Dark Pegasus Video Review: Bloopers, Bleeps & Bodyslams

Well, I probably won’t get to a Survivor Series countdown in time for it to mean anything, but I do have a number of Coliseum Home Video reviews sitting around doing nothing and liking it. Hopefully, I’ll get to the Survivor Serieseses and redo the Summerslams that were lost sometime around the new year.

Until then, enjoy the magic of CHV.

Bloopers, Bleeps & Bodyslams

June 29, 1994 (I’m quite certain this is wrong, but it’s the date that was listed. Probably closer to 1984, since Gorilla isn’t wearing glasses).

Your host is Gorilla Monsoon.

The opening segment is Andre slapping Piper in the face when Piper asks to see how big his hand is.

We see a clip of Magnificent Muracco ramming into Andre the Giant’s ass. Completely heterosexual.

From Tuesday Night’s Titans, “Classy” Freddie Blassie goes nuts and gives relationship advice. Notable because Vince says a man shouldn’t use wrestling holds on a woman and because Blassie says sometimes they need to be smacked around.

The next segment is a blooper of Iron Mike Sharpe beating the crap out of Steve Gray while Gray’s hairpiece keeps falling off. Who would wear a toupee to a wrestling match?!

Next up, Tiger Cheung Lee tries to demonstrate brick-breaking, but they’re apparently the wrong kind of bricks because he can’t break them, causing segment host Vince McMahon to crack up.

Captain Lou Albano does some self-analysis about his medulla oblongata.

A posedown between Tony Atlas and “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff. Orndorff thinks it’s a lock, but Vince calls for a vote by applause. Atlas says that the people have spoken, so Orndorff attacks him from behind and they battle through the soundstage.

The Iron Sheik introduces Vince to his camel. Sheik says he trains with a camel and can go days without water. Vince brings in Lord Alfred Hayes for some in-depth camel analysis. It would be funny if I were kidding.

More from TNT, Kamala eats a live chicken, via the magic of editing…poorly.

Danny Carpenter vs. The Haiti Kid. Gil Roman is the referee, and isn’t much bigger than either man. We’re JIP to the Haiti Kid biting Carpenter in the ass. Carpenter looks like a mini-Bob Backlund, while the Kid looks like a mini-Missing Link. Carpenter accidentally rolls up the ref while Haiti Kid counts the three. They to a silly spot where Carpenter keeps kicking out, and the ref keeps catching the Haiti Kid and tossing him back on. Only clips are shown, but it’s kind of funny light-hearted stuff.

Ivan Putski teaches Vince McMahon how to polka.

Hulk Hogan shows Vince and Lord Alfred how to make special Hulkster protein shakes. You know…no. I’m not going to do it. It’s…it’s too easy.

Now it’s Captain Lou’s turn to give some advice to viewers. Still better than Dr. Laura.

The Wild Samoans try to teach Vince and Lord Alfred how to cook a nice Samoan meal.

WWF Tag Titles: The Wild Samoans vs. Rocky Johnson & Tony Atlas. This is from November of 1983. We’re JIP to the very end. Albano accidentally hits his own man over the head with a wooden chair, costing his team the tag titles as Atlas falls on top.

Vince asks if Albano was responsible for them losing the titles. Albano says it was a technical mistake, but they should have been tough enough to get through it.

Salvatore Bellomo shows Vince and Lord Alfred how to make a pizza. There are an amazing number of inside digs on this tape. Vince says that Alfred has powder on his nose, and notes that’s not the first time he’s seen him like that.

Dick Murdoch and Adrian Adonis take Gene Okerlund back to Adonis’ home to make fun of the homeless people.

And that’s about where my copy cuts off.

Final Thoughts: I’m not sure what else to say other than, “Huh.” I can’t say that it didn’t have it’s own odd charm. Vince taking potshots at Lord Alfred about cocaine abuse and possibly homosexuality is…interesting. Vince doing the polka is…disturbing. Now, if Vince and Alfred started doing the polka together while snorting coke, they’d have something.

Recommendation to avoid Bloopers, Bleeps & Bodyslams.

J.D. Dunn