wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s WWE RAW Review 5.13.24
Image Credit: WWE
Loading...Michael Ornelas is back with a full review of all things Chipotle! He also covers the specificity of bathroom door codes.
Thank GOD for the lengthy Backlash recap, because I am late as fuuuuuuu.
We see some Superstars show up early for work, then head to Drew McIntyre walking with steam towards the ring from the back. He tells the crowd, who is chanting for Punk, that he only comes out to the big cities. He says we keep taking Punk back, it’s like an abusive relationship, he doesn’t understand it. We buy all the crap he spews. He calls us stupid, even though he doesn’t like to. Last week, Punk calls him a coward, not showing up till he leaves. It’s like he’s got a stooge on the inside – and blames Adam Pearce. The week before, Drew’s on the stage, Punk is in the skybox. Punk is running from him. He will no longer waste his time on a person who may not be cleared for another twenty years.
Speaking of things that’ll never happen, Jey lost another title match. His award? His spot in the KotR. He brings up Priest, calls him a paper champion, and this brings out Priest.
Damien Priest comes out with what seems like new music, complete with him saying “All rise” repeatedly, among other things, in the background.
Priest snickers at Drew as he makes his entrance and grabs a mic.
He says Drew has some serious issues. Since Drew cant shut his hole, how about he does something different. How about Drew says what he says to someone’s face.
Priest would love to, but Punk keeps running away. Since Priest is here, he’ll say something positive. He knows Priests’ story, it’s inspirational. He’s paid his dues, he deserves it all, just not to be champion. Drew says his neighbor Dave has a great story, too, but he shouldn’t be champion, This is a case of the title making the man. This title is in its infant stages, it needs the man to make the title. It needs Drew. Priest knew he couldn’t beat Drew one-on-one, so he used the briefcase.
Priest calls him delusional, says he is blaming everyone for his failures. Didn’t he choose this life? He chose to be a WWE Superstar. He should choose to find a mirror, and blame the asshole in the mirror. He wanted to cash in on Rollins. He and Drew could have went to war at Mania, but Drew stopped him. Multiple times. That’s Drew’s fault. Then Drew explained that if Priest was smart, he’d wait for Drew to beat Seth, then cash in on him. That’s on Drew. Then Mania comes, he finally won. All he had to do was leave. But he stayed. He gloated. He saw Punk and made him more important than the title and his wife. He also got his ass beat by a one-armed man. So yeah, Priest cashed in. Drew will heal, he’ll get cleared. If Drew wants a shot, he’s got it. He can call Priest a paper champ all he wants, but when he’s done with Drew, he’ll eat those words.
We cover the Queen of the Ring Tournament from last week and where we are tonight.
After that, we head to earlier tonight where Shayna and Iyo got into a shoving match outside.
Iyo Sky makes her entrance, and as she poses on the ropes, Shayna Baszler comes from off-screen to choke her down to the mat outside and attack. Refs break them up as we head to break.
Queen of the Ring Quarterfinals Match
Iyo Sky vs Shayna Baszler
We come to the match in progress. COLE brings up their time in Stardom as Iyo tries to springboard onto Shayna. A QR Code comes up and commentary makes mention of it. Shayna grabs Iyo in a arm lock and hangs her over the top rope, just letting Iyo drag down. Shayna uses the 5 count, then heads down and sends Iyo into the ringside, again, then the apron. Shayna sends Iyo into the ring. She rolls in to follow. Iyo rolls back out. Shayna follows. She kicks Iyo in the back then lifts the apron for some more damage She brings Iyo over to the ring mat ropes that are tied to the ring structure, and kicks the arm hard. Shayna sends Iyo into the ring. Shayna follows, rolls in at 8, and covers for 1..2….NO! Shayna tries to break the arm, but iyo trips her up. Rope work and Iyo with a standing rana. She kicks the side of the head of Shayna. Double underhook from Iyo. Shayna with a clutch from behind, but Iyo escapes, Shayna works the arm, puts her foot under the armpit and falls back! Running high knee to the corner by Shayna! She splits the legs and crawls the corner. Shayna locks the hips, Iyo elbows the back. Shayna tries to gutwrench, Iyo falls on the mat feet first, and shoves Shayna. Shayna hangs upside down in th corner. The ref hells Shayna fall from the hung position. Iyo with an Asai Moonsault!
We are BACK and Iyo has Shayna cornered. She rushes and Shayan sends her to the apron. High kick but Iyo catches it and sends Shayna flying to the center of the ring. Iyo with a double knee to the back. She covers for 1..2.NO!!! Iyo tries for a moonsault, Baszler with the feet up, Iyo catches the boot, pins with a bridge for 1…NO!!! Shayna with a clutch from behind! Iyo flips into a pin, Shayna spins, Iyo locks in the STF! Shayna t oth her knees! She locks the head, slams the back on the knee, running knee. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Shayan up first,
Iyo on her knees, Baszler runs with a kick but Iyo catches. Dragon Screw. Iyo with a running double knee to the chest! Steps on the stomach. To the top rope! OVER THE MOONSAULT!!!! Cover! 1..2…3!!!!!!
Winner: Iyo Sky
Hot damn, that coulda went another five and been just as good, if not better. Beautiful.
Total Rating: 10:49
Match Time: ***3/4
Iyo gets some mic time after her match. She is asked what’s next, and Iyo speaks Japanese, but basically alludes to being champion again.
Backstage, The Judgment Day are chatting along with Carlito. Dominik Mysterio thinks it’s time to speak. Carlito says Rhea is out, Dom is injured. They could use some muscle. All he is saying is they can all benefit mutually. Priest says this all sounds good. If the boys wanna work with him, that’s good. As far as Priest is concerned, Carlito is not welcome here.
Carlito gets it, Priest doesn’t trust him. He wants to just say this: the most stubborn minds can be changed. Maybe one day they can all be friends.
We are backstage, and Chad Gable is with the rest of The Alpha Academy. He berates Maxxine, says she was out galavanting all weekend. He says tonight, he has some action booked. We get Otis vs Sami and Akira vs Bronson. And if he does that dance….so help him.
Here comes Ivy Nile to tell Maxxine that she could have helped her with the QotR. Maxxine tells her that Gable told her she could no longer train outside of the Academy. Gable comes back to tell Maxxine to go away. He gives Ivy some advice, and tells her to stay away from Taylor Not-So-Swift.
We head to the ring where Samantha stands in the center to introduce…
LILLIAN GARCIA!!!
Samantha asks her to introduce the next match. Lillian says absolutely, then gives Samantha her flowers, tells her she is amazing and she is so proud of her.
R-Truth is backstage with Pearce. In comes The Miz to tell Truth to stop making title matches. Adam says they will not be defending their titles tonight, but he and Truth were talking about tag team number one contenders.
In comes Kiana James who will be adjudicatin for Pearce.
Before the match, Kofi attacks! He flies outside onto Gutnher then attacks the leg, swinging it into the LED apron. Kofi with stomps to the knees, He hits a right hand, but Gunther gets a chop in. Kofi stalls, Gunther whips him to the stairs, Kofi runs up them, runs up the corner, then turns and flies onto Gunther! Kofi sends Gunther into the ring, grabs th leg and drops some axes onto the knee. He pulls Gunther to the post and swings his leg into it. Kofi to the apron. He enters the ring. Kofi lays the boot across the ropes then pulls it down to lock up the leg. Kofi hits the ropes and dives with a droppkick to the side of the leg!
King of the Ring Quarterfinals Match
Kofi Kingston vs Gunther
The bell rings and Kofi shoots for a Trouble in Paradise. Gunther side steps, waist lock, tries for a German, Kofi lands on his feet, hits the ropes, kicks low! Kofi to the top rope! He dives with a BOOM DROP! Cover! 1.2….NO!!! Gunther rolls outside. Kofi hits the ropes! He dives! Gunther catches him! He sends Kofi into the apron. Huge chop to Kofi. Gunther drops Kofi back first onto the barricade. He lifts and drops Kofi back first onto the table. Gunther rips the top off, rolls into the ring to stop the count, and heads right back out. He turns Kofi onto his back, then locks in a Boston Crab on the announce table! The ref yells for him to stop. Gunther locks in a single leg.
We come back and both men are back in the ring. Gunther drags Kofi towards the apron. He hangs Kofi over the bottom rope then heads to the apron and stomps on the. Back. Whip from Gunther into the corner back first. Gunther lifts Kofi, Kofi wih a quick right hand. Chop to Gunther, right hand, kick to the thigh, another. Gunther lifts him and hits a body slam. Gunther with a knee to the back. He locks up the legs and gets a bow and arrow submission! Kofispins into a pin for 1`..2.NO!! Gunther with a big boot! Gunther drags Kofi into the center of the ring. He waits for Kofi to stand, Kofi kicks from below. He pulls himself u, kicks the back of the leg. Gunther with a chop. Jawbreaker from Kofi. Kofi hits the ropes, Gunther catches him. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker right onto the bad knee.
Kofi with a kick to the leg, another, another to the hammy. Gunther catches, hits a right to the kidney. Gunther locks up behind, rip cord, Kofi ducks under, tries for an SOS but Gunther lifts him up, Kofi lands over the head onto his feet, kick out of the corner, Kofi to the top rope. He flies with a crossbody! Kofi grabs Gunther, Gunther shoots the legs. BOSTON CRAB! Kofi tries to kick out, turns into the hold, kicks Gunther from below, another kick to the face, to the leg, He breaks it up. Gunther tries for a right, Kofi catches him. SOS and a cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Gunther dropkicks Kofi into the corner, ripcord clothesline, cover for 1..2.NO!! Gunther drags Kofi to the corner, then wraps his legs around the post! Kofi screams. Gunther releases and lifts Kofi for a powerbomb. Kofi slips down, and shoves Gunther into the ringpost! Trouble in Paradise!
The ref hits 8. Kofi makes it into the ring. Gunther stands at 8, turns at 9, runs into the ring just before 10!!!!
Kofi stands in the corner, runs, tries for Trouble in Paradise again, but Gunther side steps, catches Kofi, hits a huge powerbomb, stacked, 1..2..NO!!! BOSTON CRAB!!! Kofi taps!
Winner: Gunther
Deeyum, another great match! I mean, we knew Gunther was going to take this one, but Kofi still knows how to go.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 13:59
Backstage, Lyra Valkyrie is being interviewed about helping Becky. In comes Becky Lynch to hug her and thank her. Before she can get any real talk in, Liv Morgan comes up to her to welcome her to RAW then ask if Becky has always been such a bitch. Lyra tells Liv to ask her for herself, as Becky is standing behind Liv.
Becky slaps Liv, calls her a bitch, then walks away.
Backstage, Kofi is walking, holding his back. He is stopped by Karrion Cross who tells him tough talk, but don’t worry, there is always more time to turn things around. Xavier Woods walks in with crutches and some ice for Kofi. He asks what Cross wanted, and Kofi says he doesn’t know.
Bronson Reed vs Akira Tozawa
Akira flies…into the clutches of Reed. Reed orners him, Akira kicks out of the corner, an other kick, a spin kick misses o he hits another one. Akira to the top rope. Akira flies. Dropkick to Reed! Gable is screaming from ringside. Akira rips his shirt off and tosses it then heads to the top rope. Reed back up and front flips into powerbomb position.
Reed lifts Akira and hits a DVD then drags him over to the corner as Gable screams that he is an idiot. TSUNAMI!!!!!!
Winner: Bronson Reed
Squishy Squish Squish
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 1:10
Chad Gable runs into the ring and yells at Akira, pointing down at him as he does so.
Backstage, Gunther and Ludwig Kaiser are walking. Cathy stops them, but Gunther leaves as Kaiser addresses Cathy, asking why is she the first to bother Gunther. She brings up Ilja and their time in NXT. Kaiser says we are talking about the most successful IC champ of all time. Gunther doesn’t have to prove anything to anyone around her. As for Sheamus, if anyone out there believes – if even Sheamus believes – that he lost because of Kaiser, he is delusional. Sheamus has had a legendary career, but one thing he never achieved is beating Gunther. Never happened, never going to happen. Sheamus should be next to Kaiser thanking him, because he saved Sheamus. If Sheamus has a problem with that, Kaiser will put him out of his misery. He will expose and embarrass him.
Jackie is backstage with Adam Pearce, and want to know what his big announcement is. In come New Catch Republic.
Pearce says he has a Fatal Four Way tonight. The winners will get a shot at the tag team titles. That’ll be later.
Jackie has another question – why wasn’t Bron Breakker included in the KotR.
Pearce talked to him last week. The guys he had on RAW earned it. He doesn’t wanna shove Bron in the deep end.
Here comes Bron Breakker. He wouldn’t have been in the deep end. He would have drug them all under water and watched them drown, and smiled. He should have been in the damned tournament.
Queen of the Ring Quarterfinals Match
Lyra Valkyria vs Zoey Stark
LOCKUP And Zoey gets backed to the corner. Reg breaks it at 3, Zoey shoves her, Lyra shoves back. Side headlock to Stark, she escapes, Lyra flips out of the corner, hit a nice arm drag, hops to the 2nd rope and flies with a ack elbow. Arm drag again into an arm bar. Zoey is up, hits a knee against the ropes. Zoey shoves her face, whips, misses a right, Lyra wit a head scissors. Zoey to the outside. Lyra to the apron. She kicks, Zoey cataches, Lyra kicks her again, flies off, land son her feet, Zoey wih a clothesline.
WE are back and Zoey flies off the top rope wit a sick dropkick. Zoey with a backfist, kick to the knee, a toying kick ot the face, tries for a kick to the face but Lyra slides back, rolls her up for 1..2..NO!!! Right hand to Zoey, another, spinning kick, another kick, shove to the stomach, enziguri. Lyra hits t he ropes and dives through with a dropkick to Zoey! She is back in the ring, Lyra to the top rope, dives, crossbody! Cover! Zoey up, Lyra locks the head, tornado DDT! Cover! 1.2….NO!!!! Zoey with an elbow to the side of the head ,another, she kicks, Lyra ducks down, kip up, dropkick, OZey blocks, kick from zoey, half and half suplex to Lyra! Cover! 1..2…NO!!! Zoey off the top rope, lands on her feet, spinning heel kick from Lyra, tornado DDT again but Zoey catches her and suplexes her leg first into the buckle. Cover for 1..2.NO!!!
Lyra with a smack, Zoey with a kick, She tries for the Z260, Lyra counters into The Nightwing! Cover! 1.2….3!!!!
Winner: Lyra Valkyria
Nice little less than ten sprint.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 8:57
Lyra is interviewed by Jackie Redmond in the ring after the match.
Lyra has a message for Iyo. She says she is so confident. She speaks some Gaelic then says she only travels as the crow flies, straight to the top.
Jey Uso cuts a short promo for Ilja and Gunther.
Sami Zayn vs Otis
Otis corners Sami, Sami reveres, hits some rights, Otis reverses and hits huge rights and lefts, dropping Sami. Otis whips Sami, spinning back elbow from Otis. Otis gets approval from Gable. Otis rushes the conrer and hits a huge splash. Sami drops down. Otis looks to the crowd, he turns to see Sami on the ground. Otis’ legs are shakin, he feels it. Gable hops onto the apron and yells NO! Otis seems stressed, he turns to Sami, then to Gable. Itos rips his shirt anyway, and gets his worm on. Elbow drop.
Gable on the apron. He yells at Otis, tells him to get up on the top rope. Otis climbs, Flies off, Sami moves. HELLUVA KICK! COVER! 1.2….3!!!!
Winner: Sami Zayn
This did EXACTLY what it needed to do.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 2:00
Chad Gable goes into the ring to attack Otis, but Sami runs in to make the save and send Gable out of the ring. Otis checks on Gable, Gable screams that this is Otis’ fault anyway, then slaps him hard. Otis stands, stunned, as the crowd chants for him. Gable demands oTis follows him to the back as the crowd chants for Otis.
Backstage, Braun Strowman is hyping up The Creed Brothers. Here comes JD McDonagh to tell Braun he has been warned. Braun mocks this.
Becky Lynch vs Dakota Kai
Kai corners Becky as the crowd chants for her. Becky reverses and hits a back elbow. She sends Kai into the corner then does it again with th next corner. One more time, but this time she sends kai into the corner over and over till the ref stops her. Kai rolls outside. Becky hits the ropes, slides under and kicks Kai. Becky to the apron. Running fist to the face. Becky climbs the top rope, Sane with a distraction, Kai runs in and pulls he off. Kai stomps Becky then chokes her up on the 2nd rope. Kai corners Becky, again, one more time, then over and over like Becky did. Becky reverses and whips, Kai revrses, Becky holds on and sends her into the corner, Kai ducks under a right, kick to Becky, another kick. She sits on th back and locks in a cravat.
We are back from break and Dakota hits an axe kick to the hanging bbecky. Cover for 1.2..NO!!!! Right hand from Dakota, chop to Becky, Becky sends her to the apron, shoulder to the stomach from Kai, Becky puls herself back in, hits a right, an uppercut, kick, to the 2nd rope and she flies with a leg drop to Kai. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! BIG KICK from Kai! Cover! 1..2..NO!!!! Kai up in the corner. She climbs to the top rope. Becky checks her at the top, climbs up the corner ,Kai with a right, zbecky fires back, Kai does too. She locks the head, grabs the arm, Superplex! ARM BAR! Dakota rolls it into a pin! 1..2..NO!!! Becky with a pin for 1..2NO!!! Kai with a pin! 1..2.NO!! !Becky with a Disarmer!!
Iyo and Kaira attack for the DQ!!!
Winner: Becky Lynch via DQ
Fun, even if uneventful.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 9:57
Lyra runs down to make the save! Her and Becky make short work of Damage CTRL but Liv Morgan runs down to attack Becky Lynch from behind while Lyra is distracted!
Ilja Dragunov says some claim this is a dream to be here. For him, it’s not enough to just be here. He is here to make an impact night in and night out, and it starts with him becoming The Czar of the Ring. He will bring the same kind of fight to Jey Uso that he did last week. He knows Jey is ready for a battle, but what is waiting on the other side is a different kind of animal. He is more than that, though. He is a different kind of dragon. He beat Gunther. It is not over…
Gunther is standing by. He looks Ilja up and down, then smirks, and leaves.
Fatal Four Way Tag Team Match
The Judgment Day vs New Catch Republic vs The Creed Brothers vs Authors of Pain
Bate and Balor to start. Finn corners Bate and tags in JD. JD stomps between the legs. Bate locks the head with his legs and crawls over to Pete, tags him in, then hits a rana. Dunne and Bate with a back body dorp. Pete works the fingers, flexing them around then stomping the elbow. Tag and both Creed Brothers are in. Tey double team JD, who kicks them away, but Akam and Razar enter to clean house. Bate runs in and gets slammed down, then Pete runs in and gets body slammed onto Bate. Double t3eam sends JD outside onto everyone else, leaving AOP to stand tall.
We come back to JD and Finn double teaming Brutus Creed. They send NCR off the apron then turn into a clothesline from Brutus. Julian wants a tag. Brutus slow crawls to the corner. Tag to Julius, locks the waist, belly ot belly to Finn, to JD. Kip up, dropkick to Akam, then Razar. Finn kicks, JD catches, doule team but Julius locks hips of both and double Northern Lights! Standing Shooting Star to Finn. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! JD tries to stop but Julius moves and he lands on Finn. Julius sends JD outside. Slingblade by Finn! Shotgun dropkick from Finn! To the top roep! NCR stops him at the top and looks to attac, but AOP interferes. Dunne with a moonsault, then Bate with his own. Creed runs up the top rope. SUPERPLEX TO FINN BALOR!! COVER! 1..2…NO!!!! Credd sits Finn on his shoulders, JD to stop The Brutus Ball. AOP runs in, they each grab a member of Judgment Day and powerbomb them into each other then down hard. Brutus rolls in, NCR kicks Akam then Razar. Akam sends NCR outside and looks to powerbomb Brutus, but Brutus lifts and hits a back suplex with ease! He climbs to the corner. Bate tags himself in. Brutus flies to the outside!!!! BRUTUS BALL! Bate is legal, he hits the ropes, bounces off, clothesline, fireman’s to Akam!!! AIRPLANE SPIN TO THE 290 POUNDER!!!! He releases! Finn rolls up Bate! 1..2..NO!!! HUGE LEFT! Tag from Dunne! Double underhook into a catch and The Burning Hammer!!! Cover! 1..2…NO!!! JD stops the pin!!!!! He pulls Dunne out! Bate with a suicide dive to JD!!! Dunne climbs the table and hits right hands over and over!! Double underhook but…
CARLITO is here to hit a Backstabber on the table to Dunne!!! JD sends Dunne inside! Finn to the top roep! COUP DE GRACE!!!!!!
Winners: The Judgment Day
That was a lot of fun, with each team getting to shine a bit. I could have gone with another winner, but I can see the storyline potential here.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 10:41
Backstage, Priest and Dom are talking. In come JD and Finn and Carlito. Priest tells him that was cool. He then warns him not to let them down when he faces Rey.
King of the Ring Quarterfinals
Jey Uso vs Ilja Dragunov
Ilja with chops, Jey kicks, it gets caught, he misses a spinning enziguri, Ilha with aspinning chop. Ilha calls himself The Genral of the Ring. He rushes the corner, hits a high knee. Ilja with a knee to the chest. He climbs the corner. Jey runs up and hits him with a right hand! Jey hits the ropes, suicide dive to Ilja! Jey gets Ilja to the shoulders, but he slips off and hits a big boot to Jey. He breaks the count then tosses the table cover. He clears the table of debris, then grabs Jey and chops him. Jey is alid across the table, Ilja lays him parallel, then climbs to the barridade. Ilja flies with the H-Bomb but Jey rolls away from it!!! Jey rolls into the ring! Right back out! SPEAR!!!!!
We are back and Jey hits a hard right. Ilja retaliates. Jey hits another, Ilha with his own. Jey with a slap. A shove. To the ropes, Ilja with a chop! Right forearm to the face, left, another drops Jey. Jey back up, right, another, another, another, some dancing and the Smackdown. Ilja is down! He is back up! Jey with a kick, it gets caught. Enziguri. BIG KICK FROM ILJA! GERMAN FROM ILJA! Jey with a kick to the stomach, uppercut drops Ilja, but he bounces off the ground and hits a kick! Constantine Special! Cover! 1..2..NO!!!! Big chops in the corner to Jey. Ilja boots Jey, then scrapes the face. Again. Running kick across the face. Ilja with a waist lock. Jey breaks it, drops down, goes under, Ilja tries to spin into a punch but Jey kicks, another kick, another! Cover! 1.2…NO!!! Jey tries for a spear, Ilja hits a knee.
A running knee this time! Ilja lifts up, powerbomb to Jey! H-Bomb! Cover! 1.2….NO!!! Ilja up, run…..SPEAR FROM JEY USO!!! TO THE TOP ROPE!! HE FLIES!! USO SPLASH! COVER! 1….2….3!!!!
Winner: Jey Uso
I did NOT see that coming! I guess it makes more sense considering star power and perhaps they wanna save Ilja v Gunther for something else, but I would argue that this was a perfect time and tournament to do so. As for the match, solid action and Ilja looked intense and awesome.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 12:47
End Show
More Trending Stories
- Update On WWE Shareholder Lawsuit, Alleges Vince McMahon Investigation Was a ‘Sham’
- Fox Spokesperson Denies Involvement In Rumored Vince McMahon Wrestling Project
- Backstage News On AEW Segment With Thunder Rosa, Megan Bayne, And Penelope Ford
- Jeff Jarrett Weighs in on Fan Outrage Over AEW Grand Slam Australia Ring
