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SICKOS! Do not adjust your, um, computer screens (or phone screens). I am here with you all for tonight’s late edition of Collision and tonight should contain no shortage of amazing action no matter the time it is on TV.

We already know that Brody King is moving on to the 4-way International Title match this Wednesday, but who will join him? That will be determined in two qualifying matches between Claudio Castagnoli and Komander, as well as Hechicero and Mascara Dorada. The Don Callis Family will take on the Paragon with special guest BIG TOM, LFI will face AR Fox and the Martin Brothers, and MINA Shirakawa will face Skye Blue. We’ll also hear from FTR, the Gates of Agony will have a tough match, I am sure, and of course, so much more!

So, how are you all on this late night? I’m not saying that I would forsake AEW wrestling, but tomorrow is my next concert, and I am looking forward to it for sure. I’m also looking forward to the PACERS going to the Finals for the first time in 25 years, to face the Thunder. Yeah, it might not end well, but still, we made it! Oh, and the paperwork is signed, I have my keys, and I will be in my house before the end of June!

But, hey, that’s enough about me, let’s get ready to COLLIDE!

Image Credit: Follow the Revolution – FTR on Facebook

Tonight, we are NOT live from El Paso, Texas! Tony Schiavone and Nigel McGuiness, the true Collision Cowboys, are on the call tonight!

FINALLY, 13 minutes after the start time, we’re getting underway!

AEW International Title Qualifier: Claudio Castagnoli vs. Komander
The bell rings, and, despite Claudio needing to be upset that he got punched in the face with brass knuckles on Christmas Day last year, he’s in no real hurry here. That does change when Claudio takes Komander to the corner and kicks him down. Komander tries to fight back, but Claudio puts a quick end to that. Head scissors do take Claudio down. Komander walks the ropes, and he snaps the arm of Claudio. Komander goes back to the well, but Claudio snatches him out of the air and switches into the GIANT SWING! Claudio kicks Komander out of the ring and chops him around the ring side area. Claudio chucks Komander into the barricade and resets the count in the ring. Komander tries again to fight back, but Claudio shuts that down and shoves him back into the ring.

A whip into the corner, and Komander goes up and over. Komander back into the ring and he steps on the head of Claudio! A Tiaras takes Claudio out of the ring! One dive, it connects. Komander does the super rope walk but he is intercepted by Claudio! A back breaker! A second one! A third one! The cover, Komander out at two! Claudio keeps Komander grounded with a variation of the Boston Crab. He picks up Komander, but he counters with a face plant. Komander to the top, no one home on the dive. Claudio drags Komander out of the ring, he carries him on his back to the top corner! Komander reverses with a top rope Frankensteiner! The cover, kick out at two. Sunset Bomb by Komander! Another kick out at two! Komander hypes up the crowd. Moonsault attempt is met with a European Uppercut! The Neutralizer from Claudio gets him the win!
WINNER: Claudio Castagnoli
TIME: 7:35
THOUGHTS: A short one, but a really fun match for what we got. Air moves are just as much fun as Anti-Air moves!
RATING: ***1/2

We get a recap of the events from Double or Nothing, and a replay of the confrontation between Hangman and Swerve on Dynamite.

After Dynamite this past week, The Remarkable Renee Paquette got a word with Swerve and Prince Nana. Swerve wants to clarify that he has tried to move on from the past and make things right. Will Ospreay is here to cut him off. He says that the belt should be around the best wrestler in the company, and that is Hangman. Swerve scoffs, and says that he has had a squad before, at Double or Nothing, and he is done with that. Ospreay won’t let him get in his car, so a fight ensues!
My thoughts: So, does this mean that we now have a match between Strickland and Ospreay at All-In? If so, sigh me up!

The Don Callis Family is here for the next match!

The Don Callis Family (Takeshita, Baretta, and Romero) vs. Paragon and BIG TOM
The DCF launch an attack before the bell, and RPG Vice single out O’Reilly. KOR catches Baretta on the floor with a knee, but Romero takes him out. Strong here, he hits a BACKBREAKER on Romero. Baretta and Takeshita end up in the chair, and Ishii and Strong hold them in place for a missile drop kick from O’Reilly! Back in the ring, Strong hits a side slam, and BIG TOM is in. He wants to get revenge on Romero, and he slaps him around in the corner. Strong gets the tag, but Romero fights him off and gets the tag to Baretta. Strong uses Romero as a battering ram to take out Baretta lol. Callis uses the referee’s distraction to clock Strong. PIP Break.

P-P-P-IP BREAK!
-LIMU EMU…and Doug.
-Nature Made, the #1 recommended vitamin and supplement!
-SON (BEEP), SON OF (BEEP), SON OF (BEEP)!
-Phoenician Scheme does look like fun. Watch Lambert give it a 3/10 now lol.
-Kids are so expensive, so name them after your business!
-Dynamites, the institution on Wednesday Night’s, BRUV!

We’re back, as Strong hits an ANGLE SLAM on Takeshita. O’Reilly and Baretta are in. Romero comes in just because and gets kicked around by KOR. Strong reverses a whip, goes between the legs of Baretta and hits a release German and a rolling forearm. The cover, but Takeshita breaks it up. KOR with a kitchen sink and Takeshita is sent out of the ring. BIG TOM in now. Baretta tries, in vain, to attack him, but he gets floored. Takeshita in! BIG MEN SUFFLAE! The entire DCF in now, double team suplex on BIG TOM sends Takeshita to the top. Paragon is back though to deposit RPG Vice on the floor. Ishii with a pin attempt on Takeshita, he kicks out at two. BIG forearm from Takeshita into the Blue Thunder Bomb. The cover, Strong breaks it up. Everyone, get your shit in! It resets to Takeshita and BIG TOM. Ishii tries a suplex, but he gets shoved into the referee. Baretta sneaks in and hits a low blow on BIG TOM. Takeshita with the pin for the win.
WINNER: The Don Callis Family
TIME: 10:10
THOUGHTS: Fairly competent six-man match. If the DCF were to win, which they did, Takeshita had to get the pin, which he did. It was cool to see BIG TOM team up with Paragon, though.
RATING: ***1/4

Promo for All-In Texas, because it is never too early to push the biggest show of the AEW year!

COMMERCIALS!

Jane’s Addiction means the arrival of the 5-Tool Player!

AEW Continental Title Eliminator: Anthony Bowens vs. Champion Kazuchika Okada
The fans like Bowens, but they LOVE themselves some Okada…BITCH!

The bell rings, and an early lockup favors Okada. Another lockup, this time favoring Bowens. Bowens shows the scissors to Okada, but he doesn’t like that one bit. Okada sends him off, reversals ensue, ending with an over-the-shoulders Fameasser for Bowens. Neck Breaker across his knee from Bowens, cover, Okada out at two. OH, SCISSOR ME BOWENS chants. Okada is whipped by Bowens, but he slides outside of the ring, looking for a break. Bowens spins him around, and forearms ensue. Bowens gets the upper hand, but as he resets the count, Okada surprises him with a kick to the gut and a DDT on the floor! PIP Break.

BAKED PIP!
-Baked beans, ew, no, gross.
-Progressive, puts notes all over your body so you remember shit!
-How to Train Your Dragon in cahoots with BK.
-OH, MY BOB’S!
-Is new Bounty better than everything else? IDK.
-Tennis! LOVE! DEUCE! NIL!
-Comcast is overpriced bullshit.
-ADT, beep Boop bop!

We’re back, as Okada hits a scoop slam and ascends to the top rope. Elbow drop from Okada, the post, PAN OUT, THE FINGER! ICHBAN! Bowens catches his finger with scissors though, and he fires up. Kicks and a swinging neck breaker gets Bowens a two count. Bowens to the top, Okada cuts him off and climbs up, too. Bowens fights him off, but Okada won’t give up. Bowens sneaks out and hits a thrust kick to the knee! Enziguri to the back of the head and a DDT by Bowens! The cover, Okada out at two. Bowens holds the ropes, avoiding the Okada drop kick, and he turns it into a jackknife pin for a two count. Backslide for a two count. Okada stops all of that with his patented neck breaker. Okada with a variation of his Money Clip as the fans chant THIS IS AWESOME. Bowens swipes at Okada, but that only pisses him off as he beats Bowens into the ropes. Bowens fights back with forearms and a huge hammer forearm to the back sends Okada to the mat. Bowens cuts off a Rainmaker and hits a kick combination. MOLLYWOP, but Okada cuts it off with the drop kick! RAINMAKER! That’s game!
WINNER: Kazuchika Okada
TIME: 10:30
THOUGHTS: I would not have been too upset of Bowens had won here, since it was just an Eliminator. He still had a great showing against
RATING: ***1/4

Lexi Nair in the back with Daniel Garcia and Matt Menard. Garcia says he hasn’t been over the loss, but Menard says stop mopping around. Don Callis and Lance Archer are here. Callis makes jokes about Menard and says you don’t take a Lamborghini to anyone but the best mechanic, and he is the best manager in the game. Garcia tells him that he doesn’t need another old man to tell him what to do with his career. Callis says he isn’t asking for hostages, just volunteers, and he wants Garcia to think about it.

My Thoughts: I know that are already like a million members in the DCF, but man, if anyone could bring out the best in a heel Garcia, it would be Don Callis. Kind of interested in this development.

COMMERCIALS!

Tony is in the ring to hype up the crowd, before introducing Stokely Hathaway and FTR. Tony looks very dejected, as FTR get into the ring. Stokely wants the mic from him, as Dax eggs on Nigel to get into the ring. Sunday, at Double or Nothing, FTR probed that they are the greatest tag team alive, today. They are living legend killers, and they proved they were right about Nigel. You belong behind the commentary table, brother. They give him an A for effort, and a D for execution. The Mexican border is just a hop, skip, and jump away. FTR have issued an open challenge to any team from Mexico for Collision or Dynamite. Stokely reads some stuff off a paper which totally wasn’t funny, but I digress. Atlantic Jr. and Templario are here to answer the challenge! Cash on the mic now. They respect them so much, they are big fans of Atlantis Sr. But they are living Lucha legends themselves! They’ve had gold down in Mexico, and now, 7-Start FTR need to be 8-Star FTR now. Maybe they go to CMLL and win gold there. Maybe they can be their scrimmage match.

Dax on the mic now. He wants another mic lol. They have no issue with them, my name is Dax, this is Cash, this is Big Stoke.

Stoke: I think they’re saying God Bless you in Spanish.

LMAO!

Dax says that they are big stars in the US, everyone knows them. Since they are doing a joint show in Mexico in June, he has a question for them. They know they are big stars here, but how does it feel to be recognized by their countrymen. No one knows who you are in these Mighty Morphin Power Rangers masks. Grand Slam Mexico, who is your dream match? The biggest match of your career, the biggest event of their career, he imagines that they want to wrestle FTR. But Dax knows that Tony Khan has bigger plans and bigger opponents for them. But know that he loves Atlantis and his battles with Villano III! Tell your father to keep his old ass at home and do not mess with FTR.

Atlantis steals the mic. My father is not here to defend himself, so if you want to say something, TELL ME TO MY FACE, PERRO!

Dax doesn’t want any trouble, this is about CMLL and AEW. Dax takes a cheap shot on Templario. They ty the spiked piledriver, but Atlantis cuts off Cash. Pop-up assist drop kick wipes out FTR! CARTWHEEL PLANCHA ONTO THE FLOOR BY ATLANTIS! Atlantis on the mic again, he says they will see them very soon, because they are going to KICK…THEIR…ASSES!

My Thoughts: Well, that was a lot of fun. Very excited to see Templario and Atlantis get a shot at FTR on the Grand Slam Mexico show. Should be a dandy!

We get a replay of the main event, DARLING fest between TIMELESS Toni Storm and the CEO Mercedes Mone. You know, we’re still, what, six weeks away, but the build for this feud can only get better and better.

Next up, it’s a battle of CS 22’s favorite wrestler against MY favorite wrestler!

Skye Blue vs. Mina Shirakawa
We get an early lockup between the ladies, with no clear favorite. Not the second time, as Blue drops Mina to the mat and mock kicking her in the head. Skye shuts down Mina’s attempt with a kick to the gut and another one to the back as she mocks Mina’s dance. The nerve! Blue charges the corner, but Mina evades and hits a palm strike. A kick by Mina, she goes to the top and dances! Meteora style move from the top, she covers Skye for a two count. Blue on the apron, she suckers Mina in. Skye blocks Mina’s German and hits a flat liner on the apron! PIP Break.

BUT THERE IS NO QUARTER FOR PIP THIS TIME! 🧐

We’re back, as Mina hits a DDT on Skye. Running knee follows from Mina. Mina with a big forearm, she catches the leg of Skye, Dragon Screw Leg Whip! Minta looks for the Figure-Four, but Skye kicks her in the booty to break that. Mina in the corner, but Skye runs in and catches Mina in the corner. Cheeky Nandos into a powerbomb from Sky, but Mina kicks out at two. Skye picks up Mina, but she fights out. Both ladies cut each other off in the ropes. Code Blue attempt is cut off my Mina. Mina to the top, Sling Blade from the top rope! The cover, Skye out at two. Mina Driver is reversed, Skye gets rolled up, she reverses, Mina kicks out at two. Rolling Forearm, Back fist, and Mina Driver does the deal!
WINNER: Mina Shirakawa
TIME: 9:00
THOUGHTS: Skye has tried so hard, and got so far, especially in her return from her broken ankle, but in the end, it doesn’t even matter, because MINA was the better woman tonight!
RATING: **********

Post-Match Julia Hart is here to attack Mina! She puts on Hartless, but Toni Storm is here to save the day! She hits a release German on Blue! She wants a hip attack, but Hart pulls her from the ring. Storm checks on Mina, no kiss this time, so boo.

Short promo for The Gates of Agony. They have a match after the break. Yay!

COMMERCIALS!

Post-break, we shall open the Gates…OF AGONY!!!!!

The Gates of Agony vs. GMO Kominari and Cosmo Orion
NGL, one sounds a weight loss supplement, and the other sounds like an astronaut. Cosmo TRIES to fight of Bishop Kaun in the corner, but he pays for this insolence. Tony Khan has made two matches official for Fyter Fest this Wednesday, with FTR facing Atlantis Jr. and Templario, and Toni Storm and Mina Shirakawa will face Skye Blue and Julia Hart. While I have slowly typed this one, Kaun and Toa Liona have committed felony murder.
WINNER: The Gates of Agony
TIME: 2:10
THOUGHTS: Nothing but a murder thang!
RATING: N/R

Max Caster promo. He is in a room with people and is motivating them to do his chant. He wants all the people to sign this petition, acknowledging that he is the best wrestler alive. He says he will take pictures, but he ends up running out of the room and down the hallway.

My Thoughts: I mean, it was better than Max getting squashed every week, and it was a funny ending, too

LFI are here now, and someone might get the HERNS!

LFI vs. Top Flight and AR Fox
God dang, Leila Grey, have mercy!

LFI attack before the bell, as RUSH rips the turnbuckle pad off the corner. Fox fights off RUSH, but Dralistico and Mortos take care of him. Well, temporarily, anyway, as Fox throws Dralistico to the floor and hits his over-the-top double stomp on Mortos! RUSH floors him, but here are the Martin’s to take care of LFI. Back in the ring, Darius hits an enziguri to Mortos out of the corner, but RUSH back in and he flattens both him and AR Fox. Fox in the wrong part of town, so RUSH sends him to his corner and runs him over. RUSH fakes out Fox with the threat of the HERNS, but he pulls up and kicks him in the face. He does the Tranquillo pose, and we’re off to PIP.

PIP that doesn’t get the HERNS:
-OH MY BOB’S…AGAIN!
-Rex is just a fun dog who loves chaos!
-USAA, pass it on down!
-Dad, let’s go play hockey and tie it into Credit One bank!
-DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN, MUSTACHE!
-Metamucil gets things moving!
-Tennis!

We’re back, as Mortos taunts Fox’s tag team partners by blowing a snot rocket at them lol. Triple Shotgun Dropkick from LFI! Fox kicks out at two, as Nigel drops a Coal Chamber reference. Fox FINALLY tags out to Darius, and he knocks RUSH and Mortos from the apron. Thrust kick and a springboard flatliner to Dralistico. The cover, but Mortos and RUSH make the save. Shotgun drop kick from Dante into a release German from Darius! Assisted DDT on RUSH. Triple team action on Dralistico in the LFI corner. Rocket Launcher into a cutter on Dralistico! The cover, but Dralistico kicks out at two! Thrust kick into a Mexican Destroyer by Dralistico! The cover, Fox with the save. Mortos and RUSH kill whatever spirit AR had left. Dralistico springboards in with a Code Breaker, then wipes out Dante and Fox on the floor! Crucifix drop by Mortos, and the bull goes flying to the floor! Darius is prone in the corner, and he just got the HERNS! And of course, no one kicks out of that!
WINNER: LFI
TIME: 10:15
THOUGHTS: Really fun match, and it is great to see the entire LFI unit together finally. I hope it stays that way, because a Trios’ Title feud with the Opps would be amazing!
RATING: ***3/4

Post-match, RUSH attempts to kill Darius with the green cable cord, but here comes Speedball and Komander to make the save. LFI overpower them, but Fox and Top Flight are back to fend them off. RUSH stands by Nigel and says IF YOU MESS THE BULL, YOU GET THE HERNS. Yeah, we all know that my guy.

Mark Briscoe with a promo. He took an L on Wednesday, that happens. His son asked him if he quit, but he did not quit. he would never quit. His kids are doubting him. He wants Moxley in Denver this week. It’s not about the title, it’s about whopping that ass. MAN UP, MOX.

My thoughts: Cut and dry, and Moxley and Briscoe would be a hell of a lot of fun, for sure.

COMMERCIALS!

Well, that didn’t take long, as TK has made Moxley and Briscoe official for Wednesday, as well as LFI against Bailey, Komander, and Kevin Knight. Thekla will also make her make her debut as well!

It’s time for the main event!

AEW International Title Qualifier: Hechichero vs. Mascara Dorada
IDK about all of you, but this should be damn exciting!

The bell rings, and the main event will begin. Dorada wants to shake hands, and Hechichero obliges. Hechichero gives up his hand, allowing him to contort Dorada into a pretzel. We reset, and Dorada takes Hechichero to the made, looking for a submission. Hechichero reverses, and slaps Dorada to the mat repeatedly. Dorada wrenches back and tries a leg lock submission, but that is broken. Dorada yells NO NO NO, as Hechichero applies the Romero Special! Dorada escapes, and he wants to try it, and he gets it applied. Hechichero just walks right out of the move through and goes to the outside. Dorada follows, and Hechichero gets back in the ring. Both men play a game on chess, before Dorada uses the ring post and hits a hurrincanrana! Back in the ring, Dorada to the top, he does a bit of a top rope walk and hits a Hurrincanrana! A guillotine leg drop from Hechichero has Dorada in trouble, though. PIP Break!

Sorry, I spent the break trying to reverse my window from going into full screen mode, lol

Dorada with an enziguri from the apron as we are back. Hechichero tries something, but he hits the ropes, and Dorada hits him, sending him from the ring. Dorada sticks the landing and takes out Hechichero. Dorada to the top, cross body to Hechichero, but he throws him off. He rolls through Dorada with a body scissors, and reversals are traded for two counts. Both men collide in the middle of the ring, and the match is reset. Dorada flips off of Hechichero, but he runs him over by just running into him. Dorada reverses Hechichero with another roll-up for a two count. Hechichero catches Dorada in the ropes and hits a Dragon Screw. He raises the knee of Dorada and stomps on it in the ropes. Hechichero to the top, big elbow drop for a two count. Dorada with a big overhand slap. Hechichero with straight punches, but Dorada hits a tilt-a-world backstabber! Dorada to the top rope, Hechichero moves, and he hits a low drop kick to the bad knee. Hechichero puts Dorada on his shoulders and goes to the top, but Dorada escapes. SPRINGBOARD POISON RANA FROM THE TOP BY DORADA! He goes to the top again, SHOOTING STAR PRESS! DORADA IS MOVING ON!
WINNER: Mascara Dorada
TIME: 13:00
THOUGHTS: More of this, please, and thank you. The working relationship with CMLL is a blessing for both companies, and as a result, you get matches like this! Amazing!
RATING: ****1/4

Dorada celebrates to end the show, and with that, we are done!