Csonka’s Impact Wrestling Review 5.18.17

Csonka’s Impact Wrestling Review 5.18.17

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– GFW Tag Title Tournament Match: LAX defeated Garza Jr & Laredo Kid @ 12:00 via pin [***¼]
– Kongo Kong defeated Braxton Sutter @ 3:21 via pin [**]
– James Storm defeated EC3 @ 12:30 via DQ [**½]
– GFW Women’s Title Match: Champion Sienna defeated ODB @ 2:45 via pin [NR]
– Ultimate X Match: Champion Low Ki defeated Trevor Lee, and Andrew Everett @ 14:40 [***¾]

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– We get highlights from last week’s show.

– Once again starting off with a match. This is appreciated Impact Wrestling.

LAX (Santana & Ortiz) vs. Garza Jr & Laredo Kid: Konnan, Homicide, & Diamante are out with Santana & Ortiz. After some pushing and shoving, Garza and Laredo Kid clear the ring and hit stereo moonsaults to the floor. Really nice pacing and double-teams here by Garza and Laredo Kid. LAX fights back, isolating Laredo Kid on their side of the ring. Ortiz hits the DVD as Santana takes out Garza. Good heat by LAX, keeping things moving and working with a great sense of purpose. LAX with some great double team moves, and they then toss Garza to the floor. Homicide beats on him and Ortiz follows with a dive. LAX keeps working quick tags, and picking up the near falls on Garza. Garza takes time to rip his pants off prior to making a comeback and then tags in Laredo Kid who hits a RANA and Michinoku driver. We get a tower of doom, with Santana hitting a frog splash at the end. Post break, LAX takes control back, working over Laredo Kid once again. Homicide again gets involved as does Diamante as they work over Laredo Kid on the floor. Back in the ring and Laredo Kid hits the tornado DDT, Garza in with a superkick and lionsault. Santana takes out Laredo Kid, but Garza hits another superkick and covers for 2. Ortiz cuts off Garza, and Diamante hits a RANA sending Garza off the apron to the floor. Laredo Kid eats a destroyer, and the doomsday blockbuster finishes him off. LAX defeated Garza Jr & Laredo Kid @ 12:00 via pin [***¼] While I hate to see Garza and Laredo Kid out of the tournament so early (I would have had them win a first round match and then do the LAX match), I won’t complain about a good, action filled opening match. There were a couple of hiccups, but overall this was a good opener with great energy. LAX had to use all of their tricks to put away Garza and Kid, and continue to dominate the tag team scene in Impact by using their numbers advantage. I’d love to see a longer form rematch down the line.

– Mathews rants about Borash. Magnus meets with Bruce Prichard, blaming Prichard for his loss last week. Prichard says that Patron tapped him and he needs to work his way back to a title shot. Magnus promises to do something about this.

– We get a Laurel Van Mess/Kongo Kong video package. She’s gloriously insane, and Kong killing dudes is awesome.

Braxton Sutter vs. Kongo Kong: Allie & Laurel are at ringside. Sutter attacks at the bell, trying to take the fight to Kong. Kong keeps shoving him away, and then hits the belly to belly for 2. Laurel keeps yelling for Kong to kill him, so Kong keeps on the attack. Allie has no idea what to make of Laurel’s state of insanity. Kong misses the cannonball as Sutter rolls away. Sutter lays in right and boots, but Kong won’t go down. Sutter then hits the bicycle kick, but Kong cuts him off with the corner splash, and the emerald flowsion finishes Sutter. Kongo Kong defeated Braxton Sutter @ 3:21 via pin [**] Really solid little sprint there, continuing the angle and also continuing Kong’s dominance.

– Sienna and KM arrive, and beat down Sutter as they make Allie watch. Mahabali Shera arrives to make the save, presumably setting up a future six-person tag. Sutter gets the mic and calls KM a fat bully, Sienna a dude (who’s the bully now?), and makes the challenge for that tag match for next week, he and Shera vs. KM and Kong. I was close. This is the “hurry, get Shera involved, we’re heading to India” angle.

– We get highlights of last week’s X-Division action, as well as Sydal commenting on coming to Impact for matches just like that. He feels he should have won, but Everett impressed him.

– We get an Ultimate X video package.

– Karen Jarrett says next week, Alisha & Eddie face Richards and Love; Magnus walks in and blow off Karen.

– Next is footage of EC3’s savage whipping of James Storm last week.

James Storm vs. EC3: Magnus has joined commentary, and promises to change things. Storm chases EC3 away with a strap and they brawl. Storm is fired up and lays in rights in the corner, he then takes EC3 down and stomps away at the arm. The corner clothesline followed, and then another from Storm. Storm then lays the boots to him, EC3 then rakes the back and that had to suck. EC3 then chokes him out in the ropes, and whips Storm to the corner. EC3 keeps control as Magnus rants about being the TNA, GFW and Ring Ka King champion, which is why he needs a title shot. He then claims Prichard hates him. Storm tries to fire up, but EC3 keeps cutting him off. Headlocks and front facelocks by EC3, he then slams Storm to the mat. Magnus & Mathews keep arguing, ignoring the match. EC3 then tosses Storm to the floor, betas on him and bit and then rolls him back in. EC3 hits the corner splash, but Storm escapes the TKO and then pulls EC3 to the floor. Storm lays EC3 over the barricade, grabs the strap but Magnus gets involved to stop him. Refs and Prichard arrive to take him to the back. Post break, EC3 takes control back and works a half camel clutch. EC3 then beats on his back, but Storm fires up and runs wild with clotheslines, an enziguri and neck breaker. Storm up top, but EC3 manages to cut him off. EC3 hits the TKO, but doesn’t cover Storm. EC3 then grabs the strap, but drops it and hits another TKO, but refuses to cover. EC3 grabs the strap again, the ref tries to stop him, so EC3 lays him out and whips him and that’s a DQ. James Storm defeated EC3 @ 12:30 via DQ [**½] This was an overall average match, really lacking the fire to follow up last week’s vicious beating from EC3. It really felt like they shot this violent angle and then said, “lets settle this in a fair and square grappling contest.” If you’re going to whip the shit out of a guy like EC3 did to Storm last week, you need to follow up with some strong aggression. I never felt like Storm was out for blood here.

– EC3 just lights up the ref with the strap, hope that good brother got some hazard pay. Storm attacks EC3, but Magnus arrives and slams Storm to the steps. He and EC3 argue, and Prichard arrives. Daddy’s mad kids. He books EC3 vs. Storm vs. Magnus, with Prichard teasing that this will help decide the Slammiversary main event. I wonder what Patron thinks of that. Prichard then says EC3 needs to go find his ball. EC3 then slams him down and leaves. The post match was good, with EC3 vs. Storm vs. Magnus being the secondary feud under Patron and Lashley.

– We get another Spud video package; he still regrets pulling down Swoggle’s pants. Next week he defies doctor’s orders and is coming after Swoggle for revenge.

GFW Women’s Title Match: Champion Sienna vs. ODB: ODB hits strikes and shoulder blocks to begin, but Sienna quickly tosses her to the floor. She follows as they brawl on the floor, with Sienna posting ODB. The big boot followed, and they worked back into the ring. Sienna mocked ODB, hit the corner splash and then missed the second. ODB fired up, hit the corner splash but Sienna avoided the TKO. ODB up top and slammed Sienna into her crotch, but then missed the Thesz press; Sienna hits the silencer and picks up the win. Champion Sienna defeated ODB @ 2:45 via pin [NR] I talked about this in previous weeks, but can someone tell my why ODB is getting a title shot? She recently lost in a title match to Rosemary, is this just “good job, good effort, have anther title shot?” It would be awesome if they explained this or even made people earn title shots. Hell. I’ll even buy Karen Jarrett coming out and saying Sienna is disrespecting the GFW title, so she signed former 4-time Knockouts Champion ODB to get the title off of her. As for the match, the best I can say is that at least it was short. I’d kill for them to actually book Sienna with some quality opponents.

Mathews & Borash Stuff: Mathews rants about Borash, and Borash arrives. Borash says he got a lawyer to work on his case. As of now, he has been reinstated, effective immediately. Mathews demands to know who the lawyer is, and it’s Joseph Park, from Park, Park and Park. Park arrives, and is glad to be back. Park says the fans like him, unlike Mathews. Borash will take over his position as the lead announcer as of today. Mathews says Borash will never be the lead announcer, and Park says no one likes Mathews. Mathews says he doesn’t care, and claims Park is Abyss. Park says he fought wars in the courtroom and won, and even fought wars in this ring. Mathews pisses him off, and Park says he wants to fight Mathews and so does Borash. Park challenges Mathews to a match at Slammiversary, he and Borash vs. Mathews and a partner. Mathews grabs his bag and leaves. The insanity continues, and will take up a PPV spot. It’s stil not a good angle.

– Borash joins commentary as the main event is next.

– We get comments from after Patron’s GFW title win last week. He came to Impact to find a home and this is his house. He always gives more than 100%, and puts over Magnus as a top tier competitor. He promises to continue to do great things with the support of the fans.

Ultimate X Match: Champion Low Ki vs. Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett: Ki is wearing his suit. Ki tries to fight both off to begin, but Lee works uppercuts but Ki fights him off with kicks and sends Everett to the floor. Ki looks to climb, lee cuts him off and Everett then pulls him to the floor. Lee then misses a high cross on Everett, Everett then hits the spiked RANA on Ki. Lee returns, Lee and Everett climb but Ki stops them. Lee then sends Everett & Ki to the barricade. Post break as Lee works over Everett. Ki looks to climb but Lee sends him back to the floor. Lee rakes Everett’s eyes, and then plants him with a dead lift German. Lee rakes Ki’s eyes, but Ki fires back with strikes, but gets sent to the steps. Lee climbs, but Ki returns and distracts him before being kicked away. Everett stops his climb, they trade strikes and Everett and Ki then climb. Lee stops them and is again sent to the floor. Lee again takes Everett down, looks to climb but Ki stops him but lee hits a stun gun and PK from the apron, sending Ki into the steps. Everett then looks to climb, but opts for a shooting star press to the floor to wipe put Ki & Lee. Ki is up and climbs, makes his way towards the belt, but Everett hits a missile dropkick to stop that. Helms gives Lee a chair, Ki climbs and Lee stops that and slams him to the barricade. Everett climbs for the belt, but Lee throws a chair at him to stop that. Lee sets the chair in the corner, and tosses Everett into it. Lee grabs the chair again, but Ki slams it into his face by punching it. Ki climbs, but Lee grabs his leg and they battle up top with lee being sent to the mat. Ki follows him but Lee hits the running double stomp. Spiked reverse RANA by Everett, he looks for another but Lee powerbombs him. Lee cuts off Ki’s tidal Krush, but Ki counters the German and hits a running double stomp. Ki drops the jacket, climbs but his hand is hurt from punching the chair. Ki fights off Everett, looks to climb but Everett slams him to the truss and Ki is trapped in the tree of WHOA. Helms gets involved, and hits as top rope neck breaker on Everett. Lee stands on helms’ shoulders and climbs for the belt, but Ki takes out Helms and dropkicks him to the floor. Ki climbs, and has to go to the top and work on top of the truss as lee climbs for the belt. Everett is back, Ki slides down through the top and knocks Lee and Everett to the mat. Ki gets the title and wins. Champion Low Ki defeated Trevor Lee, and Andrew Everett @ 14:40 [***¾] I really enjoyed Ki & Lee’s interactions here, and hope we get am extended singles match between the two. This was an overall very good main event, but the first half with the rinse and repeat of Ki being sent to the floor became very repetitive and annoying; typical cliché triple threat booking. I was hoping for a bit more drama around the finish and climax of the match, but did think the final moments and Ki’s selling of the hand was good stuff. If they had built in a little more drama before hand and really made me question who was going to win, this would have been great. It’s still worth your time though.

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”

7.0

The final score: review Good

The 411

This week’s edition of Impact was a good show and a definite improvement over last week’s show. Overall the show had a better sense of purpose, with a good opener and a very good main event. They advanced some of the pre-existing angles, and also did some nice set up for next week, including Kong & K vs. Sutter & Shera, EC3 vs. Storm vs. Magnus as well as Alisha & Eddie vs. Richards & Love. Mathews continues to be damaging to the programming, just make him a heel manager (where his act would thrive) and move on. What You Need to See: LAX (Santana & Ortiz) vs. Garza Jr & Laredo Kid, Ultimate X.