Pantoja’s NJPW G1 Climax 33 Night 5 Review

NJPW G1 Climax 33 Night 5

July 21^st, 2023 | Aore Nagaoka in Nagaoka, Niigata

So I spent today watching Barbie and then getting to some World Cup games so this fell to the backburner. On a happier note, I ordered the first night of the 5 Star Grand Prix and will have that review promptly up on Sunday.

D Block: Tanga Loa [2] vs. YOSHI-HASHI [2]

Please, no. I saw this at Castle Attack in 2021 and it was very not good (*½). HASHI tried a rollup to start this and I really wish he would’ve won that way. Tanga having to go long has been an issue. The knee was the target again and while this was Tanga’s best match of the tournament so far, it still wasn’t anything you need to see. The leg work was largely fine and nothing more. Tanga hit a diving headbutt late but fell to the crucifix bomb that won HASHI his first match, completing this in 12:35. Like I said, inoffensive and fine at best. [**¼]

C Block: Gabe Kidd [2] vs. Ren Narita [2]

This is intriguing. If he’s not made to look like a goof, Kidd is someone I’m pretty happy to see get this chance and Narita rules. Narita was prepared for the sneak attack, showing that some guys are actually smart in New Japan. He cut it off and demanded they face off in the ring, allowing this to mostly start straight up. What we got in the ring was strong as this was two guys looking to stand out and have a hard hitting match. Kidd pulled a Yano and removed the corner pad before sending Narita into it. That gave him the upper hand for a while until Narita rallied. However, Kidd used a low blow to escape the Cobra Twist and got a surprising win with a piledriver in 10:05. As expected, this was good stuff. I’m interested if we ever get Shibata/Kidd. [***¼]

D Block: El Phantasmo [0] vs. The Great-O-Khan [0]

We’ve got a first time meeting here. ELP looked to start hot but O-Khan put his focus on the neck and shoulders, weakening ELP and setting the tone for a mat-based bout. Thankfully, O-Khan is pretty solid there and ELP did a very good job of selling the damage. It’s an interesting match type for ELP because he usually works quickly and at a high octane. The best spot was ELP going for a purple nurple only to find that freaky ass Great O-Khan liked that shit. We respect a kinky king. The finish kind of hurt this match as it was rather dull as the Sheep Killer kind of flattens matches like the Money Clip. This went 12:46 and was good. [***]

C Block: Chase Owens [2] vs. Hikuleo [0]

Gedo has to be trolling me at this point. I swear he hates me. Owens ran early and used something to crack Hikuleo after coming out from under the ring. It got no reaction. Owens targeted the wrist which was a decision. Everything they did was slow, sluggish, and uninteresting. This is the match everyone should point to when they to show that this tournament was too big. I don’t even have the energy to go into any detail about what they did because it was all bad. Chase did underhanded things to avoid Hikuleo’s big blows and then used his knee brace as a weapon to win in 11:20. And the knee brace shot looked hilariously soft. Legitimately might be the worst match in wrestling since the Pitch Black gimmick in January. [DUD]

D Block: KENTA [2] vs. Will Ospreay [2]

Their only prior match was at the G1 29 (***¾). If this was current William against 2006 KENTA, it would’ve been incredible. Unfortunately, he’s more kenta than he is KENTA these days. He jumped Billy as he entered the ring and then mocked him by stealing his jacket. Classic heel move. He remained in control for a good chunk of this by throwing Will around the bleachers and using the guardrails. Will couldn’t get any sustained going. After the GTS, things picked up but did hit something of a wall after a ref bump led to use of a kendo stick. I don’t think the match needed that. I know the BC are heels but once in a while, a straight-up fight is nice. Will finally got going late and own with Storm Breaker at 14:02. The KENTA heat segment went on a bit too long, especially with the weapons but this was otherwise good. [***¼]

C Block: Kaito Kiyomiya [4] vs. Shota Umino [1]

A first time meeting here that started with a feeling out process. It wasn’t a dull one though as you got the sense they were really trying to figure the other guy out while also proving who was tougher and not wanting to back down. It also got boosted by the crowd being hot for Shota as they reacted to everything he did and hung on it all. Kaito attacked the leg and Shota’s selling of it was inconsistent early on. It got better as this progressed but wasn’t great. That was my only real problem with the first two-thirds of this as the exchanges were good, the work was well done by Kaito, and this mostly worked for what it was. Then we ran into the big problem with about 5 minutes left. This had the same sense of urgency at 15 minutes as it did in the final minute. Kaito had Shota beaten in a Figure Four and commentary was like “there’s no way Shota can survive another three minutes in the move.” But then Kaito just let him go. That’s SANADA levels of dumb. Shota came close after that but time expired following a near fall. With a better, more sensible final three minutes, this would’ve probably been the match of the tournament. Instead, it remains a very good outing and one of the better bouts of this G1. [***¾]

D Block: Kazuchika Okada [4] vs. Taichi [4]

I’ve seen them at the G1 20 (**¾), New Beginning in Sapporo 2020 (**¾), G1 31 (***¼), and New Japan Cup 2022 (***¼). Could this be their first great match? Commentary put over the story of them as Young Lions and Okada being the top guy who has beaten Taichi every time since they graduated. Okada was a dick here and again, that’s when he works best. He toyed with Taichi and didn’t take him seriously, as well as busting out a spinning Tombstone and Rainmaker early. Taichi got fed up with being played with and got going, which is when this really kicked into the next gear. Taichi shut Okada up and gave him back some of the beating he was dishing out first. When he countered the Rainmaker into a Backdrop Driver, I popped and then he proceeded to just drop Okada on his head with another one. Taichi nearly pulled off this upset several times down the stretch and you got the sense that he had Okada’s number. In fact, there was one near fall where I legitimately believed Okada lost. But in the end, Okada countered Black Mephisto into a pin to win in 16:20. Easy match of the tournament. They gave me my favorite version of Okada, a great performance by Taichi, added high drama, and it didn’t go too long. [****½]

C Block: SANADA [4] vs. Yota Tsuji [1]

Obviously they had the main event at Dominion (***½). At this point in the night, I’m running out of time so though I watched this match, this write up will be short. This felt a lot like the Dominion outing. Tsuji exudes a level of star power only a few matches in that SANADA has never been able to match. The main difference between this match and their first was that Tsuji focused less on hitting that crucial Spear, meaning he had more well-rounded offense. The first half or so of this match was alright with the high points being any Tsuji bursts before the final few minutes really kicked things into gear. Just the way Gedo likes it. The way Tsuji cartwheeled away from Deadfall was fantastic but alas, the champion hit it successfully soon after to win in 18:36. I must say, the booking of Tsuji has been odd so far. He has star power but he’s 0-3-1 since returning so theoretically, why should anyone take him seriously? This was a good main event though. [***½]

8.0

The final score: review Very Good

The 411

If it wasn’t for that horrendous Owens/Hikuleo match, this would’ve been a fantastic show. Everything else cracked three stars besides the opener and you get three really good matches to end things, including a fantastic Okada/Taichi match that you need to see. This is more like the G1 I’m hoping to see.