Csonka’s Lucha Underground Review 2.24.16

Csonka’s Lucha Underground Review 2.24.16 – The Machine (Season 2, Episode 5)

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Jack Evans defeated PJ Black @ 3:55 via pin [**]
– Non-Title Match: Champion King Cuerno defeated Killshot @ 5:30 via pin [**½]
– Gauntlet Match: Chavo, Cisco and Castro defeated Texano @ 5:45 via pin [**]
– Johnny Mundo defeated Cage @ 7:57 via pin [***]

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– We get highlights from earlier in the season.

– We get a video of Pentagon meeting with his master. “Vampiro” talks about taking over “Ian” and took an apprentice, one that could make Ian’s nightmares come true and allow Vampiro to live again. Nothing can stop them and do not let anything, not even “her,” stand in your way.

– Commentary discusses that Cage defeated Mundo when they first faced in season one.

PJ Black vs. Jack Evans: Evans cut off Melissa and did his own announcement, proclaiming that he is the best and better than the rest; the Dragon Slayer Jack Evans. If Drago appears, he will make him his bitch. They worked a fast paced beginning, with Evans selling Black’s offense like a champ. Lots of fun action here, and Drago would appear and watch on from on top of the office. This pissed off Evans, who threw a water bottle at him and had a chair. Black then attacked and scored a near fall with the black diamond as Drago came to ringside. Drago accidentally misted Black, and Evans got the roll up for the win. It wasn’t idea for Black to lose his second match in a row, but it was a fine way to pull it off as he was a casualty of the Evans vs. Drago feud. It also gets him involved, as he’ll want revenge on both guys, and I could see a three-way coming from this. The action was fin, but it as short and the lull in the action during the Drago stuff took away from the action overall.

– We got a Famous B “commercial,” promising to make jobbers famous. It came off like a late 70s car commercial in its vibe. Just call 423-GET-FAME. It’s a real number.

Gift of the Gods Champion King Cuerno vs. Killshot: Both guys were already in the ring, getting the jobber entrance. Commentary rightfully questioned why Cuerno was not defending the title, which is of course because Catrina wants him to hold it as part of their agreement, which protects the injured champion, Mil Muertes. Fats paced beginning, going to the floor and featuring Killshot hitting dives. Cuerno fought back and hit a superkick, and then hit his awesome suicide dive. Cuerno controlled as they worked back into the ring, Killshot was able to fight back and they went up top and then to the apron and Killshot did a wacky apron spot, which felt off. They then traded rights and chops, Cuerno then hit a sweet leaping kick. Cuerno caught Killshot off the ropes with a kick and then hit the tombstone, reversed and Killshot hit a lung blower. Killshot up top, missed the twisting press and Cuerno hit the thrill of the hunt and that was that. Cuerno tried to hit the package tombstone, but Fenix made the save. Fun match with a ton of moving parts, and easily better than the opener, it felt like with a few more minutes it could have been very good, but it just never got there and felt a bit rushed overall.

Gauntlet Match: Texano vs. Chavo, Cisco and Castro: Cisco starts for his trio. Chavo barks orders, and Texano hits superkick and eliminated Cisco in under 20-seconds. Castro now enters the ring after Chavo laid in some boots to Cisco for losing so quickly. Castro got some run and worked over Texano as Chavo yelled directions. Texano fought back and hit a leg lariat off the ropes for a near fall. Texano would finish him off with the pop up powerbomb at about 3:10. Chavo quickly attacked and got the heat for about a minute, Texano then made a big comeback and when he tries to suplex Chavo in from the apron, Castro used Texano’s bullrope to trip and hold him down, allowing Chavo to counter and get the pin. Texano chased off Chavo and Crew post match. The in ring was fine, but unspectacular. The result was the right one, because Texano’s revenge should come in a singles match, if he wins here, its over and there is no real drama. Also, Chavo and the Crew would have no credibility if they lost the match. The old trip and hold the legs finish works here to advance things. Not that I want it to advance, or see more Chavo, but I get the booking.

– We hear Matanza eating more people 375 miles away from Boyle Heights. Cueto reminds Black Lotus that Matanza needs practice before they return. Matanza saved his life, as their mother was a wicked woman, the devil. She would hurt him, and one day he tried to stand up to her, but he wasn’t strong enough to fight her. She came after him with a hot iron, and would have killed him if Matanza hadn’t grabbed the red bull he has, because Matanza hit her with it repeatedly until dead; so she could not hurt them again. Lotus felt it was a sad story, but Dario said it was a happy memory for him. On that day, he learned how much he loved violence.

– We now see Catrina walking in the dojo, where Pentagon just happens to be. He wants to teach Puma a lesson, Catrina magically appears in the ring he is in and tells him to get his revenge. He wants it in the ring, but she’s in no mood to give favors. They have a kung fu battle and he goes to break her arm, but she uses her magic to disappear. Catrina gives him a match against Puma next week, and then says putting his hands on her was a huge mistake.

Johnny Mundo vs. Cage: Mundo completely bitch slapped Cage at the beginning of the match, and they got off to a nice start with some anger and purpose from both guys. Good back and forth there, and then Mundo got control and sent Cage to the floor and hit a step up corkscrew dive to the floor. Mundo worked over Cage on the floor, and then got the heat as they returned to the ring. Mundo did basic stuff to try and ground and wear down the bigger man. Cage made the comeback with clothesline, elbows and a sitout Alabama slam, which got a near fall. They did a lot of back and forth down the stretch, with Mundo getting desperate and using more heel tactics to try and finish off Cage. Cage hit an F5 after countering moonlight drive, but Mundo got a foot on the rope. Cage was able to escape the end of the world, hit a rolling lariat and weapon X after taunting Muertes. Taya Valkyrie they debuted and distracted Cage, and also placed a piece of piping in the ring. She distracted the ref, Mundo hit Cage square on top of the head with it, and picked up the victory. Cage had the match in hand, and was about to beat Mundo again until Taya’s debut. The match was good, and had some nice stuff in it, but it lacked the flow that a really god match contains. For the next chapter in the story, it works. Taya is Mundo’s new chick, and post match helped Mundo lay the boots to Cage. Mundo hit the end of the world and celebrated with Taya.

– Post credits, we see Cuerno meet with Catrina. He’s sick of Fenix not dying, and gives Catrina the Gift of the Gods title, and is cashing in his match for next week. Catrina says he is going back on the deal, so next week he has to defend the title against Fenix. Cuerno is not happy with this development, as Catrina also adds that it is a ladder match.

* End scene.

* Thanks for reading.

“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia.”

6.5

The final score: review Average

The 411

Overall this was a decidedly average edition of the show. Like a lot of the weeks so far, the early portion is ok or fine, and it picks up towards the end with the cinematics and main event. Nothing was bad tonight, and you can see where the are going with things, but at the same time nothing was what I’d call great or must see. They are still telling the stories well enough and introducing new people (like Taya) but this week’s show felt flat to me.