411’s TNA Impact Report 07.06.06

LAST WEEK on Impact:

Christian Cage makes his way to the ring, I’d venture that he has something to say.

Cage: Apparently there will be a meeting tonight. I don’t want to wait and listen to that political BS. Sting, I have something to say, so get out here right now.”

Sting makes his way out to the ring.

Cage: I will get to the point. There will be a meeting tonight, and I know that Cornette will give me back my belt. And if all you want is a shot at the title, you got it. But at least have the balls to say it to my face!

Sting: Excuse me there Jeff Jarrett…I though it was talking to Christian Cage.

Cage: Tell me you didn’t call me Jarrett. Am I wearing white ants? Am I a complete ass?

Sting: At this moment, you do. Just shut up for a minute and let me talk, and don’t point that finger at me. I know what it is like to be you. To be under a microscope. You’re cracking, and when you crack, you second-guess people. The big picture is that you are worried about the talk Cornette and I had. The problem is JJ. I talked to Cornette about JJ. I wanted a tag match next week, me and you vs. JJ and Steiner and we got the match. Do you understand now, the big picture? We are on the same page.

Cage: I get it. We aren’t waiting for the PPV…next week, its Showtime!

JB is with Steiner and JJ. Steiner says Sting can’t match him, and having a Canadian partner is like having an Ethiopian partner, only they have more muscle tone. JJ says he has waited 7-days. He knows Cornette only has one choice, and JJ out smarted everyone and he may be hated, but he is the smartest. He expects to get his title back at the meeting. Case closed. Steiner asks if Joe learned his lesson yet…boy? I wanted him to call him a half-breed again.

Match #1 Team Canada defeated Jay Lethal & Chris Sabin

We see Shane Douglas training the Naturals. It’s a pretty cool montage with Douglas narrating over the video clips of them training. He basically says they are still pussies and have a ton of work to do.

Match #2 Monty Brown defeated Normal Smiley

Match #3 No DQ Match: Team 3-D w/Runt defeated AMW w/Gail Kim

3D celebrates after the match, but the James Gang is here. They had their 7-days and they found a partner. You don’t lay out challenges, that is their job. They say Runt is a member of their family. The roots in the James family runs deep. They found the biggest, baddest and ugliest man in the family tree. They have 2-words…turn around. Abyss whoops their asses as they mock them. Abyss tosses Runt through a table on the floor. BG does his JR impression. Can we not go one week without doing something WWE guys? And who did Bullet Bob sleep with to have Abyss as an illegitimate child?

Company Meeting~! Cornette welcomes us and thanks us for being here. He thanks the roster for their attendance. His meetings went well and he has an agenda. LAX, you have been doing a work stoppage because of the immigration issues. A work stoppage means a check stoppage. You will return to the ring, if not, Jiffy Lube is hiring. #2, Scott D’Amore and Team Canada, you have individual contracts, and you are officially DISBANDED! AMW wants a rematch, so at Victory Road, it will be AMW and Gail vs. AJ, Daniels and the TRANNY for the titles. #4, Earl Hebner where are you? You, Larry Z and JJ in the ring now! Steiner, you too. Earl, we have been friends 20-years. I always thought that refs should be respected and your word be law. Your hand is in someone’s pocket. Tell the refs in the back…YOU ARE FIRED! Get out of my building, you are on the take and I want you gone! I am sick of Montreal! Security escorts him out. Larry Z, you are a member of the championship committee. If I fire you, I have to pay you. BUT…if you breach the contract, you are fired. If you don’t do what is asked, you are gone. Larry says he will do anything he is asked. Cornette has the power to book him in wrestling matches, so at Victory Road, since you and Raven hate each other, and since you are sensitive about the comb over, no offence, at Victory Road, you vs. Raven in a Hair vs. hair match! You are in control of your own destiny, leave in breach or I will make your life of a living hell. Larry says he will decide and leaves. Now to you JJ. This is about the NWA title. This gave me trouble, because no matter what I do someone will get mad. I don’t like to GIVE out a title to someone, like some do for a son in law. There was no honor at Slammiversary, and I want to put that back. Sting and Cage were about to win, but what you did cost them and you won. The TNA fans want you to get your ass whopped. So here is the deal, I will get the 4-baddest dudes and put them in a 4-way match. Cage, Sting, Steiner and…SAMOA JOE! And JJ, when those 4-men get done and there is a winner, they will face YOU for the NWA Title that night…and that is the only way you will get this title. I will say this, this belt is yours…but it won’t be for long! JJ and Steiner celebrate. JJ says you found out the hard way that when you come to TNA, you have to deal with me. And now that the title is back with me, I am in the right frame of mind. Earlier tonight, Cage and Sting challenged us, why don’t we do this now!

Cage walks to the ring and Sting is here! They attack and we have a BRAWL~! Stinger splash to JJ! They go to the floor and brawl…JOE HAS STEINER AND CHOKES HIM OUT as we go off the air!

TODAY on iMpact:

***Sonjay Dutt vs. Homicide ***

***Monty Brown vs. Kenny King ***

***Sting & Christian Cage vs. Jeff Jarrett & Scott Steiner ***

TNA iMpact Begins…NOW!:

We open with JB at Sting’s locker room. Cage is here, and he thinks he has a crush on Sting. He and Sting are partners tonight, but at Victory Road…they are opponents.

Highlights of last week run.

Tenay and West welcome us to the show and hype the Sting & Christian Cage vs. Jeff Jarrett & Scott Steiner main event.

Moody Jack announces the LAX together.

Sonjay Dutt vs. Homicide w/Konnan and Hernandez

Homicide attacks at the bell, some arm drags and reversals. Standing Senton and moonsault by Dutt for 2. Rights by Homicide and Dutt to the floor. Homicide gets a suicide dive, but Dutt moves and Homicide nails Hernandez! Dutt then gets a senton dive from the ring to the floor onto Homicide and Hernandez. Hernandez trips up Dutt and Homicide covers for 2. Spinning back elbow by Homicide gets 2. Homicide gets some wacky ass rolling Lucha submission on Dutt and Konnan helps with some leverage. Homicide sets Dutt up top, follows and gets a superplex, rolls through and gets a falcon arrow for 2! Homicide goes up top…MISSES a frog splash! Springboard missile dropkick by Dutt. Elbow by Dutt, clothesline and a spine-buster. Lion-Sault by Dutt gets 2! Reversals and a Diamond Cutter by Homicide for 2. Homicide calls for the end…Cop Killa reversed…Dragon DDT by Dutt. Konnan distracts the ref and Hernandez gets an overhead toss on Dutt and Homicide covers for the pin!

But Slick Johnson is out and tells the ref what happened, and they reverse the decision.

Winner: Sonjay Dutt via DQ @ 4:35

The LAX beats down Dutt, but Ron Killings makes the save.

Really energetic and fun match. I really want to see Homicide let loose on PPV really soon, he is obviously all healed up and a 100% Homicide needs to be utilized.

Larry Z is out and he and Slick argue. Slick says he will look great bald. He’ll show him how good he’ll look.

Back from commercial and we see clips of last week and Cornette disbanding Team Canada. We see D’Amore confronting Cornette. Next week he will give them one last chance. All of Team Canada is mad at Eric Young, probably because he place din last week’s WOTW.

Tenay and West tell us about Rhino, Team 3D and Jay Lethal vs. Team Canada, and if team Canada loses, they are done. Also, the wrestler that gets a pin gets a future title shot.

Eric Young is here, and he thinks he will lose his job. Tenay says he could win a title shot. Eric is paranoid! Slick is here and he has photo shops of Larry bald! He enlists Eric to hand them out to the crowd. Team Canada comes out to yell at Eric Young.

We see clips of Shane Douglas training the Naturals more. Shane Douglas is a great man.

Back from commercial and we see footage of Rhino at the Hardcore War show, proclaiming that he was staying with TNA. Really passionate stuff from Rhino, good deal. Lots of bleeping of naughty words, he’s a potty mouth.

Monty Brown vs. Kenny King

Loc k up and Brown clubs down KK. Brown slams him to the corner, KK gets a sloppy reversal, rights and boots to Brown. Irish whip by Brown, fall away slam to KK. Off the ropes…POOOOUUUUNNNNNNNCCCCCCCCE-AHHH! PERIOD! That is all.

Winner: Monty Brown via pin @ 1:08

Brown on the mic, it is hunting season. He won’t pad his record like Samoa Joe did. He is here for the big game, like Rhino, like Cage and like JJ and Steiner. He hasn’t forgotten about Sting either, and they will all feel the POOOOUUUUNNNNNNNCCCCCCCCE-AHHH! PERIOD!

Squash.

JB is with JJ and Steiner. JJ says Sting told everyone that the worst thing for TNA would be him as Champion, and it came true. JJ realizes they cannot co-exist, and one of them has to go and it is Sting. He will start tonight, in the biggest main event in Impact history. Steiner says they will take them out, so that it will only be he and the fat bastard. JB says if he wins he gets the title shot. JJ tells him to shut up, and Steiner looks on as if he just realized he was in a match for a title shot. Let’s say he was rather perplexed.

Back from commercial with a new Paparazzi Productions. Nash talks about humiliations and body bags. Johnny Devine is now part of their clique. Tonight they pull something out that the fans haven’t seen in 2-weeks! Shelley and Devine clap for Nash’s genius!

Nash is now here in the Impact zone, and Devine and Shelley have a body bag in a grocery cart. They roll it in the ring, and Nash says they have captured OSAMA! He wants the reward, split unevenly three ways of course. They open it to reveal Sabin. Nash tells them to, “put the boots to him” and they do. Lethal is here to run them off. Nash bails and Lethal gets some nice kicks to clear the ring.

At Victory Road it will be Nash and Shelley w/Devine vs. Lethal and Sabin.

JB with Samoa Joe. Joe says earlier tonight he heard JB say Steiner may win, and that is foolish. You can plan all you want, but when he steps in the ring it all changes. Stinger, you were the man…you were Mr. Showtime…but I am now the man. Cage, the charismatic one…all the whining won’t save you from me. And then Scott…Scotty I didn’t forget what you did to me. I think about finding you for revenge every night. Scott, I beat you…Scott, it is about hurting and humiliating you. I will make your children cry…cry because you can’t hold them anymore. Cage and Sting, I will ground and pound you…and then choke you out.

Scott Steiner makes his way to the ring.

Jarrett makes his way to the ring.

Back from commercial as Christian Cage makes his way to the ring.

Sting makes his way to the ring.

Sting & Christian Cage vs. Jeff Jarrett & Scott Steiner

They begin brawling on the floor. Sting and Steiner pair off as Cage tosses JJ onto the announce table. Sting has Steiner’s chain mail and put s it on and hits Steiner to mock him. In the ring and a back elbow by Sting on Steiner. Boot to Steiner and a dropkick by Sting. Clothesline and a tag to Cage. Boot to Steiner by Cage. Double elbow off the ropes to Steiner and a cover for 2 by Cage. Knees by Steiner now and a tag to JJ. To the corner goes Cage, whip and a back elbow to JJ. Sunset flip gets 2 for Cage. Sit out powerbomb by Cage to counter a RANA gets 2. Corner punches by Cage, but JJ tosses him over the top to the floor and we head to a commercial @ 2:45.

Back from commercial @ 6:15 as JJ nails Cage with a chair shot to the back. In the ring, JJ gets the choke on the 2nd rope and charge. Tag to Steiner, off the ropes and a clothesline, elbow drop and pushups by Steiner. Flex. Steroid chant for Steiner. Suplex and a cover for 2 by Steiner. Tag to JJ and off the ropes and a sleeper on Cage. Cage escapes and gets a sleeper to JJ, but he gets a back suplex and BOTH men are down! Tag to Steiner and he cuts off Cage from getting a tag. Hard rights by Steiner, tag to JJ and Cage escapes a double suplex and gets a double reverse DDT! TAG to Sting! He starts to take JJ and Steiner down. Stinger splash on JJ. Whips Steiner into JJ. Stinger splash on both! Scorpion death lock try on JJ….and he has it but Steiner breaks it up. Sting dumps Steiner to the floor. Low blow by JJ, STROKE! 1…2…Cage pulls out the ref! He and Steiner brawl on the floor now and Cage slams Steiner to the ring post. Cage up top, JJ up as well…Cage bites JJ and tosses him off Scorpion death drop by Sting. FROGSPLASH on JJ by Cage and that is all!

Winners: Sting and Christian Cage via pin @ 10:47

Solid match here, it had a big feel and most importantly a CLEAN finish; which can be rare these days.

Cage and Sting shake and then hug before they celebrate. Steiner is backing and lays them out with the NWA title. Recliner on Cage! JOE IS HERE! He attacks Steiner and Sting and JJ brawl as well! Sting and JJ into the crowd and brawl as Joe and Steiner brawl up the ramp. We see Joe and Steiner backstage brawling like crazy, and see Cage alone in the ring with the NWA title and smiling. Sting applies the death-lock on JJ in the crowd as we go to the wrap up/build package for next week.

Final Impact Thoughts: In my opinion a better show than last weeks. Everything just seemed to work together to build to main event, the next show and the PPV. After last week seemed to just be “a show” this was a great turn around.

Don’t forget to send your thoughts on the show to me for the 3R’s next week!