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Y’all smell that…? It’s MANIA SEASON!!!!
It’s Monday…you know what that means
We get a few “Just arrived” and “Arrived Earliers” before a length review of The Rumble, which gives me ample time to grab a little drinky drink.
With a commercial-free first hour, I’m glad I was able to grab said drink, and come back just in time to hear Pat McAfee’s music hit. He’s here to join the booth, alongside Cole, it appears.
Cole announces Pat as the new guy alongside Cole every RAW for the foreseeable future.
CM Punk’s music hits, and I hope the rumors are not true.
Unfortunately, he comes out in a sling, noticeably upset until a child asks for his autograph, which seems to genuinely make him feel great. Punk makes his way to the ring.
He takes a deep breath then stares at the Mania sign for a bit.
He came real close Saturday night, and felt like he had it in the palm of his hand. He is not mad at anyone, really. Not at Cody, in fact he wants to congratulate him. It’s not about what you deserve, it’s what you earn, and Cody earned this. Punk hopes he goes to Mania and finishes his story. While he came close, close don’t count. He feels a little unlucky. During the Rumble, he tore his tricep. He tried and asked and make it to the Chamber to get his mania main event, but it’s just not in the cards. He doesn’t want empathy. He thinks of how much it bums him out. How he has talked to the highest mountains to main event Mania, maybe it’ll just never happen. He doesn’t want anyone to feel sorry for him, because is this a problem? He has a friend named Chad Gilbert who he thinks about a lot – he’s got cancer, real bad, and has a beautiful wife and daughter. Punk goes to visit and sits with him during chemo and he’s always in a good mood and is never down about it. That’s a fight.
Crowd pops or Chad and his daughter Lily. Good stuff.
This is just a flesh wound says Punk. He loses more than he wins. Remember UFC? Not great. He had a dream, and was asked if he wanted to, and he said yes because it scared the crap out of him. It scared him to leave, but he had to. Mania scares him. It may haunt him for the rest of his life. This is just a bump in the road. Best in the World is those people who fight things like cancer, Firefighters, people who help other people. He just happened to entertain us and we love him for some reason. He will keep doing this until the wheels fall off. It’s a bump in the road, adversity, and he’s overcome countless times. He will not focus on the negative, on those who tell him he cant. None of it matters because we all wake up and keep going. Mania is not in the cards, but he’s a Cubs fan and this wont be the first or last time he says this – there’s always next year.
Punk is about to rattle off another line but Drew McIntyre interrupts.
Punk flips the mic in ready to attack position.
Drew has said some terrible things about Punk since his return to the WWE. He meant them. Punk is a poison, but he can relate to everything Punk is saying. His dreams have been taken from him. He can relate to having a buddy like Chad, too. He doesn’t know what he believes in, he has had some changes recently, he’s never been spiritual, but know this: he prayed for this and it happened. He targeted Punk, violently assaulted him. Seth has taken the title down till he broke. Who will take it to the next level? Not Punk. Drew couldn’t sleep, then he heard the news and he slept like a baby. Punk won th battle, but didn’t win the war. Mission accomplished – he exorcised the demon CM Punk.
Drew will go to Mania and live Punk’s dream again. Punk walks towards Drew, says his heart hurts more than his tricep does. He will rehab, and when he comes back, he will main event Mania, but Drew is first. He’s coming right for Drew.
Drew tries to attack, Punk ducks under, kick, another kick, a third is thwarted. Drew drops Punk, pins his arm down and stomps it.
HERE COMES SAMI ZAYN! He runs down to attack Drew and chase him out of the ring.
The Judgment Day is watching backstage. Rhea Ripley says it doesn’t matter as Dominik Mysterio tells her Bayley would be stupid to come in her face. Rhea says there will be a message sent tonight. Damien Priest says nothing will be before them. Finn Balor says people are getting comfortable to challenge them, so tonight they show the world just how vicious they are.
D.I.Y. cut a walk and talk promo.
Damien Priest and Finn Balor vs D.I.Y.
I miss about a minute or so and come to Balor hitting a scissor kick to Ciampa. Cover for 1..2.NO!! Side headlock to Ciampa. Tag for Gargano, but ref never sees it. Tommaso runs to Priest, gets a kick in, tag from Finn. Right hand from Priest. He talks some shit in the corner so Tommaso fights out. Elbow to Finn. Ciampa tries for a tag, rolls Priest up for 1..2.NO!! Right hand from Priest. Tag to Finn. Ciampa blocks a right, another, Finn grabs his head, tries to finish him but Ciampa reverses and gets a reverse DDT. Tag to Gargaon! He comes in, corners Priest, right to Finn, heads to the corner, hits a bulldog/clothesline combo to both men! Gargano rushes the corner, Finn sends him to the apron, Gargano kicks Preist then slingshots into a spear to Finn. Cover for 1..2…NO!! Gargano hits the ropes, tilt a whirl, Finn catches him by the head, elbow to the chest. Cover for 1..2.NO!! Tag to Priest. Gargano rolls him up for 1..2.NO!!! Ciampa on th apron, gets a tag, Preist misses a move in the corner, a double team neckbreaker and a cover from Ciampa for 1.2…NO!!! Double underhook from Ciampa, but Preist hits a back body drop. Kick to Gargaon sends him flying off te apron. Back elbow to Ciampa in th corner. Tag to Finn. He flies over with a stomp. Priest runs and hits a leg drop to Ciampa! Cover! 1.2…NO!!!
Finn is on the apron, tells Priest he knows what time it is. Priest looks for a South of Heaven, but Finn tags! Ciampa crotches him, ssends Preiest flying. Ciampa with a White Noise move off the apron! Cover! 1..2…NO!!!! Tag to Gargano! MEET IN THE MIDDLE! The crowd is chanting for em! Gargano covers! 1..2….NO!!! Priest pulls Finn’s foot and his boot is on the rope! Ciampa flies over, and Priest hits him with a righ.t Gargano hitys. Suicide dive into Preist! He runs in, rollup for 1..2.NO!! Slingblade from Finn. Dropkick to Gagano! Finn to the top rope! COUP DE—NO!!!! Gargano rolls out the way! He spins into a submission! Ciampa with the Sicilian Stretch! Priest stands with Ciampa on his back then slams him ONTO Gargano! Priest tries for Razor’s Edge, tag to Ciampa as Gargano escapes. Ciampa with rights and lefts to Priest. Finn and Gargaon trade chops and right hands. Finn hits a pele kick, Ciampa hits HIM with a running knee. Big kick from Priest to Ciampa! Priest heads outside, grabs Ciampa, and wants to end Ciampa! Gargano flies to stop the move but Priest catches him and hits. Flatliner onto the table! Priest rolls into the ring. Ciampa rolls him up. 1.2…NO!!!
Priest hits Ciampa with a right hand to the jaw. Tag to Finn. Priest with the Razor’s Edge. Coup De Grace by Finn. Cover! 1..2……3!!!
Winners: The Judgment Day
Damn that was great. They were wrestling like a title change was going to happen, and I’m not so sure that people would have hated it. The crowd was FIRMLY behind D.I.Y. and I’m incredibly happy about that because the chants of them not getting any love is just unwarranted. Solid match, and I LOVE that there wasn’t a commercial break to ruin it.
Total Rating: ***3/4
Match Time: 12:53
Dominik Mysterio and JD McDonagh run down to celebrate.
Priest says they have an apology to usher, and invite R-Truth to the ring.
R-Truth comes out to some major love from the crowd. Truth seems a bit concerned. Priest allows him to say something. Truth comes in and says Priest is not nice enough, then asks the crowd to “all rise” for The Judgment Day.
Priest brings up the Rumble. Truth says they can talk about it later. He hasn’t been able to sleep, so he relocated Priests cash for crypto, filed his taxes, and liquidated all his assets. He is good to go.
Priest says truth has no idea what any of that means. He says The Judgment Day is a family. Truth says they been family the whole time. Priest is his older brother. (Priest, off mic, says “You’re older than me.”) He calls Finn that weird uncle – unpredictable but we still love him. What more is there to say about Tom & Nic? They boo him loud and Truth says, “My bad.” And JD? JD is like that step-brother we got that we don’t want to admit that he in the family.
Priest says they are a family, but Truth is not a part of it. Never was. He likes him, though. Truth is very funny, which is why he isn’t going to be the one to do this.
JD with a cheap shot from behind with a huge elbow then a bunch of elbows.
Here comes The Miz to try and make the save only to get beat down by Priest, Finn, and Dom. Priest and Finn drag Miz to the center, Dom hits a frog splash off the top. JD drags Truth over to Miz and they stand tall.
Shayna Baszler and Zoey Stark vs Chelsea Green and Piper Niven
Green with a cheap shot to Zoey as she readies herself! Zoey is able to regain control and tag in Shayna. Shayna works the left arm, does the elbow stomp, then tries for the clutch. Piper sends her to the corner and backs up into her hard. Tag to Green, who isn’t exactly ready. Tag to Zoey. Green slides into the ring, ducks under Zoey, drop toe hold to the ropes, Shayna with a clutch! Green sends her out of the ring!
Zoey flies and Green side steps! A Zig Zag like move! Cover! 1…2….NO!!! Green tries for a tag, Shayna pulls Niven down. Z360! Cover! 1….2…3!
Winners: Zoey Stark and Shayna Baszler
All these teams keep trading wins and loses but not particularly gaining anything out of either.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 2:00
We are BACK and Cody Rhodes wants to talk He had something in mind to say, but on the way out here, he heard something for the first time – Samantha…can she say it one more time?
She does it again.
Cody says that although they are an escape, sometimes they need to escape too. The last 48 hours of his life outside of here has been rather challenging. Everthing is good, all is well, but on Saturday, we will never know how much we needed him.
He is endlessly grateful for that, but let’s get to it. Let’s make Wrestlemania 40 offici—-
BURN IT DOWN!!
Seth Rollins is here! He tells Cody that Tampa is right, he does deserve it. From man to man, congratulations. He will be real with Cody, if he chooses Roman, he’s making a mistake. He should fight Seth instead. All he’s asking is for Cody to hear him out. He watched Cody at the press conference. Cody said he was “the guy.” Seth isn’t trying to be a jerk, but he’s not the guy. Roman isn’t even the guy anymore. Seth is the guy. He is the guy, and this title is the title. Last year, Cody wins the Rumble and it makes sense to go after Reigns, but there was only one champion then. The landscape has changed, and he gets it – every day, all cody has thought about is Roman. But he’s been with Seth on this ride. Since he’s won, Cody has been on the road, making town after town, city after city, and all of those shows, who is there in the main event? It sure as hell wasn’t Reigns. What title was Seth defending in those main events? It wasn’t the WWE Championship, it was the World Heavyweight Title. Does Cody remember why this title came to be? It was because every one of these people was sick and tired of Roman, tired of him showing up every other week, them month, then six months, no defenses, cheating to win. This title is their title, is for us, by us, and they have built this title up through broken bones, back, blown out knee, all of us, Cody included have leveled the playing field with the title. Reigns is not a God. He is not on some untouchable pedestal. They don’t need Reigns at all. So he’s gott ask – what title do you want? The Hollywood title? The Hogan title? The one for posers and frauds? The politics? Or…the Dusty Rhodes title? The workhorse championship, the blue collar championship? That’s what this title means. Who is the best between these ropes? Which title would Dusty rather have? The truth is it doesn’t matter, it’s not abut him, it’s about Cody. He wants Cody to think about it. He wants to know what’s in his heart.
Cody tells Seth he has an insane amount of respect for him, and this is the last thing he woke up thinking that they would be talking about. But, he wants to tell Seth this: “I’ll think about it.”
The New Day cut a promo about winning championships. He’s about to do this tonight when he beats Gunther.
Bronson Reed vs Jey Uso
Reed corners Jey, Jey escapes then hits some right hands. He hits th ropes, and Reed with a pounce, drops his ass. Reed corners Jey, hits a few clotheslines, then a short arm one. Reed drops a forearm to the back. Right hand to the dome. Reed with another right to the head. Whip to the ropes, Reed gets sent outside by Jey. Jey with a dive to the outside! Reed sends him int othe post back first. Reed rushes, Jey ducks and Reed eats post.
WE ARE BACK and Jey hits a kick to the gut. Jey ducks for a right hand then kicks, misses, tries for a spinning enziguri but Reed swats him down then hits a senton. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Another short arm clothesline attempt, but Jey ducks, kicks, another kick, Reed still stands. Huge third kick drops him and JEy covers for 1..2..NO!!! Jey to the top rope! Reed climbs to stop him. He grabs for a suplex, Jey holds on. Jey with some uppercuts, a right hand, Reed falls to his back. Jey to the top! He flies! Reed moves, Jey rolls through, DVD to Jey! Cover! 1..2…NO!!! Reed with a quick splash, then he gets to the top rope and flies off, but Jey rolls out the way and Reed crashes! He’s up, holding his belly.
SUPERKICK FROM JEY! SPEAR!!! Jey to the top rope! USO SPLASH! Cover for 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Jey Uso
Solid match with a somewhat surprising win. Jey gunning for that Elimination Chamber spot.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 9:21
WE are backstage in Adam Pearce’s office. Andrade is signing his RAW contract. In comes Nick Aldis. He congratulates Andrade, says it’s a shame. Aldis and Pearce bicker a bit. Andrade thanks Pearce, then tells Nick to say hello to Zelina Vega for him. Nick lends Pearce Bayley tonight, and he goes and signs a guy under his nose. Just business, right? They do need to discuss the Elimination Chamber.
A phone call interrupts them, and Nick says he must take it, it’s Bron Breaker.
Jackie Redmond is backstage with Becky Lynch. what is her next move?
Becky says she let a lot of people down, including herself, but the only way she stays down is if she gives up, so plan b is train a little harder, think a little smarter, fight a little dirtier, but above all she doesn’t stop till she’s back at the top and takes the title back into the main event like it deserves.
WWE Intercontinental Championship Match
Kofi Kingston vs Gunther
Kofi tries to attack the second the bell rings, but Gunther gets his lick back quick, hits a big knee to the back then locks Kofi in a sharpshooter as we go to PIP.
We are BACK and Gunther is all smiles as he stands over the fallen Kofi. Gunther waits for Kofi to rise in the corner then grabs him to whip hard into the opposite corner, back first. Gunther tries for another Boston Crab, but Kofi kicks out of it. He is up in the corner and Gunther grabs him then hits a body slam. Gunther with an uppercut. Kofi with a riht. Another. Headbutt to Gunther. Whip to the corner by Gunther. Kofi kicks out of the corner. He hits the apron and swings with a kick. Kofi to the top rope, he flies, unther catches him and hits a huge backbreaker.
We come back again and Gunther’s chest is bleeding. Gunther locks a sleeper in on Kofi, then turns him into a powerbomb attempt. Kofi fights with rights and head scissors Gunther to the outside. Kofi hits the orpes and dives, but Gunther catches him AGAIN! He drops Kofi onto the apron neck first! Gunther grabs Kofi and lifts up for another powerbomb but Kofi head scissors him into the post! Kofi is up at 5, he enters the ring. Kofi hits the ropes, dives! HE HITS IT THIS TIME! Kofi re-enters! Another dive! A THIRD but GUNTHER FOLLOWS@ He misses a chop, Kofi with Trouble in Paradise!!!!! Kofi isn’t so quick to cover! He reaches for a pin but Gunther rolls out of the ring! Kofi leaves the ring and gives Gunther a kick. He sends Gunther into the steps. Ref is at 4. Kofi hops over the barricade, then steps atop it. He flies and drops a forearm across the neck on the steps! He rolls Gunther into the ring at 9! Kofi to the top rope! HUGE DOUBLE LEG DROP! COVER! 1…2…..NO!!! Kofi tries for Trouble in Paradise. Gunther catches it! Kofi with a cradle! 1..2..NO!!! Clothesline from Gunther! He holds his hand high and lifts Kofi by the hair. He hits the ropes, tries for a clothesline but KOFI WITH AN SOS!!! COVER!!!! 1..2…NO!!!
THIS IS AWESOME chant. Gunther with a huge clothesine! He runs with a shotgun drpkick and Kofi eats buckle. POWERBOMB! Cover! 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Gunther
Good God, not even two commercial breaks could damage this match, and it damn well should have. Gunther has mastered the art of giving us a match where we know he’s not losing, but still entertaining as all hell.
Total Rating: ***3/4
Match Time: Stopwatch Issues (roughly 12 minutes)
After the match, Xavier Woods comes to check on Kofi, but Ludwig Kaiser and Giovanni Vinci run down with a surpise attack. Woods tries to fight back but Kaiser pulls him outside and they double team him. They send Woods ito the ringpost face first.
Backstage, Jackie is with Sami Zayn who says it’s been hard sitting on the sidelines. He brings up Drew taking away his chance at The Rumble. If it was just Sami, he could handle that, but Drew is pointing the finger at everyone else. He needs a reality check, and Sami will give it to him.
The Kabuki Warriors vs Tegan Nox and Natalya
We get a commercial about a minute and a half in, and when we come back, Tegan is caught in an Ankle Lock from Asuka. Tegan tries to roll through, but Asuka keeps rolling with her, holding onto the hold. German attempt but Tegan rolls her up for 1.2..NO!! Headbutt from Nox, but Asuka nosells it. Tag to Natalya. Suplex to Asuka. Another. She drags Asuka to the crner and hits a bunch of right hands. Battie backs up, ducks under, GERMAN! Nattie wit a spinning discus. She drags Nattie to the center and calls for the harpshooter, but Asuka screams for her partner, trying to prevent the hold .In comes Kairi to punch Nattie, Nattie sends hero utside. Tegan, instead of tagging, goes to kick Kairi. Sane catches her boot and slams Nox down on the apron. Nattie kicks Sane, then rolls Asuka up! 1..2…NO!!!!
Nattie tries for a sharpshooter agin, but Asuka kicks her away. Another high kick to the head. Sane gets the tag. She flies with an elbow!! Cover! 1..2…3!!!
Winners: The Kabuki Warriors
Total Rating:
Match Time:
Backstage, Jackie Redmond asks Kayden and Katana how they feel. They’re getting a rematch next week.
Up next, Bayley!
She’s in the ring with her squad, who are all dancing to their theme music as Bayley points.
She wants to give everyone a rare opportunity to take a picture of them. When is the last time that you saw the tag team champs, the wwe champ, AND the Royal Rumble winner in the same ring? The answer is never, because it’s never been done. This is history, all thanks to her. She has been telling us for a year and a half that they were going to take over. Everyone thought they’d be a flop. Bayley isn’t as good as she used to be, theyd say. She’s losing all her matches. She doesn’t listen, though. She sees the bigger picture. She wasn’t on the poster, but she won the damned match.
IN a time when they have the most stacked roster, she came out on top. She beat Rhea’s precious record. She was in the match for 63:03. She makes sure to tell Cole to remember this. At Mania….
Nope! She is cut off by Rhea Ripley who comes out with her title.
She calls all this cute. She points out the rest of her group has gold but if she challenges Rhea, it’ll stay that way.
Here comes Nia Jax to attack Rhea from behind. Rhea fights back, slamming Nia into the apron then rolling her into the ring. Rhea kicks Nia in the face, hits the ropes, and they collide center ring. Nia gets the better of it, hits the ropes then a leg drop. She hits the ropes and gets another leg drop in. Damage CTRL watches on as Nia hits a third. Nia with The ANIA-lator.
Nia turns towards Damage CTRL. They all leave the ring but Bayley. Nia walks towards her into the corner. Bayley slinks down as Nia grabs the mic. She tells Bayley to pick Iyo or anyone else, because Rhea isn’t making it to Wrestlemania.
Bayley says she was going to make her announcement on Friday.
Drew McIntyre vs Seth Rollins
Sami tries to start fast by sending Drew outside and diving only to be caught with ease. Drew spins Sami onto the announce table. Drew enters the ring with a grin. He counts along with the ref as he hits 5. As he hits 7 ,Drew rolls out of the ring to grab Sami and continue the punishment. He grabs Sami and rolls him into the ring then talk some shit to Pat. Sami takes the distraction and flies onto Drew outside!
We come back to Sami hitting a Sunset Flip to Drew! Cover! 1..2.NO!!! Both men up. Sami with a right, another, whip is thwarted. Dopuble underhook, Sami ducks under, chop to the chest, walk the ropes and a tornado DDT! Cover! 1.2…N!O!! Drew with a big move, jackkfe cover for 1..2.NO!! He lifts Sami by the waist into a powerbomb and a pin for 1..2.>NO!!! Drew is up, goes for a shoulder, but Sami moves and Drew eats ringpost! Kick from Sami. He lifts the arm for a suplex. He hooks and tries, deadlift, but cant do it! He tries again, and Drew drops to his feet. GASGLOW KISS! Drew over the top rope. He climbs and wait for Sami. Sami turns. Drew gets crotched! Sami to the top! He ghoosk the head. SUPERPLEX TO DREW!! Drew is up in the corner, Sami calls for a Helluva, but Drew with a huge clothesline! Drew wants a Claymore, but Sami turns THIS into a Blue Thunder Bomb! Sami grabs Drew, locks the hea,d Drew corners him then hits a huge belly to belly! Drew kips up! Drew grabs Sami up onto his shoulders, he climbs the ropes and holds the head. WHITE NOISE OFF THE 2ND ROPE!!! COVER! 1…2…NO!!! Drew talks some shit, telling Sami that he’s out of Sami’s league. Sami fights back, rights and lefts over and over. Sami is on his feet, Drew is up, another Glasgow Kiss!
Drew hits the corner, Sami follows, tries for a HELLUVA KICK! BUT DREW DROPS TO HIS KNEES! He covers his face and Sami’s nuts run into his fists! Sami backs up in pain! Drew with a Claymore! Cover! 1.2….3!!!!
Winner: Drew McIntyre
A pretty clever ending there that, although shitty for Sami, allowed us to see Drew continue to be the biggest dick ever.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 12:52
End Show
