411’s TNA Impact Report 11.11.10

411’s TNA IMPACT REPORT 11.11.10

Championship Roll Call:
TNA WORLD TITLE: JEFF HARDY
TNA TV TITLE: AJ STYLES
TNA X-DIVISION TITLE: ROBBIE E.
TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE: MADISON RAYNE
TNA TAG TEAM TITLES: MOTOR CITY MACHINEGUNS
TNA KNOCKOUTS TAG TEAM TITLES: HAMADA AND TAYLOR WILDE

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Before we begin tonight, let’s take a moment to thank our veterans for all they gave for us. Also, let’s take a moment in remembrance of the TNA career of Lacey Von Erich. Only one song seems appropriate right now:

We open with clips of Immortal pwning their opposition at Turning Point. Sabu got fired. Stevie Richards challenged AJ Styles to a match tonight. Pope got screwed by his congregation. Matt Morgan got screwed by a referee.

Title: “Night of the Immortals”

We open with Eric Bischoff, Abyss, Ric Flair & the rest of Immortal making their way to the ring. Jeff Jarrett, AJ Styles, Beer Money, Kazarian, Douglas Williams, they’re all here. Well, except for that Hogan guy, and the champ. Jarrett has some words with a ringsider. Kazarian sets a garbage can in the middle of the ring. Eric assures us that they love us all from the bottom of their hearts. Turning Point was an incredible night, he starts with Abyss. The smartest monster in the world who took out the Pope. He then presents the man who put on a mixed martial arts clinic at the PPV that the entire Gracie Family had to admire. An MMA specialist, the King of the Mountain, the reason we’re all here, Double J Jeff Jarrett! Ric Flair says that Immortal dominates this sport like no other, and they’re what TNA & Wrestling are all about. AJ Styles says it’s all about fame & Fortune. Sabu is now in the unemployment line courtesy of Fortune. Tonight he’s going to send another one home, as he will break Stevie Richards’ neck tonight. Eric says the biggest moment was the very first title defense by the TNA Immortal World Heavyweight Champion, Jeff Hardy!

Hardy makes his grand entrance as our hosts Mike Tenay & Taz debate the merits of Hardy’s victory at Turning Point. This is Jeff’s coming out party. He destroyed Matt Morgan, leaving his hopes & dreams with the invisibility of the wind. Overrated his ass! It’s safe to say he’s the disciple, the chosen one, he’s sipped from the holy grail of Hulkamania, so he will forever be Immortal. Eric tells us the night is about to get even more exciting, he introduces us to the true Immortal, Hulk Hogan! Jarrett & Abyss seem especially overjoyed by Hulk’s entrance. Hulk asks if we know what it feels like to be surrounded by nothing but family. When he made the deal to run TNA, the one thing he had to have was this right here: Ric Flair. Without Ric Flair, you don’t have a wrestling company. He’s been making phone calls and chasing leads down the last couple weeks, and taking care of the next big thing for Immortal, while Flair has kept it all together here. The bar that he’s raised, everybody in the company either steps up or gets out. Now that Immortal is working like clockwork, he’s got a big surprise for the champ…

PYRO goes off while the new TNA title belt descends from the heavens. The fans chant “Hardy”. Hogan says out with the old, and in with the new, taking the old title belt and presenting the new one, which somehow looks even more ridiculous than it did on the Twitter picture.

(I noticed some people in the live coverage thread digging on it, but it certainly isn’t my style. If you’re a fan of the Divas title or the Spinner belt you’ll probably love it. I like title belts that look like title belts, what can I say?)

Jeff Hardy is immortal, brother. Hogan tosses the old belt into the trash, claiming that it represents Dixie Carter and old TNA. If there’s anybody left to challenge Immortal & Jeff Hardy, the only thing they can do is drop down to their knees and pray, brother.

Pope is pimpin’, and here’s D’Angelo Dinero in the crowd! Pope has arrived. After what they pulled this last Sunday at Turning Point, how they paid off his cousins & brother, tonight, he’s going to put Eric Bischoff in a casket, roll it up the ramp, and push it off the edge of a cliff. There’s nothing he can do about it. Samoa Joe’s music plays, and Joe appears on the ramp. The Pope isn’t their only problem tonight. He hasn’t forgot about what Jarrett, Gunner & Murphy did on Sunday. It’s adorable how Jarrett calls himself a shoot fighter. When Joe grounds him, beats him and chokes him out, it’s going to take more than his two hillbilly girlfriends to break it up. Now Rob Van Dam appears by the announce table! All this fun they’ve had at RVD’s expense will stop. He found out at Turning Point that EV2 was the tight family he always thought it was, and there was only one person that would sell him out to take what was his. Jeff Hardy’s standing there with the title that RVD never lost. Everyday, Jeff lives with the knowledge that he will have to face RVD in the ring. RVD says it will happen tonight, and tonight he will leave the building as TNA Heavyweight Champion! And here’s Matt Morgan in the entranceway. He agrees that RVD should get his title shot, but not until he gets his first. Jeff Hardy is no champion. Morgan exposed him in the middle of the ring at Turning Point. If given the opportunity again, he’ll expose him all over again. We know who the real puppet master is, and it’s Hulk Hogan! Hogan says he’s jumping on the wrong dog now. Morgan says that when he was a kid, he worshipped the ground Hulk walked on. Hulk’s integrity is why Morgan is there tonight. Where’s the fight? Where’s the never-say-die attitude? Where’s his balls? If he had a set, he’d fight them. Hogan says if he wants a fight, that’s what they’ll get. Hogan, Flair & Bischoff are going to go to the back and put a battle plan together. Be careful what you wish for. If it’s a fight they want, it’s a fight they’ll get! Play Hulk’s music!

Backstage, Hulk asks Ric for his take on all of these people. Ric says they all want to be Immortal. Hulk says when he was at home he realized how ignorant Matt Morgan is. He gets some cheers and now he’s the savior? Ric says all that Matt wanted to do was kiss Hulk’s ass, which he did. Hulk books Joe against Gunner & Murphy. Eric says RVD should face Kaz. Hulk adds that if RVD wins, he can be the number one contender. He also books Matt Morgan against Beer Money & Doug Williams. Flair invites Hogan to look at the new talent around town, and they head off to do that.

Robbie E & Cookie head to the ring for their match. Cookie wants to give a message to Taylor Wilde. She might not be a wrestler, but she’s from Jersey and she knows how to fight!

Match 1: Mixed Tag Team Match
Jay Lethal & Taylor Wilde vs. Robbie E & Cookie

Cookie seems like she’s having second thoughts on her way to the ring, while Robbie E acts like a thought has never crossed his mind. He sure is taken with that X Division title belt, looking at it like Larry Csonka looking at a chocolate cake. Would this OH OH OH thing that Robbie & Tenay do make sense if I watched Jersey Shore or hung out with d-bags?

After a commercial, the match starts. Lethal & Wilde chase Robbie & Cookie out of the ring. Robbie jumps Lethal on the outside, sending him into the ring. Lethal gets the advantage, big chops in the corner, Cookie pulls Robbie out and he recuperates on the outside while Lethal & Wilde discuss matters. Robbie & Cookie argue, and then Lethal punches Robbie down. Robbie begs off and seeks comfort in the chest area of Cookie. Who can blame him? The girls tag in. Well, Taylor tags in, and Cookie runs away before tagging out. Lethal hit’s a cross body on Robbie for two. Hip toss, cartwheel and a dropkick for two. Cookie breaks it up, and baits Lethal, allowing for a blindside attack by Robbie. Leapfrog and an arm drag by Lethal. Arm bar as the fans chant “Lethal”. Taylor needs to be restrained by the ref for some reason, and Robbie takes advantage with a Greco-Roman hair pull. Cookie comes in and helps Robbie stomp Jay down. The timing on all of this really seems off. Cover gets two. A double team from Robbie & Cookie doesn’t work, then Jay hits the Lethal Combination! Cookie breaks up the pin attempt. Lethal catches her foot on a kick attempt, Taylor comes in and chases Cookie around, then Robbie levels Lethal with the boot for the three count!

Winners: Robbie E & Cookie (about five minutes, ½*)
I don’t know what was going on here, but it looked like everybody in this match was reading from different playbooks. Cookie looked like Chad Ochocinco trying to run routes out there. No wonder they had her mention before the match that she isn’t a wrestler (even though she actually is one).

OH OH OH

We get a video package chronicling the end of Team 3D at Turning Point.

Team 3D………..IS WALKING!

Team 3D makes their way to the ring. Brother Ray holds up a sign. Are we sure that he and Bubba the Love Sponge aren’t brothers? The resemblance is quite striking. I shouldn’t be mean, because obviously they’ve come out here to say goodbye to their fans once and for all, never to return. The fans ask them not to go. Well, I think some are asking for them to leave. Ray says it was a hell of a tag team match at the PPV. The Motor City Machine Guns deserve to be the TNA World Tag Team Champions. He’s proud that they helped tag team wrestling in TNA mean something. All good things come to an end. 15 years, 23 world tag team titles all over the world. They’re glad they got to end it against the Guns. The only words they can say to us is “thank you very much”. Devon says that the fans have always given them the respect and love, and been in their corner. Without us, there would be no Team 3D. Like Ray said, it’s time to move on. Ray will be a rock star. Devon is going to train his kids to be wrestlers. OH MY BROTHER TESTIFY! The fans cheer while Team 3D embraces in the middle of the ring. Awwwwwwwwwww. The old arm raise! Devon turns his back, and Ray hits him from behind! WHAT WHAT WHAT? Ray kicks Devon down and shakes his head in disgust.

Moments ago, Brother Ray shocked the world and attacked Brother Devon from behind! Mike Tenay asks Taz if he saw it coming, and Taz has no idea why this happened. He’s speechless! They run down the upcoming card.

Eric Bischoff asks Earl Hebner why he appointed a punk kid to referee the main event. Jackson says that all of this is his fault. Matt Morgan tells the Hebners to leave, and defends Jackson, saying that everybody’s screwed up and Eric shouldn’t read the kid the riot act. Morgan says that Jackson can referee his handicap match tonight and do the right thing, and that’ll make up for that thing at the PPV. Eric tells Jackson to do his job.

Match 2: Handicap Match
Gunner & Murphy vs. Samoa Joe

Taz feels this is an even matchup. Jarrett’s cronies attack at the bell. Big clothesline in the corner by Murphy. Big kick by Gunner! Joe punches away on Gunner, sending him into the corner, overhead suplex by Gunner. Murphy tagged in, he gets a big kick in the corner, and then Joe Musclebusts Murphy down for the three count!

Winner: Samoa Joe (about one minute ,*)
One of the more decisive one on two matches I’ve ever seen. Joe looked strong, but I‘m not high on the future of Gunner or Murphy here.

Gunner gets choked out after the match. Well, I guess Taz was wrong, it wasn’t a fair fight. It is now, as Jeff Jarrett enters the ring and works Joe over with a nightstick! The three begin to stomp Joe down…Joe still tries to fight back, and now Jarrett locks in the Ankle Lock! But wait a minute, here’s Kurt Angle! He takes Gunner & Murphy out, and Jarrett heads for higher ground! Angle does not look like a happy camper, and Jarrett looks like he’s seen a ghost. Angle helps Joe up…

Hogan, Bischoff, Flair & Abyss are concerned backstage. Flair says that Gunner & Murphy are done, and Angle is a dead man. Bischoff, fearful for his safety, leaves with Abyss. Hogan tells Flair they’re going to handle it.

Bischoff is in the bathroom, and tells the cameraman to keep following him. He tells Abyss to hurry up…but it’s not Abyss that he sees next, it’s the Pope! Pope punches Eric in the gut, then punches Abyss down in his stall. Pope yells at Eric, and then drags him off…

Match 3: If RVD Wins, He Gets A TNA Title Shot
Kazarian vs. Rob Van Dam

A battle of two guys that have spent a lot of time in So Cal. Tenay reports that Rhino’s contract expired this week, and the Bischoghan regime did not renew it. Kaz with the early advantage, a Samoan drop takes RVD down. Kaz works RVD over in the corner. Whip reversed, monkey flip by RVD! Another one, and Kaz nearly hit the lights on that one! Cartwheel into a back moonsault by RVD! Whip into the corner, forearms and shoulder blocks. Snapmare, springboard kick by RVD! He’s cookin’ right now. But Kaz answers with a back elbow. Kaz gets knocked goofy on a show from RVD, he ducks in the corner, cross bodies RVD but wipes out Earl Hebner in the process! Reverse kick by RVD. Ric Flair makes his way to the ring, but Rhino runs down behind him! He knocks the chair out of Flair hand and enters the ring. He looks at RVD, and then Gores him! Kaz covers for the victory!

Winner: Kazarian (about three minutes, *½)
Not long enough to go anywhere, but there were a couple of decent spots here. The monkey flip was especially impressive, and I can live with the ending because it leads to a new twist in the storyline.

Rhino stands over RVD with a chair…Tommy Dreamer runs down and tells Rhino to get out. Rhino acts like he listened, then whacks Dreamer in the back with the chair while Dreamer attends to RVD!

Pope yells at Bischoff some more in front of a vending machine, and tells him to shut up while Eric tries to answer his questions. He puts his sunglasses on Eric while Eric tries to apologize. He puts the skull cap on Eric so he can look like Pope. He tells Eric to rap like the Pope. That doesn’t work, and Pope drags Eric off.

Hulk asks Abyss why all of this is happening. Abyss apologizes, and Hulk tells him to go find Eric and rip Pope’s head off.

Tenay & Taz recap the happenings of tonight thus far.

Match 4: TNA TV Title Match
AJ Styles vs. Stevie Richards

Stevie attacks AJ during his entrance! AJ gets back dropped after a commercial and Stevie gets a two count. AJ’s launched outside. Richards chops him on the guardrail, but gets kicked on his way back in. AJ moonsaults into a kick on Stevie for two. Stevie’s head is sent into the corner. Snap mare into a neck vice by Styles. Richards tries to fight back, but telegraphs the dropkick. AJ with an elbow drop, he stomps Richards and lands another elbow drop. Chinlock! Richards fights back, off the ropes, big dropkick by Styles! Two count. Chops by AJ. Richards tosses AJ onto the apron, but AJ smacks him down. AJ runs into a clothesline! Richards with another, swinging neck breaker gets a close two count. Richards does the ten punches in the corner. Forearm by Stevie, but he misses in the corner! AJ on the apron…springboard into a Steviekick! AJ saves himself by reaching the ropes on the count! Stevie tries to go for a power bomb, AJ fights out, smacks Stevie down, and hits the Styles Clash! He dropped Stevie right on his neck, and it gets the three count!

Winner: AJ Styles (about six minutes, **½)
Pretty decent showing from both guys here. Nothing must-see, but Richards got to look impressive before he got wiped out. This AJ Styles guy usually has good matches.

Richards looks like he’s going to need some help…

Pope kicks and punches Eric, then puts him in a casket! Where’s he wheeling it to?

When we come back from commercial, we find out that Pope’s wheeling the casket into the Impact Zone! Abyss attacks Pope and chokes him down on the ground. He opens the casket, but Pope closes it again and fires away on the monster, kneeing him over and over again. Pope is peeved! He slams Abyss’s head into the casket and continues attacking while Eric gets out of the casket…he low blows Pope and that’ll slow down that assault. Abyss picks Pope up and puts him in the casket. Bischoff & Abyss ram the casket into the stage! Eric, the martial arts expert, kicks away at it for good measure.

Main Event: 3 on 1 Handicap Match
Beer Money & Douglas Williams (w/Ric Flair) vs. Matt Morgan

The Fortune theme music has certainly grown on me. Open the ropes for Naitch, So Cal Val! The Fortune three attack Morgan right at the bell. Morgan fires back a la Samoa Joe earlier, but Robert Roode & James Storm try a double team…they get taken out with a double clothesline. Williams breaks up the double choke slam attempt, and all three stomp away on Morgan. Williams focuses on the knee of Morgan that was targeted at Turning Point. Roode is in there with Morgan now, continuing to work on the knee with a leg lock. Storm tags in, and they make a wish with Morgan’s legs. Leglock by Storm, he punches away on the knee. Tag to Williams, who sets Morgan up for the Stretch Muffler, but Morgan fights out. Williams maintains the advantage, and Flair gets in a cheap shot as well! Tag to Storm, who locks in the Figure 4! Morgan tries to reverse it, and eventually he does! Tenay reports that Eric Bischoff is angry and is headed to the broadcast table. While Morgan continues to get worked over, Eric says that Morgan better win, because if he doesn’t, he will never get a shot at Jeff Hardy! Roode locks in a Boston Crab while Eric yells about how they made it personal, and he’s professional! He doesn’t want to hear from Tenay. Roode punches away. Morgan fights back with a discus clothesline! Roode makes the tag to Williams, who eats some clotheslines from Morgan. Roode runs into a boot! Williams is splashed in the corner, and eats a sidewalk slam. Bischoff is now threatening Tenay, and has promised that Morgan will receive a title shot if he wins this match.

Flair is on the apron, and he gets smacked down as we bleed into Reaction. Apparently Beer Money has headed for higher ground. Williams with a big knee in the corner. A cross body attempt by Williams ends with a fall away slam by Morgan! Carbon Footprint wins it!

Winner: Matt Morgan (about ten minutes, **)
For a one on three match this was actually pretty good. Yeah, the three people lost, but two of them vanished. It happens. The only real complaint I have is that Bischoff’s intrusion on commentary, while increasing the importance of the match by adding a stiplation, was a little too distracting.

Jeff Hardy distracts Morgan with a promo on the big screen, then low blows him from behind in real time! Twist of Hate! Hardy goes up…Swanton! Hardy stands tall with his Purple People Eating Belt!

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So long and good night, everybody!