Kevin’s Random Reviews: WWF Armageddon 2000

WWF Armageddon 2000
December 10th, 2000 | Birmingham-Jefferson Civic Center in Birmingham, Alabama | Attendance: 14,920

The year 2000 was one of the best in WWE history. However, things began to trail off after head writer Chris Kreski left. His storyboard and TV writing style approach helped shape layered storytelling that made for a fun year. He stepped down in November, with Stephanie McMahon taking over. This is the first or second PPV under her helm and the second Armageddon in history.

The opening video package had Jim Johnston’s “The End,” which fit the PPV perfectly and would be used at several others in the future. That was followed by their “Sweet Home Alabama” cover, which sucked, as the opening pyro went off. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler handled commentary.

It’s the Attitude Era, so we cut straight backstage to show Vince McMahon arriving and greeted by the Stooges. They warned him about the Hell in a Cell and Vince said it might not be hanging there for long.

Elimination Match: Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero and Perry Saturn w/ Terri Runnels vs. The Hardy Boyz and Lita
This was during Dean’s weird storyline where he badly wanted Lita. Quick action from the start and though Dean is the main heel in the storyline, the crowd chanted “Eddie sucks”. Needless to say, they were quite happy when Lita hit him with a Twist of Fate and Jeff nailed the Swanton to eliminate him at 2:58. Saturn got some shine next, planting Jeff with a DVD to get rid of him at 3:41. The pace kept moving and Saturn was sent packing after a Twist of Fate in 5:09. Terri snuck in, showing the crowd her ass in the process, and jumped Matt. Lita took her out with a spear that she bumped horribly on. Dean dumped Lita out and rolled up Matt at 5:36. The crowd loved Lita and badly wanted her to overcome the sleazy Malenko. Lita busted out some offense, but got caught with a superplex. Dean could win right there, but took time to pick Lita up and beat her up with several moves. A Texas Cloverleaf ended it at 8:08. This should’ve been done at Survivor Series, as it felt very rushed on this show. Still, it was rather fun and advanced the story, which eventually led to the Matt/Lita romance. [**½]

Dean attempted to continue the damage after the match, but the Hardy Boyz made the save.

Backstage, Kurt Angle squatted while Lillian Garcia tried getting a word with him. He isn’t scared of an eyebrow, nose, bad ass, fat ass or redneck. Kurt was gold.

HIAC Moment: Triple H back dropping Cactus Jack through the Cell and ring.

WWF European Championship: William Regal [c] vs. Hardcore Holly
Regal ran down the crowd before Holly interrupted. He got no reaction until it was announced that he’s from Mobile, Alabama. He started hot before Regal caught him with a boot and slowed the pace. Holly retaliated with JR’s favorite dropkick and the falcon arrow (HE DID THE DEAL). Props to Holly for busting out the Alabama Jam for two. Holly countered the Regal Stretch, but Raven ran in and hit him with a DDT. Regal covered to retain in 4:59. Nothing match that was kind of just there. [*½]

Rikishi was interviewed after a recap of Kurt Angle messing up his alliance with Triple H. He wasn’t happy.

Chyna vs. Val Venis w/ WWF Women’s Champion Ivory
JR asked if Chyna was up to the task, like she hadn’t been in tougher matches. This feud stemmed from the Right to Censor not being happy that Chyna was in Playboy. She attacked Venis in the aisle for the upper hand. Val swung the tide, while Lawler made “butter face” comments about Ivory. That’s just mean. Chyna made a short rally and Val missed the Money Shot. However, Ivory tripped Chyna, leading to a fisherman suplex finish in 5:02. Nothing match. Chyna was never very good and Val was arguably at his worst in the RTC. [¾*]

Backstage, Stephanie McMahon pleaded to her dad about her concern for Triple H in Hell in a Cell. Vince said he’d put a stop to it.

Earlier today, Undertaker was interviewed since the Cell. He basically just hyped the brutality of the match. Not sure why this had to take place in the Cell. It also took forever.

Vince McMahon and the Stooges arrived for something I detest; the PPV in-ring promo. It only works in rare occasions and this wasn’t one of them. He spoke about his concerns for the HIAC and his upcoming divorce. He requested five seconds of silence for the men in the main event and this segment accomplished nothing.

Last Man Standing Match: Chris Jericho vs. Kane
JR opened this by asking, “Can you believe this all started with a cup of coffee?” No, JR. None of us can. Earlier in the year, Jericho was in the best Last Man Standing match I’ve ever seen. He should’ve rode that to a major second half of 2000, but was instead placed in programs with X-Pac and this dire one with Kane. They brawled in the aisle and to the back for a bit, before taking it down to ringside. They made it to the ring, where Kane took to wearing Jericho down with dull offense as the crowd sat on their hands. Jericho beat the count a few times, but none of it was something that should defeat him. Kane brought a chair into play, though it was Jericho who got offense going. Kane press slammed Jericho outside and they moved back to the entrance. Jericho put Kane through a table with a horrible looking face buster. He then knocked a bunch of barrels over onto Kane, which kept him down for the count after 17:17. Oh, boy. That sucked. The feud was trash and the match was even worse. They did a lot of nothing to kill time and it felt like it took 35 minutes instead of 17. [*]

Jonathan Coachman got a word with Commissioner Mick Foley about the main event. He called the last match “brutal” and he wasn’t wrong, but it was more brutal for the fans than the competitors. Foley has no second thoughts on the Cell.

Shawn Michaels gave his thoughts on the main event from WWF New York and basically said anything could happen.

HIAC Moment ~ Some of the beating Mick Foley took against the Undertaker in 1998 was shown.

WWF Tag Team Championship: The Right to Censor [c] w/ Steven Richards vs. The Dudley Boyz vs. Edge and Christian vs. K-Kwik and Road Dogg
The main rivalry here was between the Dudleys and RTC, but that wasn’t interesting enough for a straight up tag, I guess. Bubba and Road Dogg worked a double Shake, Rattle and Roll spot, before turning on one another. I got a small kick out of that. The teams all traded stuff, with everyone getting their signature stuff in. The real pop came when the Dudleys hit WAZZUP and called for the tables. That’s the main reason the RTC have been opposed to them. Richards delivered a DDT on D-Von, leaving Bubba all alone. Edge speared him, Christian hit the Unprettier and Edge covered to capture their fourth Tag Team Titles in 9:44. This was fine. Decent action, but a lot of it didn’t seem to mean much until the Dudleys got going. [**¼]

Backstage, Stephanie expressed her concern to Triple H, but he didn’t care because the WWF Title means everything to him.

HIAC Moment – Cactus goes through the cell at No Way Out.

WWF Intercontinental Championship: Billy Gunn [c] vs. Chris Benoit
After Benoit and Jericho traded the IC Title, they were given main event test runs. That left the title to the lackluster hands of Val Venis, Rikishi and Billy Gunn. Yikes. After some quick back and forth, Benoit put the focus on Billy’s knee and wrenched away at it. Gunn would find small openings, like a sunset flip, but Benoit was just too good. Dragon screws, figure fours, rolling Germans. It was a clinic. Billy came back again, but the leg kept him from fully capitalizing. After a botch, Benoit wrapped thing up with a Crippler Crossface in 10:03. That was like an extended squash. Billy did next to nothing of note. Benoit working the leg a ton, only to win via Crossface was kind of odd. Either way, I can’t dislike a match where Billy gets his ass kicked. [**]

JR had words with Steve Austin and he, like everyone else tonight, put over the Cell.

WWF Women’s Championship: Ivory [c] vs. Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus
Trish and Molly were the heels, so they teamed up on Molly. They quickly went to arguing, with the camera man giving us shots of Trish’s ass. Molly took them both out with a cross body and busted out a Liger Bomb on Trish. I did not expect that. Ivory dumped Molly out and Ivory stole the pin in 2:12. Total filler and it didn’t even last long. Props to Molly, at least. [*]

T&A showed up and threatened Molly, which caused Crash to show up. The APA saved Crash, because they were feuding with T&A. They got a great pop.

HIAC Moment – Foley getting thrown off the Cell at KOTR.

Rock got interviewed by Kevin Kelly and did his usual spiel, with a slightly more serious tone.

WWF Championship Hell in a Cell: Kurt Angle [c] vs. Rikishi vs. The Rock vs. Steve Austin vs. Triple H vs. The Undertaker
Angle came out third. You’d expect the champion to be first or last. Austin attacked Angle outside to get things started. Everyone paired off to their Survivor Series opponents (Rock/Rikishi, Austin/HHH, Taker/Angle) for the next few minutes. It made sense because those are mostly animosity driven rivalries. Austin busted HHH open by grating his face on the mesh. He did it all the way around the ring, even having to step over other guys fighting in the process. Rikishi saved HHH with a leg drop, but HHH payed him back with a Pedigree. We were treated to the old finisher barrage, but everyone kept breaking up pins. With the action reaching the next level, Vince McMahon and the Stooges returned with a truck. They used it to rip the door off and Vince’s plan was to somehow bring down the structure with it. Mick Foley arrived and wailed on the Stooges, before having Vince escorted by security. With the door gone, the fight moved towards the entrance. HHH continued to get battered by Austin and took a wild looking slingshot into a car (which was part of the entrance setup). Nearly everyone was bleeding by this point. To escape Austin, HHH climbed the Cell. Austin followed and beat his ass some more. Undertaker and Angle followed suit, with more brawling until Rikishi and Rock made their way up top. A chair was thrown to the top and Rikishi used it. Taker fought back and kind of choke shoved him off the top onto the bed of the truck. Though that was the big, memorable spot from this match, I was more into what came next. Rock and Austin had a faceoff, previewing their upcoming WrestleMania main event. Rock hit Angle with a Rock Bottom and Austin broke the count. Austin hit Rock with a Stunner, but HHH stopped him from pinning. While he went after Austin, Angle draped an arm over Rock to retain in 32:14. I thought this was a great match, but not one of the best Cells in history. They did well with the moving parts, though there were probably too many with six guys and the Foley/McMahon stuff. Kurt looked like the sixth strongest guy in the match, which was a problem. Though it wasn’t an all-time great, some of the spots were cool and the match was highly entertaining. [****]

Post-match, Steve Austin hit a Stunner on Kurt Angle, for reasons.

3.5

The final score: review Bad

The 411

So much of this PPV felt like filler. It was the definition of a one match show. They continually hyped the main event throughout the night and it was the sole focus. Everything else felt like it was there to fill the other two hours. The two tag matches were decent, but something you could get on TV. The only other match with a shot at standing out was Jericho/Kane, but they put on a stinker of a performance. Check out the main event and skip the rest of the show.