411’s WWE Sunday Night Heat Report 08.24.03

411’s WWE Sunday Night Heat Report
LIVE this week from Phoenix, AZ
Exclusive 411 Report by Alex Obal

Coach and Al are your hosts, and they’re sitting on a platform outside the arena. That’s a neat change.

Partial rundown of tonight’s card:

– Elimination Chamber Match for the World Hvt. Title
– Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff in a Supposed Dream Match
– Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle for the WWE Title
– Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

We get a video recap of the Kane/RVD feud.

Coach and Al discuss the match tonight.

Tonight’s Heat main event is Rey Mysterio vs. Shannon Moore for the Cruiserweight Title.

It’s almost 120 degrees outside, according to a thermometer on the announcers’ platform.

We get to see the intense, captivating and thrilling Eric Bischoff/Linda McMahon segment from Monday.

Shane McMahon arrives. Lilian Garcia tries to get an interview with him, but he just walks past. He looks really angry.

Lugz/Funkmaster Flex Boot of the Week: A-Train squashes Stephanie in an intense, captivating and thrilling match.

Undertaker was on Jimmy Kimmel Live this past week, and got into a pillow fight.

Coach and Al don’t think there will be any pillows involved when Undertaker fights A-Train.

We go inside to Tazz and Michael Cole, who mock Coach and Al for being outside when it’s so hot out.

We get a video recap of Vengeance’s triple-threat match and the Angle/Lesnar feud.

St. Anger is still the theme song for Summerslam.

Dudley Boyz interview. Terri notes that La Rйsistance has left them buried under the US flag and basically beaten them down for the past few weeks. D-Von provides insight while Bubba holds an American flag. “Terri, tonight it’s me and Bubba’s own personal D-day. That is 3 things. For two weeks, La Rйsistance has left us laying. For two weeks they’ve sat there and laid the American flag on us, and as much as [?] spit on the flag. It’s not gonna happen anymore, Terri. Because tonight, the Dudley Boyz are gonna get their revenge. We’re gonna do what we do best. And if that means smashing skulls and beating the hell out of somebody, if that means leaving French blood all over US soil, then so be it. Because tonight we’re coming here for one thing and one thing only, and that’s to regain our world tag team titles back. Oh my sister, TESTIFY.”

Video rundown of the full card:
– Elimination Chamber Match for the World Hvt. Title
– Zach Gowen vs. Matt Hardy
– Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff
– Tajiri vs. Rhyno vs. Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero for the Intercontinental Title
– Rob van Dam vs. Kane
– Undertaker vs. A-Train
– La Rйsistance vs. Dudley Boyz for the World Tag Team Titles
– Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Replay of Brock Lesnar vs. Zach Gowen from Smackdown.

Cole and Tazz note that Gowen’s leg is broken in two places, and so Gowen vs. Hardy is off tonight’s card.

Matt Facts: Matt’s oponents often no-show because of fear, and Matt has the memory of an elephant. Hey, an elephant never forgets, so Matt must have a good memory!

“Zach Attack, where are ya? I know everyone wondering if Zach Gowen’s gonna be here tonight because of his minor injuries he sufered at the hands of Brock, whatever. Last Thursday on SmackDown I hurt my neck, but Matt Hardy’s still here, Mattitude’s still here! Zach, I know you’re missing one leg and the other one’s broken, but you’ve still got two perfectly good arms, and I’m sure between both of our injuries, we could have a great, competitive, and entertaining matchup. But that’s not going to happen, is it, Zach? You’re not going to allow that to happen because everything I’ve said about you the past few weeks has been absolutely true. Zach Gowen doesn’t belong in the WWE. [Mild pop, then boos.] You see, real wrestlers compete whether they’re hurt or they’re not, but I guess that Zach, the Novelty Act – God, I hate winning by forfeit, but go ahead and do your thing, ref. Go ahead and make this happen.”

Match #1: MATT HARDY, VERSION 1 vs. ZACH GOWEN (no-show)

Zach’s not here, so we have a forfeit.

Winner via forfeit: MATT HARDY, VERSION 1

Matt celebrates.

JVC Extreme Blast of the Night: Eddie Guerrero whacks everybody.

Stacker 2’s YJ Stinger is sponsoring Summerslam.

Main Event of the Evening:
Match #2: REY MYSTERIO vs. SHANNON MOORE for the WWE Cruiserweight Title

Wow! A cruiserweight match on Heat! I’m honored. The bell rings. Lockup. They break it up. Rights from Rey. Whip by Rey is reversed, and Shannon gets a kick and goes for a back suplex. Rey escapes it and ends up with control. Whip by Rey cross-corners, but he charges into a boot. Rey charges Shannon again, but Shannon hiptosses his head into the turnbuckle. Cool spot. Rights by Shannon, but Rey gets up to his feet. Shannon tries the back suplex again, and this time it works. Cover gets 2. Whip by Shannon, Rey reverses, sunset flip by Shannon but Rey rolls through and hits a seated dropkick to the face. Rey’s on the apron. Shannon charges into a shoulder thrust. Springboard senton by Rey. Shannon whips Rey into the corner. Rey dodges. Shannon charges into an elbow. Shannon hits the corkscrew moonsault, but Rey kicks out. Shannon’s a little upset over that one. Whip by Shannon. Rey tries to baseball slide under the legs. Shannon catches him, but Rey ends up headscissors-taking-down Shannon into 619 position. 619 connects and Rey hits a semi-botched West Coast Pop from the top rope for the pin.

Winner and still WWE Cruiserweight Champion: REY MYSTERIO via pinfall

JR and the King sell the Elimination Chamber one more time, and we get a final video package.

That’s all. Enjoy Summerslam if you’re ordering it.