wrestling
The Name on the Marquee: NWA World Championship Wrestling (9.17.1988)
-Cold open: the finish of Sting/Windham from the Clash.
-Originally aired September 17, 1988.
-Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross, and David Crockett. Tony starts right off with the news that the Midnight Express defeated Arn & Tully to capture the gold in Philadelphia last Saturday night. Jim Ross shits on Brian Bosworth for his autobiography, where he complains that Sting stole his haircut. For the record, Sting had the haircut first and there’s documented proof of that. Okay, then.
FANTASTICS vs. MIKE JACKSON & EDDIE SWEAT
-Fulton starts with Jackson, shoulderblocking him down and working the arm while JR suspects that another run of Fantastics/Midnight matches are imminent as a result of last Saturday.
-Rogers gets backdropped but lands on his feet and dropkicks Jackson. Fulton stays on the arm until Sweat comes in. Sweat falls victim to a Samoan drop right away, and the Fantastic rocket launcher puts him away.
-David Crockett welcomes Ric Flair. They’re still using the Four Horsemen graphic to welcome him and I’m genuinely curious to see how long they cling to that bit of hope. Flair assures us that Lex Luger is NOT the man.
RUSSIAN ASSASSINS (with Paul Jones) vs. KEITH STEINBORN & GARY ROYAL
-Little thing I’ve noticed lately; they’re trying to create the illusion of being in an arena by actually showing guys emerge from the curtains to walk to the ring, which they never used to do.
-Steinborn gets whipped into the corner, and #2 whips #1 into the corner. Steinborn gets choked out and #1 works the back over. Jones palms something to #2, who tucks it in his mask and kills Steinborn dead with a headbutt to get the victory.
-Assassins cut a promo for the first time. One of them has mastered the language well. None of them has mastered the accent well.
BRAD ARMSTRONG vs. AGENT STEEL
-Armstrong shoulderblocks Steel down as they finally follow up on the TV Title from the Clash and Brad gets his props from the commentators.
-They stay on the mat and Brad works the arm while the commentators go through the obituaries and send well-wishes to the families of Leroy McGuirk and a dedicated TBS fan. Russian legsweep by Brad finishes it.
-Nikita Koloff cuts such a weird promo, calling out Paul Jones and the Russian Assassins because of the way that Paul Jones had his men injure the Road Warriors. I feel like there’s some other issue with Paul Jones that maybe Nikita could bring up and pick a fight over, but what do I know?
“Dr. Death” STEVE WILLIAMS vs. CURTIS THOMPSON
-Williams slams Thompson down right away. Bubba slam by Williams, and he decides to lay claim to the DDT now that Arn’s gone. And then Thompson bounces right up from it, so Williams takes him down and works his arm. Stampede finishes it.
-Road Warriors are here, and David Crockett reveals that Jim Cornette has acknowledged them as the new number-one contenders for his men’s belts. And then Animal reacts to that by saying Cornette needs to shut the hell up and not tell the Road Warriors what to do. That’s either foreshadowing or a case of Animal just not listening.
IVAN KOLOFF vs. JERRY PRICE
-Koloff just hammers and boots down Price. He takes Price out to the floor and rams him into the commentary podium. Hey, come on, Cornette just said last week you all got a warning about that! Ted Turner’s going to write you up now.
-Koloff snaps Price’s neck and keeps putting the boots to him. Sickle off the second rope puts him out of his misery.
-Ivan Koloff is not proud of everything in his past, but does not expect pity or mercy. His only regret was bringing two arrogant, greedy monsters to the USA. Ivan started this problem, and now he says he’ll end it.
-Jim Cornette strolls in to celebrate his men’s victory as he introduces…
MIDNIGHT EXPRESS (All the Belts, with Jim Cornette) vs. J.C. WILDE & BRUCE HOLLIS
-Eaton throws Wilde out to the floor while Cornette plays up the struggle of hauling the belts around. Stan Lane boots Wilde down while Cornette announces they’re going to enjoy having both sets of belts for the next week or so and then surrender them for a tournament. Wilde takes a beating while Cornette congratulates Arn Anderson on at least retaining his Dom DeLuise Look-Alike Championship. Flapjack gets the three count.
SPAM SLAM!
-The Doomsday Device again.
-Sweet Stan shovels the dirt, saying that Arn & Tully have gone from champagne and limos to cheap beer and rental cars because they just got exposed and the world knows they were never really championship material.
VARSITY CLUB (with Kevin Sullivan) vs. MIKE JUSTICE & TERRY JONES
-Rotunda insists on starting on slams Justice down. Steiner tags in and Rotunda’s all annoyed because Steiner forgot to take off his jacket, but when he tries to rip it off, Steiner resists because he WANTS to wear the jacket while he wrestles. Belly-to-belly looks to finish, but Sullivan orders him to tag out so Rotunda and do the double underhook and get the win. Steiner obliges but hilariously lies on top of Rotunda so he can get the pin too.
DOG COLLAR MATCH: RON SIMMONS vs. KEVIN SULLIVAN (with Gary Hart)
-So it’s Texas Death rules for this one, you have to answer the count of ten. Gary Hart distracts before the bell and Simmons goes after him, so Sullivan, who doesn’t have the collar on yet, just whips him while moving around freely. Teddy Long’s not even trying to stop him. Sullivan comes off the top but meets a shot to the gut, and Simmons just unleashes on him with the chain, which actually comes off, so the match is just totally meaningless now and Teddy sounds the bell. Kevin and Gary try to hang Simmons after the bell, but just guess who comes to rescue Simmons and give himself the rub.
-So Dusty says he knew all along that Sullivan was just using Ron Simmons as a stepping stone to get to the American Dream, and he dares Sullivan to step up, baby.
-Jim Crockett decrees that there will be a more secure set of dog collars the next time the NWA does a dog collar match. They’ll use PADLOCKS, dammit.
BARRY WINDHAM (US Champion, with JJ Dillon) vs. RANDY MULKEY
-Windham looks like he’s in a foul mood and goes right on the assault, hammering away and throwing Mulkey to the concrete. Back in, Windham slams Mulkey, and the flying lariat ends it with ease.
-JJ Dillon concedes that the Midnight Express was a better team than the one that JJ brought to Philadelphia, shovel shovel shovel. But now he has to experience the stress of backing up what he says against every team in the NWA. He promises that the Four Horsemen aren’t finished as a unit.
STING vs. MAX MCGYVER
-Sting grabs McGyver by the nose while snapping his arm. Splash and the scorpion deathlock end it with speed.