow combo gets 2 on Siaki. Ekmo in with a double clothesline and a superkick. Trinity goes to get a chair, then refuses to give it to Siaki, allowing the Gathering to hit a double dropkick on Ekmo for the win! WINNERS: The Gathering. Trinity leaves in a huff.

— Hudson in the back with Don Callis and the Redshirts. Kevin Northcutt challenges Raven to a one-on-one match. Callis says Raven got lucky tonight, and AJ Styles is out of luck.

— Singles match: David Young w/Glen Gilberti (reluctantly) vs. Chris Sabin: I love lollipops. I wish I was that lollipop. Sabin dropkicks Gilberti off the apron right away and rolls up David Young for the win??????? WINNER: Chris Sabin. Gilberti protests the bell never ring. The timekeeper may be the fattest man I’ve ever seen. Gilberti appeals to Sabin’s pride, and the match is restarted. Sabin tries to sunset flip into the ring, Young cuts him off with an elbow, but a springboard dropkick by Sabin gets 2. Young with a go-behind and a nice German suplex, then a jumping clothesline. Hard Irish whip puts Sabin down. Gilberti: “Focus, focus! Or whatever.” Young hits the chinlock. Sabin fights out, Young reverses an irish whip, but Sabin floats over and hotshots Young. Gilberti tries to interfere, but Sabin puts him down. Sabin tries a sunset flip, Gilberti tries to keep Young from going over, but the ref kicks his hands away and Sabin gets the win. WINNER: Chris Sabin (redux)

— 3 Live Kru with Scott Hudson. Didn’t understand a damn word except for “tossing salad.” AMW breaks into the interview and says whoever wins has to deal with them. The Truth says “don’t write checks your ass can’t cash.”

— Tenay and West go over the “John Boy and Billy” angle. Hart talking about Jarrett going over to Japan. Notice how the gate from that match in Japan goes up by about 5,000 people every week? They start talking about the Florida incident, and Jarrett busts in. Some fat ass tries to break it up, and Jarrett slaps him and takes him down. I mean orca fat. I mean “Will Sasso back when he was funny” fat.

— Cut to Tenay in the ring, and he introduces Jimmy Hart. Jimmy comes out to the ring, and sucks up to the fans immediately. Hart thanks Raven and AJ Styles for helping them out the last couple of weeks. Hart talks about the radio angle briefly. Date for Bound for Glory will be set within a week apparently. Hart says he has another surprise for Jarrett tonight, then he brings up the “Why?” question again, and of course, that brings out Jarrett, looking surly. “Hogan” chant. Jarrett says Hart is asking “Why?”, and Jarrett’s asking “When?” and “Where?” and no one’s getting any answers. Jarrett says Hart had better tell him who the surprise is, or he’s going to get another belt whipping. Hart says bring it, Jarrett tries to chase, and Tenay gets in Jarrett’s face. Jarrett threatens Tenay, Hart saves, then Jarrett almost gets Hart, and here comes AJ Styles! Big pop for that. Springboard dropkick and a DDT, then Jarrett bails. Jarrett/Styles rematch on December 3.

— Tracy Brooks in lingerie. Never a bad thing. More hype for the new Franchise.

— NWA Tag Team championship match: 3 Live Kru (BG James and Ron “The Truth” Killings) w/Konnan and worst theme music ever vs. Simon and Swinger w/Glen Gilberti: Seriously, the music is so bad these guys get no reaction from the crowd. Konnan does his shtick. This is Simon and Swinger’s third title defense in three months. Borash with boxing style introductions, which I always dig. I order a sub during the intros, then realize I’m missing my wallet. BG James and Simon Diamond to start. Stalling from both sides, then a lock up in the center. Arm twist to a hammerlock by Simon, then he takes down James and works the arm. Another arm twist, but a right hand by James causes Simon to bail and make a tag. Swinger with a leg take down, and then he works the arm. Irish whip, reversed, and a kick to the face. Tag to the Truth, and a double hiptoss and soul shake elbow. Swinger with a kneelift, then an irish whip, but Truth reverses and hits a powerslam. Then an arm wringer by the Truth, turned into a takedown and a modified Rings of Saturn. Tag to BG James, and a double arm twist and punch. Kneelift by Swinger, then James ducks a clothesline and hits the dancing punches. Irish whip into the corner, then James eats a boot on an idiot charge. Swinger distracts the ref, and Simon runs him into the post and rams his arm against it. Legal tag to Simon and he pounds on James in the corner. James gains control again, and tries to tag, then Simon hits an armbreaker and tags Swinger. Armbar by Swinger, then he pulls James up and wraps the arm around the rope. More pounding in the corner, then a choke on the middle rope. Konnan stalking Gilberti on the outside. James tries to fight back with his right arm, but he eats an elbow on an idiot charge and a superkick by Diamond gets two. Simon cinches in an armbar. James struggles to his feet and gets out with a couple of rights. Simon with an irish whip, ducks too early on a backdrop and eats a boot, then a double clothesline and both men tag. The Truth is in and (cue NBA Jam audio) HE’S ON FIRE! Spinning elbow on Simon, but Swinger gains control, Truth floats over on an idiot charge attempt, and Swinger walks into a lift and side kick combo for 2. Twisting ax kick gets 2, but Gilberti pulls the ref out, and Konnan starts to dry hump Gilberti. German suplex by The Truth. A second ref comes out. And 3 LK wins… or do they? Apparently, we have the crappy ass double pin finish and the belts are held up.
Shiest.

— Recap of the X-Division Triple Chance Invitational and X destroying the cruisers, including Sonjay Dutt and Christopher Daniels, his opponents for the number one contendership tonight.

— Triple Chance Invitational Finals: Sonjay Dutt vs. Christopher Daniels vs. X: Perhaps tellingly, Daniels gets introduced last. This is triple threat rules. Daniels gets Dutt to agree to go after X, then lets Dutt charge him and get destroyed. Then he orders another charge, and ducks a clothesline while Dutt gets buried. Dutt recovers and hits a double spinning headscissors on X. Dutt tries to celebrate, but Daniels knees him, then rams Dutt into X and gets a rollup on X for 2. Daniels slams Dutt on X two more times, using Dutt as a weapon. Daniels tries to use Dutt as a ram again, but X catches him and tosses him on Daniels, then drops on elbow on Daniels. Clothesline on Daniels, big boot on X. The Franchise out scouting again. X flips out of a double back suplex and backdrops both guys, then whips Dutt into Daniels. Bellringer splashes on both guys. X looking quite impressive. Dutt with a leapfrog, then Daniels with a kick and they toss X. Dutt tries for a plancha, but X just catches him and puts him back in the ring. Daniels with a kick and a split legged moonsault on X, then a twisting springboard plancha. X is down, and Daniels throws Dutt in. Dutt counters a flapjack with a dropkick, then spins into an octopus hold, but Daniels struggles to the ropes and both guys are out… and X with a running senton plancha!!!! FOR THE PISSING PUKING LOVE OF GOD! X tosses Daniels back in, then hits a sloppy hurricanrana from the top rope for 2. X with a pumphandle powerbomb, but Dutt makes the save. X tries to whip Dutt into Daniels, but Dutt floats over, Daniels throws Dutt onto X and dropkicks them down for 2. X backdrops out of angel wings, but Dutt dropkicks him down for 2. X turns a Dutt hurricanrana attempt into a powerbomb. X with a choke on Dutt. Daniels with an STO and three double jump moonsaults for 2 as Sonjay breaks it up. Dutt with a standing shooting star for 2. Dutt puts Daniels down, then X counters a spinning headscissors with a reverse powerbomb. Daniels with a couple of rollups… folks, this is a hell of a match. X with a chokeslam powerbomb, but Dutt breaks of the pin on Daniels at 2. X going for the package piledriver, but Dutt comes off the top with a hurricanrana pin for the win! WINNER: Sonjay Dutt. Shane talks trash to Dutt on the ramp post-match. Hell of a fucking match.

— West shills for next week. 3 Live Kru vs. Simon, Swinger and Gilberti for the belts. X Division Championship. We hear from Roddy Piper. And Raven interrupts, and makes his match a handicap match, Raven vs. Northcutt and Legend. “Jeff Jarrett, I think ya hear me knockin’, and I think I’m comin’ in.”

— AJ Styles vs. Abyss package. And a very nicely done one at that.

— Main Event: Abyss w/Don Callis vs. AJ Styles: Styles with a running clothesline and a running senton plancha as we start fast. AJ with some punchy kicky, but Abyss pushes him off, then pushes him up, Styles balances on the middle rope and tries an Asai moonsault, but Abyss rams him into the apron. then the steps and the guardrail. Styles in an amazing spot, counters an irish whip into the guardrail by baseball sliding UNDER it, then springs up and hurricanranas Abyss. Back in the ring, AJ leapfrogs Abyss and dropkicks him for _barely_ one. Abyss whips AJ into the corner, then eats a boot on an idiot charge. Abyss recovers quickly with a Gorilla Press, then a running clothesline. Abyss pounding on AJ, then choking him. “Let’s go AJ” chant. AJ moves out of the way of an idiot charge, and a springboard bodypress gets 2. AJ tries that damn floatover Irish whip counter, but Abyss makes him pay with a reverse powerbomb for 2. Abyss rams AJ’s head into the corner, then hits a stiff open head slap to the chest, then another one. Crowd actually pretty hot for AJ, and he fights back with chops of his own. AJ grabs the ropes to avoid the big boot, then lands on the apron as Abyss tried to dump him, but Callis distracts him and Abyss knocks him down into the guardrail. AJ’s showing some color, and Abyss rams him into the steps. Abyss pounding AJ outside the ring as Callis encourages him. AJ trying to crawl up on Abyss, but Abyss hammers him back down. Abyss side slam gets 2. Abyss with an angry stomp, and he goes to the middle rope, but AJ moves out of the way of the splash! AJ ducks a clothesline and an elbow, but gets caught with a boot. AJ counters a powerbomb with a faceslam, then a headscissors takedown and a kick, and AJ goes up top, but Abyss moves the ref into the way of AJ’s missile dropkick. The ref is out as AJ somersault dropkicks Abyss, then somersaults into a reverse DDT. Springboard splash by AJ, but the ref is still out. Callis throws in a chair, and Abyss labels AJ with it. The ref recovers… and it only gets 2!!!! Abyss tosses the ref, which probably means a DQ. Abyss puts AJ up top and puts a chair in the ring. Styles fights him off, and sunset flip powerbombs him on the chair! Rudi Charles races in from the back, but it gets only two. Styles setting up the chair in the corner. Abyss stops an Irish whip attempt and goes for a powerbomb, but Styles flips over into a sunset flip, and Abyss counters by catapulting AJ into the chair. Sit out Torture Rack… gets 2???? Crowd is chanting AJ, and I’m sucked in as well. Abyss takes out official No. 2 with a Black Hole Slam. AJ with a chairshot, but Abyss grabs him by the throat and goes for the chokeslam, but Styles rolls him up for the win!!!! WINNER: AJ Styles. Redshirts come in for a post match beatdown, but Styles slides under the ropes and tries to escape, but Jarrett is there with a beltshot. AJ rolled back in, and a Black Hole Slam on AJ, then Jarrett with a Stroke… and here comes Raven! Raven’s a house of fire, and he takes out the heels until Abyss puts him down… and Jimmy Hart’s surprise is Dusty Rhodes. Well, he’s hitting about 50% on his surprises, IMO. Sting and Rick Steiner, good. Hacksaw Duggan and Dusty Rhodes, bad. Rhodes and Jarrett next week in a lumberjack match… with the lumberjacks chosen by the fans. I vote for the cage dancers. Hell, if they were the lumberjacks, I’d spend the entire match outside the ring, and they could whip me as much as I damn well please.

— And that takes us out… Show started slow, but picked up real nice. And not a single serious production flub this week! Solid.

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