Hall’s WWE Hell In A Cell 2019 Review

Hell In A Cell 2019
Date: October 6, 2019
Location: Golden 1 Center, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Vic Joseph, Dio Maddin, Jerry Lawler

There have been all kinds of matches in wrestling history. Some of them are better received than others, but there are very few which are pretty much universally despised. We have one of them today, and that should make for something. I’m not sure what kind of something though and that scares me. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Natalya vs. Lacey Evans

Evans is still the Sassy Southern Belle in one of the 183 different gimmicks she had, often at the same time. Natalya headlocks her down but Evans is back up with an armbar. That doesn’t last long as Natalya spins up and flips her over, meaning we get a pose. They go back to the mat with Evans working on a hammerlock before hitting a running shoulder

Natalya is right back with the slingshot belly to back drop but can’t get the Sharpshooter. Instead Evans knocks her down on the floor and we take a break. We come back with Evans working on the leg and hitting the slingshot Bronco Buster for two. Evans tries a Sharpshooter of her own, which is naturally blocked with a slap before Natalya kicks her to the floor. A quick knockdown cuts Natalya off so Evans tries her spinning moonsault, which only hits mat. The Sharpshooter makes Evans tap at 9:22.

Rating: C+. I had forgotten how easy a Kickoff Show match can be. That’s what you had here, as they had a pretty basic match with Natalya getting the win to a decent reaction. At the same time, I continue to be fascinated by Evans in a way. She had a great character and felt like she should have become something but it never happened, at least partially due to stringing up so many losses just like this one.

Post match Natalya punches Evans out with a Woman’s Right. Sore winner.

The opening video looks at the Cell matches, featuring Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch and Seth Rollins vs…..the Fiend. Oh yeah it’s THAT match. A few other matches actually get a look, which is a bit of a surprise.

Raw Women’s Title: Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks

Banks is challenging in the Cell and jumps Lynch before the bell. The Cell isn’t even all the way lowered and they go outside, with Banks hitting a suplex on the floor. Banks orders the Cell onto the ground and sends Lynch into the side before going inside. Lynch is down on the floor but manages to kick the door into Banks’ face.

They’re both inside and the bell rings, with Lynch grabbing a chain off the door. Lynch takes her outside to rake Banks’ face into the wall and we’ve got a table and ladder about two minutes in. The latter takes too long though and Banks chairs her in the back, allowing Banks to set up the ladder instead. That takes too long again, allowing Lynch to chair Banks down again. The Disarm-Her is broken up though and Banks hits a running dropkick for two.

They go outside with Lynch being Meteoraed into the ladder and then having the ladder sent into her. Back in and Banks grabs a chair but can’t wrap it around the arm. Instead she sits Lynch in the chair for a middle rope Meteora for two. Lynch gets up for a shot of her own and dropkicks Banks into the Cell for a big crash to the floor. The Bexploder sends Banks into the Cell again and Lynch sends her hard into the bottom of the chair for two more.

Banks tries a chair shot but Lynch takes it away and throws it to her, setting up a missile dropkick into said chair. They go outside again with Banks grabbing a kendo stick for some shots to the back. The sticks are put through the corner of the Cell but Lynch fights up. A chair is sat on top of the sticks in the corner, with Lynch sitting her in the chair. Lynch’s running dropkick knocks Banks out of the chair but she somehow kicks out again.

The table is set up inside but Banks is back up with a Meteora to put Lynch through it instead. Another kendo stick is pulled in for something like a Bank Statement but Lynch crawls out underneath the ropes for the escape. Banks sends her into a chair hanging from the Cell and goes up top, only to get super Bexplodered onto a pile of chairs. The Disarm-Her retains the title at 21:35.

Rating: B-. This was one of the Cell matches that felt like it was only in the Cell for the sake of the calendar saying it should be. That’s been a problem for years and while they had some unique spots in there, it’s not often a good sign when you need to turn it into a TLC match in a box. Lynch is still a huge star and beating Banks feels big, but either have it be a Cell match or a TLC match. Not both.

We recap Erick Rowan/Luke Harper vs. Roman Reigns/Daniel Bryan. Rowan attacked Reigns a few times and then joined forces with Harper to beat him down. Rowan had been Bryan’s enforcer so Bryan went after him, only to get attacked by the monsters as well. The result is of course a tornado tag match.

Roman Reigns/Daniel Bryan vs. Erick Rowan/Luke Harper

Tornado rules, which in this case basically means street fight. Reigns and Harper are sent outside early and Bryan dropkicks Rowan down. Bryan’s suicide dive connects with Harper, who might have hurt his knee. Everyone is back inside with Rowan stomping away and knocking Bryan back to the floor. Reigns is stomped down in the corner and Rowan crossbodies him down.

The steps to the face knock Reigns silly and Rowan hits a spinwheel kick on Bryan. This lets Rowan stop to shout at Bryan, who pulls him into the LeBell Lock. That’s broken up by Harper and Rowan gives Bryan a Jackhammer for two more. Bryan is able to knock Rowan outside but walks into a Michinoku Driver, with Reigns having to make the save. Back up and Bryan starts firing off the kicks to Harper’s legs, which let him get in the kicks to the arm and chest.

Rowan pulls Bryan outside but gets caught with Reigns’ Drive By, only for Harper to hit a suicide dive. It’s time to load up the announcers’ tables before Rowan slams Harper onto Reigns. Rowan picks up a piece of the barricade and rams Reigns over the barricade but Bryan hurricanranas out of a doublebomb.

That means Reigns can get back up for a spear to send Rowan through a table. Back in and Bryan hits three straight running dropkicks to Harper in the corner. Cole: “HARPER IS STILL STANDING!” That’s because he’s leaning against the corner you schnook. A super hurricanrana is countered into a sitout powerbomb to give Harper two and Bryan is in trouble. He’s able to slip out of a suplex though and it’s a Superman Punch to Harper, setting up a running knee into the spear to give Reigns the pin at 16:47.

Rating: B. This was a hard hitting fight with the makeshift dream team being able to fight against the pair of monsters. That’s a good way to go and something that has always worked in wrestling. Throw in Harper and Rowan being rather good at the whole monster team thing and this was going to work well. Solid match here.

Post match Reigns and Bryan have a staredown but Bryan won’t shake hands. Instead he wants a hug and Reigns finally agrees so everything is ok.

Seth Rollins isn’t sure how to beat the Fiend but he knows he’ll be ready to burn it down. At least he hopes so.

Randy Orton vs. Mustafa Ali

This is a preview of Team Flair vs. Team Hogan at Crown Jewel and was set up on the Kickoff Show. Orton grabs a wristlock to start so Ali flips around into one of his own. That earns him a rather big chop in the corner and Orton shoves him off the top for a big crash to the floor. Ali is dropped ribs and then back first onto the announcers’ table before being sent back inside.

Orton tosses him back outside for a heck of a toss into the steps (naturally Ali bumps like a pinball) and we hit the bodyscissors back inside. This shows off one heck of a welt on Ali’s stomach, which is shown off again as Ali gets up and strikes away. A dropkick sends Orton outside for a change for a heck of a suicide dive.

Back in and the rolling X Factor gives Ali two but his ribs are banged up. Orton’s powerslam gets two and he can’t believe the kickout. Ali hits a quick spinwheel kick though but misses the 450. The RKO is blocked so Ali is back up with a heck of a tornado DDT. Another 450 only hits mat though, allowing Orton to hit the hanging DDT. Ali handstands his way out of the RKO though and tries the rolling…eh it’s just there so he lands in the RKO for the pin at 12:10.

Rating: B. These two beat each other up and traded one big shot after another once they got going. Ali’s ribs being all banged up was quite the visual and he was still out there bumping like crazy. Good stuff here, even if it was designed to set up even more Hogan vs. Flair, because that’s what the world was waiting to see.

We look back at the Kickoff Show match and the post match punch. The result: a Last Woman Standing match the next night on Raw. That sounds like quite the jump.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Kabuki Warriors vs. Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross

The Warriors are challenging. Sane sends Cross into a boot in the corner to start and it’s off to Asuka. The kicks have Cross getting over to Bliss, who gives Asuka the moonsault knees. Everything breaks down and Asuka kicks the heck out of Bliss, who gets sent into the barricade. Back in and Sane kicks away at Bliss, setting up the double choke in the corner

Asuka grabs a choke in the ropes, followed by a kneebar into a half crab as Bliss is in a variety of pain. Sane comes back in, walks over to Cross, pokes her in the eye, and hits a running shot to Bliss for no count as the referee is with Cross. It’s already back to Asuka for an ankle lock, which is broken up in a hurry so Cross gets to come in and clean house.

The comeback is on as a spotlight keeps shining on the barricade and is rather distracting. The swinging neckbreaker is countered into an Alabama Slam but the Insane Elbow hits raised boots. Asuka is back in to kick away at Cross but a big YES Kick is blocked. Cross fights up and Bliss dives off the apron to take Sane out. The distraction lets Asuka mist Cross and kick her in the head for the pin and the titles at 10:24.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t quite as strong of a match but the Warriors took them apart and won in the end, even with some cheating. The Warriors felt like a better team anyway, as it’s nice to have a more traditional team holding the titles over just another random pairing. Cross and Bliss would get the titles back at Wrestlemania.

We look at the debut of Smackdown on FOX. That really was a huge moment for WWE. Brock Lesnar beating Kofi Kingston to win the World Title in about eight seconds, just to set up a match with Cain Velasquez, still annoys me.

Braun Strowman/Viking Raiders vs. OC

Strowman is a mystery partner. Ivar powers out of Anderson’s headlock to start and then runs him over with a shoulder. The armbar doesn’t last long so Ivar knocks the rest of the OC off the apron and hands it off to Erik to hammer on Gallows. Some running knees in the corner have Gallows in more trouble but Styles cuts off Erik’s dive. Erik is sent into the corner for some kicks and Anderson’s spinebuster gets two.

The chinlock doesn’t last long as Erik throws Styles down, allowing Strowman to come in and clean house. The running shoulders around ringside have the OC in more trouble but Strowman’s shoulder hits the post back inside. Styles grabs the Calf Crusher (makes sense as he would try to find any way to take Strowman out that he could) until Erik makes the save. We hit the parade of knockdowns until Anderson breaks up a powerslam. The double teaming has Strowman in trouble…and that’s a DQ at 8:25. Dang you don’t see that very often.

Rating: C. This wasn’t exactly great and really didn’t feel like a pay per view worthy match. The Raiders and the Good Brothers were feuding but Strowman was gearing up to face boxer Tyson Fury. That’s not quite the best usage of Styles, the reigning US Champion, but who else was going to do it? A non-champion?

Post match Styles goes after Strowman again but gets knocked out with a right hand. Again, because this is how you use the US Champion: to set up a celebrity match. The winners leave and Styles can’t even stand up on his own as he’s somewhere over Jupiter.

The Street Profits (from NXT) are here and want to know where they’ll be drafted to next week (Raw). Then Tamina shows up, wins the 24/7 Title from Carmella, and knocks out Tyler Breeze before running off. R-Truth can’t believe she lost and the chase is on, with the Profits giving them different answers on which way to go. This was a thing that happened.

We recap King Corbin vs. Chad Gable. Corbin beat Gable in the finals of the King Of The Ring tournament (hey I was there for that) and then dubbed him short. Gable jumped him and the feud continued, with Gable being annoyed at being called short over and over. You know, because he’s not three years old.

King Corbin vs. Chad Gable

Hold on though as Corbin says he shouldn’t have to do this again, especially after he put the Rock in his place on Smackdown. Corbin makes a bunch of short jokes and officially dubs him Shorty Gable, which would somehow stick (including in its altered form of Shorty G) around for over a year. Gable hammers away to start and gets an early ankle lock before switching to a sleeper. That’s broken up and Gable is sent hard into the post to leave him crashing to the floor.

Back in and Gable slowly hammers away before being sent outside again. The chinlock has Gable in more trouble and the sliding underneath the corner clothesline puts him down for two. Gable fights up and hits a missile dropkick but dives into a spinebuster for two more. Some forearms have Corbin staggered again and the rolling Chaos Theory gives Corbin two of his own. Gable hits some rolling kicks to the face in the corner but gets powerbombed down for another near fall.

The armbar in the ropes has Corbin screaming a bit and his leg being wrapped around the post makes it worse. One heck of a Deep Six gives Corbin two more but Gable is back with a running flipping neckbreaker. A moonsault gets two and it’s back to the ankle lock. That’s broken up so Corbin grabs the scepter, allowing Gable to roll him up for the pin at 12:41.

Rating: B. These two had some awesome chemistry together and they did it again here, with Corbin getting frustrated by the smaller and faster Gable. It caused Corbin to try and cheat and that’s what cost him in the end. Rather good match here, but SWEET GOODNESS THEY CALLED HIM SHORTY FOR THE NEXT YEAR. This company deserves its disasters at times because he had this kind of a match and gets a stupid name that Vince McMahon and only Vince McMahon could ever find funny.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Bayley

Bayley is defending…and we pause for R-Truth to chase Tamina into the international commentators’ section. This includes getting into a martial arts pose down with Funaki (Japanese commentator) and Carmella pops up to superkick Tamina and give R-Truth the title back. And now, back to the scheduled match, including the graphic which shows the title in what appears to be the Elimination Chamber (they did this for YEARS and I never understood why).

Bayley misses a charge to start and gets caught in an early neckbreaker. Charlotte avoids a dropkick as well and grabs a Liontamer, sending Bayley over to the ropes. Back up and Bayley sends her into the corner for a shoulder to the ribs, only to charge into a raised boot. Bayley tries to go after the leg but gets forearmed in the face. Some shots to the leg have Charlotte in trouble for a change and Bayley sends said leg into the video screen ring skirt.

Bayley wraps it around the post and grabs a half crab, with Charlotte making the rope. Back in and Charlotte starts kicking at Bayley’s leg for a change, setting up Natural Selection for two. They head outside where Charlotte hits a fall away slam for nine but Bayley small packages her for about 20% of that back inside. Charlotte goes right back to the leg and the Figure Eight makes Bayley tap at 10:12.

Rating: C. Well, this was your latest reminder that Charlotte was awesome and better than anyone else, as she gets her tenth title. Charlotte basically devoured Bayley here, cutting her off every time and then shrugging off the leg injury to make Bayley tap because of her own leg. To make it dumber, Bayley would get the title back on Smackdown and hold it for over a year, making this just a way to pad Charlotte’s record number of reigns while making Bayley look pathetic in the process.

Post match Bayley freaks out and yells about how this always happens to her.

Chad Gable is fine with being called Shorty because he won. Now go ask Corbin how it felt to come up…short. That was proof that Gable was the bigger man. Then Corbin comes in and wrecks him, just in case you thought something of Gable.

We recap Seth Rollins defending the Raw World Title against the Fiend in the Cell. Rollins was attacked by the Fiend at the end of Clash Of Champions (hey I was there too) and we had a feud. Fiend then did his usual Firefly Fun House stuff and mocked Rollins, who admitted he was scared. Whether he is or not, it’s time to fight.

Raw World Title: Seth Rollins vs. The Fiend

Rollins is defending inside the Cell and we get the still awesomely creepy Fiend entrance, which starts out as the Firefly Fun House and then goes all weird with the head lantern. Oh and yes we get the red lights for the whole thing, because of course we do. Fiend shoves him down to start and even turns his back on Rollins before shrugging off some right hands. Rollins gets knocked out to the floor, where he grabs a kendo stick….which has no effect on the Fiend.

A release Rock Bottom plants Rollins and Fiend is rather bouncy. Fiend knocks him outside, where Rollins grabs the steps and manages to knock him down a few times. Rollins sets up a table but takes too long and gets Sister Abigailed into the Cell. Fans: “YOWIE WOWIE!” Back in and Rollins manages to superkick him onto the table and a frog splash drives Fiend through. The Stomp connects but Fiend pops back up with Sister Abigail. Fiend twists the neck and Rollins is in trouble…and it’s time for a big (comically big) mallet.

The mallet is used to drive Rollins into the Cell but he comes back with three straight superkicks. A Stomp onto the mallet has Fiend down again and a springboard knee to the head…doesn’t knock him down at all. More superkicks set up two more Stomps and we’ll make it a third (five total in the match). A Pedigree and a sixth Stomp get one as the move is killed and buried. Rollins Stomps him five more times in a row (that’s eleven) and then smashes him with a huge chair to the head.

That all gets one so let’s put the chair on his head and grab a ladder. Rollins uses the ladder to drive the chair into Fiend’s face for two and Rollins is rightfully stunned. He grabs a toolbox from underneath the ring and then puts the ladder and chair onto Fiend’s head. The toolbox is whipped onto the pile over and over and then laid on top.

You can hear the fans getting REALLY annoyed here and it gets worse as Rollins grabs the sledgehammer. The referee tries to talk him out of it but Rollins smashes the pile onto Fiend’s head anyway…..and the match, which is in the Cell, is STOPPED at 17:04. Eventually it would be called a referee stoppage but this 100% looked like a DQ in the Cell.

Rating: K. As an F isn’t low enough. I remember watching an interview with Jake Roberts where he criticized the idea of using a sledgehammer in a match. Roberts said something to the effect of “if I hit a man in the head with a sledgehammer and he gets up, what in the world is the DDT supposed to do?” That’s where my mind went here, as there is apparently nothing in the wrestling world that can stop the Fiend (including the Stomp, which was buried in the ground here).

This stopped being a match and started being some weird short film about an unstoppable monster. Not only was it stupid to have the match end in a DQ (referee stoppage my squirrel chowder) but they took one of the only signature matches that they had and turned it into…whatever this was. When you think about it, what exactly did the Cell add here? Rollins did all of the Stomps and the finish was a hammer to the head. In theory it adds more fear but it added nothing to the match itself, making the waste all the dumber.

The biggest problem here though is the suspension of disbelief. You can accept a lot in wrestling, but there is a limit to what the fans will accept. We went WAY beyond that here, as there was zero reason to have Fiend kick out of all that stuff and then just have the match stopped, making the whole thing a massive waste of time. Outside of burying the Cell concept, the Stomp and Rollins himself, what was accomplished here? This match missed the whole point and went in a different direction that no one but I’m guessing the Fiend and Vince McMahon wanted and it was atrocious in every sense.

Oh but we’re not done.

The fans immediately chant “BULLS***” as medics come in (still in the red light, because of course) and Rollins goes to check on Fiend. That earns him a Mandible Claw as Fiend shrugs everything off after about a minute and a half. Sister Abigail plants Rollins on the floor as the fans want the match restarted. Instead they get the floor mats peeled back and a Sister Abigail to Rollins on the concrete. Fiend puts the Mandible Claw on again and we get the creepy lights and closeups on Fiend as Rolling gags a lot. Fiend stands on the stage and his laugh fills the arena (along with the audible AEW chants) to end the show. They would have a rematch at the end of the month where Fiend won the title, which he would of course drop to Goldberg in a three minute match in February.

 

Results
Natalya b. Lacey Evans – Sharpshooter
Becky Lynch b. Sasha Banks – Disarm-Her
Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns b. Luke Harper/Erick Rowan – Spear to Harper
Randy Orton b. Mustafa Ali – RKO
Kabuki Warriors b. Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross – Kick to the head to Cross
Braun Strowman/Viking Raiders b. OC via DQ when Strowman was double teamed
Chad Gable b. Baron Corbin – Rollup
Charlotte b. Bayley – Figure Eight
Seth Rollins b. The Fiend via referee stoppage

 

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3.0

The final score: review Bad

The 411

This is a really tricky one to grade overall, because there are indeed positives on the show. A lot of the matches range from acceptable up to good, with Gable vs. Corbin and the tornado tag being highlights. There have been far worse shows if you look at it from an overall picture, but unfortunately that’s not how this show wound up going. The problem here is there is one thing on the show that was so bad and so stupid and so completely out there that it writes off every bit of the positives. The main event is quite possibly the worst main event that WWE has ever offered on a major show and that is covering A LOT of ground. This is the kind of main event that turns people off of a promotion and those chants at the end were not a good sign. Yeah those AEW chants were rather well timed. One thing to remember: this show was four days after the debut of AEW Dynamite. For the first time in forever, there was a big time promotion on national television and this is what WWE presents. Not only did they have that horrible main event, but a total of THREE matches were announced coming into the day of the show. Yeah of the nine matches (counting the Kickoff match), six were added that day. What a great way to present your stars. That’s where we get to what actually bothers me the most of this show: the Chad Gable name change. Gable is a rare breed of an Olympian who could talk and had charisma. But instead, let’s throw ALL of that out and turn him into a joke because he’s not 6’4. It’s an insult to the fans and the talent, as instead of Gable being given a chance that he has earned, he’s turned into a source for lame, tired short jokes. That’s one of the biggest problems in WWE: the company (and by that I mean Vince) sees someone one way and that is all they are, no matter how talented they may be. If you don’t want to push him then fine, but don’t turn him into a joke who is there to be laughed at for your own amusement. This show is pretty much only remembered for the main event though and it still stands as a sign of all the things wrong with WWE during this era. The Gable stuff might have been even dumber and more of a perfect illustration, but the Cell had a bigger impact. It more or less told the fans “we don’t care anymore” and that’s not a good way to deal with the rise of your first serious competition in a long while. The show isn’t a complete disaster, but that’s pretty much only if you stop watching after Charlotte beats Bayley. Horrible show, but mainly for just two reasons, albeit massive ones.