The Name on the Marquee: NWA World Championship Wrestling (2.20.1988)

-Sting battles Ric Flair in one empty fucking arena.

-Originally aired February 20, 1988.

-Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross, & David Crockett. We have NEW six-man tag team champions, and it appears we have a new tag team forming in the NWA as a result of a recent incident in the Omni. I’m intrigued!

VARSITY CLUB (with Kevin Sullivan) vs CURTIS THOMPSON & MAC MCGYVER
-I want to get into the Varsity Club, but Kevin Sullivan’s compulsive need to shoehorn his daffy Satan worshipper shtick into an arrogant jock faction just doesn’t click for me.

-Steiner powerslams McGiver for a one-count and drives a fist into his skull. Club has an argument because Rotundo insists on tagging in and Steiner doesn’t really want to quit wrestling yet. For anyone keeping track of title prestige ranking in the NWA, this week they’ve decided that the TV Title is the second-most prestigious title in the NWA.

-Club pulls and tugs on McGiver’s face and Rotundo dropkicks him to the floor. Thompson finally tags in, gets punched, and tags out. Good contribution, Curtis. German suplex by Steiner, and he sticks a finger in McGiver’s mouth and “brushes his teeth” until he submits. Yes, that was really the finish.

-Kevin Sullivan goes on a rant about extinct animals. Dusty Rhodes, Jimmy Garvin, and Barry Windham will each go extinct, one by one.

SHANE DOUGLAS vs THUNDERFOOT #2
-#2 walks alone as a result of Thunderfoot #1 having the worst night ever, getting fired from the NWA on Christmas night, and accidentally committing vehicular manslaughter on the drive home.

-Thunderfoot misses a corner charge and misses. Rapid fire dropkicks by Douglas, and he works the arm as JR speculates that Douglas is looking for a partner to join him in the Crockett Cup, and Tony teases an announcement about “something special happening on the Superstation during the month of March.”

-Douglas whips Thunderfoot and armdrags him, applying an armbar. Belly to belly finishes it. JR, at the sight of the belly-to-belly, christens Shane “the new Magnum TA.”

-David Crockett talks to Shane and Ricky Santana. Ricky pledges his support if Shane ever needs a tag team partner. Shane says he’s been working out with Magnum TA, whom he considers an inspiration.

-We go to Ric Flair defending the NWA Title on World Wide Wrestling. Referee gets wiped out and Sting applies the scorpion deathlock on Flair. JJ rams the referee into the post just to make sure he’s out cold. JJ calls Arn to the ring to interfere, but we have an awesome visual as Lex, Barry, and all the babyface jobbers in the building run into the ring and surround Sting, and Arn is now too afraid to try anything. Sting figures out that there’s no way he’s winning the belt anyway now, so he just lets go of the hold and Arn & JJ get Flair out of there. Referee actually cared enough to blade for this finish.

-Sting is in the studio, and he wants another shot at the champ!

RON SIMMONS vs DAVID ISLEY
-Simmons whips Isley and headbutts his back. Powerslam and a bow and arrow as JR puts over this new style by Ron Simmons, who doesn’t dance anymore. He never danced. Boston crab by Simmons. Isley taps, but it’s only 1988 so it doesn’t mean anything. Simmons finally lets go and tries a bearhug instead. Isley punches out, but a flying tackle ends it for Simmons.

-Baby Doll won’t tell anyone what’s in her envelope, not even Larry. Larry says whatever it is, Dusty just needs to face the consequences.

“Hot Stuff” EDDIE GILBERT vs GEORGE SOUTH
-Dropkick by Gilbert, who declares he feels good about that move. South goes to a side headlock, but South breaks it with a handful of hair. Gilbert’s doing a funny deal where he looks directly into the camera during all of his offensive moves. Suplex by Gilbert gets two. South gets a burst of offense but crashes on an attempted dropkick, and the hot shot puts him away.

-David Crockett welcomes “The Living Legend” Dusty Rhodes, who names all the cities where dues are going to be paid. He has made peace with Ole Anderson, a man with lots of guts. Baby Doll strolls out and says Dusty needs to forfeit his US Title to Larry or pay the consequences.

LARRY ZBYZSKO (Western States Heritage Champion, with Baby Doll) vs TRENT KNIGHT
-Larry starts with a single leg takedown and keeps Knight tied down on the mat. He throws a kick and backdrops Knight as a “We want Dusty” chant goes up and Dusty goes to a crossface chicken wing. Neckbreaker ends it.

-We get words from the new six-man tag champiosns. The dumb six-man tag trophy has thankfully been replaced by actual belts.

IVAN KOLOFF & POWERS OF PAIN (Six-Man Tag Team Champions, with Paul Jones) vs MIKE JACKSON, THE RAIDER, & STEVE ATKINSON
-Funny, as the champs get in the ring and Jackson & Atkinson immediately go to the apron, basically declaring “Not it!” Barbarian murders Raider. Atkinson reluctantly tags in and Koloff chokes him out. Jackson tags in. Barbarian gives him a backbreaker, holds on, and gives him another one. Atkinson comes back in and gets thrown to the concrete for a riding crop assault.

-This squash just goes on and on and on for a few more minutes until the top rope sickle finishes. I mean, I seriously got bored and just kind of tuned it out and forgot to type until they went to the finish. I’m starting to get burned out on the TBS show, I can’t stand how long they drag out these one-side matches.

-Ric Flair is here. Sting can’t beat him, Lex Luger is begging for an injury, and being world champ means paying a price. Case in point, Flair demonstrates that the wound on his forehead is so fresh, he just slaps himself and draws out a stream of blood, freaking out David Crockett. “Lex Luger, next time it will be YOUR turn to pay the price! Wooooo!”

ARN ANDERSON & TULLY BLANCHARD (World Tag Team Champions, with JJ Dillon) vs LARRY STEPHENS & TONY SUBER
-Side headlock and a slam by Suber, and Arn is a little freaked out that the jobber is giving him a challenge. Tully tags in. Funny thing. Suber apparently needed new tights and apparently just bought biking shorts at a sporting goods store, and he has a massive Reebok logo on his thigh.

-Arn & Tully double-team Stephens. Spinebuster and the slingshot suplex close this one out.

-Ron Simmons addresses his aggression in the ring. He doesn’t set out to injure any man, he’s just obsessed with being the best. Arn Anderson is feeling ballsy, so he heads over and calls Ron “Boy” and Ron warns him he’d better bring a shotgun the next time the two of them are in the same building. David Crockett’s facial expressions were the high point of this exchange.

LEX LUGER & BARRY WINDHAM vs BEAR COLLIE & COUGAR JAY
-On paper, this appears to be a fascinating squash match pitting Lex and Barry against four animals, but it turns out to be two jobbers with wacky names.

-Cougar Jay, possessing the power and intensity of both a fierce wildcat and a small bird, gets hammered on by Luger and slammed by Windham. Press slam by Luger, and he tags in Bear Collie, combining the strength and predatory instincts of a grizzle with the friendliness and immaculate fur of a dog with above average intelligence.

-Windham applies a chinlock and Collie tags Cougar back in. Torture rack wraps it up.

SPAM SLAM!
-Sting’s stinger splash is your Spam Slam of the Week!

-Lex says he was in a lot of pain at the Omni last week, but he’s still standing here!
-Tony Schiavone says that Friday nights in Houston are legendary for professional wrestling, and it’s due to one man. JR announces that Paul Boesch has joined the NWA Board of Directors. We get a video package about the remarkable life of Paul Boesch, who says he is fully retired from promoting but is honored to take on a new responsibility by joining the NWA Board of Directors, and making wrestling better. He starts March 4, which I guess explains why this week’s episode is a piece of shit, Paul’s not helping make it better yet.

-Boesch’s arrival in the company is a funny story, as we last saw him a year ago pledging loyalty to Vince McMahon and the WWF and basically handing Vince the keys to Houston Wrestling. There ended up being a huge disagreement over what exactly Vince was paying for. Boesch’s stance was Vince was paying for the right to promote WWF wrestling in Houston without competition, while Vince was under the impression that he was paying Boesch to actually put forth an effort to promote WWF house shows, so when Vince actually tried to get Paul to, like, DO STUFF, Paul said that wasn’t part of the deal and demanded more money. This led to the famous WWF Paul Boesch Retirement Show, where Boesch held Vince up and demanded literally the entire gate from the card, so Vince lost money on the deal, and then Boesch went trotting off to the NWA. So Vince got fucked six ways from Sunday when he tried to take over Houston.

-JJ Dillon is here to remind us that in the past, Lex and Ole aided and abetted in acts of assault to injure Dusty Rhodes, so Dusty had better thing real hard about who his REAL friends are before he goes into the Omni for that six-man tag match against the Horsemen. And that’s the show everyone, roll cred—JESUS, we still have two matches?

RICKY SANTANA vs KEITH STEINBORN
-Santana ties up Steinborn and gives him a double underhook. He works the arm and clotheslines Steinborn down, and a forearm to the jaw finishes.

JIVE TONES vs ALAN MARTIN & RUSTY RIDDLE
-Shaska clotheslines Martin. Tiger chops him down. Riddle comes in and gets slammed. Double Russian legsweep wraps it up.

2.0

The final score: review Very Bad

The 411

Good GOD that was a boring week! Show us the six-man tag title match! Show us the full Flair/Sting match instead of just the finish. That way we have two competitive bouts and they cut into time so we don't need to endure these squash matches where they beat someone into a corpse, then reanimate the body because they still need to use up four minutes. This shit's hard to watch for two straight hours.