Raw Retrospective: Monday Night Raw 09.27.93

WWF RAW Episode Thirty-Three
September 27, 1993
LIVE from New Haven, CT
Hosts: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage and Bobby Heenan

Jack Tunney announces that Intercontinental Champion Shawn Michaels has failed to fulfill his contractual duties and has been suspended indefinitely. The new champion will be decided by a battle royale, with the final two men meeting the following week for the title. This was the failed drug test that Michaels denies, for those keeping score at home.

The announcers put over the Quebecer’s title defense, Snuka’s return and Borga’s RAW debut. Well, one out of three ain’t bad. With them out of the Manhattan Center the crowds are much larger and louder, making the show a lot better.

Tatanka Vs Rick Martel
Savage calls this a “main event anywhere in the world.” I know wrestling wasn’t at its peak in 1993, but, really? They do a bit of wrestling before Martel decides jumping jacks would help him win the match. Tatanka works the arm until Martel smashes him in the turnbuckle. He goes for a boot but gets caught and nailed with an atomic drop and a clothesline over the rope. Martel yells at the camera, prompting Savage to say in his most bored voice possible, “Staaalling.” Tatanka takes the bait and chases Martel, which leads to him getting caught with some boots back in the ring. Tatanka goes for a springboard body press but slipped and ruined the whole spot. Martel hits a backdrop and stomps away until we go to break. Tatanka ducks a clothesline and gets two from a sunset flip when we come back. Martel gets up first and applies the abdominal stretch in the center of the ring. Tatanka fights out but misses a blind charge in the turnbuckle. Maybe people should quit going for the blind charge as it rarely works. Martel attempts a springboard splash but only gets knees. Tatanka hits a crossbody for two, but Martel makes a huge mistake by smashing Tatanka’s face in the turnbuckle. A pair of Tomahawk chops and a third from the top one gets the crowd going, but Martel sidesteps him and sends him outside. They brawl on the outside, leading to the double counout at 10:45. * Nothing match with a bullshit ending, wasting 11 minutes of my life.
Winner: Double count out

The participants for the 20-man battle royale are announced. For those curious, it’s IRS, Randy Savage, Adam Bomb, Giant Gonzalez, Mr. Perfect, Owen Hart, Rick Martel, Jimmy Snuka (one night only, eh?), Bob Backlund, Pierre, Jacques, Razor Ramon, Mabel, Diesel (windbreaker and all), MVP, 123 Kid, Bigelow, Marty Jannetty, Tatanka, and Bastion Booger.

Ludvig Borga Vs Phil Apollo
Borga’s music does nothing to suggest that he is evil, or even intimidating. As soon as he enters the ring he attacks Apollo and hits a clothesline. Sidewalk slam and a spinebuster take Apollo out, but Borga isn’t done! He clotheslines him on the floor and points out the one fan who brought a sign in support of him. Stalling suplex, body slam and an elbow drop leads to…taunting. Damnit, just end this. Borga applies the Torture Rack to end things at 3:17. DUD. Borga is just awful and this match did nothing to change my mind about that.
Winner: Ludvig Borga

Jimmy Snuka Vs Paul Van Dale
Poor Snuka…barely gets a pop for his entrance. Van Dale tries to attack before the bell but is apparently too stoned to do anything. Snuka hits the bodyslam and a chop sends Van Dale down. Heenan is on the phone with Crush, which I’m glad because this match is 45 seconds in and I’m bored. Crush wasn’t invited to the battle royale, and wants to know what’s going on. Heenan brings up Savage being in the battle royal, stirring the pot. Back to the “match,” Snuka has been chopping Dale and hits a piledriver. Crush is pissed he’s not in the battle royale and feels as though Savage has turned his back on him. Savage wants to talk things out, so he hangs up. Van Dale sends Snuka down but, get this, is chopped down. Snuka finishes things with the slingshot suplex and the Superfly Splash for three at 4:40. -* God, that was awful even by squash standards, though the splash looked good.
Winner: Jimmy Snuka

We go back to last week where Ramon caused IRS to lose to PJ Walker in the main event of RAW. IRS is in the back with two ladies, doing some taxes I presume. Ramon made a big mistake sticking his nose in IRS’ business, so IRS threatens an audit. Why hasn’t this man been a special guest on The Office?

WWF Tag Team Championships: The Quebecers(c) Vs The 123 Kid and Barry Horowitz953
For some reason, Barry Horowitz is in the ring with Heenan. Reno Riggins is home sick with the flu, which makes him look like a bitch as Heenan went to work with the flu last week. He asks for a substitute, and they decide that 123 Kid is an acceptable replacement. Vince is upset that the Quebecers aren’t facing a “top 10 tag team.” As if they had a ranking system to begin with. Kid sends Jacques down with a kick, which he brushes off as dumb luck. A couple more kicks causes Pierre to run in, so Horowitz gets in and they send the champs out of the ring. Jacques wants a handshake, but it proves only to be a distraction so Pierre can attack from behind. He gets the tag and they hit a clothesline/side Russian double team. Pierre hits a STIFF bodyslam before he tags out and trades slams on top of Kid. Pierre tags back in so they can drop him on the top rope, and then tags out so they can do it again. Jacques misses a springboard crossbody and gets sent to the outside with another kick. Polo freaks out as he realizes Jacques is knocked out. A bunch of refs come out with a stretcher when the Fink announces that the match must continue, even with Jacques being knocked out. Pierre hits a top rope leg drop on Horowitz when we come back from commercial break for two. A diving headbutt looks to end it, but Pierre bodyslams Horowitz right to the Kid. While this typically is a positive, getting to tag in a fresher man and all, it doesn’t seem to matter as he gets taken out with a flapjack and a clothesline. The Kid fights back with a series of strikes and nearly knocks him out before missing a spinkick and landing on the floor. Polo tosses him back into the ring and Pierre covers him for the three at 9:53. **Fun match, even if it was odd stacking the deck against the heels. The Kid looked really good though as he got nearly every bit of offense on his team.
Winners and STILL Tag Team Champions: The Quebecers

Razor Ramon comes out to speak about the battle royale with Vince, Savage and Heenan ringside. He tells IRS he’s easy to find, as well as more handsome than ten movie stars. I don’t know if that’s combined or just ten random movie stars. Savage says he respects Ramon, but he wants the championship just as much as he does.

The 411: Once again, the Quebecers are involved with the best part of the show this week, though not even they could salvage the rest of this bore fest. The crowd helped things out a bit, but the Borga and Snuka matches were just terrible and felt way longer than they actually were, and the opening match had a terrible ending. You’re not missing match if you skip out on this show.
Final Score:  5.0   [ Not So Good ]