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Acero’s WWE RAW Review 12.7.20
Image Credit: WWE
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Hey all! 2020 takes another one! We are currently in the middle of yet another lockdown, and although a majority of my friends wanna blame the governor, I gotta admit that there’s at least one person in the mirror they can blame first. I’ve also learned that Jameson and Peach Mango Bang Energy drink is a volatile mixture, but damn it’s good.
This report produced by Joseph Park.
We start the show with a ten-bell salute for Patterson, then get a recap of A Moment of Bliss with Orton from last week, complete with Orton laughing and asking about laughing.
We head to the ring in real time, and Orton stands in the center looking like he forgot to turn the stove off.
He says that any ordinary man would tremble at the thought of facing The Fiend, but he is no ordinary man. He smashed his moral compass years ago, and unlike The Fiend, he doesn’t need to wear a mask to let the darkness out. He is the most evil son of a bitch on planet earth, also. He says today, he’ll be knocking on that funhouse door, waiting and wondering who will let him in.
Firefly Funhouse music hits, and the screen lights up in primary colors. Bray waves, and says hello to Randy. He says Alexa would have been here, but since Orton was so mean to her last week, Bray is all alone.
Orton warns him that he is the last person to play games with.
Bray hears “game” and we are welcomed to “Let’s Get Randy,” a game show where Ramblin Rabbit, Huskus, and Mercy play for a prize. I suppose it’s not the worst thing that Bray has done.
Orton wants a match. Tonight. He’ll see The Fiend at TLC, but tonight, Orton wants a match with Bray. Bray accepts and waves bye bye.
We are informed, after a recap of last week, that Lana and Asuka get a title shot at TLC.
Asuka is here with her partner for some action next.
Nia hypes Shayna up backstage.
Match 1: Asuka vs Shayna Baszler
Asuka locks up. Shayna shoves. Another lockup and Asuka hooks the leg and gets in an ankle lock. Shayna pulls Asuka in for an elbow then works the leg. Asuka kicks out of it, grabbing the shin of Shayna. Shayna with a heel hook, but Asuka grabs the ankle and spins Shayna on her stomach, locking the leg with her legs. Shayna stands out of the hold, locks up from behind, and hits a back suplex. Asuka rolls to the outside. Shayna follows. Nia shoves Lana as we go to commercial.
We return to Baszler working the left arm of Asuka on the mat. She pulls back on the wrist, but Asuka isn’t going down without a fight. She reaches turns this over into. Pin and gets a 1..2..NO!!! Missed high kick fro mAsuka. Kick to the leg from Shayna. Another kick from Shayna. Asuka don’t care, she’s taking them. Another kick. She misses a fourth kick and Asuka with a GERMAN! Elbow out of the corner from Asuka. Codebreaker from Asuka. She runs for a hip attack, but Shayna lifts the knees. Asuka flies, arm bar out of the sky! Asuka turns it into a pin, gets a 1..2..NO!!! Asuka goes for the Asuka Lock.
Nia, on the outside, tackles Lana. This distracts Asuka, Shayna attacks from behind. Lana sends Nia into the steps. She hops on the steps, flies, and Nia catches her.
Lana with a rana, sending Nia into the announce table. Shayna points at Lana, yelling at her, telling her to get back here. Asuka rolls her up for a 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Asuka
A good start to an ok match surrounded by a shitty story, culminating in a nonsensical ending.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 8:31
Last Monday, Woods and Cedric went at it, and Cedric got the win.
The Hurt Business is backstage, and decides to a bully a boy with a box.
Later tonight, Sheamus and Drew face Miz, Morrison, and Styles.
Also tonight, Ricochet will team with Dana Brooke to take on Slapjack and Reckoning.
Backstage, Dana is showing her black eye to Ricochet. In comes Riddle with some “BRONUTTS”. He is looking for MVP. He congrats the crew on their tag match tonight. He offers his Bronutts, then says if they see Hurt Business, let him know.
In comes Sarah. What propelled him to drop the lonely crusade and team with Dana Brooke. Ricochet calls Retribution complete jackasses and says there is strength in numbers, so tonight they will show Retribution what real change is all about.
Dana talks of defeating Reckoning, which makes me wonder why she would have to do it again. She says she is down to slap around Ali a bit. She says she owes Reckoning one tonight.
Match 2: Reckoning and Slapjack (w/ Mustafa Ali) vs Ricochet and Dana Brooke
Dana slaps the mask off of Mia. Mia returns the favor. They mount each other, each getting some licks in, then Mia whips Dana into the corner and gives a big boot to the face of Dana. Dana with a step-up enziguri. Tag to Ricochet who hurricanranas Slapjack out of the ring, then hits the ropes and flies over the top rope. Ali screams at Ricochet, saying he belongs with them. Ricochet run in and Slappy hits a Falcon Arrow! Pin for 1..2..NO!!!! Running cannonball into the corner, but Ricochet leaves.
Tag to Mia. She runs in with a dropkick to Dana. Ali yells at Mia to do something, but she screams that she’s got this. She turns, and Dana hits a sitout slam off the shoulders and a pin for 1..2…3!!!
Winners: Ricochet and Dana Brooke
If this leads to Mia losing the mask and finding her own way, I suppose it’s ok, even though it’s going to take a hell of a lot of retcon.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 1:40
Ali runs into the ring to berate Mia. He yells that they embarrassed him. He pulled them up. This is how they repay him? He leaves the ring as Ricochet and Dana flex at the top of the ramp.
Keith Lee walks up to Sheamus to tell him that no one buys his good guy routine, and it’s only a matter of time until he stabs on Drew in the back. Sheamus says excuse him while he turns on the champion and beats the hell out of him.
BACK FROM THE BREAK, and The Miz and Morrison are in the middle of the ring. They have a special guest. He is the self-proclaimed Phenomenal One.
AJ makes his entrance, with his bug guy in tow. Miz apologizes because he couldn’t find a chair big enough for Aj’s bodyguard. Aj says he prefers to stand. Miz brings up the match with Drew coming up, saying it is a TLC match. What’s the plan?
AJ says this is the first time he’s ever faced Drew, but it’s pretty simple – he’s going to take a steel chair and wrap it around Drew’s back until it breaks. Every table he sees, he’s putting Drew through it. He’ll be coughing up splinters for months. Drew is huge, his heart is bigger, his strength and passion shine through, but it all won’t mean a thing when he knocks him out cold and climbs up to grab the title.
Miz and Morrison say that’d be great to see…IF Drew even makes it. Miz does some sort of weird accent. Morrison tries to mock Drew. Miz and Morrison go back and forth, doing shitty accents to one another. END SCENE.
AJ says that was so good. Morrison says he has been watching a lot of Shrek.
Sheamus comes out, says this was brilliant, nailed the accents right down to it. Hats off. Top notch. But as entertaining as this was, he is sick to the back of his teeth of people telling him how he is going to betray Drew. Sheamus says he can transport himself back to a pub in Dublin if he closes his eyes. But truth is, if this was a pub in Dublin, he’d nail their arses to the bar and do a buncha other stuff that sounds too cool to recap.
Miz does his CORRECT thing that I won’t give any extra time to.
Sheamus does have a friend, though, and his sword is unsheathed.
Where does Drew begin? How bout with AJ. So hostile. So many threats. Drew makes promises, not threats. He gives props to Miz and Morrison for keep coming back for more. Guys in the locker room have been talking crap, though. Saying Miz has no balls. Drew knows it’s not true. He has balls, just not his original pair. It’s clear Maryse keeps them in her purse and he has replaced them with Morrison’s.
AJ is outside with his Kevin Costner and says it’s four on two. So Drew and Sheamus clear the ring of Miz and Morrison, proving that math is irrelevant.
Drew throws Miz’ briefcase all the way across the ramp onto the stage, breaking a portion of the LED board.
Match 3: Kofi Kingston vs Shelton Benjamin
Shelton out the gate with some heavy hitting offense, including a knee and a big boot. He covers twice, doesn’t get the win, lifts Kofi, and slams him down with a body slam. Shelton gets Kofi in the corner, whips, rushes, and Kofi drops him with a knee…sorta. Chop to Shelton. Another. High kick to the side of the face. Kofi hits the ropes, misses a clothesline, Shelton kicks, whips, Kofi flies off the top, locks up. SOS—nO!!! Shelton with a gutwrench into a powerbomb for 1..2..NO!!!! Shelton with an ankle lock!
We get some work on the outside, Kofi rolls into the ring, ref gets to a count of eight. Kofi with a Trouble in Paradise. Pin for 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Kofi Kingston
There’s a story here. It’s weak.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 3:21
Cedric says no, they need to run that back. Cedric wants Kofi back in the ring. He is going to wipe the floor with Kofi. Woods wonders how many times. Woods lips back to the ring, ready to give Cedric what he wants.
Match 4: Kofi Kingston vs Cedric Alexander
Match already going when we return. Cedric attacks in the corner. We see a recap of Kofi landing awkwardly in the previous match. Cedric sends Kofi outside then grabs his leg and whiplashes it. He rolls Kofi into the ring and covers for 1..2.NO!!! Cedric works the leg, punching the knee, standing, then bending Kofi into a DDT to the leg. Cedric drags Kofi into the middle of the ring, locks the hold in again. Chop from Kofi, another, he spins into a pin, nearly gets the win, but Cedric kicsk out. Kofi with a sloppy SOS, rolls into a pin for 1..2…NO!!!! Kick to the knee from Cedric. Brainbuster and a pni for 1..2…..NO!!!! Cedric gets Kofi in the corner. Ref counts, Cedric releases the leg. Kfo to the top rope, Cedric punches in the corner. He hops up. Locks the head.
Kofi drops Cedric chest first onto the mat. Kofi stands. Flies. Lands on his leg, Cedric grabs him. LUMBAR CHECK! Pin for 1..2….3!!!
Winner: Cedric Alexander
Not to say that this was bad, but we saw a couple of weeks ago, Kofi be the voice of reason, saying it was his day off so there wasn’t a need to wrestle – and that they’ve already beaten The Hurt Business, so there isn’t really a reason to face them again. Then, this week, we get Kofi pulling the Woods move of letting pride win. It’s out of character only due to seeing the opposite just a few weeks ago.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 4:18
Match 5: The Miz, John Morrison, and AJ Styles vs Sheamus and Drew McIntyre
Morrison and Drew to start. Drew with a hard right, knocking Morrison on his ass. Drew sends Morrison into the corner. Drew wants AJ. AJ says no, so Drew headbutts Morrison and tags in Sheamus. They double team Morrison a bit then Sheamsu gets a side headlock takedown. He spins Morrison then gets locked up by John. Rope work and Morrison kicks off of it. Right hand to Sheamus. Sheamus with an axe handle. Again. Right hand to AJ. He then traps Morrison up on the ropes. Miz distracts. Morrison locks up with leg scissors and tosses Sheamus outside the ring. Drew runs around as Miz tries to attack Sheamus. Sheamus nearly hits Drew as Miz ducks. Drew tells Sheamus to get his head in the game. Morrison flies out of the ring, but Drew and Sheamus catch him and toss him over their head.
WE RETURN to Sheamus flying off the 2nd rope with a knee to the face of The Miz. Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Sheamus drags Miz over to his corner. Tag to Drew. Drew sends Miz into the corner. Chop to The Miz. Tag to Sheamsu and they toss Miz like nothing across the ring. Kick to the chest of Miz. Sheamus drags Miz over to the corner by his mouth, tags in Drew. They hip toss Miz together. Drew wants AJ. Jawbreaker from Miz. Miz sends Drew into the corner with shoulders. AJ finally tags himself in to continue the shoulders in the corner. Tag to Morrison, who hits Drew in the back of the head before entering and hitting a bunch of right hands. Tag to Miz, Morrison kicks once more before leaving the ring. Mi chokes Drew up in the corner. Drew punches out of the corner. Hits AJ, Morrison, tag to Sheamus. Chop from Drew to Miz. Another, kick to the gut. Sheamus tosses Miz to the apron. He lifts up and beats down the chest. Rolling senton from Sheamus. He grabs Morrison off the apron and pulls him into the ring. MIZ with a RAKE OF THE EYES!!! Miz clips the leg from behind. Kick to the face. Miz chokes Sheamus up on the ropes. Kick from Morrison as the ref is distracted. Tag to Morrison. Gutbreaker from both men, then a right to the back of the head. Cover for 1..2….NO!!! Right hands and stomps from Morrison. Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Kicks from Morrison. Right hand to the jaw. Kick to the chest. Another, Sheamus grabs the boot, shoves Morrison away, Morrison rolls over Sheamus and locks the head! Gator roll to the corner. AJ tags in and stomps.
AJ pulls Sheamus out of the corner. Kick from AJ. Sheamus grabs the legs, AJ chokes him up. Sheamus lifts Aj, Aj rolls through with a Calf Crusher! Drew in to break the submission. AJ is pissed and shocked, saying Drew is a lucky man. AJ locks the head of Sheamus, Sheamus lifts. WHITE NOISE!!! Tag to Drew. Tag to Morrison. Clothesline from Drew. Another. Whip to the ropes, BELLY TO BELLY! Another out of the corner! Miz in the ring. BELLY TO BELLY to both Miz and Morrison! Drew with a double underhook, Morrison escapes, breaks the hold, hits the ropes, BACK BODY DROP WITH MORRISON DOING A 360!!!!! Drew calls for the Claymore, but Miz pulls Morrison out of the ring. AJ with a kick to the back of the head as the ref is distracted. Sheamus tags in. AJ tags in.
IRISH CURSH TO AJ!!! BROGUE TO MIZ!!!!!! Elbow from Morrison, misses a crossbody, BROGUE KICK TO DREW!!!! PHENOMENAL FOREARM!!! Pin for 1..2…3!!!
Winners: AJ Styles, John Morrison, and The Miz
There’s gotta be something more compelling to do than the whole “Accidental move hitting supposed friend” storyline that has been done again and again. Aside from that, this match was a lot of fun, definitely the highlight of the night, and only The Miz looked like a jobber. You know, the guy with the briefcase…yeah, him.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 15:41
BACKSTAGE, Lana says she cant face Nia next week; she will be slaughtered. She won’t. She can’t. Asuka wants her to say she believes in herself. She can beat Nia Jax. Asuka leaves, Lana chants that she can beat Nia Jax. She turns, and Nia is there, hands on hips. Nia shakes her head no.
Sheamus is backstage, says he knows Drew is going to come back here and try and kick his ass. Sheamus will try and kick his. He says it wasn’t intentional.
Drew comes in. Sheamus says it wasn’t intentional. Drew says he knows. But Sheamus knows exactly what’s about to happen, right?
Aaaaand we go to commercial.
WE COME BACK and Drew and Sheamus are going at it backstage! Wrestlers are everywhere, cheering them on. Drew has his phone out. In comes the red headed producer to break the fight up. He finally stops both of them, Sheamus and Drew look him over the nbeat his ass. They rip his suit off of his body and slam him into a nearby table for catering. Drew laughs it off along with Sheamus.
Drew: “Pint?”
Sheamus: “Pint.”
Yes.
Before Jeff heads out, Riddle comes up to tell him that his heart hurt more than his head from the attack last week. He wants to become The Hardy Bros with Jeff. Their finisher could be Broetry in Motion. Jeff tells him he’s gotta go.
Jeff acts like a nice guy wrestler running into a fan at the airport.
Match 6: Bobby Lashley vs Jeff Hardy
Lashley overpowers Jeff then sends him into the corner face first. Back elbow to Jeff. Another. Another. Right hand from Lashley. Lashley sits on Jeff’s back hard. He chokes Jeff up in the corner Lashley sends Jeff into the corner face firt. Right hand to Jeff. Lashley hits the ropes. Clothesline in the corner. Lashley goes for another, Jeff kicks out of the corner, hits the ropes, Leap frog from Lashley. He lfits Jeff. Gutwrench but Jeff spins and lands on his feet. Leg drop from Jeff. He kicks. Twist of Fa—no!!! Half Nelson! Jeff tries to block! Jeff elbows out. Back elbow to Lashley. MVP on the apron. Jeff climbs the corner. The distraction works. Lashley gets Jeff on his shoulders. Riddle is here to pull the legs out from MVP! Jeff sends Lshley yo the outside! Jeff on the apron. He flies with a clothesline!
WE RETURN and it looks like Jeff got tossed into the ringpost while we were being shown ads. Lashley gets in the face of Riddle. Before heading over to Jeff, who is laid out on the mat outside. He drives Jeff into the barricade then back into the ring. Lashley gets Jeff in the corner. He hangs him up in the tree of woe. Lashley with a suplex. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Lashley tries for the Full Nelson again, but Lashley rolls him down to the mat and locks in the sleeper! Elbows from Jeff! Lashley rolls and gets above Jeff, holding the sleeper from behind. Jeff elbows out. Atomic drop. Leg drop. Dropkick. Splash to Lashley. 1…2..NO!!! Jeff to the top rope! Whisper in the Wind! Cover for 1…2.. NO!!!
FLATLINER FROM LASHLEY! 1…2….NO!!!! Jeff kicks. TWIST OF FATE! Jeff to the top rope! He dives off, lands on his feet. Lashley is up. SPEAR!!!! FULL NELSON. Jeff taps.
Winner: Bobby Lashley
This was way better than it had any right to be. For the second week in a row, Jeff really showed up and proved me wrong, and Lashley continues to show that, when motivated, the boy can go. I’m impressed.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 13:09
Lashley won’t release the hold. Riddle heads in. Lashley tosses Jeff into Riddle.
BACKSTAGE, Orton ponders his life choices. Someone knocks on his door. No one is there. He turns, and Ramblin Rabbit pokes his head in. He says Bray cant wait to see him in the ring; it’s going to be so much fun.
Match 7: Bray Wyatt vs Randy Orton
They lockup, Orton with a side headlock. Bray sends him to the ropes. Shoulder tackle sends Orton down hard. Bray is excited. Orton stands slowly. Kick to Bray. He uppercuts Bray to the outside. Orton grabs Bray and slams him onto the table. He lifts for a back suplex, but Bray scrapes the face and hits one on Orton atop the table! Bray chases Phillips, who cowers over the barricade down to the floor. Bray grabs the headset and says they’ll be right back.
We are back, and Orton is choking Bray out in the corner with his boot only for Bray to smile in enjoyment. Uppercuts to the throat from Bray. Orton fires out of the corner. He scrapes the face then hits the ropes and drops a knee. Cover for 1…..NO!!! Orton stomps Bray. Cravat from behind, and Bray is still all smiles. Bray breaks the hold. He elbows out. Orton kicks, hits the ropes, slams Bray down. Orton covers again but only gets a 1. Cravat from behind. Elbows from Bray. Kick from Orton. Hits the ropes. Clothesline from Bray! Bray hangs upside down in the corner. Right hand to orton. Another. Orton misses a clothesline. Atomic Drop. Clotheslin in the corner, hits the ropes, hard crossbody. DDT from Bray! 1…2….NO!!!! Sister Abigail attempt but Orton escapes and hits a neckbreaker. Pin for 1..2…NO!!! Orton stomps the right leg. He drags Bray up on the apron, headbutts him hard, sending Bray down to the mat. Orton follows and hits a back suplex to Bray onto the announce table. Orton sends him back into the ring. Orton crawls into the ring, hits the ropes, runs into….SISTER AB—NO!!! Thumb to the eye! Orton whips Bray to the apron. Right hands to Bray. He locks the head. DDT TO BRAY! Orton calls for the end.
Some lights go out. Bray stands. RKO TO BRAY!!! Cover! WE GET COMPLETE DARKNESS!
Lights back to red. Bray is gone, but The Fiend is there, underneath Orton! Orton turns, sees him. The Mandible Claw!!! The Fiend chokes Orton out as Orton’s fight withers away underneath him.
Winner:
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 12:13
End Show
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