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Well everyone, we’ve reached another Friday so it’s time for another episode of WWE Smackdown. So, anything crazy in the world of professional wrestling happen lately? I kid, I kid, but with the news that Vince McMahon has retired from his position as Chairman and CEO of WWE breaking the landscape of professional wrestling might shift in a real way. More immediate concerns revolve around Brock Lesnar, who reportedly left the arena when he heard about Vince stepping down. Brock has been positioned to challenge Roman Reigns for the Undisputed WWE Universal title in just a few weeks at SummerSlam, if Brock is leaving then WWE has very little time to spin up a new challenger for Roman and that process has to start immediately if not sooner. The Street Profits and Usos are likely to continue their build and we might even get an appearance from the special guest referee for their match. Liv Morgan and Ronda Rousey are set to battle for the Smackdown Women’s title at SummerSlam and we’ll probably get some continuation of that, Shinsuke Nakamura will battle Ludwig Kaiser again as he continues trying to get a shot at Intercontinental champion Gunther so let’s all take a moment of silence for Kaiser’s chest once Gunther chops the heck out of him for losing. Max Dupri’s Maximum Male Models will debut their beachwear collection, as well as feature the debut of Max Dupri’s “sister”, Maxxine Dupri. Assuming Drew McIntyre isn’t the one who gets called up to deal with the absence of Brock Lesnar, he and Sheamus are due another misdirection match to try and set up their SummerSlam bout as well. Well that’s the preamble, and the uncertainty hovering over this particular episode, so let’s get into the action.

We open with Stephanie McMahon in the ring. Steph welcomes us to the show before mentioning that Vince has retired from WWE. She talks about him creating this company and that he wanted to thank the WWE Universe. That gets a “Thank you Vince” chant that Steph calls jumping the gun, she’ll get us there. She runs down how everyone in the company, from the talent, to the riggers, to even Michael Cole and Pat McAfee, we’re all part of the Universe, and now it’s our turn to thank Vince. This does restart the “Thank you Vince” chant for a bit.

Out come the Street Profits, making their way through the crowd to the ring. Both men get mics and they play with the crowd before moving on to selling you on SummerSlam next week. Dawkins says they’ll win the tag team titles at SummerSlam, but for some reason here comes Theory to interrupt this. Theory says no one cares about the Profits or what they’re doing at SummerSlam, the only thing people care about is what Theory will do at SummerSlam. He’s going to take back his US title, then cash in and become the uWu champion. It doesn’t matter if it’s Brock Lesnar or Roman Reigns, that brings out the Usos. Jey’s got a mic and says some people don’t know how to keep Roman’s name out of their mouth. Everyone winds up in the ring, the Profits laugh, Theory mocks them and says both Ford and his wife are leaving without titles at SummerSlam. For some reason this prompts a brawl between the Profits and Usos, Theory jumps on the Profits but here comes Madcap Moss to even the odds, he lays out Theory with a Pounce before the numbers catch up to him. We get more brawling and the faces stand tall in the ring, the Moss helps Dawkins hit a dive onto the pile of bodies on the floor and then the good guys celebrate in the ring.

We get a recap of Shinsuke Nakamura pinning Ludwig Kaiser a few weeks ago, and the physical discipline Gunther put on Kaiser for losing. That leads to Nakamura coming to the ring for our first match, which will be up after this break.

Post break here comes Ludwig Kaiser alongside the Ring General Gunther.

Match #1: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Ludwig Kaiser w/ Gunther

Kaiser goes right after Nakamura with strikes in the corner. Punches and stomps from Kaiser then a running uppercut connects. Gunther approves and orders more damage. Elbows from Kaiser but Nakamura cuts him off with a kick to the chest. More kicks from Nakamura then a knee drop. Good Vibrations from Nakamura, but Kaiser fights free and hits a punch then a butterfly suplex. Punt kick from Kaiser gets a 2 count. Kaiser hits a snap suplex but he still can’t keep Nakamura down. Nakamura fights back with kicks then a knee to the body sends Kaiser out of the ring. Nakamura to the apron, he tries a kick but Kaiser catches it and face plants Nakamura on the apron then sends him into the ring steps as we head to another break.

Kaiser is still in control as we come back, Nakamura starts fighting out of a chin lock, then blocks a suplex and hits an enziguri to drop Kaiser. Nakamura fires up with striking combinations then the sliding German suplex for a 2 count. Kaiser runs into a boot then eats a second rope knee strike and rolls out of the ring. Gunther berates Kaiser as Nakamura follows him out of the ring. Nakamura sends Kaiser back into the ring, then Gunther gets in his way and Nakamura responds with the “come on” and Gunther allows him back in the ring. Kaiser with a small package but only gets 2, then Nakamura lands a knee strike. Nakamura sets for the Kinshasa, Gunther distracts Nakamura though, then gets in a cheap shot behind the refs back allowing Kaiser to hit his leg lace DDT and pick up the win.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Ludwig Kaiser won

Rating: 3 stars

Pity about the commercial break, but you put two guys who can work together and let them wrestle they’ll give you something good.

Post match Gunther isn’t happy that he had to help Kaiser out and chops the crap out of him on the entrance stage after a fake out.

In the back Liv Morgan and Ronda Rousey get mic’d up for their interview segment, which will be up after this break.

Back from break and Kayla is in the back to interview both Morgan and Ronda, after a video recap of Morgan winning the title. Ronda dismisses Kayla and says she respects Morgan, she doesn’t blame her for cashing in when she did and puts over Morgan as a breath of fresh air. But she’s still Ronda Rousey, and Liv is still Liv Morgan, so at SummerSlam Ronda will beat her and reclaim the title, then hopes Morgan will shake her hand. Morgan loves this more than Ronda, and needs this more than Ronda, and she’ll be sure to shake Ronda’s hand after she beats her again. Ronda says Morgan has more passion than anyone, anyone except Ronda.

We head back to commentary, and here’s Happy Corbin to jump Pat McAfee. Corbin tosses McAfee around for a bit then walks off. McAfee is pissed and charges after Corbin into the back. In the back McAfee avoids a chair shot and starts brawling with Corbin, eventually officials are able to pull them apart as we get another commercial break.

As we come back we get a recap of Corbin and McAfee brawling, in case you missed it. McAfee heads back to the ring to a pretty good ovation, then gets a mic and says before he goes back to commentary he’s got one thing to say to bum ass Corbin. At SummerSlam you can’t jump him from behind, you wont be using diaper rash as an excuse, in 8 days they’re going man vs. big dumb bald baby, and when his foot hits that big head he’ll put him down for good. . . bitch. So you know he’s serious.

A video recap of the Viking Raiders and their issue with the New Day as well as Shanky and Jinder Mahal, and how those valiant babyfaces used a 4 on 2 surprise attack last week. New Day has joined commentary and don’t sweat the Raiders, they’re playing mind games.

Shanky and Jinder Mahal head to the ring, Shanky still doing the dancing behind Jinder’s back thing.

Match #2 – Tag Team Match: Viking Raiders (Erik and Ivar) vs. Jinder Mahal and Shanky

Erik and Jinder start us off, Erik with some strikes then floors Jinder with an elbow. Ivar tags in and Jinder gets clubbed down by both of them. Back elbows from Ivar in the corner, then Jinder slips free and lands a super kick but runs into a corner senton. Jinder rolls out of the ring and Ivar follows and jaws with the New Day. Some strikes from Jinder but Ivar cuts him off with an elbow and tosses him into the ring steps, then tosses him onto the New Day. Ivar back in the ring and Jinder is counted out.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Viking Raiders won via count out

Rating: Hubbard. . . SQUASH

Odd booking choice there, we couldn’t have either Jinder or Shanky take a pin?

In the back Sonya Deville shows up to belittle Adam Pearce, we already saw Steph tonight Sonya so you really don’t need to be here. Pearce appreciates Sonya’s concern, but she should worry about herself tonight. Sonya will have a match with Raquel Rodriguez tonight, then Pearce excuses himself.

To the ring and here come Sheamus and goons. The Brawling Brutes make it to the ring as we head to break.

Post break Sheamus has a mic, there’s a table in the ring covered with a green cloth. Sheamus plays with the crowd, and does the usual cheap heat bits. Tonight he was supposed to Brogue Kick Drew McIntyre’s head off tonight, then win the title at Clash at the Castle, but Drew has tried to murder him with a sword so Sheamus wont have a match with Drew until Drew’s sword is banned from ringside. You know, not unreasonable. We get a video recap of Drew chopping the ring ropes, and Sheamus is incensed that Drew tried to decapitate him. That sword has no place in the ring. This brings out Drew and his sword. Drew menaces the three stooges, and Sheamus gets Ridge Holland to remove Butch if Drew will put his sword away. Ridge and Butch head out, and Drew does put the sword away. Drew gets a mic, and wants to know what Sheamus became such a bitch. He wants to know where the old Sheamus is, they’ve got a chance to main even the first UK stadium show in decades, and Sheamus just punks out week after week. Drew brings up that Roman is holding the titles hostage, and Brock’s no better, we need a real champion, a warrior champion and Sheamus has that in him somewhere, Drew wants their match to happen right now. Sheamus starts to hem and haw, Drew questions his balls, and Sheamus brings up how often these two have been down the roads together, but if Drew ants that fight right now then he’s gonna get it. Just not tonight. Kind of poor word play there buddy, you expressly qualified the conditions as being “tonight”. Sheamus talked to management and they’ve made their number one contenders match for next week, and Drew can’t bring his sword to an anything goes match. Finally Sheamus unveils the contents of his table, a series of shillelagh, and next week they’ll have a shillelagh match. Drew accepts, then Adam Pearce comes out to make it official. Drew gets his sword and chops the shillelagh of Sheamus in half then poses. I mean if we’re banning dangerous things from ringside I’m pretty sure Drew’s sword has injured less people than Ridge Holland has.

The Usos are in the back getting hyped up for their main event trios match, and bring up that they’ll attack Theory if he doesn’t shut up. Paul Heyman is here to calm things down, he says the Profits are a handful for anyone, the Profits might be the best around if not for the Usos. He convinces the Usos to exploit Theory in the match rather than put themselves at a disadvantage. Once they win, then they can go off the air tonight with Theory face down on the mat.

To the ring, and here comes Raquel Rodriguez. She’ll take on Sonya Deville after this break.

Post break and here comes Sonya Deville.

Match #3: Raquel Rodriguez vs. Sonya Deville

Raquel forces Sonya into a corner, Sonya grabs the hair to try and gain an advantage. Pie face from Sonya, Raquel is amused by Sonya’s pathetic attacks. Some back elbows from Sonya then she snaps Raquel into the corner and bounces her head off the buckles for a bit. Running knee from Sonya gets a 2 count, then she grabs a rest hold. Raquel fights to her feet and “hits” a headbutt to take over. Fall away slam from Raquel then her corkscrew Vader Bomb and Sonya uses the ropes to break the pin. Sonya kicks Raquel off and tries a jumping DDT but Raquel stalls her momentum then tosses her aside. DDT from Sonya after she avoided a corner attack, but that only gets 2 again. Kicks from Sonya before Raquel avoids one, then hoists Sonya up for a Tejana Bomb and pins to win.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Raquel Rodriguez won

Rating: 2 stars

I’m docking half a star for that horrible headbutt, that was poorly blocked from a production stand point.

After this break we’ll try to get Aliyah vs. Lacey Evans again.

We get a recap of the dominance of the Usos and the recent controversy around finishes to their matches, then out comes Aliyah. As Aliyah comes to the ring we recap Lacey’s promo from last week. Lacey Evans then heads to the ring, and gets a mic as the ref has to restrain Aliyah. Lacey soaks in the boos, then says Boston was founded by hard working good people like her, and frankly it’s no wonder that Tom Brady left this dump. She’s accomplished more just today than the crowd will in an entire year. Some generic crowd insults follow, and she reminds us that no one in the crowd could walk a mile in her shoes. Aliyah wants their match to start, Lacey then lays her out with a Woman’s Right and leaves.

Kayla is in the back and brings out Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett calls it an honor to be the ref for the tag team title match, he’s been enjoying the support and he says both the Profits and Usos have offered him everything under the sun, but he turned it all down and that’s why he’s got the job. A bit of a sell job from Jarrett on the match and SummerSlam, he will call it right down the middle, then reminds us how to spell his name.

Back to the ring and here come the Usos, our main event will allegedly start after this break.

Post break Maxxine Dupri is in the back with Mansoor and Mace, she’s the director of talent for Maximum Male Models, and next week we’ll get the beachwear collection.

Commentary then runs down the card for next week.

Back to the ring, where the Usos await the Street Profits and Madcap Moss. Theory then gets our final walkout.

Match #4 – Trios Match: The Usos (Jimmy and Jey) and Theory vs. The Street Profits (Angelo Dawkins and Montez Ford) and Madcap Moss

Dawkins and Jimmy start us off, school boy from Dawkins only gets 2. They hit the ropes and Dawkins lands a drop kick. Jimmy fights back with strikes but Dawkins cuts him off with an enziguri then tags in Ford. Ford lands a drop kick, then Jey comes in for a double drop kick. Moss hits a cheap shot onto Theory as Theory was yelling at the Usos. Ford swipes the MITB briefcase and mocks Theory as we get another commercial break.

We come back to Moss working a side headlock on Jey, Theory makes a blind tag and starts unloading on Moss. The usual Theory control segment follows. Some arm work from Theory then Jimmy tags in and lays in body shots. Jey tags in and he and Jimmy with a Wishbone Splitter to Moss. Right hand from Jey then he misses a corner splash and Dawkins tags in. Dawkins runs wild on Jey then Jey hits a super kick to the gut and Ford tags in. Ford with a ridiculously high cross body for a 2 count. Ford flips out of a back suplex and lands kicks then another kick from the apron. Theory takes a kick from Ford, but the distraction allows Jey to land a right hand. Jimmy tags in and he launches Ford into the time keeper’s area as we get another commercial break.

Moss is running wild not long after we come back to action, he drops Theory with a fall away slam, then sends Jey out of the ring. Uranage from Moss to Jimmy gets a 2 count. Next Moss tries the Punchline but Jimmy shoves him off and hits a super kick for a near fall. Theory refuses a tag and walks away from Jimmy, but Jey super kicks him on the floor then sends him to the apron and Jimmy tags him in. Jimmy the super kicks Theory out of the ring, the Usos head out and start brawling with the Profits, allowing Ford to hit a dive onto the teams. Theory sends Moss back into the ring, where he and Moss start trading strikes, Theory landing a back elbow then hits a leg capture back breaker for a near fall. Now Theory wants his finish, but Moss slips free and runs him over with a shoulder block. They botch the finish as Theory can’t grab the briefcase in time, so they have to do it again and Moss runs into a briefcase shot to end the match in a DQ.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Madcap Moss and the Street Profits won via Disqualification

Rating: 2.5 stars

They got plenty of time but the commercial breaks gutted this one, and the finish felt flat, not to mention how they messed it up.

Post match Theory lays into Moss with the briefcase, then Brock Lesnar’s music hits. Brock is in fact here and saunters to the ring. Theory does a bit of peacocking as Brock circles the ring, Theory tries a cheap shot to Brock who no sells it then F5’s Theory. Now Brock gets the briefcase and lays into Theory with it for a bit, then he F5’s Theory onto the briefcase for good measure. Brock stands tall as the episode ends.