Ring Crew Reviews: WWE Night of Champions 2010

• Relevant Storylines: Punk is looking to move back to Chicago and start a huge fire. Jericho is putting his career on the line and is therefore really confident about his chances. The tag champ match has champs you haven’t heard of, twins you can’t tell apart, and other teams that have only been together a month. And The Viper looks to climb the mountaintop one more time.

• Scheduled Card
1. WWE Intercontinental Championship: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler (c).
2. CM Punk vs. Big Show.
3. WWE United States Championship: Bryan Danielson vs. The Miz (c).
4. Lumberjills Match to Unify WWE Diva’s and Women’s Championships: Michelle McCool vs. Melina.
5. No Holds Barred Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: The Undertaker vs. Kane (c).
6. Tag Team Turmoil for the WWE Tag Team Championship: The Usos vs. Santino and Koslov vs. Mark Henry and Evan Bourne vs. Drew McIntyre and Cody Rhodes vs. The Hart Dynasty (c).
7. Six Pack Challenge Match for the WWE Championship: John Cena vs. Edge vs. Chris Jericho vs. Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton vs. Sheamus (c).

• Video package talks about all the champs defending and has a nonspecific VO until it starts talking about Sheamus and his reduced odds in the 6 pack challenge of retaining. Then, we shift into Kane and his heel turn on UT. “Tonight, we’ll see if blood is thicker than gold.”

• WWE Intercontinental Championship: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler (c). Belt can change hands on countout or DQ because Vickie has been helping him retain. EXCUSE ME! Here comes Vickie to introduce her man slave, Dolph Ziggler. They go through the headlock/headscissors sequence a couple times. Kofi goes for the Trouble in Paradise but Dolph begs off. Dolph boots him a couple times and tries a shitcan but Kofi blocks with his forehead and instead clotheslines Dolph out. Vickie pampers Dolph and then sends her NXT rookie Kaitlyn and her boobs to the back. Dolph finally realizes what’s going on and slides in to beat the count. Kofi uses the distraction to get a roll up for 2. He hits the double chops on Dolph and a dropkick and tries the jump up to the top rope but slips. King, Cole and Striker argue about whether Vickie is hot as I search for the mute button. Dolph seizes the opportunity with a neckbreaker for 2 and goes to a Steiner Recliner. Dolph stays on the hold for about a minute as the match grinds to a halt. IS VICKIE HOT?! AMERICA HAS TO KNOW! Kofi elbows free and gets a flying burrito but runs into a boot for 2. Dolph drops an elbow for 2 and now goes to ANOTHER CHINLOCK. 40% of this match has been chinlocks so far. Dolph with the flip neck whip for 2. Dolph hits the Rocker Dropper and gets a slow roll up for 2. Seriously? More chinlock already? Striker: “Dolph Ziggler is the future. He is the 21st century superstar… This is different from what your parents grew up watching.” The symbolic timing for that statement couldn’t have been any worse. Dolph runs his hands through his hair and then whips the Soul Glo on Kofi for 2. MOARSTEINERRECLINER! Dolph sells a gutshot like he’s Flair falling in thumbtacks. Kofi comes back with a flurry of right hands but the ref pulls him away. That allows Dolph to avoid a charge but he still eats Kofi’s apron kick. Kofi with a crossbody off the top for 2. Kofi with some chops and a Bluechipper dropkick for 2. Kofi with the Thesz press and some rights now. He hits the Boom Drop and calls for the Trouble in Paradise. Dolph ducks and goes to the Sleeper. Kofi escapes and hits the Ranhei. He covers but Dolph gets his feet on the ropes. Boos for that from the crowd as Dolph rolls to the floor to regroup. Kofi follows with a plancha off the apron. Ref starts his count but Kofi slides him in for a 2. Kofi wants another Ranhei but Dolph slips out and puts on the Sleeper. Kofi struggles for a while and teases a passout. He manages to break the hold and go to his own Sleeper. Dolph runs him into the ropes and distracts the ref. Vickie goes for the waffle but Dolph calls her off. Vickie: “WELL DO SOMETHING!” Dolph ducks the TIP for the 3rd time and Kofi falls into the ropes. Dolph with the Zig Zag to retain at 12:42. Do you buy a slew of chinlocks as psychology and storytelling for a sleeper? Even if so, it’s hard not to call 3 of them inside of a 5 minute period boring as shit. Look, the WWE has a whole slew of athletic midcarders (so does TNA, ROH, PWG, etc. for that matter) and if you put them in the ring together, just through sheer energy they’ll come up with a watchable match. But at times they have no idea what to do outside of their high spots and signature moves and it drags down the match. **1/4

• CM Punk vs. Big Show. Punk gets the stick and the crowd chants for him because we’re in Chicago. See, Punk loves Chicago in all of its glory. Cheap pop! But he hates the…INHABITANTS OF CHICAGO! BOOOO! These middle class lazy teamsters and corrupt police officers have ruined his town. Punk: “YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK! I’m proud to live here, I’m proud to be from here, but I am not proud to live amongst people like you. You are the scum of the earth! You have ruined a beautiful city that should for a second time be BURNED TO THE GROUND!” Punk then says he’ll beat Show with the power of Straight Edge.

• Punk tries to chop him down to start but eats an headbutt and a gutshot. Punk avoids a clothesline and hits a dropkick. Show chokes in the corner with the boot and hits some chops that send Punk to the floor. Punk with a weak dropkick off the apron and follows it up with a knee. Back in, Punk hits a SLINGSHOT SENTON TO THE FLOOR! Punk with some kicks and an elbow off the second rope for 1. Show tries to come back with some shots to the gut but Punk gets a standing enzuigiri and covers for 2. Punk tries another springboard but jumps into a Pounce from Show. Show hits him with the KO punch and wins it easy at 4:13. I was beginning to wonder why Punk was controlling the match and it was just set up for him to be beat with one move. * for the opening promo.

• Meanwhile, Matthews is in the back with Chris Jericho. Jericho is all smiles because he was put in the 6 pack challenge. He says he has good odds in matches like this. He beat Rock and Austin the same night, ya know. He also won a scramble match (which SERIOUSLY needs to be brought back) and an elimination chamber and left both times as champion. I also have a vague inkling that Jericho said in a promo before this match on RAW that he would leave the business if he didn’t win the strap. Plus, he would be leaving soon anyway even if the stip wasn’t technically built into the match, the intent was there.

• WWE United States Championship: Bryan Danielson vs. The Miz (c). The package for this is about Danielson lacking charisma and feuding with Miz all while going on a huge losing streak on NXT. Miz avoids a lockup to start and gets the ropes. Miz gets a shoulderblock. They trade hiptoss blocks and Danielson goes for the Fujiwara TD and Miz bails. Miz slides back in but runs into an armdrag. Miz with a running kick to the chest but Miz hangs him out to dry on the apron by the arm. Miz hammerlocks Danielson into the ringpost a few times. Striker takes potshots at Cole for drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon and having to look up on the internet who Gene Labell and Farmer Burns are. Miz with a back suplex for 2. Miz with a double chicken wing. Danielson looks to escape but Miz spins him back around into it and stays on the arms. Danielson spins him around to counter for a nice backslide for 2 but Miz with a Batista kick to cut him off. Miz now uses the ropes to get leverage on the hammerlock and Riley adds some wrenching behind the ref’s back. Danielson flips out of a hammerlock but Miz hits a shoulderbreaker for 2. Striker wishes Arn Anderson a happy birthday and says he belongs in the HoF. Miz whips the arm down and covers for 2. Danielson elbows out but Miz boots him in the arm to come back(!). Danielson shitcans him to avoid a charge and then follows out with a suicie dive. Danielson still selling the shoulder heads up top and hits a missile dropkick for 2. Danielson with a DR FG for 2. Danielson tries a half crab but Miz boots the arm. Danielson with a yakuza kick for 2. They slug it out and Danielson still sells the bad arm. He drives Miz into the corner and hits a few kicks. Danielson with a DR FG ENZUIGIRI! Miz kicks out at 2. Danielson puts him up top but Miz crotches him and hits the Nigel LARIATO off the top for 2. That had to be Danielson’s idea. This is great so far. Miz now with a Fujiwara armbar on Danielson but he gets the ropes. Miz goes for the SCF but Danielson rolls him up for 2. Danielson gets the armbar TD but Riley jumps on the apron. Miz goes for a cheapshot but Danielson moves and Riley eats it. Danielson with a roll up for 1, 2, –ONLY 2! Whole place bought that as a finish. Miz buys some time by dumping him. Danielson tosses Riley into the ringpost. Miz with a small package for 2. Miz goes to the GnP but the ref pulls him away. Miz goes back to it and the ref gives him a STERN warning. Danielson uses the opportunity to put Miz in the Labell Lock. Miz struggles but has to tap at 12:30 to a huge pop. Great match all around. The arm psychology is spot on by Miz especially with the great use of the hammerlock assisted moves. Danielson’s selling is great as well. Just wonderful stuff. ***3/4

• Meanwhile, Cena says his chances to win the title match tonight are pretty good.

• Lumberjills Match to Unify WWE Diva’s and Women’s Championships: Michelle McCool vs. Melina. Layla’s a bit pissed that she’s not in the match tonight and instead is at ringside. McCool tries the cheap shot on the split but Melina raises up to let her baseball slide through. Clever. Lock up goes nowhere. They tumble on the floor together and McCool decides to break and smack one of the jills. Back in, Melina with a hair toss and a kick out of a tiltawhirl. Melina with a forearm and a slow charge in the corner only to set McCool up in the ropes for no particular reason. McCool pulls her to the floor to escape. Back in, McCool with a Throwback and covers for 1. More boots from McCool and she chokes. McCool goes to the headscissors to slow things down even more. McCool sets her up for the Styles Clash but Melina counters to an X-Factor. They botch a whip reversal and McCool covers with a belly to belly suplex for 2. Natayla tries pulling McCool to the floor. That distracts the ref and he misses a school girl. Delayed count gets 1. McCool rolls to the floor and gets jumped by the entire division. Back in, Melina with a flapjack and an ugly spinwheel kick. Melina with a Bossman attack and she does the Troll Yell. McCool avoids the power of the scream and sets her up top but they both fall to the floor. Again, the whole crew jumps McCool but lets Melina escape. Layla slides in and tries to attack Melina behind the ref’s back. McCool in the confusion comes in and hits the big boot and wins it at 6:47. 1/2* for McCool getting beatdown a couple of times.

• Meanwhile, Barrett is in the back with Grisham. Barrett says his opponents tonight, no doubt, represent greatness but they also represent the status quo. He’s going to change things because he feels the tide has turned in his favor and tonight he will win the WWE Championship.

• No Holds Barred Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: The Undertaker vs. Kane (c). The package for this makes this seem like the feud has been 13 years in the making. UT says that Kane is a monster but the whole thing is based on lies, lies that make Kane think he can walk out from UT’s shadow. For some reason, the video focuses a lot on the unmasking which had nothing to do with this but c’est la vie. Still, solid if you can get past the continuity gaps. Cole says that this particular entrance is the “most bone chilling in WWE history.” How exactly does one evaluate which of UT’s entrance chilled more bones? There’s got to be a sabermetric for that. King: “You know what this feels like? Imagine walking by yourself in a cemetery at night. Owww.” Cole butchers his way through trying to say “psychological advantage” like he’s Scott Steiner on quaaludes. Good times.

• UT jumps Kane in the aisle and they brawl up to the stage. UT sends Kane into the Parthenon portion of the stage as he collides with a column. Holy shit. Kane goes for a boot but botches it and falls down hilariously. Kane clips the knee and hits some rights. UT chokes to come back and hits the soupbones. UT goes to the BLATANTCHOKE! Kane no sells and Batista kicks him down the ramp a couple times. More generic brawling as Striker says this feud will determine who is Satan’s right hand man. Kane sends UT into the stairs and again. We’re 5 minutes in and outside of the Ionic column shot this has been shit. Kane sends him into the ringpost and gets the strap. Kane waffles him and then boots him. King says this is like Freddy vs Jason, except, ya know, real life and Cole namedrops See No Evil. Kane covers for 2 and then chokes more. Kane with a couple of Ho Trains in the corner and UT is toast. Cover gets 2. Cole and King are in MAJOR sell the story, not the match mode because this is slow and plodding. Kane with more right hands and into the announce table. Kane waffles UT with the awning of the table. UT reverses with a weak stair shot. Now, UT sensing gimmick infringment puts Kane on the apron IN THE EXACT SAME WAY Kane was going a minute or so ago. UT hits the apron leg drop and Kane no sells. UT clotheslines him into the crowd. UT then springboards into him with a splash. That was decent. Kane gets a chair and hits UT in the ribs with it. Kane with a headbutt as punch drunk UT stumbles into the crowd. UT with a punch. UT: “BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!” I don’t know why but that sound effect killed me. Kane wins the slugfest and then gives him the testicular charge into a barricade. Kane now “springboards” in with a right if you want to be generous. Back in, UT with more rights and boots. Kane: “GIVE IT UP, BIG BROTHER!” Cole questions if they should stop the match. Kane punches him more as UT sort of posts up in the corner and leans to one side to sell. UT fights back with haymakers and Kane goes to the throat thrusts. UT ducks a shit and gets a clothesline to come back. Kane no sells and gets to his feet first. UT now with a Ho Train and more rights. UT with Snake Eyes and the Liu Kang kick. He leg drops for 2. UT with a ChokeSlam. UT wants the Tombstone but Kane counters to his own. Cover gets the 3 at 18:30. Much like their HIAC match from last year, this is just slow as hell. I know these guys are the main and pretty much by contract get 15+ for matches and 15+ for entrances but they should have lopped off a good 5 minutes from the heat and just had Kane end it faster. *3/4

• Post-match, they give UT the slow clap tribute and the announcers ponder whether this is it for UT. King: “I think Undertaker’s powers have been completely zapped.”

• Meanwhile, Grisham wonders if Orton has thoughts on tonight’s match. He stares menacingly for a minute or so then pierces out with a, “No.” I liked that. Sometimes less is more.

• Tag Team Turmoil for the WWE Tag Team Championship: The Usos vs. Santino and Koslov vs. Mark Henry and Evan Bourne vs. Drew McIntyre and Cody Rhodes vs. The Hart Dynasty (c). Striker tosses Cole a softball about hyping the tag champs “in case the audience hasn’t see them before.” The mere fact that you could have a portion of your regular audience who have no idea who your tag champs are and this needs to be acknowledged on PPV is pretty telling.

• Tyson with an armdrag and a roll up for 2. Cole and Striker admit they can’t tell the Usos apart after one of them got a haircut. Jimmy stomps in the corner but whiffs on a charge. DH in with kicks and a clothesline. Jimmy runs into a belly to belly suplex. DH goes for the Sharpshooter but Jey pulls Jimmy out. Tyson with a quebrada TO THE FLOOR! Back in, cover gets 2. Cole now talks up Kidd’s “great personality” and his practical jokes in the locker room. Kidd now wants the Sharpshooter but one of the Usos breaks it up with a Batista kick. The other Uso covers and The Harts are out at 2:10.

• Santino out next and goes through his stuff and hits a hiptoss and raises the roof. Santino with a headbutt. Koslov tosses the other Uso. Santino wants the Cobra but Tamina copies him on the apron. That’s enough for the Samoan drop and Santino and Koslov hit the showers at 3:16.

• The pop for Henry and Sydal is pretty loud. Sydal in with kicks and a standing rana but he runs into a back elbow. The Uso whiffs on a Stinger Splash. Henry in with clotheslines and tosses one of them off the apron. Henry with the World’s Strongest Slam. He tags in Bourne and he hits the SSP and they advance at 5:09.

• Drew runs in with the CLUBBINGBLOWS! He stomps a mudhole until the ref pulls him away. Cody in to a mild pop despite being full on heel. Cody with a vertical suplex. Drew back in for more boots and a clothesline for 2. He goes to a Chicken Wing. Sydal armdrags through but Rhodes cuts off the ring. Drew back in and hits a gutbuster as Striker pays them a back-handed compliment by mentioning how cohesive both of them are despite being together only a month. Bourne tries fighting back but runs into an elbow. Drew sends him to the floor so Cody can do some damage in front of the ref. Drew goes to the Camel Clutch. Bourne elbows out and counters a suplex with knees. Bourne makes the tag to Henry. Cody bumps before he even hits him and King points it out. Nice. Henry clears house and hits a Ho Train and press slam on Rhodes. He calls for an SSP for Bourne of course. They tease doing it off Mark’s shoulders but Drew breaks it up. Evan with a spinkick on Drew but he eats Crossroads and Cody pins him to make new champs at 11:40. Eh. They essentially jobbed out the entire division in under 5 minutes a piece. I don’t have a problem with the ending but the match suffers from the whole division being an afterthought. **

• Next up, Del Rio vignette. He is not bound by limitations or being mentally constipated or imprisoned by insecurities.

• Six Pack Challenge Match for the WWE Championship: John Cena vs. Edge vs. Chris Jericho vs. Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton vs. Sheamus (c). Elimination rules. The package for this includes footage of HBK, Pedro Morales, Backlund, Hogan, Eddie, and Stone Cold each winning their first championships. Andre is included even though his reign was not exactly prestigious considering he only held it for a couple minutes at the most. They have a female narrator doing the VO and there’s a touch of Galadriel doing the prologue to FOTR for this whole thing except rather than a ring she’s talking about the perils of winning the belt. One thing I’ve said in several reviews is that matches like this work best when everyone has a reason for being in the match and a compelling justification for being champ and such is the case here. Sheamus is the champ and a force to be reckoned with. He was one of the only guys able to stand by himself against Nexus because they mainly left him alone storyline wise. Jericho put his career on the line and he and Edge both had been playing up their veteran status and getting back to being unpredictable including trying to unveil the mystery GM and sort of turning on the WWE at SS against Nexus. Barrett is head of Nexus and still has some storyline credibility. Orton was in the middle of his Stone Cole push including giving RKOs to everyone and a midair Evan Bourne and Cena is Cena and always a threat to win the belt. During the intros, everyone gets a respectable ovation including the full-on heels Jericho and Barrett. Orton gets the biggest pop and Sheamus gets the biggest boos. Took about 12 minutes for all the entrances, intros and videos.

• Brawl to start. Barrett gets sent into the ringpost. Sheamus pulls Orton to the floor but Orton sends him into the barricade. Edge tumbles out as well. Cena with a clothesline on Orton but Jericho sneaks him and tries to score the pinfall. Cover gets 2. Jericho smacks around Orton but Cena is back in to stare him down. Jericho takes him into the corner but Cena comes back with a bulldog. Orton HITS THE RKO and covers and JERICHO’S OUT AT 1:29! WHOA! Wasn’t expecting that but I can dig the early surprise elimination when it’s done well, like this and Edge’s early exit from the first EC in 2009. The match basically stops for everyone to either gloat or gawk or stare in amazement at Jericho’s early exit. I actually hear a “Y2J” chant which is quite the compliment for Jericho. Even in his exit, they love him.

• Now the entire ring circles Barrett and Cole nicely notes that he’s on the other side of the numbers game now. They all jump him and clothesline him to the floor. Cena and Orton clear out Sheamus and Edge. They go eye to eye and the reaction here is not the Hogan-Warrior, Hogan-Andre, Rock-Austin stuff they want but it’s still much better than the indifference such a staredown was met with at RR 2011. ANYWAY, the heels barnstorm back in and beat them down. Barrett, Sheamus and Edge now go head to head and Edge and Sheamus jump him because they don’t like Nexus. Cena and Orton recover to dump them out again. Again, they go face to face and the crowd is definitely into it but not going apeshit. Orton tries the RKO but Cena shoves him off and goes for the STF. Orton kicks him away and wants the apron DDT. Cena escapes out and picks him up for the FU. Orton escapes that and wants a suplex off the apron. No go but Edge joins him. Barrett breaks up the double suplex attempt but Sheamus clotheslines him down. Frenetic action in here. Good stuff. Sheamus slides in and covers Cena for 2. Sheamus pounds down Cena and rolls to the floor to put the boots to everyone. He sends Orton into the barricade for payback for earlier. Back in, Sheamus taunts to boos. Sheamus misses on a knee and Cena comes back but runs into an elbow in the corner. Sheamus puts Cena up top and taunts again. He wants the Razor’s Edge but Cena fights back. Edge recovers to crotch Cena and Cena hurts the leg on the way down. Sheamus and Edge now double team Cena. They prep and hit a double superplex. Cover gets 2 but Sheamus breaks it up. Edge and Sheamus regroup to send Barrett into the barricade. Orton comes to life. They slide him in for more heel double teaming. Sheamus works over Orton while Edge makes a lap and beatdowns the others ringside. Edge back in and Sheamus whips him into Orton in the corner for the pseudo-Spear. Crowd is kinda dead for this portion. They try the whip again but Orton comes back with clotheslines and a powerslam. Sheamus cuts him down again with a clothesline and then knocks Barrett off the apron. Edge with an Edge-o-matic on Sheamus and wants the Spear. Sheamus avoids and gets the half nelson backbreaker. Sheamus goes for the pump kick but misses and eats a SPEAR! Orton is in! He wants an RKO but Edge shoves him into Cena waiting for an FU! Orton slides out but gets shoved into A SPEAR! Cena with an FU on Edge! Edge is out at 14:59.

• Barrett now puts the boots to Cena. Barrett with some jabs and he taunts. He wants Wasteland but Cena slides out and wants the FU. Barrett slides out and hits a DDT for 2. Barrett goes back to the rights but Cena avoids and hits the shoulderblocks. Cena with a Protobomb and the 5KS. He wants the FU again but Barrett avoids. Sheamus in but Cena shoves him into Barrett. Cena with the drop toe hold and applies the STF! Cena drags him back to the middle. Sheamus close to tapping! BUT MAKES THE ROPES! OOO, thought that was it for Sheamus. NEXUS HAS COME OUT! Cena fights them off but Barrett sneaks him and hits WASTELAND! COVER GETS 1, 2, 3 AND CENA IS OUT AT 18:32!

• Nexus stops to gloat and then slides in Orton. Cole reminds us that DQ is not in effect for this match. Crowd boos all of this but now try to get behind Orton. Barrett smiles at his good fortune. Nexus gets on the apron but Cena has a chair! He clears them off and Orton hits a couple of RKOs. Barrett wants the Wasteland! Orton slides out and hits the neck/backbreaker. He preps the RKO and hits it and covers Barrett is out at 20:33.

• Sheamus is in. He hits the pump kick! Cover gets 1, 2, 2.999! I thought that was it live. Sheamus preps the Razor’s Edge but Orton escapes! RKO! Orton covers and wins it at 21:27! The pop for Orton’s win is pretty awesome and seems genuine exuberance from Orton and the crowd. Really good, effective multi-man match. It’s strange how seeing Cena eat a pinfall with in a match like this to Barrett feels surreal because you just knew he was going to come out on top. The section with Sheamus and Edge working together is a bit plodding especially given the high energy and beautiful transitions in the rest of the match but there’s so much good here. ****

The 411: Two matches hovering around the four star to borderline MOTYC contender but everything else is middle of the road even if not abysmal. I'll err on the side of checking it out for the two very good US and WWE title matches.
Final Score:  6.5   [ Average ]