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Whatup, Monday 411Maniacs? It’s time for another episode of WWE Raw! I’m Jeremy Thomas, and I’m filling in for Tony for the as he had to work late. Apologies for having to deal with me and not him. Anyway, we’re on our second episode on Netflix and I’m feeling optimistic that we’ll actually get some storyline stuff happening this time around! Tonight’s show will feature a Street Fight between Damian Priest and Finn Bálor, Dakota Kai taking on Lyra Valkyria to crown the first Women’s Intercontinental Champion, Chad Gable taking on a mysterious “top-notch luchador” that we definitely don’t know who THAt will be, Sheamus vs. Ludwig Kaiser and appearances by CM Punk, Rhea Ripley and Gunther. Sounds like a lot of fun on the whole! Let’s just jump right in.

As a reminder, the GoFundMe for Larry’s kids is still active and if you can make a donation, that would be awesome. Thank you so much to everyone who’s done so thus far.

* TUDUM.

* We’re LIVE in the SAP Center in San Jose, California! Big drone shot looking over the venue before we go to a recap of last week’s Raw debut on Netflix. That includes Triple H’s promo, celebs appearing, The Rock, Jey Uso beating Drew, Rhea winning the Women’s Title and posing with Taker, a VERY brief Hogan clip, Roman Reign becoming Tribal Chief, and John Cena entering the Rumble. Finally we get a recap of CM Punk’s battle with Seth Rollins and coming out with the win.

* A car arrives at the arena as the crowd chants for CM Punk, which is good because that’s who it is. Punk does the Hogan hand-to-ear think as he walks to the arena and Michael Cole trashes the Blackhawks. Rude. (Maybe it’s called for though, I’m not a hockey guy.)

Punk gets in the ring with a mic and does a victory lap before he lets the crowd chant for him for a bit. He says it does his heart good and he loves San Jose. But real quick, he needs to say something: he acknowledges the firefighters and first responders in California, and surrounding states should send people to help fight the fires, plus Canada and Mexico.

And now for the entertainment portion, he says it’s good to be alive in San Jose. He asks if they watched last week when he defeated “The Messiah” Seth Rollins. He says he has a lot on his plate but Seth isn’t one of them. He says last year at the Rumble in his first televised match in WWE in a decade, it didn’t go his way and his tricep decided to take a vacation. He didn’t know what his future held. That caused him to cede in the distance and his dreams that were so scary, he couldn’t see. (Cena-style handwave.) He says a lot of people can’t see the WrestleMania sign for him, but he sees it. He made his setback his biggest comeback.

And speaking of comebacks, John Cena. He sees Cena and always has. Cena’s declared for the Rumble and so is he! He’s going to throw 29 people over the top whether they can see him or not, and his music will play. He tells them to play his music —

AND SETH IS HERE! Seth comes out in fashionable red and black, and Punk asks why Rhea Ripley couldn’t interrupt him. Rollins comes down to the ring with a mic and takes his shades off. He’s got a black eye, and Punk mouths, “Not bad!” Rollins says he knows Punk isn’t happy to see him, but he can’t be surprised. He said win, lose or draw last week that he would be standing in the ring on Raw. He’s a man of his word; if he wasn’t, if he didn’t show up when times got hard that would be Punk.

Punk says “But I’d be the winner still, right?”

Rollins says he’d rather be the worst version of himself than any version of Punk. He says he’s lost a lot of big matches, but last week’s was the worst loss of his career. He’s never been more disappointed in himself that he underestimated Punk and couldn’t get the job done. And the only thing he can do to seek redemption is flush Punk’s WrestleMania dreams down the toilet. He says Punk won’t win the Royal Rumble because he will. He says he’ll take great pride in dumping Punk over the top on his way to the main event of WrestleMania.

Punk says he sees a guy who couldn’t beat him so has to take the easy road by throwing him over the top —

AND DREW IS HERE! Punk is annoyed. Drew stops at the stage and says just when he thinks Punk can’t get more disgusting, selfish and self-serving, Punk tops himself. Punk says the last time they were face to face Punk was busted open with tears in his eyes begging for his life. He says if Drew takes one step closer it will take more than 15 staples to close his head.

Drew says he was talking to Seth, not Punk and Seth says Punk’s invitation is his and he’ll stomp Drew into the mat. Drew tells Rollins to look in the mirror and they’re both alike. Drew says the difference is Punk admits what a piece of crap he is. He says Seth acts like a big leader but it’s an act, he’s all talk. He talked about how he argued that they can’t let Roman get power but did nothing last week. Drew stop Jey from interfering and Seth lost his match.

Rollins says he has no patience for Drew’s crap and Punk says he has no issue with either and if they want to swing, he’s right there. Rollins says “Let’s go!” Drew asks if they want Punk, Rollins and McIntyre in San Jose? He starts to walk and then says, “NO! Why would I ever do that?” He says there’s a bigger problem because Roman is playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers. He’s a reluctant hero and he’ll have to step up for the locker room. If only there was a match where he could get the title — oh wait, there is! Drew says he’ll see them both in the Royal Rumble.

* Damian Priest has arrived ahead of tonight’s Street Fight with Finn Balor, who WALKS with JD McDonagh backstage. Lyra and Dakota have also arrived for their Women’s IC Title Match.

* Chad Gable is out here for his match with the best luchadore Adam Pearce can find. That match is next. We’re back and the lights go out — IT’S PENTA TIME! Even Cole calls it the worst kept secret in the business.

Chad Gable vs. Penta

The crowd is into Penta to start as he and Gable circle before Penta plays to the crowd a bit. He talks trash to Gable, who locks in a wristlock that gets reversed. Penta with a headlock, shot into the ropes, back into the headlock. Counterwrestling between them, Gable with a drop-toe hold into a headlock. Penta reverses and works Gable over, roll-up for one. Arm drag by Gable, Penta with one of his own, trips and one-counts from both before they come face to face.

Circle by Penta and Gable and the crowd is cheering as Gable shoves Penta, then lays in the punches. Chop in the corner, whip across the ring, Gable charges right into a superkick! Rana takedown, springboard legdrop and Gable rolls out of the ring. Penta off the ropes but Gable is in for a suplex and cover for two.

Penta put in the corner, Gable climbs for mounted punches on the turnbuckle. Penta nails him, sets him up and hits the superkick through the legs! Handstand on the corner into a kick to a downed Gable. Gable to the apron, Penta with a kick to the gut. Springboard to the apron, Gable decks him and hits a GERMAN SUPLEX onto the apron!

Gable kicks at Penta on the floor and rolls him into the ring. He slaps Penta’s leg into the ringpost, then is back in to work over the leg with kneedrops. Gable snaps the leg forward and then picks him up to drop Penta’s knee into his upper leg, cover gets two.

Gable up top, he LEAPS but Penta moves! Superkick from Penta, who then charges but is caught with a belly-to-belly into the turnbuckles! Gable and Penta both to their knees and trade slaps to the chest. Back to their feet and the strikes continue, Penta sent into the ropes but hits a kick and then a Sling Blade! Gable charges him but gets sent over the top to the outside! Penta off the ropes — tope con hilo onto Gable! Both men are down as the crowd chants “Holy shit!”

Penta rolls Gable in and gets on the apron — kick to Gable’s face. Penta up top, high crossbody. Gable up in the corner and gets his leg kicked. Gable sends Penta to the other corner and runs in, Penta goes up and over for a backstabber for a nearfall. Penta up, BIG kick to the side of Gable’s shoulder. But Gable comes back with a German Suplex, he bridges for two-plus.

Gable goes up but Penta cuts him off. He goes for a swing but Gable grabs the arm and bends over the ropes for an armbar for four. Penta comes back with a slap to the chest and then a rana over the ropes to the mat! Mexican Destroyer by Penta gets two-plus!

Penta with a kick to the side of the head and he signals to the crowd. Kick but Gable catches it — dragon screw legwhip. Gable goes for the anklelock! Penta crawls toward the rope and is pulled to the center — he turns it around into the Sacrifice! Penta Driver finishes it!

Winner: Penta (13:25)
Rating: *** 3/4
Thoughts: Well that was fucking awesome. Penta looked fantastic in there and Gable was the perfect guy for him to work with. It was a more competitive bout than I may have expected but the San Jose crowd loved him and it marked a great debut for Penta.

Penta is welcomed to Raw and is asked what the moment means to him. He says thank you, and THANK YOU SAN JOSE! He says this is his new home and he knows everyone was waiting for this moment. But he wants to say something: the real truth is, he’s been waiting for this moment. He switches to Spanish and the crowd was into it. He says he knows this is a new era, right? This is the WWE new era, so this is not only the Netflix new era; it’s now the Penta New Era!

* The Judgment Day guys are talking and Liv and Raquel comes up, with Liv asking if they’re talking about her. Finn says that he was telling the guys she would get the title back. Liv says it was more about the title; it was about taking a piece from Rhea that she’ll never get back.

Finn says he’s going to let the lovers talk out their issues. Dom has roses and Liv says she’s not mad, then tells Dom to go get her bags from the car and make sure the valet knows the car is ready for the night. She tosses the flowers to Carlito and walks off. Dom doesn’t think Liv is mad and Finn, Carlito and JD talk about getting the tag titles back. They leave and Dom asks if Finn wants him out there. Finn says he has to make things right with his girl and tells him to get the bags.

* We get a reminder of the Eagles guy trying a Pedigree during Sunday’s NFL Wild Card Game.

* Daniel Cormier is in the audience, as is Bron Breakker to watch the next match.

Sheamus vs. Ludwig Kaiser

Circle and they trade slaps before Sheamus puts Kaiser in the corner and beats him down. Sheamus into the ropes, blocks an armdrag and hits a short-arm clothesline, then wrenches on Kaiser’s face on the apron. Kaiser nails Sheamus who goes to the floor, they trade shots on the floor and Sheamus takes over. Kaiser into the ring and Sheamus goes for his forearms but Kaiser blocks it and comes off the ropes to knock Sheamus off the apron to the commentary table. Kaiser out of the ring and runs the length of the ringside area, hitting a running stomp to Sheamus as we go to break.

We’re back as Kaiser covers Sheamus for two. Kick to Sheamus’ chest, then off the ropes for another. Sheamus tells Kaiser for more, another kick and then one to the back. Kaiser off the ropes but Sheamus up and grabs him, repeated chops and a knockdown. Sheamus puts Kaiser on the apron for the 10 forearms. Kaiser thrown back in the ring, Sheamus gets him in a Fireman’s Carry and goes up for White Noise — he hits it! Cover gets a nearfall.

Kaiser has the shillelagh but Sheamus with a running knee and cover for two! He’s up and signalling for the Brogue Kick — Kaiser dodges and hits a step-up enzuigiri for two. They counter each other, Sheamus with a chop and knee but Kaiser with a rolling senton for a nearfall!

Kaiser is up and mocks Sheamus, he goes for a kick but Sheamus ducks — BROGE KICK! That finishes it.

Winner: Sheamus (8:48)
Rating: ***
Thoughts: Good, solid hoss fight here. Sheamus had to get the win here and it doesn’t hurt Kaiser, as he looked competitive. No complaints.

Sheamus faces off with Bron and they talk trash — Bron shoves Sheamus! An official keeps them apart.

* Seth is backstage and Cathy Kelley walks up and asks about his meeting with Pearce earlier. A match is set between Seth and Drew for next week. Seth says he’s at his wit’s end and he owes Drew for last year’s WrestleMania anyway, so he’s looking forward to it. He continues to walk and Sami walks up. Sami says if Seth wants to talk, he’s there. Seth says it was a rough week last week for him but a great week for Sami, right? Sami asks what he means and Seth mentions Reigns getting the ula fala back and Sami helping him. He asks how far it’s going to go and will Sami stay helping Roman, or help himself?

* Gunther WALKS backstage.

* Miz and Karrion Kross are backstage and Kross isn’t happy because the Wyatt Sicks have been moved to Smackdown. Sami Zayn walks up and asks if Pearce is in his office and Kross says yes. He says he heard Zayn’s conversation with Seth and how Zayn needs to do for himself. Miz jokes that they don’t have to worry about Zayn World Titles and Zayn says that he’s going to get a match with Miz tonight. He leaves and Miz says now they have to deal with Zayn. Kross says, “We?” and walks off chuckling.

* Oba Femi is here with the NXT Championship.

* GUNTHER HAS ARRIVED! Gunther makes his way to the ring and gets a mic. He says last week with a lot of interest, he followed Raw’s Netflix debut and watched monumental moments happen. He was impressed. When it comes to the in-ring performances, he was less impressed. He wished that there was a roster besides him that could fulfill expectations. Everyone was fighting over personal drama and who cares? The only prize worth fighting for is the World Heavyweight Champion. And he’s the man who —

USO! Jey Uso has arrived! He comes into the ring and Yeets a fair bit before getting a mic. Pat really wants Gunther to Yeet, but not so much. Jey saks if he heard Gunther say he needs someone to care about the World Heavyweight Title? He’s looking at him: Main Event Jey Uso! Jey says Drew’s behind him, Bloodline drama behind him so it’s him now. He wants to face Gunther at Saturday Night’s Main Event for the title.

Gunther laughs and asks if Jey is serious. Jey takes the glasses off and yeets. Gunther admires Jey’s courage to challenge him, and he’d be naive to think he can hold onto it forever, but it’s even more naive to Jey to think he’s taking the title. He reminds Jey that they battled for the IC Title twice, and Gunther lost twice. Gunther knows what Jey is capable of, and it’s less than he is. He admits Jey is funny and entertaining, but when the bell rings he’ll expose Jey for what he is: a really really talented tag team wrestler. He says Jey isn’t on his level and to him, main event is a nickname. To Gunther, main event is where he belongs. So he suggests Jey think about it, but he suggests Jey stick to his Yeets and stay out of championship business. SNME is fine with him but the choice is Jey’s.

Gunther leaves the ring and Jey says “Yo Gunther, hold up.” He says he respects Gunther and everything he said is true. “He’s better than me, he’s not supposed to be here, he’s just a tag team guy.” He says he was scared to do this along but he bets on himself to earn respect. So at Saturday Night’s Main Event, Gunther will respect him when he beats him for the title. Main Event is where he belongs. He has the crowd Yeet to an amused Gunther to signal they want Jey to win.

* We get a hype video for Lyra vs. Dakota.

WWE Women’s Intercontinental Championship Match
Dakota Kai vs. Lyra Valkyria

Lockup to start, Kai into the ropes, leapfrogs, Kai gets Lyra on her shoulder but she slips off, into the ropes and she picks up Dakota who elbows out. Wristlock by Lyra, they counterwrestle, Kai with a leaping snapmare and she gets Lyra on the apron but Lyra down and pulls Kai to the floor, shoving her into the apron. She goes into the ring for a dropkick through the ropes but Dakota grabs her and drops her onto the apron. Kai on the apron but Lyda trips her, up to the apron — SUPLEX TO THE FLOOR as we go to break.

We’re back as Lyra puts Dakota in a bow and arrow submission with her feet in Dakota’s back. She lifts her up, drops her down and lifts her up again to launch her. Cover gets two. Fisherman’s suplex countered by Kai into a rollup for two. Superkick by Kai, Lyra dodges a kick and lays in strikes. Kai ducks a spin kick and hits a handstand kick but Lyra catches her and lifts her into powerbomb position — Dakota turns it into a rana. Charging kick in the corner, sunset flip backstabber gets two-plus!

Dakota gets Lyra on her shoulders for the GTK but Lyra counters and hits a sitout powerbomb for two. Spin kick by Lyra, who goes up top — Rocker dropper off the top for a nearfall.

Lyra gets Dakota on her shoulders but Kai escapes and hits a kick to the face. She puts Lyra on the apron and stomps her in the ring — GTK! But Lyra rolls out of the ring! Lyra out of the ring and grabs Lyra, pushing her in and following. Kai charges in for a kick but Lyra moves and hits a Sling Blade! Nightwing! First champ!

Winner: Lyra Valkyria (8:37)
Rating: ***
Thoughts: Good effort by these two, and nice to see Lyra get her first main roster title. They delivered on what they needed to.

Lyra and Dakota shake hands and hug post-match.

* Finn is preparing for his match backstage.

The Miz vs. Sami Zayn

Lockup to start, Sami pushed into the corner and Miz unloads on him. Headlock by Miz, he’s shot into the ropes and Zayn leapfrogs over him, then decks him on the rebound. Sami up to the second rope for an axehandle. Miz battles back and hits a knee to the gut on Sami off the ropes, then kicks Zayn on the mat. Miz off the ropes for another kick to Sami’s head, then nails a punch to the head before driving the knee into the back a couple times and beating him down.

Miz mocks the crowd for cheering Sami and booing him — and Sami comes back with punches. Zayn leapfrogs over Miz and hits a clothesline, then buts Miz in the corner for a mounted 10-count of punches — plus several extra! Miz crawls away and charges in, right into an Exploder suplex into the corner. Zayn charges for a Helluva Kick but Miz comes out with a kick to Zayn and cover for two.

Miz with It Kicks to the chest of Zayn, he back up and charges but Zayn ducks and goes for a Blue Thunder Bomb. Miz counters into Skull Crushing Finale which Miz counters into a rolluip for two. Miz nails Zayn in the corner and backs up — Zayn with a Helluva Kick and Blue Thunder Bomb for the win!

Winner: Sami Zayn (4:07)
Rating: ** 1/2
Thoughts: As good as a four minute match can be. Zayn and Miz are always great but can only do so much with that time.

* Rhea Ripley WALKS backstage.

* Set For Saturday Night’s Main Event:
– WWE Intercontinental Title Match: Bron Breakker vs. Sheamus
– World Heavyweight Championship Match: Gunther vs. Jey Uso

* RHEA IS HERE! The Women’s World Champion comes to the ring with her title. Big “MAMI” chant from the crowd. Rhea says Mami is back on top! She knows she might seem a bit like a broken record, but she just wanted to remind the people who might have forgotten that she is Rhea Bloody Ripley and is one of the most dominant women in WWE and once again your Women’s World Champion.

NIA JAX IS HERE? Okay then. Nia says she can’t take this anymmore. She was in the back talking to Adam Pearce about the transfer window and she couldn’t help herself, she had to come out here to talk to MAAAAMI. She wanted to let Rhea and everyone else know that she will be winning the Royal Rumble. And she’s going to take whatever title she wants. And Tiffy might think she’s at the Tippy Top; Mami might think she’s on top; and Bayley — Nia doesn’t know what she’s doing here? Bayley says she’s from here and Nia says she would be from this nasty town. Nia says there’s only one person on top of this division and it’s her. It’s not Rhea, not Tiffy and isn’t Bayley.

Bayley steps into the ringside area and tells Nia to come up with something new. It’s not her show, but it is her city so say it to her face, you big old dumb idiot! Nia shoves Bayley and then shoves Rhea, headbutting her. Bayley nails Nia with a knee and then Rhea kicks her out of the ring. Nia leaves angrily as Rhea and Bayley commiserate in the ring.

Set For Next Week:
– New Day vs. TBA
– JBL appears
– Seth Rollins vs. Drew McIntyre

* We get a hype video for the Street Fight.

Street Fight
Finn Balor vs. Damian Priest

Balor attacks Priest behind during his own entrance with a kendo stick! He tees off on Priest with the stick and goes to work on Priest’s leg. But Damian catches a shot, pulls the stick free and waffles Balor about the back and legs with it. Balor into the ropes and comes off to be pushed up in the arm and slammed down.

Balor escapes to the outside, Priest follows and Finn nails him, then slams him into the commentary table. Balor leaps off the apron but is CAUGHT by Damian and dropped onto the table! Priest gets a table out and sets it up, then gets on the table but Balor trips him. Balor off the table with a shot to the head of Priest, then sends him over the guardrail into the fans.

Balor follows but gets kicked by Damien, who sends him deeper into the seats. He follows but Balor bonks him with a trash can, then nails him in the back with it a couple times as he stumbles away. Damian first back with a punch, a knee and a shot to the gut — trash can to the head of Finn! Damian picks him up and drops him into the barricade gut-first.

Back into the ringside area, Balor with a kick to the gut and sends Damian into the audience again. Chair edge to the face and a chop by Balor. Irish whip reversed by Priest to sent Balor into equipment. They battle higher into the stands and Balor nails Priest over a table. Priest over the barricade, Balor decks him a couple times but Damian fires back. He grabs Balor — BROKEN ARROW DOWN THROUGH A TABLE! Officials are checking on them as we go to break.

We’re back and Balor is on a stretcher being rolled away as Priest is in the ring. Carlito and JD are with him — and Priest isn’t done yet! He takes out Carlito and JD, then stares at Balor on the stretcher — he starts to beat on him! Priest rolls Balor back to the ring — and Balor crashes into the apron and rolls in! Priest takes aim — BIG clothesline off the ropes! He signals for South of Heaven — but Carlito with a backstabber. JD and Carlito double team Priest, JD up top — MOONSAULT.

JD and Carlito helps Balor get to the top, the neck brace is off — COUP DE GRACE. Cover, but Priest kicks out at two-plus! JD and Carlito pull out a table on the outside —

THE WAR RAIDERS ARE HERE! Erick and Ivar are in, JD gets kicked down and launched into a powerslam! They brawl with JD and Carlito to the back as both Priest and Balor are slow to get up — SLING BLADE by Balor! Balor grabs a chair and waffles Priest in the back again and again. Balor grabs another chair and sets it up near the corner, he grabs Priest and puts him sitting on the chair. Chair edge to the gut, Balor wraps that chair around Priest’s head and backs up — he charges but Priest hits South of Heaven! Cover gets one, two, thre-NO!

Priest is up and out of the ring for Chekhov’s tables. He picks Balor up for the Razor’s Edge but Balor slides down and hits a Sling Blade. Priest put on the table, Balor beats on him and gets on the apron — COUP DE GRACE through the table!

Balor grabs Priest — but Damian picks him up and slams him through the timekeeper’s barricade! Priest slowly gets up, he grabs Finn and Looks at Chekhov’s other table — RAZOR’S EDGE through the table! Priest grabs Balor and rolls him in, he follows and the straps are down! Goozle! SOUTH OF HEAVEN! Cover, that’s it!

Winner: Damian Priest (17:14)
Rating: *** 3/4
Thoughts: Overbooked but in sensical ways, and the right kind of hardcore street fight for a Raw main event in 2024. They did some crazy ass shit to properly blow off this feud and give Priest the big win so he can assumedly move past the JD.

And with that, we’re done for the night!