411’s TNA Impact Report 9.16.10

Come one come all to this wrestling show,
It’s gonna be awesome and some other stuff.
De de de de do de de de do de de do de,
Some other wrestling stuff.

Why TNA couldn’t take this week off, the same week that Always Sunny premiers, instead of last week pisses me off. But let’s stay on point, and let’s get ready for…

Oh yea, and no Hogan Heads tonight. I had the links to them all saved on my laptop, and then all my files were deleted for reasons unknown. I could go back and look them up again, but I simply just don’t care.

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-We kick things off with some lengthy highlights from Angle vs Hardy at No Surrender. Apparently Anderson vs Dinero wasn’t important enough.

“One More Time”

-Hardy and Angle are both in the ring right now, and here comes Eric Bischoff to join them, with the extremely hot Ms. Tessmacher. We get highlights of Anderson beating Dinero, along with Angle vs Hardy. Bischoff congratulates Mr. Anderson. And for his opponent, that’s why he called both guys to the ring. Both Hardy and Angle had an intense, hard fought match, the likes of which he’s never seen. It’s an honor to be in the ring with both guys. The problem on their hands is that because they weren’t able to determine a winner, but Eric has a solution, one he thinks we’re going to like. We’re going to crown a new World Champion at Bound for Glory, when Anderson faces Angle and Hardy in a 3 Way match. Bischoff’s music plays him out. But here comes Dixie Carter.

She has something she wants to say. She spoke to Hardy and Angle after the match at No Surrender. She was so proud of them on that night, as they gave it everything they had and never stopped. She knows they weren’t happy about the outcome though. Tonight, Dixie is going to overturn Eric’s decision. Instead of a 3 Way, why don’t Hardy and Angle settle things tonight in a No Time Limit match, and this time there will be a winner, and that winner will face Anderson at BFG. Hardy and Angle hug.

-Dinero says he needs to talk to Eric, and that this is BS. He runs into Sting and Nash and shakes their hands. He walks off as we head to commercial.

-Dreamer is at a gas station, and a camera man apparently followed him. He asks Dreamer where EV2 goes from here. Dreamer says maybe go home.

Match 1: Kevin Nash (w/ Sting) vs Samoa Joe (w/ Jeff Jarrett)

Knee by Nash, and he starts reigning down on Joe with blows. Joe ducks a clothesline and nails a jumping kick. Clothesline by Joe. Elbow in the corner, and the SSC Enzuigiri follows. Joe stomping Kev now. Nash pulls Joe to the outside and throws Joe headfirst onto the apron. Joe starts to fight back with elbows. Joe goes to throw Nash into the steps but Sting stops him. Joe attacks Sting. Nash goes after Joe and Jarrett attacks Nash. Joe with right hands to Sting while Nash works down Jeff. This one’s going to a double count out.

Winner: No Contest (* – Not much to the match, but Joe got in a good majority of the offense, which was good. Still, this was more angle advancement than anything else)

They continue to brawl around ringside as the bell frantically rings. Security tries to break it up but are doing a pretty poor job. This brawl is starting to overstay its welcome. Jeff dives off the apron at Sting.

-We see Lacey in the back with a towel. Madison and Tara show up. They tell her to put some clothes on because they have a title match. Madison and Lacey start to argue.

-Later tonight, Angle vs Hardy, and up next is Jay Lethal vs Doug Williams for the X-Division title.

-Nash and Sting are in the back. Nash says it’s a war. Sting said he told Kev he was gonna take the gloves off. Now it’s starting to get fun.

Match 2: Jay Lethal vs Douglas Williams(C) – TNA X-Division Championship

We get a recap of Lethal pinning Williams on Xplosion. Lethal goes straight on the attack, and both guys trade blows. Scoop slam by Williams, and he drops a knee. Pin but only one. Williams catches a boot and botches throwing Lethal’s legs in the ropes. Lethal with a weak kick. Gutwrench by Williams. Pin but only two. Camel Clutch is now applied. Williams lets go and continues the attack. Right hands by Lethal, but Williams comes back with a european uppercut. Abdominal stretch applied by Williams now. Lethal fights out but runs into a back elbow. Suplex by Williams. Pin but only two. Lethal starts fighting back, but Williams gets a drop toe hold and locks in a bow and arrow submission. Knee drop to the back of Lethal follows. Chaos Theory countered with elbows. Lethal elevates Williams to the apron. Williams goes to the top and dives at Lethal, but Lethal catches him with a nice dropkick on the way down. Back handspring elbow countered into a Chaos Theory attempt, but Lethal counters that into the Lethal Combination! 1…2…2.9654! Lethal heads up to the top, presumably for the elbow drop. He goes for it all but misses. Williams goes to the second rope. Revolution DDT countered. Lethal Injection!! 1…2…3!!

Winner: Jay Lethal (**1/4 – Look, I don’t agree with a title switch like this because a) it’s totally random, b) it wasn’t advertised beforehand and c) it’s a month before their biggest PPV ever. As for the match, it was alright, but you could tell they were sort of holding back. Also, Williams sort of seemed off his game tonight, which kind of took away from the match.

Lethal celebrates with the belt as the confetti reigns down. Lethal makes his way into the crowd as the celebration continues.

-Abyss is in the back, dragging someone (presumably Stevie Richards).

-Angle says Jeff Hardy went the distance with him and proved to him that he’s a great wrestler. Angle dislocated his ribs, but he’s ready to go tonight. Hardy’s good, but he’s not a champion. Angle’s a champion, and he’s going to BFG to win the title.

Match 3: Lacey Von Erich and Madison Rayne (w/ Tara) vs Taylor Wilde and Hamada(C) – TNA Knockout’s Tag Team Championship

God damn is Lacey looking fine. And Madison and Tara kiss, which is pretty hot in itself. And in case you forgot, yes, the Knockout’s Tag Titles are still active. Lacey and Taylor start things off. Taylor works down the arm. Multiple pin variations by Taylor end in near falls. Headlock by Lacey is countered into one by Taylor. Lacey drives Taylor into the corner. Hamada gets the tag and dives in for a sunset flip, but only two on the pin. Madison gets the tag. Madison with a boot to the side of the head of Hamada. Lacey gets the tag and does a back handspring elbow drop. And another, but it misses. Boot to the midsection by Hamada. Slam follows, and Hamada goes to the top. Moonsault connects. Pin but Lacey kicked out. Taylor nails a crossbody off the top, but only gets two on the pin. Headlock by Taylor, and Lacey pushes her off. Madison grabs Taylor by the hair, yanking her down. Tag to Madison and she goes on the attack. Submission applied by Madison, facebuster, and then a clothesline follows. Lacey’s now in and they nail Taylor with a double suplex. Pin but only two. Sleeper locked in by Lacey. Taylor counters out with a jawbreaker. Hamada’s in and nails Lacey with multiple boots. Headbutt, and here comes Taylor. She knocks Madison off the apron. Fireman’s carry/spinning neckbreaker combo by the champs, and this one’s over.

Winners: Taylor Wilde and Hamada (*3/4 – This was miles better than it had any right to be, and I gotta say, Lacey is definitely improving. This was also lengthier than I would’ve expected, but each member held their own. This gives Wilde and Hamada an appearance on Impact while continuing TBP vs Rayne/Tara feud, which is fine by me)

Madison is really pissed and is yelling at Lacey. Lacey shoves Madison down. Tara nails Lacey from behind with the helmet. And here comes the Beautiful People. Madison and Tara bail out. Velvet hugs Lacey as we head to commercial.

-Up next, we’ll hear from EV2. So don’t miss it. Or else.

-Hardy talks about the rematch he has with Angle tonight and whatnot.

-And here comes Tommy Dreamer. He says that EV2 is not here, and he asks Fortune to come to the ring. And here they come, excluding Doug Williams. Dreamer thanks them for coming out. Honestly, Dreamer is sick of seeing his friends get hurt, he’s calling a truce, this is over. When he first came to TNA, he tried to make a difference, and what he wanted to show them was that TNA is so damn special, and he has a personal history with each of them, and he’s seen his company go away. Fortune is the future of the company. And if they can one day look at Dreamer in his shoes, this is his last chance. This is the house that AJ built, but he’s just looking for a place to call a home. Storm, never in this business has there been a guy who went from a tag team and had so much success as he did with AMW, and then went to more of being great with Beer Money. Storm has more talent in his finger than a guy who came to the ring with a beer and cane in Sandman. Kaz, a lot of people may not know, Dreamer got him his first job in the WWE. And here was a man who left because he wasn’t happy, and what was bad for WWE worked out great for TNA. And he remembers that little kid who went to Boston shows when he was a little kid, and think of how far he’s come. This company is the world to Kaz. Big man, Matt Morgan, he remembers when he was a bouncer at a night club. Morgan was humble, and when he was in WWE, they thought he could be the next Undertaker or Kane. But Morgan came to TNA and proved that the next time a big goofy kid walks in, they’ll call him the next Matt Morgan. Bobby, his tryout with the WWE was against Dreamer himself, and at the point where he offered Roode a contract with the WWE, and he turned it down to stay in TNA. Because he believed in this place, and he wanted to help build this place. And he knows Rick Rude and Mr. Perfect were Roode’s favorite wrestlers, and Dreamer knows they’d both say he’s got it. If they ever told Dreamer as a kid he’d be standing in the same ring as Ric Flair, the one thing he would say is “Thank you”. He’s seen Flair walk down the isle, and he knows he doesn’t get what hardcore wrestling is, and he did it every single night 300 days a year, because if there was ever a hardcore wrestler, it is Flair. And Flair always said he was the dirties player in the business. Dreamer says he is the business, and the day Flair decides to stop walking down the isle will be the saddest day in this business. And AJ Styles. Loud “AJ Styles” chant. AJ did something at the PPV that no one has ever made Dreamer say, and he didn’t make him say it because of injury or cheating, but because he was better than him. AJ helped elevate Dreamer’s game and everyone else’s game out there, and AJ is the best in ring performer today. And that night Dreamer had to go to the hospital, and if the opportunity stood, he’d do the same damn thing to AJ. The one thing Dreamer wanted to do was shake AJ’s hand, because AJ was better than Tommy Dreamer. Dreamer extends his hand, and Styles grabs the mic. AJ appreciates everything Dreamer’s said, and it takes a big man to come out here and say that stuff. If there’s one thing that can be said about Dreamer, he’s all heart. Tommy took a wrestling company and turned it into a revolution. There was a revolution started like no other. He never asked for respect, but he always seemed to get it. So Dreamer has AJ’s respect, and he will shake his hand. AJ and Dreamer shake hands and hug. AJ says one last thing. In Dreamer’s 20 years of wrestling, how many other wrestlers made Dreamer say I Quit? One, and that’s AJ. AJ doesn’t need his praise, and he doesn’t need him. AJ attacks Dreamer and yells at Fortune to help him out. Fortune beats down Dreamer, and Kendrick runs in to help Dreamer out. Fortune kicks his ass though. AJ throws Kendrick out of the ring. He then continues to wail on Dreamer. Kendrick comes back into the ring, but Roode picks him up and hits him. Storm picks up Dreamer, and Styles nails Tommy with a right hand. AJ said Dreamer’s got his truce. It’s over when he says it’s over. Fortune leaves. Kendrick gets back up and grabs a mic. He asks if any of Fortune are brave enough to fight him now. They thrive off of intimidation, well Kendrick is too good for that. He has no fear. They are low reptilians, and Kendrick is a descendant of God. He asks them which one of them are brave enough to fight him now. We’re heading to commercial.

-We’re back, and Kendrick is fighting Morgan in the ring. Discuss clothesline by Morgan, and I guess this is a real match.

Match 4: Brian Kendrick vs Matt Morgan

Boot by Morgan. Morgan now starts reigning down with blows on Kendrick. Vintage corner elbows. Clothesline connects, and a fallaway slam follows. Pin but Morgan breaks it up before the three. Morgan throws Kendrick, and he sort of just stumbles into the corner. Morgan poses to the ground, and turns right into a jumping high kick. Pin and it’s over?

Winner: Brian Kendrick (1/4* – Alright, so I’m all for a Kendrick push, but this is the wrong way to do it)

Morgan calls out Kendrick, saying that it doesn’t count and he wasn’t ready. Morgan rips off his shirt, and he wants the match exempted from the record book. Nobody takes out the Blueprint. KENDRICK!! Don’t make Morgan mad dammit.

-Ms. Tessmacher and Pope are in the back. Dinero wants to speak to Bischoff. Tessmacher says he’s busy. Dinero is pissed and throws some shit. He calms down, and tells Tessmacher to come to his dressing room.

-Up next, we’re gonna hear from RVD.

-Abyss is in the back, and he has some random dudes tied up. He rips the shirt off of dude #1. He picks up Janice and says she’d never cheat on him, but there’s a good man behind every good woman. He proceeds to brand dude #1 with a 10.10.10 thing. Wow, that was pretty fucked up. I guess the camera man was too preoccupied on this segment though to, I don’t know, get some god damn help.

-Tenay and Taz talk about how Abyss is crazy and whatnot. We’re gonna hear from RVD via telephone. Rob says he’s training to come back and whatnot. Nobody knows how to take care of RVD better than RVD. He’s not happy about being stripped of the world title and he had some momentum going there, but he understands why TNA had to do what they did. Rob says he feels pretty good and will be back in the ring next week. Nothing’s going to stop him from being there.

-And here comes Generation Me, decked out in vintage heel attire. Jeremy asks if we just saw that. Did we see what happened to RVD? If you get injured and can’t defend the title within 30 days, the belt gets relinquished. Unfortunately, after what happened to Alex Shelley, he’s not going to be able to come around for a very long time. People have to realize that Generation Me represent the me generation, it’s all about them. It took the MCMG’s about 5 years to finally just barely win the tag titles. Generation Me is not here to pay any dues, they know what they want, they want what they want, and they always get what they want. And what they want, is for Chris Sabin to come to the ring and hand them their tag team titles. And here comes Sabin.

He goes straight on the attack. He starts wailing on Max, but the numbers game is too much. Generation Me beat down Sabin in the ring. Double hangman’s DDT to Sabin. Max holds up the tag team title and throws it at Sabin. Generation Me walk off.

-Up next, Hardy vs Angle.

-SHORE. Coming 10/7

-We get a video hyping up the main event for tonight. This time probably could have been more well suited to give some interview time to, I don’t know, maybe the guy who won in the main event at No Surrender. But what do I know?

Match 5: Jeff Hardy vs Kurt Angle – Winner faces Mr. Anderson at Bound for Glory for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship

Don’t forget, if Angle loses, he retires. So yeah. Tie up to start, and Angle pushes Hardy into the corner. Another tie up, and Hardy works down the arm. Angle rolls through for an arm bar of his own. Hardy breaks free. Another tie up, and Angle locks in a headlock. Hardy pushes him off but gets shoulder blocked. Headlock takeover by Angle follows. Hardy gets back up to his feet and pushes Angle into the corner. Kicks by Hardy to the ribs of Angle. Hardy throws Angle into the ringpost, and then hits him with a baseball slide. Back in the ring as Hardy continues working down Angle. Sitout suplex facebuster by Hardy. Pin but only two. Hardy with a chinlock, and he reigns down blows on the ribs. Angle fights out, Angle avoids Hardy and Hardy goes flying to the outside. Plancha by Angle! Mr. Anderson shows up on the stage and joins the announce team as we head to commercial.

We’re back, and Hardy and Angle both take each other down. Clotheslines by Angle. Backdrop follows. Boots by Hardy in the corner, but he runs into a belly to belly suplex. Pin but only two. Angle Slam countered into a Twist of Fate. Pin but only two. Hardy goes to the top, Angle avoids him and nails a moonsault! Pin but only two. Straps are down and the Ankle Lock is applied. Angle’s bleeding, and Hardy has nowhere to go. Hardy gets up and does something weird. Hardy pushes out. Wheelbarrow kick. Hardy goes up to the top. Swanton connects. 1…2…2.94534!! Hardy goes for the Whisper in the Wind, but hits the ref instead. Angle Slam connects. Another ref is out, but Hardy kicks out at two. Angle Slam again! 1…2…2.84534!! Right hands by Angle in the corner. We’re out of time on Impact, but this will continue on Reaction. FUCK ME!!

Shit, because I love all of you, I’ll continue recapping this. Submission applied by Angle. I mean seriously, I have to miss Always Sunny because of this stupid shit. Hardy fights out, but runs into a knee lift. Chinlock applied by Angle, and I’m going back between this and Always Sunny, so I’m bound to miss some shit. Hardy with forearm shots. Hardyac Arrest. Pin but only two. Hardy clotheslines Angle over the top. Hardy drives Angle into the side of the ring. He then throws Angle into the steps. Back in the ring as Angle gets a german. And another. Trifecta. But he’s not done. Fourth connects. Fifth to end it! Pin but only two. Angle heads to the top. Frog Splash misses! Twist of Fate countered weakly into the Ankle Lock. The other ref revives as Ankle locks in the leg bar. Hardy locks one in of his own. Both guys get pinned simultaneously.

Winner: No Contest (*** – Lengthy main event, but I liked the psychology in this. Angle’s ribs were the main target of Hardy, while Angle used his wrestling prowess to try to counter back. Good stuff, but I’m done here)

-It was announced that Angle vs. Anderson vs. Hardy will be the title match at Bound For Glory.