411’s WWE Fastlane Roundtable Preview

~THE STAFF~
411 columnist, Steve Cook.
411 columnist, Justin Watry.
411 columnist, Jake Chambers.

Rey Mysterio vs. Andrade

Justin Watry: This feud really deserves to be finished up at WWE WrestleMania 35. Not on the Fastlane Kickoff Show. As mentioned in the 411 Forecast Wrestling Podcast, we need more from these two and need a proper stipulation Lucha Libre styled SHOWDOWN! Make that for with Andrade getting the big spotlight on the grand stage. Rey Mysterio can win here. WINNER: Rey Mysterio

Steve Cook: People tell me that the Kickoff Show matches matter. I try very hard not to laugh in their face, which would be impressive as I’m generally hundreds of miles away from these people. This, however, is pretty impressive. You put these two guys out here on the Kickoff Show and I’m making sure I’m at the arena nice & early. Should be quite a treat…I’m picking Andrade because he’s the young boy & should go over, but I fully expect to be wrong because it’s Rey Mysterio. WINNER: Andrade

Jake Chambers: Rey Mysterio is the best and most historically important professional wrestler on this card, and Andrade would be main eventing 3-4 nights a week in front of like 8,000 people in Mexico if he didn’t work for WWE, and yet here they on the colour-balance, sound check, get to your seats, commercial break-featuring KickOff Show. I’d almost say the explanation for their placement on the card would be racism, but nah, Kofi Kingston is in the main event… oh wait. WINNER: Andrade via continued humiliation

WWE Raw Tag Team Championship Match: The Revival vs. Chad Gable & Bobby Roode vs. Ricochet & Aleister Black

Justin Watry: Soooooo can we get a name for Chad Gable and Bobby Roode? My girlfriend simply calls them Glorious. Does that work? Either way, it appears the two kinda had a bit of a heel turn on Monday night. That tells me they will take the fall on Sunday rather than the ultra popular newcomers from NXT. Speaking of, Ricochet and Aleister Black are spectacular. Much more than the Raw tag team division, that’s for sure. The Revival win, the NXT stars shine, and the former champs lose. WINNER: The Revival

Steve Cook: This might be the greatest heel move from Tommaso Ciampa yet. Everything I saw on television up until he went out with his neck injury told me that #DIY should be part of a Tag Team Championship match at Fastlane, in Johnny Gargano’s hometown of Cleveland. Oh, it would have been GLORIOUS! Instead, Ciampa goes on the shelf & deprives Johnny of his moment. What a heartless bastard. Get well soon, asshole. I feel like we’re building to something with this Revival tag title run that deserves better than losing a triple threat…again, I expect to be completely wrong but that’s what I’m doing this month apparently. WINNER: The Revival

Jake Chambers: Hey Ricochet, you’re finally making your main roster WWE PPV debut! How does 12 minutes as part of a multi-man match for the worst titles in the company sound? You can even jump once off the top rope onto all five guys dumbly huddled together on the floor underneath you! WINNER: Ricochet via dreams coming true

WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championship Match: The Usos vs. Shane McMahon & The Miz

@JustinWatry: The Usos vs. The Hardyz for the Smackdown Live Tag Team Titles is the plan for WrestleMania 35. That means one more loss for The Miz and Shane McMahon. In Cleveland, Miz’s hometown. With Miz’s dad at ringside. Smells like a turn is coming. From Miz or Shane. Those two will wrestle at WM35, fans will complain until bell time, and then it will be awesome. WINNER: The Usos

Steve Cook: Shane & Miz have done some good work during this whole thing with them teaming, but I’m still dreading the inevitable WrestleMania match between them. The question is if Shane remembers he’s an evil McMahon and turns against Miz, or if Miz goes insane with jealousy or self-doubt & turns on Shane. I think the people side with Miz either way at this point. It’s 2019 man, there are no faces or heels. WINNER: The Usos

Jake Chambers: We swear, from now on no more automatic rematches! Unless we write it so that it’s okay for an automatic rematch. Writer high five! WINNER: Usos via writerly excellence

WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Match: Sasha Banks & Bayley vs. Nia Jax & Tamina

Justin Watry: No explanation needed. WINNER: Bayley/Sasha Banks

Steve Cook: It was a nice feel-good moment for Sasha & Bayley to win the tag straps at Elimination Chamber. Fastlane isn’t about nice feel-good moments though, it’s setting the stage for WrestleMania. Nia & Tamina do that by beating the crap out of Boss & Hug. Easiest pick of the night here…have you seen Sasha’s title defense record since entering WWE? Turrible! WINNER: Nia & Tamina

Jake Chambers: The tag team titles no one asked for (except for those plants in the audience) are about to prove why nobody asked for them (to be honest, I don’t think we even need men’s tag team championships). In a “division” where there has yet to be ONE awesome tag match, the chances of this breaking that streak have got to be about as realistic as Nia Jax’s pre-wrestling career as a model, Tamina being related to The Rock, Sasha Banks punching her way out of a wet paper bag or Bayley’s finishing move being a real finishing move. WINNER: Boss ‘n’ Hog via devastating belly-to-belly suplex

WWE Smackdown Women’s Championship Match: Asuka vs. Mandy Rose

Justin Watry: You almost forget that Asuka is the current Women’s Champion for the blue brand. She beat Charlotte Flair and Becky Lynch to claim the title in December. Plus, a month latwr, she made The Man tap out clean. Yet, now she is feuding with Mandy Rose on the Road to WM…and might face Lacey Evans next? Uh oh. A far cry from two years undefeated, NXT Women’s Champion and Royal Rumble winner. WINNER: Asuka

Steve Cook: Part of me is pulling for Mandy Rose (not that wa-well, never mind) because I love watching the world burn, and Wrestling Twitter would be set ablaze if the immortal Asuka was felled by a woman many believe shouldn’t be in the ring because she’s attractive & stuff. Alas, I don’t have the testicular fortitude to go with my ever-expanding gut. WINNER: Asuka

Jake Chambers: Hmm, can I really see the rarely-used Asuka losing her title to a blonde American “beauty” who is actually part of Smackdown storylines? Uh,yeah! I’d almost want to call Asuka’s booking racist, but then I realize how well perennial Japan pro-wrestling main event-ers Shinsuke Nakamura, Io Shirai, Akira Tozawa, and Hideo Itami have been used… oh, never mind. WINNER: Mandy via blonde-ness

Becky Lynch Goes Joins WrestleMania Raw Women’s Title Match With a Win: Charlotte Flair vs. Becky Lynch

Justin Watry: Pretty easy to call, unless WWE wants to give us a funky finish to prolong the inevitable another week or two. I hope not. Becky Lynch wins the Fastlane main event to go onto win the WrestleMania main event. Simple stuff. First Charlotte, then Ronda Rousey. More discussion on this entire situation is in the 411 Forecast Wrestling Podcast. I’m looking forward to it. WINNER: Becky Lynch

Steve Cook: This seems like the biggest foregone conclusion of the night, but we all know they can find a way to put Becky into the WrestleMania match without getting the win here. Perhaps she can hold Stephanie hostage with a pop gun, or drive a Guinness truck down towards the ring. While that’s going on, Ronda can berate Charlotte whilst using her shoot name & running down the list of Flair family follies. There’s a lot of stuff to unpack in this feud, and we’re just getting started.WINNER: Becky Lynch

Jake Chambers: Let’s clarify: Becky Lynch was beaten clean by Asuka at Royal Rumble, tapped out even, then walked into the Royal Rumble Match (as the last entrant even) and was gifted the win without deserving or earning it in that match, hasn’t beaten anyone of consequence since, and was just thoroughly destroyed by Ronda Rousey on Monday Night Raw, like destroyed destroyed. Wins in the WWE mean nothing, getting your ass kicked means nothing, and logic in a storyline clearly means nothing, because we all know Becky Lynch is going to be in the Wrestlemania “main event” even if she comes out for this match as the un-ironic new Doink, performs only moves from the Bushwackers arsenal, gives a promo like a young Chris Benoit, and gets pinned faster than SD Jones from a King Kong Bundy avalanche. WINNER: Charlotte via thorough and inconsequential ass kicking

The Shield vs. Baron Corbin, Drew McIntyre and Bobby Lashley

Justin Watry: Of these six men, we only know for certain what one man is doing cone next month. That is Seth Rollins. The rest…who knows? Is Lio Rush wrestling Lashley? Is Drew McIntyre taking on Kurt Angle? What about Baron Corbin? That’s not even bringing up Dean Ambrose who is set to leave the company soon and Roman Reigns who just came back. Complete opposite ends Of the stick. My solution – go back to Reigns vs. Ambrose as was the original plan late last year. Do another fake out turn from The Lunatic Fringe and have a WM caliber battle with The Big Dog before departing WWE. Until then, The Shield gets one final moment together. WINNER: The Shield

Steve Cook: I take back what I said about Becky vs. Charlotte. THIS is the biggest foregone conclusion of the night. If Baron freaking Corbin and his pack of goofs goes over the Big Dog in his first match back because WWE wants them to get that precious heat, all we can hope for is AEW’s television debut the next night on a major network. Give the fans what they want. Please? WINNER: The Shield

Jake Chambers: I’m sure you all remember that time everyone thought the eventual Shield 3-Way Match was gonna be huge and awesome? Dud. Then remember how everyone then thought the eventual Shield reunion was gonna be awesome and huge? Double dud. Well, this time it’s like buying coke from a 4th-tier dealer who’s also cut it so extra you’re basically getting all baby laxative. Also, on another note, does anyone remember Braun Strowman? WINNER: Shield via watered-down Powerbomb

WWE Championship Match: Daniel Bryan vs. Kevin Owens

JUSTIN WATRY: Sami Zayn returns to cost Kevin Owens the WWE Championship. They have a bout at Mania, which clears the path for Kofi Kingston to challenge Bryan for the title. Win win! As much of a mess as this whole picture looks like right now, I do believe the company has an endgame in mind. Bryan walks into WM35 one year after coming out of retirement as the WWE Champion. Very cool story. Never say never folks… WINNER: Daniel Bryan

Steve Cook: KO’s comeback as a decent fella that’s just like the WWE Universe would be complete with a WWE Championship victory, wouldn’t it? Alas, life isn’t that easy for people that are just like the WWE Universe. Owens is going to have to overcome some obstacles, including a more popular challenger that will get his shot at WrestleMania unless everybody has gone insane. Bryan continues saving the planet…for now. WINNER: Daniel Bryan

Jake Chambers: The Kevin Owens Fastlane curse in full effect! In 2017 he had that lame duck main event for the useless Universal Title against an opponent who was willing to bump for him less than Pacman Jones. On that night, he was the victim of the dreaded “entrance music” distraction that cost him that (un)coveted belt, in a match every fan knew was just going to be a lame beat on the way to two predetermined Wrestlemania matches. Sounds familiar, huh? If I was Kevin Owens, I wouldn’t bother training in the gym with jujitsu black belts in order to defend against the ground game of Daniel Bryan, but rather I’d practice NOT automatically turning my back on my opponent to stare at the entrance way whenever Sami Zayn’s perky so-cal ska punk music unexpectedly plays. WINNER: Bryan via roll-up from entrance music distraction

The 411 on Wrestling Podcast returns after a long hiatus to the 411 Podcasting Network. On today’s show, 411’s Larry Csonka discuses Jushin Liger’s retirement, Tommaso Ciampa’s neck injury, previews the WWE Fastlane PPV, and discusses his recent medical issues, which led to his absence in early 2019. The show is approximately 33 minutes long.

Intro
Liger – 3:30
Ciampa – 6:20
Fastlane – 9:40
Personal Update – 23:45