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411’s TNA Impact Report 03.01.17
Image Credit: Impact Wrestling
Hello and welcome everyone to 411mania’s Official TNA Impact Wrestling Report. Tonight is the final show of the pre-Anthem era. Let’s look at Impact in 60 Seconds.
On this episode, we will have the end of the Expedition of Gold as The Broken Hardys conclude their quest to become the best in all of space and time. Drew Galloway will make his final appearance for the company as he defends his belt. And Jade meets Rosemary in her final fight, Last Woman Standing for the Knockouts Title. In addition, Josh Barnett challenges Lashley for the World Heavyweight Championship, and Trevor Lee defends his X-Division Title against Andrew Everett.
Who knows what else will happen. Your card is subject to change, match times are not exact. Let’s start the show.
Enter the Lashley (Backstage Angle, Other)
Rosemary vs Jade
Last Woman Standing, Knockouts Title Match
They go to clubberin Tony!
Brawl on the ramp it’s Red and Blue in the blacklight as heads get a slammed into the apron, SUICIDE DIVE from Jade!
Ever notice no one ever dies on those things? Misnomer.
Jade for the Package no Rosemary with the reverse, fireman’s carry no Jade able to get the German and Earl Hebner begins the count. Ten Second Count to win.
Jade AGAIN and German once again, Earl with the count.
Dropkick to Rosemary to send her outside but the Demon Assassin knocks off Jade mid dive with a forearm. Rosemary sends in the trashcan, she has the kendo stick.
Jade crawling around as Rosemary runs and attacks with kicks and clubbing shots, forearm to the face and screaming for brevity. The Knockouts Champ stays in control, flying Avalanche Forearm and Jade wrapped in the legs it’s the Tarantula!
The fans chant “JADE!” as Rosemary bangs the can across her head. Once again and Jade talked shit but got hit, can in the face and now between her legs. Rosemary up top for the Van Terminator- SHE HITS IT!!
Count began for both bit Jade is up and kicks the attack, palm strikes on the Champ and Jade for the stick- Orlando approves and Jade slices down into her back, striking her rival then serves up a side of kick to the face!
Leather sole to cheekbone and Jade has her up,
POWERBOMB INTO THE TRASH CAN.
The count begins…
Rosemary up at 9, Jade up top, off NO LEAPS INTO THE MIST!
Rosemary has her up, RED WEDDING! The rack facebuster and Jade is down, she cannot find her bearings, Rosemary waiting as Jade grabs the ropes to help herself up!
She can’t find her opponent and ROSEMARY elbow to the jaw of her challenger, Rosemary has her on the floor and RED WEDDING FACE INTO FLOOR.
Earl begins the count at ringside, Jade for the apron, she tries to pull herself up, Jade is up! she has the post, Rosemary charges down the ramp and Jade moves to let her strike the pole!
Rosemary is on the apron and Jade wipes her eyes with water, she spits the rest into Rosemary! Has the legs and POWERBOMB ON THE STEPS!!
Earl giving a count, Rosemary makes it up at 9!
Jade with kicks and strikes, the Demon on her knees, Jade for the strike and Jade for the powerbomb ROSEMARY SPITS IN HER FACE! Green Mist once again and RED WEDDING ON THE RAMP!!!
Rosemary is up! She will retain! Thank You Jade!
OFFICIAL RESULT: Rosemary at 11:12, Red Wedding
At House Hardy, Broken Matt has assembled his family. He brings Brother Nero to his personal zoo. Now that Nero possesses his broken brilliance, he must communicate with the soul of Vincent Van Gogh which is apparently inside an Obsolete Mule. This should be delightful!
Moose calls out Cody
Moose calls out Cody, running him down and Cody attacks the man from behind! They brawl all over the ring as Security get involved and they dispatch them with the quickness!
Moose clotheslines Cody out of the ring and Security and agents and wrestlers rush out to pull them apart, finally Brandi gets in her husband’s face. Cody backs off, and then he hiptosses Josh Matthews!
MOOSE LEAPS OVER THE TOP AND CRASHES INTO EVERYONE!
James Storm vs Jesse Godderz
Jesse Godderz is fighting James Storm but I’m mad that Eli Drake jobbed to Reno Scum on the tapings so, gotta keep Tyrus protected.
Josh is taking credit for being awesome and surviving the hiptoss heard Around the Ring, as Jesse and James brawl all over. Kingston and Jesse fight outside the ring, and James once again gains control.
Jesse wraps a body scissors as Josh tells Pope he carries him to a B or maybe a C and then talks shit about Jeremy Borash.
James wrenches at the face of Godderz as Kingston gets involved again. One foot pin from James, not gonna happen. Jesse powers back with clotheslines and jumping knee to the corner, James misses the lariat and high kick to the back of the head from Jesse.
BLOCKBUSTER off the top, No.
Jesse for the powerbomb to the Adonis, but Kingston is in the ring and the Ref is distracted, Bram in the ring, and chairshot to the back of the Jesse who had James in the crab, and LAST CALL! That’s it.
OFFICIAL RESULT: James Storm at 6:19, Last Call
Andrew and Trevor go to clubberin, PELE from Andrew as the Skywalker has cleared the ring. Lee to the outside and TOPE OVER THE SIDE INTO THE X-DIVISION CHAMPEEN.
Andrew Everett to the apron, looks to the fans and BACK FLIP TOPE OVER THE SIDE CONNECTS!!
Lee begs off as ANDREW ASAI MOONSAULT OFF THE TOP TO THE FLOOR!
After the springboard, Everett is on the apron, dives over Lee and runs into the spinning crossbody from Lee! Trevor is on Everett with socks and punches, Lee tosses Everett across the ring with a high hiptoss!
Trevor Lee to the fans! They boo. Lee rushes into a forearm, Andrew jumps over Lee but eats a forearm. Lee slams the boots down into Andrew, he grabs the face and follows through with another severe strike.
Lee slams Everett and wraps the leg. No.
Lee grabs the waistband and hits the forearm, German no Andrew lands on his feet! Everett up onto the rope, over the side, and springboard dropkick! Lee holds his mouth but does not move as Andrew kips up and he works the fans!
Forearms from Everett to bounce Lee around the ring, Everett lands the enzugiri and then FRANKENSTEINER drives the man down on his head!
Helms has the official to distract him and Everett chases him away, he goes to the very top, SHOOTING STAR INTO THE KNEES!!
OFFICIAL RESULT: Trevor Lee at 7:08, Handful of Tights
Jeff Hardy is in the pasture, seeking out Vincent Van Gogh among the obsolete mules and he is interrupted by the Dali Llama. He finally feeds the right one and has a potent Premoneetion! He and the entire Hardy family will be outnumbered! Nero eats the mule feed!
They gather around Vanguard One and teleport to their destiny!
They have been teleported to a Market of Fleas! At least the Seven Deities didn’t land them in a Bingo Hall. They must procure tag team gold! Jeffervescence has told Brother Nero the Champions must be close!
Backstage Senor Benjamin tases the Appalchian Outlaws! The promoters have got to put the Hardys in the tag team title match! They don’t have enough to pay them, but Nero says MONEY IS FOR MARKS.
The match is made! PROCURE THE GOLD!
The Hardys vs The Ecktourage
MCW Tag Team Title Match
After some fighting, the Applachian Outlaws drag Brother Nero backstage and attack with sundry plunder! Inside the ring, The Ecktourage are beating on Broken Matt!
Senor Benjamin arrives to save Jeff from Bo & Cody, chasing them out of the building with roman candles. Inside the ring Matt surives Chapel and Money with Nero returning to put the Twist of Fate!
During a press conference they teleport out of our dreams.
Backstage, Moose is recovering, and Drew Galloway tells him to relax. He says he’s been traveling to make his title bigger than any other belt in the world. He’s going to give Moose his shot tonight. Drew says he won’t make him go right away, he’ll give him like five, ten minutes.
We review the wedding of Laurel Van Ness and Braxton Sutter, the saga leading up to and its explosive conclusion. Mkenzie Mitchell finds Laurel Van Ness drunken and wallowing in her misery. Still in her wedding dress, Van Ness announces she hates Allie and Sutter. Well this is going to be a thing so.
Drew Galloway vs Moose
Grand Championship Title Match
Both men brawl and tear into each other, and the announcers argue more than talk about the match. Galloway takes control and manages a Celtic Cross on the steps.
Judges 9, 10, 10 Drew Galloway
Round 2
Moose rushes Drew just like Round 1 in reverse, and Moose manages a few shots, the pop up powerbomb and the senton! MOOSEAULT!!
Cover, TWOOOO.
Drew sits up and he slaps Moose who dropkicks the man off the top. Galloway spends time outside and Drew picks the leg to send the man’s face into the apron. He hits a Death Valley Driver onto the apron!
(The hardest part of the ring)
MOOSE with the powerbomb on the apron edge!
(Yes the hardest part of the ring.)
Judges 10, 9, 19 Moose
Double Boots to kick off Round Three and each other in the face.
Drew into Moose and on the attack to sit the man up on top. Moose hangs Drew in the tree of woe, and Drew manages a rana reversal! Claymore TURNBUCKLE POWERBOMB BY MOOSE!
GAME CHANGER BY MOOSE!
1 2 DREW has his foot on the rope!
Ref tied up, low blow and CLAYMORE from Drew!
TOMBSTONE NOOOO! MOOSE KICKED OUT!
Moose for the Future Shock, no he blocks, they begin trading shot after shot and Moose nails his Moose Jab Combo, takes a kick and Drew nails the Claymore
MOOSE GAME CHANGER!!!
The round is over! We await the judges’ decision!
Judge 1: Drew Galloway
Judge 2: Moose!
Judge 3: MOOSE!!
OFFICIAL RESULT: Moose at split decision
Drew Galloway takes up a judge by his tie, and pitches his chair up the ramp! Drew Galloway has been wronged for the final time.
Lashley vs Josh Barnett
World Title Match
Both face off, Barnett to take Lashley down and he has he head no they grapple to the ropes, stand up and Josh again for the armbar but Lashley able to work free.
Lashley with the wrap and lock, Barnett pulls free and unleashes kicks and spinning heel kick both men again into the ropes as Barnett for the lock. standing armbar, Lashley for the full nelson and slam!
Cover, no.
Back from commerciale, and Lashley leaps to sit on Josh’s back. Choke in the corner, and the World Champion hammers with forearms to the face. Barnett comes back with knees and Lashley fires back.
Lashley for the cross armbreaker, no he wraps the headlock but Barnett fires back. And he runs from the corner to nail a palmstrike but Lashley hits a neckbreaker!
They brawl and roll around and brawl some more but Barnett keeps for the arm and he wraps the keylock in. Barnett for the waist, Lashley in the ropes, kick and fist, head and strike. Brian Hebner tries to get them off the ropes, and Lashley fires with kicks to the leg, the head knocks the Champ loopy!
Lashley attacks and he manages a SPEAR!
OFFICIAL RESULT: Lashley at 10:20, Spear
Thank you everyone for joining in, we will see you next time here on TNA’s Official Report. Look for Larry’s Review, and always be a fan. Thanks again.
