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Csonka’s Impact Wrestling Review 8.30.19

August 31, 2019 | Posted by Larry Csonka
Michael Elgin Impact Wrestling 6-14-19
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Csonka’s Impact Wrestling Review 8.30.19  

Csonka’s Impact Wrestling Review 8.30.19

– Golden Magic defeated TJP, Trey, & Taurus @ 9:10 via pin [***]
– Rich Swann & Willie Mack defeated Dez & Wentz @ 9:20 via pin [***]
Knockouts Title Match: Champion Taya defeated Big Mami @ 3:30 via submission [*]
– Chick Tormenta & Jordynne Grace vs. Vanilla Vargas & Kiera Hogan went to a no contest @ 1:57 [NR]
– Rosemary, Chick Tormenta, & Jordynne Grace defeated Madison Rayne, Vanilla Vargas, & Kiera Hogan @ 4:40 via pin [*]
Falls Count Anywhere Match: Michael Elgin defeated Rhino @ 18:00 via pin [**]

– Follow all of my reviews at this link.

– We open with highlights from last week’s show.

TJP vs. Trey vs. Taurus vs. Golden Magic: They brawl at the bell, Taurus gets dumped and Magic follows with a moonsault to the floor. Trey backs away from TJP, they work into counters and TJP dabs at Trey. Magic back in and follows with superkicks, and then a pair of cutters. The enziguri follows, and then RANAs TJP into Trey and the cover gets 2 as Taurus returns to make the save. Head butt to Magic follows, as he works over the others with kicks and strikes. Taurus runs wild here, and the pump handle flatliner gets 2. TJP fires back, and hits the arm drag into a head scissors. He works submissions on Magic & Trey until Taurus makes the save. Taurus then suplexes Magic & TJP. Trey fires away with kicks, double PELEs follow. TJP cuts him off and Taurus fires back and Trey cuts off he and TJP. Magic hits a tornillo and Taurus makes the save. He follows with strikes, and then the run up high cross. The rack breaker follows and TJP makes the save. TJP now hits the tornado DDT, Trey is back, TJP takes him up top and Trey slips out into Cheeky nandos. The 619 connects, Magic cuts him off, follows him up and Trey knocks him to the mat. Meteora misses, and TJP hits the detonation kick and locks on the heel hook but Magic hits a 450 on Trey for the win. Golden Magic defeated TJP, Trey, & Taurus @ 9:10 via pin [***] Good opening match with a somewhat surprising winner.

– Kiera Hogan harasses some lady luchadores (Chick Tormenta & Vanilla Vargas) until Jordynne Grace and Madison Rayne arrive. Madison suggests a tag match for tonight.

– Elgin cuts a promo about tonight’s falls count anywhere match with Rhino.

Rich Swann & Willie Mack vs. Dez & Wentz: Mack and Wentz begin, they lock up and work into counters and Mack follows with an arm drag. Dez & Swann tag in and they pick up the pace, working into counters as Swann hits a RANA. RANA by Wentz and then one by Mack. Post break and the Rascalz double team Swann and Wentz covers for 2. Wentz follows with strikes, Dez tags in and double teams follow until Swann tags in Mack. He runs wild, hits the German and then the Samoan drop. The standing moonsault follows for 2.Swann back in, and the double team neck breaker follows but Wentz makes the save. Wentz gets dumped and Dez fights back with strikes, Mack cuts him off and Wentz tags in and double teams follow for 2. Wentz follows with strikes, Dez tags in and Swann makes the save. It breaks down, big clothesline by Mack and the RANA and frog splash finishes it. Rich Swann & Willie Mack defeated Dez & Wentz @ 9:20 via pin [***] This was another good match, but much like the opener, it never got to that next level.

– Ken Shamrock responds to Moose, talking about coming to Vegas to deal with Moose’s disrespect. He runs down his championship pedigree, and in Vegas, he will confront Moose. Moose now says that Shamrock is looking for publicity by coming after Moose. Moose calls him an attention whore, and says he’s bigger and not afraid of him. He will hurt Shamrock in Vegas. Fallah Bahh arrives and challenges Moose to a rematch, calling Moose a bitch.

– Johnny Swinger, coming soon… in 2019. REALLY? He’s 44 and wasn’t any good when he was young. Is Irish Pat Kenney next?

– Taya promises a big title defense tonight.

– The Deaners mock Desi Hit Squad for working on their farm and we get video footage.

– We get a Havok/Su Yung video package.

– We get a Sami vs. Tessa video package. Sami wants the title shot he earned, which Impact doesn’t want to give him. He wants Cage stripped for not appearing, and reminds us he beat him in the past. Impact has one more week to make the match.

– Taya arrives and says she will be defending her championship tonight, and introduces her opponent, Big Mami.

Knockouts Champion Taya vs. Big Mami: Mami does a matrix, but Taya cuts her off and works her over in the corner. Taya grounds the action, works the arm and follows with strikes until Mami fires back and slams her down. The stink face follows, and then the broncobuster. The moonsault misses as Mami lands on her face. Taya taps her with the STF. Champion Taya defeated Big Mami @ 3:30 via submission [*] This was just bad.

– Tenille Dashwood arrives and Taya talks shit to her. Dashwood attacks until Bravo makes the save so she takes him out as Taya runs away.

Chick Tormenta & Jordynne Grace vs. Vanilla Vargas & Kiera Hogan: Madison Rayne is at ringside. Tormenta and Vargas begin, they trade and Tormenta follows with kicks, The suplex follows, and that gets 2. Vargas fires back with a clothesline, Hogan tags in and grounds Tormenta until Tormenta follows with a superkick. Rayne distracts Grace from the tag, they brawl on the floor and they all brawl on the floor. No contest I guess? Rosemary arrives and we’re getting a trios match next. Chick Tormenta & Jordynne Grace vs. Vanilla Vargas & Kiera Hogan went to a no contest @ 1:57 [NR]

Rosemary, Chick Tormenta, & Jordynne Grace vs. Madison Rayne, Vanilla Vargas, & Kiera Hogan: Rosemary works over Rayne, Rayne fires back and tags in Hogan. The superkick follows but Rosemary cuts her off with a back breaker for 2. Rosemary tags in Grace and she posts Hogan and follows with double knees and then misses the Vader bomb. They trade pin attempts, superkick by Hogan and Tormenta tags in and Vargas joins her. They trade strikes, but Tormenta hits a modified Michinoku driver for 2. They botch an Osaka street cutter and Vargas stuns Tormenta off the ropes and hits the slingshot elbow drop for 2. They work into a double down, Rayne & Hogan bail so Vargas is alone, Rosemary hits the sitout DDT for the win. Rosemary, Chick Tormenta, & Jordynne Grace defeated Madison Rayne, Vanilla Vargas, & Kiera Hogan @ 4:40 via pin [*] This was sloppy & disjointed, with the cliché heel walkout finish; it was bad.

– Alisha meets Ace Austin at the beach, he hits on her as usual, and says that he needs to talk to her in private. Some guys tries to rob Alisha, but it’s a set up for Ace to save the day and beat them up. Ace tries to look sexy in the water as she asks what he’s doing. He gives her bag back and says this is what he does for people he cares about.

– Reno Scum were the fake assailants, and meet with Ace.

– LAX is in the clubhouse as the North arrives on invitation from Konnan. They brought Canadian flags to re-decorate, since they are the champions. Konnan threatens to have them killed and then demands a title match. LAX says they are the tag division and made Impact the place to be. Konnan calls them lucky, and they agree to a match, where if LAX loses, they are out of Impact. Konnan is not pleased about this.

NEXT WEEK: The North vs. LAX, Havok vs. Su Yung, & Moose vs. Fallah Bahh.

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Michael Elgin vs. Rhino: They start by brawling on the floor, Rhino takes control until Elgin posts him. he works the arm and slam him to the apron. Elgin follows with chops, but Rhino fires back and slams him off the apron and covers for 2. back in and Elgin follows with strikes, a slam and then a slingshot splash for 2. he follows with clotheslines, Rhino fires back and they trade. Enziguri by Elgin, but Rhino fires back and knocks him to the floor. He follows him out and slams him to the barricade. They trade strikes and chops. Post break and Rhino brings out cookie sheets. Elgin cuts him off and sits him in the chair and follows with an apron clothesline for 2. They slowly brawl into the crowd, trading strikes, and they work to the second level, up into the crowd, and continue to trade strikes. Head butt by Elgin, he follows with jabs but Rhino hits him with a purse. Rhino teases a suplex out of the second level, but Elgin fires back and knocks him back to the floor. Back to ringside and Rhino uses cookie sheet shots, slams Elgin to the barricade, and they fight onto the stage as Elgin hits a clothesline for 2. Elgin slowly follows with strikes, and Rhino rolls down the ramp as Elgin covers for 2. Rhino counters back and suplexes Elgin on the ramp for 2. He sets up a table, superkick by Elgin and back in, Elgin props up the table in the corner, nails Rhino with chair shots, but Rhino counters back and hits him in the balls with the chair. Rhino sets for the gore and misses, crashing through the table. The Elgin finishes it. Michael Elgin defeated Rhino @ 18:00 via pin [**] This was ok at best, as it was slow, lethargic, and had absolutely no sense of urgency as well as going too long.

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The 411 on Wrestling Podcast returns to the 411 Podcasting Network for episode 46. On the show, the good brother, Jeremy Lambert, joins 411’s Larry Csonka and the guys will breakdown and preview the huge weekend of events, including NJPW Royal Quest, NXT UK Takeover Cardiff, & AEW All Out. The show is approximately 117-minutes long.

* Intro
* NJPW Royal Quest Preview: 3:45
* NXT UK Takeover Cardiff Preview/Cesaro Possibly to NXT UK: 24:45
* AEW All Out Preview: 44:00
* Big Show Related Announcement: 1:48:30

You can subscribe and listen to the 411 on Wrestling Podcast via the above player on Transistor, or on the following platforms:

* iTunes
* Spotify
* Stitcher
* Google Play

– End Scene.

– Thanks for reading.

The final score: review Poor
The 411
This week’s episode of Impact Wrestling started off with two good matches, and then fell off a cliff with a run of video packages, and then bad run of women’s wrestling. The main event was also rather lifeless. For me, Impact is usually a reliable show, solid to good each week and an easy watch, but for me, this was the worst episode in a long time.