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Alright everyone, it’s Friday night so it’s time for WWE Smackdown. Last week was a fairly poor show meant to be carried by a memorable heel turn by Randy Orton who kicked WWE champion Cody Rhodes in the dick, cut him open, then smashed his head into steel steps with a chair. Unfortunately people don’t want to boo Randy so they just cheered him instead. This feels very familiar to last year. Unless they let Randy punt kick a puppy or someone like Rhea Ripley or Iyo Sky the fans just aren’t going to boo him. So tonight Randy will of course get promo time to explain himself. Drew McIntyre quit for all of 2.5 hours last week, then screwed Jacob Fatu in a match with Trick Williams so tonight we get Fatu and Drew which will doubtless have no real conclusion and lead to their Mania bout. Nikki and Brie Bella are still making everything worse by being in the tag team title picture. Solo Sikoa and his Mismanaged Failure Troupe defend their tag team titles against Damien Priest and R-Truth. The Island Boys have ruined that division for months, though the Wyatts didn’t exactly help it before them, so it’s time to get the belts onto a group that will keep them in rotation. The Wyatts can easily contribute to the loss here so those two groups can still clash but the belts are free for real teams like the Motor City Machine Guns, Fraxiom, or Los Garza to come after. Speaking of, the Guns will take on Fraxiom tonight, the Guns have been a bit out of sorts as Alex Shelley wants to help Depressed Johnny Gargano out of his funk while Chris Sabin would happily let him mope on crates forever. Miz is still cursed by Danhausen so we’ll see what comes of that. Kit Wilson is planning on calling out Jelly Roll, because God hates me. Jade Cargill and B-Fab have been kind of hinting at some collusion, and with Rhea Ripley looming large for Jade’s future they might want to spring that pairing sooner rather than later. Tiffany Stratton seems locked in on Giulia’s US title, poor Giulia needs to be on RAW where she can wrestle strong style. Sami Zayn is still kind of a loser but Aleister Black is working to corrupt him, Trick Williams needs something to do for Mania, Shinsuke Nakamura is still relegated to occasionally reminding Tama Tonga to be a man, the Street Profits are still MIA, Ilja Dragunov and Carmelo Hayes are still circling each other but there were weeks of Tama Tonga looking at the US title and I’m sure that wont just be dropped until post Mania right? Anyway WrestleMania is coming up pretty fast so things are going to be taking their final shape in the coming weeks. Let’s get to the action and hope for a good episode.

We open with a recap of the contract signing from last week and Randy Orton’s heel turn. They’re trying real hard to make it look like the crowd responded they way they wanted them to.

Joe Tessitore and Wade Barrett then welcome us to the show from Raleigh, North Carolina and try to claim everyone thinks what Randy did was unacceptable. The Bella Twins will get a title shot at the Irresistible Forces, that will almost certainly be a train wreck. Plus Priest and Truth get their title shot, not sure which two member of Solo’s Squad will be in the match. Both Kit Wilson and Jelly Roll are here, but there’s an incident behind Jelly in the parking lot. We find a car wreck and Drew McIntyre attacking Jacob Fatu on the hood of a car. Eventually Drew gets dragged away as the bloody Fatu slumps to the concrete. Man they really need to just let Fatu get back to killing people.

Back to the ring and Drew talks to the ring and again whines that he’s not champion. He came here to fight and anyone who’s wronged him can get it. Nick Aldis comes out again to ask what Drew’s problem is and laments how self sabotaging Drew is. Aldis says Drew is on his way to unemployment, so Drew dares him to fire him. Drew says Aldis’ kid should be ashamed of him. Fatu then storms to the ring and attacks Drew, Drew gets the better of things but Fatu rams Drew into the ring post. Next Drew gets slammed into the steps, Fatu loses it and launches Drew over the announce table then he takes the desk apart. Headbutts from Fatu to Drew then a bunch of goons show up to pull them apart. Fatu retreats a bit, then charges back to Drew and leaps off the barricade to Splash Drew through the announce table. Spastic dance from Fatu before he finally decides that’s enough carnage for now. There we go, that’s what Fatu needed presentation wise. That scene sends us to break. A bit of chaos to begin this week, I’m down for that on occasion.

We come back and recap what just happened in case you missed it. After that Damien Priest and R-Truth head to the ring for their title match. Solo and company follow.

Match #1 – Tag Team Title Match: (c) Tama Tonga and JC Mateo w/ Solo Sikoa, Talla Tonga, and Tonga Loa vs. Damien Priest and R-Truth

Priest and JC start, Priest with punches then a Flatliner. Tama tries to interfere but Truth shows up and they hit a combination Lie Detector and Russian leg sweep. Talla yanks Truth down behind the refs back then JC clotheslines Priest out of the ring so Talla can run him over and send us to break, thankfully the Netflix feed seems more stable this week so I’ve still got you.

JC sends Priest back into the ring then tags in Tama. Sliding clothesline from Tama then some mounted punches and stomps. The boos are sweetened for him but he’s getting a better reaction than JC. Tama corners Priest and tags in JC to keep isolating Priest in the corner. Cheap shot from Loa, who still has some of the worst punches in the world. JC stomps down Priest then tags in Tama and they hit a double clothesline. Some more strikes from Tama then JC tags back in and they hit a double suplex. Priest is still cornered as we rejoin the broadcast. Priest starts fighting back with strikes as the crowd want Truth. JC with a clothesline then a standing moonsault for a 2 count. Corner splash from JC then he shoves Truth off the apron. OK, add Truth to the list of people Randy could punt for heat. JC then runs into a tornado kick from Priest and both men are down. Hot tag to Truth as Tama tags in and Truth runs through the Cena Moves of Doom, including hitting the 5 Knuckle Shuffle. Tama avoids the Attitude Adjustment then JC tags in and hits a spinning back suplex and Priest has to save the match. Tama disposes of Priest but Truth hits him with a Stunner. Priest then with a leap off the steps to lay out Tama. Truth with a STF to JC, he pulls JC away from the ropes at first but Solo distracts the ref so Talla can chokeslam Truth on the apron. That leads to a near fall for JC as he covers Truth. The Wyatts show up now and brawl with Loa and Talla on the ramp. Uncle Howdy then shows up to Mandible Claw Solo, JC shows up to save Solo but that allows Truth to recover then hit the side kick back in the ring. Priest lays out Tama with a clothesline, then Truth with an Attitude Adjustment to JC for the titles.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Damien Priest and R-Truth won the titles in 8:42

Rating: 3 stars
Thoughts: The crowd down the stretch elevated this from 2.5 because once Truth got into things the crowd really got into it. The ending was obvious but that’s not always a bad thing, and Tama remains protected as he still hasn’t taken a fall in a while.

Post match Priest and Truth get pyro and celebrate a sense of normalcy returning to the division that carried Smackdown not all that long ago.

In the back the Bella Twins talk with Cathy, they warn everyone not to underestimate them then say they’ll make more history. Alexa Bliss and Charlotte Flair show up to talk, and Charlotte accuses them of being selfish. They wont interrupt the match tonight but do want next. Nikki invites them ringside, then Brie steals Bliss’s spoon she was eating ice cream with. Now that’s just rude.

Depressed Johnny Gargano is on a crate, here’s Danhausen Candice LeRae asks him to uncurse Johnny. Danhausen, the carny, asks for 20 bucks which he takes then he vanishes. The Guns walk by and Shelley still seems concerned for his former friend as we head to break.

Post break we get another recap of reactions to Randy’s turn last week.

In the back Sami Zayn plays with his jacket and Cathy comes up to get his thoughts on last week. Sami has a match with Aleister Black tonight, but he can’t stop thinking about last week. He’s said a lot about Cody and to Cody, but Cody always tries to be good. Cody always tries to do everything he can for the fans. And that got him stretchered out last week while Randy does what he does and ends a night like he does. Sami feels like doing things the right way the more he’s losing, and he’s starting to think the world he believes in doesn’t exist. Trick Williams shows up to a big pop and puts over himself for beating Jacob Fatu last week. He insults Sami a bit, then Sami says they don’t need to talk anymore, and Trick says might give Sami some pointers. Sami tells Trick get a real good look then heads out.

To the ring and here’s Fraxiom followed by the Motor City Machine Guns.

Match #2 – Tag Team Match: Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin) vs. Fraxiom (Axiom and Nathan Frazer)

Frazer and Shelley tie up, then Frazer hits the ropes with his incredible speed into a dropkick. Axiom tags in and Shelley chops him, blind tag from Sabin and Axiom takes a double shoulder block. For what it’s worth the Guns are in the heel corner. Shelley tags back in and Axiom manages to fight back against both men including a dropkick to Sabin then he tags in Frazer and they double superkick both Sabin and Shelley. That sends us to break.

Double plancha from Frazer and Axiom, they miss then we get stereo superkicks from Sabin and Shelley, then Shelley holds the ropes open so Sabin can hit a suicide dive onto both men. Back in the ring Shelley with a cover on Axiom for a 2 count. Cravat knees from Shelley then a snapmare, he tags Sabin and they hit a tandem hilo and neck crank. Sabin tags Shelley back in and Axiom takes more double team elbows then a knee drop and senton combination. Shelley grabs a front headlock, Axiom fights upright but Shelley with knees to the body then Sabin tags in and Axiom takes double boots to the face. Sabin tags Shelley back in and they repeat that spot. Again Sabin tags back in but Axiom starts fighting back. We rejoin the broadcast as Shelley holds Axiom on the floor but Axiom kicks off the ring post and hits an arm drag then he trips up Sabin and tags in Frazer. Frazer with a dive onto both Sabin and Shelley, then back in the ring he heads up top for a Frog Splash to Sabin then Shelley breaks up the pin. Axiom tags back in, Shelley takes a superkick then a superkick and Brainbuster combination to Sabin for a near fall. Frazer tags back in, he puts Sabin up top and Sabin fights him off then hits a double crossbody onto both men and Shelley blind tags. Sabin with a kick to Axiom and Frazer takes a Magic Killer from the Guns but only a 2 count. Candice has headed down the entrance ramp now, Sabin tags in and things break down leading to Frazer and Axiom hitting the suicide dive train. Back in the ring Sabin is isolated but Shelley yanks Axiom off the ropes then Sabin kicks Frazer into a cheap shot from Candice and Sabin then rolls Frazer up for the pin.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Motor City Machine Guns won in 8:01

Rating: 3 stars
Thoughts: These two teams work really well together, Fraxiom feels like the evolution of the Guns in a lot of ways but the veteran savvy of the Guns plays nicely off of the superior athleticism of Fraxiom. I could do with more from these two teams.

Post match Sabin is happy, I don’t think he saw Candice get involved but Shelley sure did.

We recap the opening from Smackdown again, you know, in case you missed either it or the other recap they did. In the back Randy Orton walks by the car wreck from the opening bit, he’ll talk to us after the break. He got a pop from the crowd so I expect him to get cheered again.

We come back to a recap of RAW, specifically the promo off between Roman Reigns and CM Punk.

Back to the ring and here’s Randy Orton, to a babyface reaction. They’re still signing his song and you can see it bother Randy a bit, the man knows the assignment and that this isn’t what should be happening. Commentary is trying to sell Randy’s action as despicable but they’re at odds with the crowd response. Randy gets a chair, looks like the same one he crushed Cody with last week, then sets it up in the ring and gets a mic. Loud “Randy” chant as he sits down. Randy says for years everyone’s sung along with his entrance music, and what a feeling that is and to get the love from the fans. So he tried to return it, signing things and spending time with kids, and that’s a power he has after doing this for so long. That love, both giving and receiving, puts a smile on his face. And that smile is the emptiest feeling he’s ever felt. He’s been doing this a long time, but nothing lasts forever and he doesn’t want his legacy to be moments given to fans, he wants it to be how many world titles he’s won. That gets a big pop and he clearly wanted boos. Not too long ago he won the Chamber and was going to fight Drew McIntyre. He knew he could be exactly who he needed to be to beat Drew, then Cody got involved. He loves Cody like a brother and wasn’t sure he could be the man he needed to be to beat Cody. But last week Cody took that burden, all the weight and said he wanted the best version of Randy. He needed Randy to listen to the voices and be the Viper again. More cheers. The problem with listening to the voices is things get out of hand, but the killer instinct is necessary to add a 15th title to his legacy. More cheers. And he’ll do it with the RKO, that gets a loud “RKO” chant. Randy hears voices in his head, they counsel him and understand, they talk to him. They tell him he’s going to beat Cody Rhodes, big cheer, and he’s going to win the WWE title at WrestleMania. Well that was a fine fiery babyface promo. . . from what should be a dastardly and violent heel. Randy heads out with the chair as commentary again tries to paint Randy as the evil villain despite everything the crowd is doing.

We get a recap of the Bella twins returning to make things worse.

Aleister Black heads to the ring, he’ll take on Sami Zayn after this break.

Post break we find Randy walking in the back, he walks by Los Garza and Dragon Lee who just walk away from him. Matt Cardona steps to Randy, Cardona gets booed. Cardona asks what Randy was doing last week and Randy then snaps at him and tries to big brother him but people don’t like Cardona enough to boo Randy for calling him an indy nerd or a mark stooge. Randy clocks Cardona to a big pop and tells him to stay out of his business because he wouldn’t understand. Once again, the people Randy can actually attack for heat now are so limited and they wont let him actually do it to the ones that’ll garner heat. Cardona is not going to garner sympathy for himself or heat for Randy.

Back to the ring here’s Sami Zayn for the match. Before the match here comes Trick Williams and his very over chant.

Match #3: Sami Zayn vs. Aleister Black w/ Zelina

30 minutes between matches, not good. Black attacks as Sami is distracted by Trick on the announce table. They start trading strikes but Black gets the better of things with kicks as Trick sits by the commentary table. Some corner work from Black but Sami turns it around and goes for a 10 punch, that goes long then switches to stomps as Black slumps in the corner and we head to break.

Sami with some clotheslines for a 1 count. The crowd chant for Trick because why would they care about the actual match. Sami stares at Trick as Trick does some dancing on the table. That gets Sami to yell at him from the apron, he elbows Black then heads up top but Black clocks him and then climbs up with him but Sami headbutts his way out of a superplex then leaps at Black but flies into a knee to the chin for a near fall. Back elbow from Black then some mounted punches and elbows. Sami gets a boot up out of the corner then tries a Sunset Flip as we come back, looks like Black countered him somehow but we missed it. Black with kicks to the chest, Sami fights upright and starts swinging back with punches. The crowd is kind of booing Sami, Black lands a spinning back elbow to drop Sami though. Sami avoids a Black Mass but runs into a leaping knee to the jaw for a 2 count. Black with a modified Calf Crusher, Sami is able to switch into a pin for 2 though then Black lands a head kick. Some corner strikes from Black, Sami then misses a Helluva Kick and Black lands a Meteora for a 2 count. Sami fights back and clotheslines Black out of the ring to oddly enough some heat. Sami then rams Black into the barricade a couple of times before they head back into the ring. Corner Exploder suplex from Sami, he lines up the Helluva Kick to a mixed response but Black rolls out of the ring by commentary. Sami follows and yanks Trick out of his way to start ramming Black into the announce table. Trick then throws water on Sami’s back, Sami stares him down then thinks about getting back in the ring but instead attacks Trick with punches, nearly a 10 count but Sami gets back in the ring at 9 and walks into a Black Mass and Black wins.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Aleister Black won in 10:18

Rating: 2.5 stars
Thoughts: The story here was between Sami and Trick, Black remains almost an afterthought in most narratives. The upcoming double turn between Sami and Trick is pretty evident, and I’m not sure how well face Trick will work but at this point pretending he’s a heel given his reactions is just silly.

In the back Cardona asks Aldis for a match with Randy tonight, Aldis can’t do it tonight. Cardona storms off and Carmelo Hayes comes over and asks about his next challenger. Aldis says someone got to him for the match, then Hayes turns to see Ilja Dragunov dressed for battle. Ilja says he might always fight himself but he needs to take the shot in front of him, and Hayes one of them will have champagne tonight, the other just pain. Ilja says the pain will entertain, be it his or Hayes’s.

WWE women’s champion Jade Cargill walks, she’ll have promo time again after this break.

Nia Jax and Lash Legend talk and downplay the Bellas and their chance to win tonight. Even on RAW they don’t really have challenges and they’ll put everyone in check. That was the closest their video promos have come to being acceptable.

Back to the ring and here’s Jade Cargill. Jade gets a mic and says she’s not here to waste time and tells Rhea Ripley to get out here. Ripley obliges and gets her own mic to ask what Jade wants, because she’s said everything worth saying and wants to fight. Jade says this is about what Ripley needs, this title. She doesn’t need the title, the ring, or the fans. Cheap heat attempt but it kind of works. Jade says Ripley has been grinding to be someone, but Jade is that bitch with or without wrestling. She’s not here to make friends, just money. Ripley says she’s successfully not made friends, but she’s right that Ripley needs this and she lives for this. She’s worked since she was 16 and wont let someone walk over her. Jade really doesn’t care about Ripley or anyone in the back. She makes wrestling matter while without wrestling Ripley disappears. Ripley sticks up for wrestling and says she doesn’t need the title, because it means less since Jade won it and now the belt needs her. Now Ripley wants that title, so she’s going to take it and welcomes Jade to the big leagues finally. Ripley invites some violence, Jade declines but will get to her on her time. They keep trying with these two but they just can’t quite find a spark between them. Jade goes to leave but here’s Michin and B-Fab to back her up to the ringside area but Jade smirks and all three of them then surround the ring and attack Ripley. B-Fab tracks joining with Jade, Michin not at all though. The three beat down Ripley and Jade punctuates things with Jaded.

In the back Kit Wilson tries to suck up to Miz and Miz says he’s just had a weird week. His vacation was ruined and he’s got a killer sunburn. Danhausen comes over and asks to be with them. Both Wilson and Miz decline his offer and Danhausen reminds Miz that he’s cursed. Miz says Wilson will do this by himself. Miz then has a ladder fall on him, because he’s cursed.

Elsewhere Solo paces in front of his goons and berates them for losing the titles and probably losing Mania. JC tries to push back then Tama tells Solo to return the lantern. He says Solo is sounding like Roman, no reaction from the crowd as Tama is too soft spoken. Before anything comes of that Jacob Fatu drags Drwe McIntyre by and rams him into a door. The two keep fighting until a bunch of officials pull them apart again.

Back to the ring here comes Ilja Dragunov for our next match. We’re really main eventing with the women’s tag team titles? Anyway that US title is up after this break, and those two are magic together so it should be good.

Post break we get confirmation of Dennis Rodman going into the WWE HOF.

Back to the ring and here comes the US champion.

Match #4 – US Title Match: (c) Carmelo Hayes vs. Ilja Dragunov

25 minutes between matches again. They tie up right away and fight for position but Hayes gives a clean break. Another tie up and again Hayes gives a clean break, Ilja shoves him so Hayes slaps him. That fires up Ilja who corners Hayes and unloads with headbutts and chops. More chops from Ilja, oh hey Ilja isn’t wearing his knee brace. Hayes avoids a German suplex then both men avoid kicks, Ilja with a rolling chop, thrust kick from Hayes but Ilja then avoids a springboard clothesline and turns Hayes inside out with a wicked Konstantin Special to send us to break.

Senton from Ilja then more chops. Corner work from Ilja then some more chops. The crowd is kind of with Hayes, Ilja with a corner whip then knee and running boot but Hayes cuts him off with a superkick. Now it’s Hayes who gets to fire strikes then he tries a suplex, Ilja counters into a snap suplex though and gets a 2 count. Scoop slam from Ilja then a second rope knee drop but he still only finds a 2 count. They trade chops, Ilja is getting the better of things though and lands a stomp. Abdominal Stretch from Ilja as we come back to broadcast. Hammer and anvil elbows from Ilja make Hayes slump then Ilja hauls him back up for more elbows. Hayes with some back elbows but Ilja with an overhead throw to keep control. Hayes fights back with a flurry of chops, Ilja grounds him with a snap down and elbows but Hayes fights upright then avoids a Konstantin Special and hits La Mistica, apparently he’s calling it Dirty Diana, and that gets a 2 count. Kip up from Hayes then he starts rolling with a flurry of corner strikes before clothesline Ilja out of the ring and follows with a dive but Hayes almost landed on the announce table. That can’t have felt good. Back in the ring Hayes goes up top and hits a Frog Splash but his ribs are messed up after that dive and he only gets a 2 count. Ilja counters a springboard with a nice German suplex, then he goes up top for a senton which connects for a 2 count. Ilja goes up top again, Hayes crawls to the other side of the ring, he tries a First 48 on the leaping Ilja but Ilja avoids it and drops onto him with a nice H-Bomb only for Hayes to get a foot on the rope to avoid being pinned. Nice sequence as it looks like we go picture in picture.

Back chop from Ilja. German suplex from Ilja, he keeps his grip this time and hits a second one still holding the grip. Ilja yells at Hayes to try harder, the crowd do get behind Hayes a bit now as Hayes breaks the grip and tries a thrust kick but Ilja counters into a bridging German suplex for a 2 count. Hayes kicks Ilja as Ilja made the title gesture, so Ilja tries a powerbomb but Hayes slips free and lands a chop then the springboard clothesline to put both men down. OK, now we’re back to broadcast they’re on the apron and Ilja hits a sickening apron Death Valley Driver. Ilja just never stops finding fire, he drags Hayes up top with him and wants a superplex but Hayes counters into an avalanche Black Crush but he only finds a near fall. Hayes with chops, Ilja calls him on for more then fires back with elbows. They start trading wild strikes, Ilja lands a boot then chops and a rolling chops to the leg but he runs into an enziguri, then comes off the rope with a stomp. Powerbomb from Ilja into a pin but only a near fall again. Ilja with a rib breaker but he still can’t find a 3 count. Now Ilja lines up Torpedo Moscow but he runs into a First 48 from Hayes for just another near fall! Good Lord these two. Hayes goes up top, he wants Nothing But Net, Ilja avoids it and hits Torpedo Moscow then pulls Hayes for a powerbomb but Hayes rolls through into a Sunset Flip and gets the 3 count.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Carmelo Hayes retained the title in 16:06

Rating: 4 stars
Thoughts: These two can basically do no wrong together. I’m a little sad we’re probably done with them for a bit, they just have magic together, but without some new wrinkle they’ve kind of exhausted what they can do together at the moment. Ilja sadly might get lost in the shuffle now, because his flirtation with the main event scene seemed to definitively end with him on the outside and now the midcard title is pretty solidly beyond his grasp.

In the back Priest and Truth talk with Jelly Roll, Jelly congratulates them on their win. Jelly walks off and finds Randy. Randy apologizes for last week, and Jelly says he’s just worried about Randy. He knows what it’s like to be the worst version of himself, he wont judge Randy but wonders if Randy still knows what he means to this place. He puts over Randy’s redemption journey and asks why he’s trying to become the version of himself he already overcame. Jelly knows a great human, the husband and father with a beautiful soul, he doesn’t know the guy who did that last week. Ultimately he still loves Randy. Randy says he was out of line with Cardona and Jelly tells him to find Cardona and do the right thing. Randy seems amenable, so we’re finding Cardona as a bloody mess later.

Kit Wilson heads to the ring, he’ll call out Jelly Roll after this break.

We come back to a recap of Brock Lesnar and Oba Femi’s interaction from RAW, in case you missed it. They’re treating Femi’s Fall From Grace to Brock like the Kennedy Assassination or something. It was great but come one please.

Back to the ring and Wilson has a mic, he says last week Jelly crossed the line and started a fight that Wilson will finish tonight. He wants to settle things like men. That does bring out Jelly. Jelly gets in the ring and Wilson powders while Jelly gets a mic. Jelly says they’re gonna fight and wants a ref but Wilson says Jelly’s ego is ahead of his brain. Wilson wants to settle this like civilized gentlemen, he doesn’t fight with his fists he fights with his words. Jelly says this is getting weird, and says Wilson can’t win a rap battle with him. Wilson is not a rapper, he’s better than them, instead we have slam poetry. OK then. Jelly laughs at the book Wilson brought. Wilson says Jelly has no class, just ugly face tats and a criminal past. Well done on losing the weight and looking thin, now he looks like a melted blob of skin. Your fat phobic and toxic, maybe even a jerk but he’s proof ozempic does work. A dick joke follows, of course. Jelly chimes in now and says that was pretty good and he has no book but does have something for Wilson. Wilson tried to destroy him, but he doesn’t have to see his dick because Wilson’s mother sees it for him. Talk about ozempic, that’s original saying he’s fat, but he put that belly on Wilson’s mom’s back. Wilson attacks Jelly from behind then hits a corner uppercut. Wilson up top and hits an elbow drop.

In the back Giulia and Kiana James talk, Giulia is upset James lost last week and they bicker but here’s Chelsea Green and Alba Fyre. Green says the enemy of her enemy is her friend and wants help with Tiffany Stratton. Giulia loudly doesn’t need help and storms off, then Jax shows up to shove the wheelchair of Green off screen then she and Lash Legend head to the ring.

We find Aldis in the back, Jelly wants a fight with Wilson and Aldis says he’s got it next week. OK then.

To the ring, the champs got the jobbers entrance. That’s just insane. The Bellas follow.

Match #5 – Women’s Tag Team Title Match: (c) Irresistible Forces (Nia Jax and Lash Legend) vs. Bella Twins (Brie and Nikki)

Brie and Nikki avoid a cheap shot and Nikki settles in with Jax. Jax knocks Nikki over with ease then misses an elbow drop. Brie tags in and hits a dropkick to the back. Some arm wringers from Brie then she tags Nikki back in to attack the arm. Jax yanks them into each other, Nikki and Brie knock Lash off the apron then hit a double bulldog. That brings Charlotte Flair and Alexa Bliss down, as Lash pump kicks Nikki then knocks Brie out of the ring and we go picture in picture.

Some corner work from Lash to Nikki then she tosses her out of the ring. Jax hops down, Bliss and Charlotte are seated beside the announce table. Naturally Jax throws Nikki into Charlotte and Bliss, Lash and Charlotte trade words as Jax and Nikki head back into the ring. Lash tags back in and Nikki takes some blows through the ropes then a side slam from Jax. Chin lock from Lash, Nikki fights back with a jawbreaker but Lash blocks the tag and tosses Nikki down. Lash’s control stuff is still pretty uninteresting. Jax tags in but Nikki fights back out of the heel corner then slips climbing the ropes but still sort of hits an enziguri. We come back as Nikki makes a tag. Brie up top for a flying dropkick. Knee to Jax, then she avoids a big sit from Jax after a failed Sunset Flip. Kicks from Brie, if Bryan Danielson showed up he’d be the most over guy on the roster given how people are reacting to Brie. Lash and Jax both wind up on the floor, Nikki tags in and hits a top rope crossbody onto both of them. Back in the ring Nikki gets distracted by Lash and Jax then tags Lash, but Jax hits an avalanche Samoan Drop and Lash follows with a second rope Splash and Brie has to save the match. Brie with a Bella Buster to Lash, Jax then shoves Brie into the ring steps. Nikki gets Lash with the Fearless Lock, but on the floor Charlotte blocks Jax from hitting Brie with a belt and that gets the match thrown out.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Irresistible Forces won via disqualification in 8:00

Rating: 1.5 stars
Thoughts: These two teams just didn’t click. Lash is still pretty green in a lot of ways, Nikki is still oddly rusty, Brie is coasting on references to Bryan, and Jax is just Jax. The finish was horribly predictable but not in a good way, and frankly this trio of teams still feels really out of sync with each other.

Post match we get a big brawl with all three teams, ultimately the champions stand tall after a Demolition Decapitation to Charlotte.

In the back Randy is on the phone and tells whoever’s there that he’s going to the ring right now to fix things. That will be up after this break. Everyone’s going to cheer his mutilation of Cardona, for crying out loud who’s in charge of this?

Post break commentary talk about WrestleMania on ESPN then run down next weeks card. We’ll get Jelly and Wilson in a match, Giulia vs. Tiffany Stratton for Giulia’s US title, of course the Bellas against Bliss and Charlotte and I can’t wait for Jax and Lash to interfere in that match.

Randy’s music hits again, he still gets a big pop as he heads to the ring. He’s still got that chair with him, he interacts positively with a kid on the way down. Some smiling from Randy and he hand slaps with the fans ringside. I know what they’re trying to do with this but it’s not going to work. Randy sets the chair up but does his corner pose which he didn’t do last time. Eventually he gets a mic and sits down again briefly before folding the chair and pacing. He says he’s got an apology he needs to make, to Matt Cardona and brings Cardona out. Cardona does head down, because he’s a dummy. Eventually Cardona does get to the ring and Randy says he’s been out of his head and is legitimately sorry and apologizes for what he did to Cardona. He’ll apologize to Cody next week but tonight he asks for Cardona to forgive him. Cardona hugs him and seems to accept, but predictably that leads to a trip to dick kick city then an RKO. The crowd, once again I cannot stress this enough, cheer all of this. They head to the announce table and Randy lays into Cardona with punches then drags the base of the ring steps over again. Officials run down and that gets boos, Randy backs off a bit then responds to loud “Randy” chants by putting his face in his hands then throwing Cardona back in the ring and unloading with punches and stomps. Randy then goes to Pillmanize the arm of Cardona, officials pull him away but he breaks through them and stomps the chair to “break the arm” of Cardona. And once again, Randy gets cheered loudly for all of this. Randy gets pulled up the ramp, the crowd chant “one more time” and the closest thing to heat Randy gets is not obliging them.

Elsewhere in the back Fatu and Drew still fight, they’re up on a scaffold and trading headbutts, then both men fall off the elevated spot behind a fence and Aldis freaks out calling for medical as the episode ends.