wrestling / TV Reports
Ciocco’s AEW Dynamite Review 3.12.25
Image Credit: AEW
Loading...SICKOS! It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means! Tonight is Dynamite, but not just any Dynamite, this is the fallout from Revolution! Where do we go from the events that transpired in the main event this past Sunday? Is this truly the end of Mariah May and Toni Storm, and if so, where do these ladies go from here? Does Hangman defeating MJF mean that he is that much closer to a world title shot? Hopefully, we find the answers to that and then some sooner rather than later.
As far as the concrete details of tonight go, those fans who love tournaments (or love to complain about them) are going to get a brand-new tournament starting tonight for a shot at the International Title at Dynasty. As it stands, here is the first-round schedule:
Orange Cassidy vs. Hechichero (Dynamite)
The Beast Mortos vs. Wildcard (Dynamite)
Mark Briscoe vs. Mark Davis (Collision)
Katsuyori Shibata vs. Ricochet (Collision)
Pretty straight forward, yeah? The only question is, who could the wildcard be? I’m going to assume that it is someone new that the company wants to debut tonight. Names such as “Speedball” Mike Bailey and Josh Alexander have been thrown around, but who knows! We’ll all find out together! We also have Willow Nightingale going up against Penelope Ford, we’ll hear from MJF and NEW International Champion Kenny Omega, and assuredly, so much more!
So, how are you sickos doing? I don’t have too much to give to you this week, except for the minute. I tried Revolution this past Sunday on Prime Video, quality was amazing, and the video never locked up or lagged. I am a little disappointed in the sheer number of players leaving the Eagles, but when you’re a Superbowl winner, you find teams grossly overpaying for your talent. Baseball season is that much closer (16 days to opening day for the Phillies), and the Pacers pulled out one of their best wins in some a regular season last night. Thanks, Hali!
So, let’s get ready to make the Dynamite go BOOM tonight!
Tonight, we are LIVE from Fresno, California! Our announcers are Excalibur, Tony Schiavone, and Taz!
Kenny Omega is out to start us off tonight, back to his Battle Cry theme. Thank goodness, I like that song WAY better than the other one that he was using.
(Also, for not “being an EVP” anymore, he sure got the entire stock of pyro lol)
Kenny with the mic after he goes around ring side, showering in fan admiration. This is still all so wild to him. Before 2025, he was just happy to stand in this ring and say, “Guys, I am cleared, I can try this again”. But what makes this a dream state, that he is back in AEW, and thanks to your support, the support of the doctors, the support of Will Ospreay, not only is he back…
YOU DESERVE IT chants
…He’s back holding not just a title, but a singles title! Out of all the people that he wants to thank, there is one that he wants to thank the most. Takeshita. You pushed Kenny harder at the PPV than he ever could have pushed himself. And if it weren’t for you dragging me back to that place where he had to fight, he wouldn’t be here today. He made this belt truly international. So, when Tony Khan unveiled the International Title tourney, Kenny thought that is great, it will legitimize the title. Kenny will be watching closely to who wins. So, Kenny must bid you adieu, so goodbye, MUAH, and goodnight, BANG!
(Short and to the point, it was nice to hear from Kenny, and to see him interacting with fans around ring side).
We get a rundown of the matches for the first round. As Kenny is leaving, he has a standoff with The Opps, who make their way down to the ring.
The Opps vs. Vinny Pacifico, Eli Theseus, and Gabrial Ares
Sorry if I got the squash meat names wrong, they flashed the names too quickly for me to get them right. Joe starts out murdering one of the squash meat and tags in HOOK. Another member of the Squash Meat enters and gets beat down by HOOK. The third member of the Squash Meat comes in, charges HOOK, but he steps aside, and the guy falls on his face. LOL! Shibata in now, he knocks the other two members off the apron and proceeds to hammer SM #3. Pin for a two count. BIG PK from Shibata and that’s all she wrote!
WINNER: The Opps
TIME: 2:00
THOUGHTS: Was expecting this to be over in like a minute. Shibata getting the win ahead of his match at Collision was important, if nothing else.
RATING: N/R
Ricochet in the back. He got screwed at Revolution, but his quest for gold isn’t over. He didn’t want that drab ass robe anyway! But that title Kenny has is pretty! It would look better around his waist. He knows all about Shibata, he is giving him the option to quit now and not show up at Collision. He is afraid that Shibata won’t have his translator app to tell everyone that Ricky beat his ass. A-HA!!
We revisit the events from Revolution this past Sunday.
BREAKING NEWS! Excalibur announces that, due to the ending of the world title match at Revolution, that Jon Moxley will face Cope (Just Cope) next week for the AEW World Title in a Street Fight. The winner then will go on to defend the title against Swerve Strickland at Dynasty.
Speaking of, we had Strickland! The guy asks him when he is going to challenge for the title (Despite this already being common knowledge), and he says at Dynasty. One year ago, he became the first black AEW World Champion, and in Philadelphia this year, he’ll do it again. Cope (just Cope) shows up. He says he didn’t lose to Moxley, but whoever he does challenge for the title at Dynasty will be worse the wear. Strickland says he hopes it is Cope but he’ll be ready either way. They fist bump to end it.
COMMERCIALS!
Moxley in the back. What did they used to call Cope? The World’s biggest opportunist? He scored the winning shot at Revolution. But he shouldn’t have been in that position. He should have finished off Cope before Christian Cage could even lace his boots. Moxley beat Cope up, but he kept moving forward. Cope is made of something that Moxley can appreciate. The rules? Take all the rules out of it, call it a street fight, call it what you want. You take the rules, Moxley will take your excuses. He underestimated the toughness, grit, and determination of Cope no matter what befalls him. There’s a reason Moxley is a champion. There are many differences between professionals and amateurs. He doesn’t make the same mistake twice.
(END)
Hey, isn’t that the Collision Cowboy Hologram? He’s on Dynamite? Word! and Harley Gram is back! SWEET!
Powerhouse Hobbs & Hologram vs. Brian Cage and Dralistico
No time is wasted, as Cage and Hobbs start fighting at ringside. Dralistico and Hologram in the ring, slaps to the chest from Dralistico. Reversals and arm drags are exchanged. Pins, not even a one count on all of them. Dralistico goes back to the mask of Hologram. He tags in Cage. Cage sends his partner towards Hologram, but he sends Dralistico from the ring. Cage has Hologram up in a gorilla press slam, but Hologram fights out and sends Cage to the floor. Hologram looking to fly, but Cage catches him with a suplex! Sick! He does curls with Hologram in his arms as we go to PIP break.
PIP Thoughts:
-Unfunny Jokers
-Friday Night Vibes is a vibe.
-Toyota on sale, ere sorry I meant Lexus.
-BUNDLE BROS! AROOOO!
-You can improve your cars headlights in three easy steps and under 20 dollars! WOW!
-Deonna Purazzo for SNHU! You go girl!
-Kinder is kind of good, NGL.
-I can’t feel pain, NOVACAINE!
-Cheesecake pancakes? I uh, yeah?
-NBA season, on TNT, it’s down to the final leg!
-There is a shift coming on Collision!
We’re back, as Dralistico throws Hologram to the floor. He takes the ref as Mortos stomps on Hologram. Harley Gram is here to stop the attack, as Mortos is infatuated with her. Dralistco shoves him and action resumes in the ring. That was, interesting in a word.
Hologram gets the tag, and FINALLY Hobbs is in. He catches Dralistico out of the air and throws him down. He wants Cage! MEAT TIME! The tag is made, and the clotheslines start! Superkick by Cage! Body wreck by Hobbs! Powerslam by Hobbs for a two. Dralistco hits Hobbs, but it’s all a ruse for Cage to sneak behind for a release German. Hologram in, pop-up dropkick on Cage! Cage catches Hologram though, powerbomb into Hobbs in the corner. Cage is trying the outside in suplex on Hobbs and HOLY SHIT HE HIT IT! WOW! Dralistco tries to take advantage, but Hobbs with a running stampede. Cage plasters Hobbs with a discus lariat. HOLOGRAM OFF THE CHEST OF HIS PARTER AND HE TAKES OUT CAGE ON THE FLOOR! Back in the ring, Hobbs overpowers Dralistico, but he won’t stop being persistent. I mean, until Hobbs turns his Tornado DDT in a spinebuster for the win.
WINNER: Hologram & Powerhouse Hobbs
TIME: 10:30
THOUGHTS: Fun strange bedfellows match. Credit to Dralistico for being persistent and a pest, even if he got smashed for his efforts.
RATING: ***1/4
Alicia Atout got a word from The Hurt Syndicate after Revolution. Shelton wants to know whose ass they going to beat next. MVP says that is what he wants to see and hear. He quotes CF Fletcher, that you have to be the biggest and baddest. He wants the guys to take some time off and enjoy themselves, he has the business end of it. Shelton says they will take time off, but that no gym thing. He will be in the gym. MVP says that is what makes them the best. They want to hurt people.
We revisit Revolution, and everything from the start between Mariah May and Toni Storm. It is so very sad that this feud might be over, but damn if this wasn’t the best women’s feud in AEW history, bar none. Hell let’s not confine that to just the women, this was probably one of the absolute best things the company ever did. The story from May being an obsessed fan to friends with Storm to the betrayal, everything, all amazing. Loved every minute of it.
Alright, enough of that shit, here comes Mongo TIMELESS TONI STORM! With stiches in my lip, staples in my head (we get a close up for emphasis), and glass in my ass, I stand before you, to tell you that this TRAMP is the champ! This past Sunday at Revolution, it was my Hollywood ending, and a chunk of my heart will be gone forever, but this title means it was well worth it. It is time for a new beginning. It is her honor to be our AEW World Women’s Champion. This is the most talented locker room in the world. There are so many champions. But when you fight with me, it’s like visiting the zoo. because she bleeds like a pig, licks like a giraffe, and will eat you like a lion. But she promises you will never her meow, because she is no pussy. No one swings like Storm, so ladies, put your keys in the bowl and let’s get this started. This will be messy and sweaty, but it will always be TIMELESS!
Megan Bayne attacks Storm from behind! Well, Storm did say put your keys in the bowl, this could be very interesting.
COMMERCIALS!!
We’re back, as FRANK is in the ring to find out who the wildcard is.
International Title Tourney Match: The Beast Mortos vs ???
In probably one of the worst kept secrets in the game, it’s Speedball Mike Bailey! Well, glad he is finally here, let’s see how this goes!
The bell rings, as Baily comes to center and shows respect to Mortos. SPEEDBALL, WHOOP WHOOP chants. Bailey kicks away at the legs of Mortos to start. He then starts showing off his agility, flooring Mortos. He delivers rapid fire kicks, causing Mortos to fall out of the ring. Bailey to the apron, standing moonsault misses, Mortos runs him over. Mortos poses in the ring, then goes to get Bailey. He growls, but Bailey cuts off the ring post spot. Bailey kicks away at Mortos and sends him back to the ring. Bailey to the top, rolls through. Mortos charges but hits the corner and falls to the floor. Bailey up and over the top rope with a senton splash as we go to PIP.
PIP Thoughts:
-NBA playoffs, coming soon!
-Collision, Live (at least this week) on TNT and MAX!
-No, really, I want to be known for cancer. Jagoffs.
-Big Easy menu at Applebee’s!
-Febreze, 45 days of that small spaces’ goodness!
-Wait, isn’t winter over now? It’s been over 60 for like three days! It’s over!
-Oh, and it’s free to swap fries, at BK, have it your way! You rule!
-Impractically not funny.
We’re back, as Mortos was in charge during the PIP, but Bailey has turned the tables. Running shooting star press gets him a two count. Bailey misses a big crescent kick, as Mortos checks out of the ring. Bailey goes to run, Mortos up, Bailey kicks him off the apron. Now Bailey goes up and over to take out Mortos. Bailey to the top, but he baits Mortos in. Mortos is stuck on the top, Liger Bomb by Bailey for a two count. Moonsault press, roll through, Mortos hits a Samoan Drop for a two count. Mortos goes up top, Bailey cuts him off and goes up top. Both men on the top rope, Avalanche Press Slam from Mortos! Bailey kicks out at 2.8! Mortos with the discus lariat, blocked, Bailey with chops. Mortos with a headbutt to the face. Tilt the world backbreaker, and a discus lariat by Mortos! Reversals are exchanged. Bailey with the standing press into the knee. CRESCENT KICK CONNECTS, AND THAT’S IT!
WINNER: Speedball Mike Bailey
TIME: 11:00
THOUGHTS: A great debut for Bailey, he showed what he can do and had a willing opponent as well. Mortos got in his stuff, but the right guy won.
RATING: ***1/2
Renee Paquette has Christian Cage and the Patriarchy backstage. She wants to know why he would cash in the briefcase and make it a 3-way match. Cage says she is related to Moxley, so he wants to take her blonde ass out of here. Cage demands his contract be returned to him. When he signed the contract, he told the referee it was for a one-on-one match with Cope. But the ref turned into a 3-way match, but Moxley chocked him out illegally.
Nick Wayne says you are lying, Christian. You’re lying to the fans; you’re lying to yourself. Nick thinks that Cage owes everyone an apology. Cage is sorry that it has come to this. Cage shoves Nick, and Mama Wayne gets in the middle. Christian says she will go back to the midnight shift at Waffle house if she doesn’t butt out. How many world titles have you won, Nick? How many world titles did your biological father win? He died a coward in front of your mother. You don’t think I’m good enough, Nick? He will be the World Champion soon enough, so shut up and ride Christian’s coat tails, because the next time they have this conversation will be the last time.
Lexi Nair tried to get a word with MJF after his lose at Revolution, but he punched a mirror and told Lexi to leave. To the here and now, and MJF doesn’t look too upset, if I’m being honest.
CUT MY MUSIC, CUT MY MUSIC. He has a splitting headache, his hand hurts, his body hurts, but what hurts the most is that he knows it, all the stupid schmucks at home know it, all the inbred losers here know it, he had that match won on Sunday. But your cowardly cowboy decided to cheap shot me like he did back in 2019 and got a fluke win. MJF isn’t upset anymore, because he thought long and hard about it. MJF is ten times smarter than you and your ignorant fans. He thinks ten steps ahead of everyone single one of you. He will get his, Cowboy. This ain’t over by a longshot, COWBOY!
MVP is here. Well, this is an interesting turn of events. MVP makes his way to the ring and gets his own mic. MJF looks confused. MVP chants. They come to the middle of the ring. MVP. MJF. Well, we got that out of the way. Oh, big hug between bros lol. MVP came out here to tell him some things. He is proud of him. He isn’t the same bushy eyed 18-year-old kid he met years ago. When MJF was 18 years old, he volunteered to drive MVP to a documentary about Bad Brains. he did it all for the low price of asking questions about the business. His intelligence showed MVP that he had the mind for the business. MVP saw him again in South Florida, and he knew he had the aura. MJF has a certain intuition and temerity that you can’t teach. MJF told him he would be a world heavyweight champion, and he did everything he said he would do. That is why MVP is proud of him. BUT what he is NOT proud of, and what MJF cannot be proud of, was what happened on Sunday. MVP wants to know why MJF isn’t mad about the loss. Why isn’t he punching people, hurting people? The boys in the back don’t respect you, and worse, they don’t fear you. But you know who they do fear? They fear the Hurt Syndicate, and that, my friend, is what you are missing. And perhaps, just perhaps, he could help him again. At first, MVP was just here to introduce himself, but now, everyone knows where MVP goes, gold follows. This business card is a chance to change your career. Maybe it is time for them to talk some business.
MJF shoves his hand down. With all due respect, and that is a short list, however, he is not the same kid he was before. With all due respect, he doesn’t need his advice or help. He was the world champion for 406 consecutive days.
MVP says focus on the word WAS. He offers the card again. This time, MJF takes it. MVP moves in closer, taps him with his cane, and takes his leave. MJF is left looking at the card and MVP.
COMMERCIALS!
The Best Wrestler Alive Max Caster is here post break. Thanks to the Maxamaniacs, he has the best-selling shirt. This proves he always was the top star of the Acclaimed. He also has the best chant in all of AEW. Let’s try it again. “LET’S GO MAX, YOU’RE THE BEST WRESTLER ALIVE!” The people in Fresno are stupid, and whoever answers the challenge, is stupid as well. Who can survive the best wrestler alive?
Max Caster Open: Max Caster vs. Konosuke Takeshita
The bell rings, but Max is on the mic. You’re not here to wrestle me, dude I would kill you. You must be here to invite me into the Don Callis Family. Imagine what they could do for me. He could main event the Tokyo Dome. Maybe he could get that recording contract. Or maybe, Takeshita, he could do the thing he couldn’t do and beat Kenny Omega.
But Takeshita starches him with a rolling forearm. He breaks up his own pin. Raging Fire, done for reals this time.
WINNER: Konosuke Takeshita
TIME: 1:30 (like, 20 seconds of action)
THOUGHTS: Takeshita gets a win back and Caster gets squashed. We all win.
RATING: N/R
We go back to Revolution Zero Hour, where The Learning Tree ambushed Gravity and take his mask. Bandido tried to make the save, but he had to watch.
Chris Jericho now. Gravity have been introduced into this situation. The temperature in the room has changed. He embarrassed you in front of your family and stole his brother’s mask. He scared his precious sister and made his mom cry. How do you come back from that? How do you look her in the eye now? Did you bring this on yourself? maybe. But Jericho is dome with people taking advantage of him. That time is over. The Gravity.
Well, that was, something. Has to end with Bandido taking the title at Supercard of Honor, right?
Back to the ring, here is Willow Nightingale!
Willow Nightingale vs. Penelope Ford
The bell rings, and Ford takes a sidelock, only to get trucked by Willow. Ford off the ropes, tries a cassadora, but Willow with a scoop slam. Basement crossbody for a two count. Willow rams Ford’s head in the corner. Ford reverses it, only to have Willow take the advantage again. Snap suplex by Willow for a two count. Ford ducks Willow with a bridge and hits a dropkick in the corner. Willow on the apron, Ford over the top with double knees to the gut. PIP Break.
Do I even have to tell you guys by now? 😉
We’re back, as Ford has Willow in the ropes. She hits some forearms, but Willow turns the tables with clotheslines galore. Corner splash by Willow, she rolls Ford through and hits with a pump kick. Spinebuster by Willow, but Ford kicks out at 2.5. Ford fights out, tries the backslide, but Willow has her in a Gory Special. Ford bites her way out of the hold. Well, that was some kind of something. Ford with the cross armbreaker over the ropes. Ford to the top rope, diving crossbody for a two count. Willow cuts her off, hits an Oklahoma Stampede for a two count. Ford tries to catch Willow with a roll-up, she kicks out at two. Kicks are exchanged; Ford does the Matrix into a stunner. Willow with the POUNE, PERIOD, and that finishes this one!
WINNER: Willow Nightingale
TIME: 8:30
THOUGHTS: Not a bad match for the women. What this leads to (if anything) will be the big question.
RATING: ***
Post-match, Ford attacks Willow with a chair. Here comes Kris Statlander! She charges through Ford and the chair and sends her from the ring. Kris tries to help Willow up, but here is Megan Bayne! She clotheslines both Willow and Kris! She hits the modified F-5 on Kris! Bayne poses.
Renee in the back with Mercedes Mone She got kicked in the throat, Renee, help!
Renee: Say Hello to your C-E-O!
Apparently, Mone asked for Billie Starkz here with no physicality. Renee asks what she has learned. To not get kicked in the throat She kids, but she has learned a lot. Billie was the first ever ROH Women’s TV Champion at age 19, and she is looking for a change. She is going to take down Mone. Mone tries to laugh but has a hard time doing it. She says she is going to show Billie what happens when you mess with Mone and pokes her nose.
Schiavone in the ring, he introduces Will Ospreay to the ring. Will wants to know how it is going. Look, mate, he’s got stiches here, he has this glued together, and he thinks he got stabbed, but he made it out alive. Will says that he struggled with Kyle Fletcher, and it took everything he had to keep him down and win the match. But he is in trouble with his wife. See, it was Saturday the night before the cage match. She gets on the phone, says she is scared, don’t do anything off stupid off the cage. Oh, come on, he’s in his thirties he won’t be doing that. But he didn’t realize that they were on Amazon Prime now. There was like 15 cameras at ringside showing this off. Someone saying please don’t die. So, he found 15 missed calls on his phone. he called her, she said she is glad he is okay, BUT YOU DID THAT CRAZY SHIT OFF THE CAGE! But Will is a smooth talker, he got her to calm down by cooking her dinner!
But there is other business here. Next Week, Cope (Just Cope) has a world title match. Then, Swerve has one at Dynasty. So, where does that leave Will to call his shot? He wants to be in the main event at All-In Texas. There is only one way he can get there, by entering the Owen Hart Tournament! He will go through everyone to get what he wants. If it is Cope, never faced him but it would be an honor. If it is Swerve, mate, he looks forward to it. But it if is Moxley, fair warning, an assassin is coming for the throne. He wants to be the guy because these fans trust him. He wants to be world champion because he has earned. His name is Will Ospreay, and he is on another level!
(That was a fun story with Will, for sure.)
Renee in the back with Jay White. he cuts her off by chanting OSPREAY. It would be great to get in the ring with Ospreay again. You want to be in the title match, but they have been keeping them apart. Ere sorry what was your question? Renee wants to know if he hit Cope with the case on purpose. White says obviously he didn’t hit him on purpose, he has had Cope’s back. Swerve! He has been working to take down the Death Riders, but he will be damned if he lets anyone take his status as the #1 contender for the World Title.
(which he got how, exactly?)
Renee reminds us at the main event is up next.
COMMERCIALS!
Renee now in the back with Hangman Page. She congrats him on his win over MJF. He goes to speak, but here is MJF. You want me to finish breaking your neck? Page says he doesn’t believe that MJF wanted to set him on fire last week. Page also was right that MJF does care about what these people think. MJF says he is going to take a step back because Page smells like rotten ass. LOL! MJF says Page is on his high horse because he beat MJF, congrats buddy! But now MJF goes on to become multi-time champion, he will be first ballot hall of famer. But Page will scratch and claw his way to the top only to fall from atop the mountain. When your mask slips off, your biggest insecurity is that you don’t deserve their love. But you’re right. One day, these people will get sick and tired of waiting for you to win the big one. But MJF will be laughing at Page, the whole way up that mountain. Page says we’ll see, as MJF takes his exit.
Orange Cassidy is out for the main event.
International Title Tourney Match: Orange Cassidy vs. Hechichero
Good Ole JR is here for the main event, he says he was impressed by Speedball. Hechichero on his knees, he points up as Cassidy looks up. It was a ploy of course, as he takes control of Cassidy. Cassidy turns the wrist lock and taps Hechichero on the chest. LOL> Cassidy does the top rope Undertaker Walk but lands and does nothing. He frustrates Hechichero when he puts his hands in his pockets. Cassidy rolls over Hechichero for a two count. Cassidy continues to frustrate Hechichero to the point that he smacks the table on the floor. PIP break.
PIP thoughts:
-Abracadabra for March Madness.
-Collision, you know where to find it.
-Fack the Celtics. Signed, a Pacers guy. 😉
-A different Kinder commercial? Far out!
-Lowe’s knows something.
-SNHU, but not with Deonna! BOO!
-Red flags are everywhere, help your cat.
-Voltaren is movement. I think.
-KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP IT TWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWISTED!
-MJF was wrong, Dominos is rotten ass.
We’re back, as Hechichero hits slaps on Cassidy in the corner. Cassidy thinks he is getting away from him, but Hechichero goes to the apron and puts a sleeper hold on Cassidy! A dragon screw leg whip follows, and another one from Hechichero. Cassidy to the top, he hits a Crossbody. He tries the around the world DDT, but he is cut off, Hechichero with the hammerlock backbreaker. The cover, that’s a two. Hechichero looking for a suplex, Stun dog Millionaire by Cassidy. He tries to kip up, but his knee won’t let him. Cassidy instead goes up top, the elbow drop is countered into an arm breaker. Cassidy tries to fight out, but Hechichero is like no bueno and turns it into an over hook. Cassidy finally gets to the ropes. Another suplex, another Stun dog attempt, but this time Hechichero was ready for it. Cassidy counters Hechichero into the Mouse Trap for the win!
WINNER: Orange Cassidy
TIME: 10:10
THOUGHTS: It’s always a pleasure to see Hechichero in an AEW ring, and to be fair, he was the perfect foil for Cassidy to bounce off of. A good match between two completely different styles.
RATING: ***1/4
Speedball Mike Bailey comes out post-match to acknowledge Orange Cassidy. And with that, we are done!
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