Stew’s WWE SummerSlam 2024 Review

It’s time for SummerSlam 2024, just a few hours away from my backyard. But here’s the thing: we don’t go to Cleveland because it’s Cleveland.

Boom! Weird Pittsburgh loyalty in the dissing of Cleveland. I’m just kidding, Cleveland. You have a great amusement park.

There are at least two different signs in the SummerSlam pre-show crowd that say “Drew McIntyre Eats Corn The Long Way”, and is that a meme I am unaware of? Did I miss a promo where this became a thing? Someone explain this to me. I feel incredibly lost on this homoerotic diss of Drew.

While we are at it, there is also a pre-show trailer for Alien: Romulus. How are we feeling about this movie, folks? Excited? Kind of tired of Alien movies? What’s the general sentiment on this? I’m going to see it, that’s for sure; but I have the AMC A-List, and I see basically everything. But I’m also not SUPER pumped for Romulus. I have not liked an Alien franchise movie all that much since Aliens, and there have been a lot of bad ones since then. Could this be the turning point? Here’s hoping!

While I wait for your words on that, let’s get into the show notes!

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6:37pm: It sounds like we are starting off SummerSlam with Liv Morgan vs Rhea Ripley. Here’s my prediction / fantasy booking for this one to get it on the record: I think Dominik Mysterio ACCIDENTALLY costs Rhea Ripley the match tonight. But not intentionally. He either gets Rhea disqualified or does whatever needs to happen to get Liv to leave the match the match with the title.

This leads to a few weeks before the next PLE with Liv deciding Dom DOES love her, so she goes back to trying to woo him. This drives a further wedge between Rhea and Dom, who spend the next month bickering, with Dom trying to prove his loyalty to Rhea and her not really buying it.

Then at the NEXT PLE event, they do a Dom In A Shark Cage match or what-the-heck-ever between Liv and Rhea. And at that match, Dom INTENTIONALLY helps Liv retain over Rhea, fully solidifying his move to Liv’s side of things.

The biggest problem here is it kind of foregoes the Finn Balor stuff they have been sprinkling in, but I’m not sure what all you do with that besides, what, have Dom go babyface to stay with Rhea and do Dom/Rhea vs Finn/Liv? And Dom as a face just seems… weird!

6:51pm: The second best story going into SummerSlam is that between CM Punk, Drew McIntyre, and Seth Rollins, and they are doing a CM Punk interview with Michael Cole, followed by a short promo by Drew McIntyre. I love the addition of Seth Rollins to this outing because it adds a lot of intrigue. Without Seth, this would be a great match with an easily predictable winner (Drew). With Seth, I am incredibly whetted for this one, because I direly want to know what he is going to do to impact this match and the next several WWE PLEs that will likely feature some combination of these three men. This affair, as strange as it might be to say after the last few months, is just getting started between these three.

6:58pm: So the Cody Rhodes vs Solo Sikoa match is Bloodline rules AND main eventing, which means… Roman is returning, right? You simply can’t have this bout main event over Drew/Punk unless The True Head Of The Table is returning. MORE INTRIGUE. This should be a great card!

7:02pm: Triple-H opens the show and soaks in the cheers. He asks if Cleveland is ready. Then he… introduces Jelly Roll, who just sang “God Bless America”. Jelly starts singing another song. HURRY UP, GUY. I want to see what happens between Liv and Rhea! I have no patience for this!

7:07pm: Okay, Jelly is done singing, and we move on to The Miz live in the crowd. THIS SHOW IS STALLING. But he tells us it starts right NOW, and we cut to Rhea Ripley’s entrance. She comes to the ring with Dom in tow. Rhea singing along to her music during her ring entrance remains one of the more endearing things about her.

7:10pm: REF CAM! Why is this a thing we need? Maybe so we can see what the referees see when wrestlers forget to kick out or they count a pin while someone’s shoulder is a foot off the mat.

7:19pm: After Rhea dominated the first several minutes of the contest, Liv FINALLY gets on the offensive by ramming the injured shoulder into the ring post. Now we have a match! Rhea cries out that “it’s out!”, but refuses to let the referee stop the match.

7:21pm: Hmmmm. Dueling “Let’s Go Rhea” / “Let’s Go Liv” chant. Didn’t expect to hear so much support for Liv!

7:23pm: Rhea blasts her shoulder back into place using the announce table, then she is back on the attack!

7:30pm: Liv wins with interference from Dom just moments after it looked like I was going to be right about her winning due to accidental help from him. But they end up doing the full turn right here tonight, instead. Dom places a chair for Liv, allows her to hit ObLivion onto it, then kisses Liv and leaves with her.

To me? This is less interesting than what I predicted because I thought there was plenty of mileage left on the “will they or won’t they?” story, but this is fine, too. It keeps Dom as a heel. And we can move straight into what is going to happen within Judgment Day and where Finn fits in in all of this…

7:39pm: After a commercial break, we see Judgment Day being not best pleased with Dom’s actions, but also not knowing where he is. Priest thinks that Finn knew about all of this, but Finn vows that he did not. Finn, JD, and Carlito head out to find Dominik.

7:40pm: Time for Bron Breakker vs Sami Zayn. This could get messy for Sami, but also clear him up for a Bloodline feud!

I noted on the Prediction Show I guest starred on that Bron losing to Sami clean was actually a pretty good call last month because it stops Bron from being one of those “winning streak” guys that maybe has nowhere left to go after suffering his first loss well until his career. He got a main roster L out of the way, and now that won’t be the book on him.

7:49pm: After a quick, back-and-forth sprint, Bron Breakker wins after two Spears. I did predict this would be the shortest match on the card. But it was about as good as an 8 minute match gets. Both of these guys are talented entertainers.

7:52pm: There is a movie coming to Amazon Prime starring John Cena AND Awkwafina?! I’m in! Gotta remember to look for this when it comes out; it’s called Jackpot!.

I love Awakwafina. I will hear no slander against her.

7:56pm: Up next it the United States Title match between LA Knight (yes) and noted wannabe-expert on women’s boxing and genetics, Logan Paul.

8:00pm: Dr. Logan Paul, OB-GYN, hits the ring with buddy Machine Gun Kelly. Paul is wearing Cleveland Browns colors despite being the heel (I know he is from here, but still, most heels disavow their hometown).

8:06pm: During the pre-match brawl before the bell rings, LA Knight (yep) hits aTorture Rack hold into a neck breaker on the announce table! Wow! The table does not break, though.

8:08pm: Feminist Icon Logan Paul drives the shoulder of LA Knight (sure) into the ring post, making this the third straight match where someone was driven shoulder-first into that part of the ring. I didn’t put any money on that being the spot of the evening, but… here we are.

8:16pm: It’s supposed to be a Superplex, but LA Knight (oui) hits a top-rope Brainbuster!

8:19pm: LA Knight (uh-huh) gets the pinfall victory over IOC Judge Logan Paul, even though the latter’s foot was about a mile under the ropes, haha. But that’s not our story, so of course we ignore the hell out of it. Knight wins with the worst finishing move in WWE, the BFT, and I can’t fathom how he hasn’t started using another move in place of that.

8:24pm: An advertising segment sees Otis use a manscaper tool to shave his belly. He’s getting massive pops in the ring on Raw as fans desperately want to see him get his hands on Gable, but tonight… this is what he is reduced to.

8:29pm: It’s time for Nia Jax vs Bayley for the Women’s Title. I wonder who will get shot into the ring post first! On the aforementioned prediction show I was on, this is one of the two matches the host, Ian, and I disagreed on. I’m PROBABLY wrong, but I have Bayley winning. This title reign has been absolutely horrible, and it seems like it has not even started yet. It feels too soon to take the belt off of her. It also seems to make more sense to have heel Tiffy Stratton chase a babyface than her buddy.

8:38pm: When did EVERY SINGLE MATCH start getting a different personal sponsor? Every match tonight has had a different advertising theme, and this one is brought to us by something called Valorant. I am… not familiar with that, but it appears to be some sort of video game.

8:42pm: Bayley kicks out of the Annihilator! Wow! Nia goes right back on the attack and keeps kicking her ass for a bit.

8:43pm: NIA JAX GOES SHOULDER FIRST INTO THE RINGPOST.

That makes us four out of four on the evening. This is wild!

8:45pm: Bayley pulls Nia off the ropes, CARRIES HER ACROSS THE RING, and power bombs her! Wow! Hell of a spot.

As I type that, Tiffany Stratton’s music hits, and she charges the ring with a ref coming along with her. Bayley breaks up her cash-in, though. For all the good it does her, as Jax hits multiple power bombs and then multiple Annihilators to get the three-count. This was just a hair away from being an extended squash. Nia controlled a solid 80-90% of the match. What a waste of a title reign this was for poor Bayley. I kind of hate how little they gave her to work with after beating Iyo.

8:55pm: All right, here we go with Drew vs Punk. Seth “Reffin'” Rollins gets brought out first. Seth has Ref Cam, too!

9:00pm: This is just Drew McIntyre’s FOURTH SummerSlam match ever? I never would have guessed. He is currently 2-1, the on-screen graphic informs us.

9:04pm: “CM Punk Orders Boneless Wings” sign. WHAT AM I MISSING ABOUT THESE FOOD-BASED DISS SIGNS?!

9:14pm: Rollins is having a lot of fun and adding some solid glee to the affair. He’s chilling out on the ropes, refusing to count count outs. He almost lets Drew use a chair, but decides against it. They tease the HBK 1997 spot with Rollins almost clobbering Punk with the chair by accident.

9:20pm: Oh, I forgot, this match’s sponsor is C4 Energy Drinks. Seriously… have they been doing this for months, and I just haven’t noticed?

9:21pm: DREW MCINTYRE INTO THE RINGPOST.

Five

Out of

Five.

9:22pm: Punk is about to hit GTS on Drew when he realizes Rollins has put on the Larry & AJ friendship bracelet, haha! Punk and Seth have a face-off, with Drew knocking them into each other. This causes Seth to be late on Punk’s cover after a GTS. Punk GTS’es Rollins, allowing Drew to kick Punk low then hit the Claymore. Seth recovers enough to count the 3, and Drew gets his measure of revenge. He also recovers the friendship bracelet.

9:26pm: I adore how much of this match was about a chintzy little bracelet. Drew started with it. Punk took it off of him. Rollins put it on. Punk took it off of him and put it on. Then after the match, Drew gets it back. BraceletMania running wild!

9:29pm: Finn reports in to Priest that he can’t find Dom. Priest apologizes for blaming Balor. Damien Priest vs GUNTHER is next!

9:33pm: GUNTHER vs Priest is the second and only other match we disagreed on on the prediction show. So either Priest wins and I tie Ian on the night, or GUNTHER wins and I lose by two results, ugh.

9:47pm: After a chop/strike duel, GUNTHER ends up with a split open chest. Looks pretty bad-ass with blood running down his chest. Priest has been dominating the match to this point. Priest goes headfirst into the top off the ringpost to turn the tide, and I won’t count that one! The others were all specifically shoulder-to-the-post spots.

Don’t worry. I’m sure it’s coming.

9:49pm: GUNTHER kicks out of the South Of Heaven! The match continues.

9:52pm: Finn Balor emerges to clap support for Damien, despite the fact that Priest does not want him here. Priest seems okay with his presence, though.

9:53pm: GUNTHER wipes the blood from his chest onto his face, haha. He kicks Balor in the head, incurring the wrath of Damien, who LOWERS THE STRAPS.

9:55pm: After a Razor’s Edge and South Of Heaven, Balor puts GUNTHER’s foot on the rope. Damien sees it on the replay, and Finn makes an exaggerated evil guy face!

9:57pm: GUNTHER wins with a Sleeperhold, and I really need to go back into prognostication retirement apparently!

It appears as though Judgment Day is fully going to be a thing of the past after tonight. We’re going to get the long-awaited Priest/Balor feud now, and I have no idea where GUNTHER goes right away. Feels like the top of the Raw card is pretty well spoken for.

10:04pm: The attendance of the evening is 57,791 according to The Miz and R-Truth. They get cut off by A-Town Down Under. The segment goes on to see Jelly Roll hit Theory and Waller with a chair and then a choke slam.

10:14pm: This brings us to Solo Sikoa vs Cody Rhodes in the Bloodline Rules match. So the Bloodline, in its various forms, is about to go 0-2 in Bloodline Rules matches. Huh.

Will we see Jey Uso get involved in this match? Maybe Sami Zayn? Jimmy Uso? Roman Reigns? As I noted earlier, to not have Roman come back would feel like a letdown here since this is the main event. But we will see!

10:19pm: Arn Anderson is backstage, presumably to tell Cody to shoot the Bloodline with a gun. But aside from that, he tells Cody that he has some friends on the way if Cody needs them. Maybe THEY have the guns.

10:32pm: The early going of this match is pretty slowly paced, with a lot of the story being that Solo has a lot of Cody’s spot’s scouted and countered.

10:41pm: The problem with this match being Bloodline Rules is that it’s fine, but I feel like I’m just waiting for the interference spots.

10:42pm: Oh, here it is, with the G.O.D. showing up after the first Cross Rhodes to Solo. They hit their finisher, but Cody kicks out! This brings out Kevin Owens. After the Bloodline gets the numbers game over on KO, Randy Orton comes out! RKO to Tonga Loa. Stunner to Tara Tonga. Everyone attacks Solo, then Cody hits another Cross Rhodes, but Solo kicks out!

10:48pm: Here comes Jacob Fatu! He attacks Cody mid-Cross Rhodes. Cody kicks out of the attack! Fato splashes Cody through the announce table! Cody kicks out of a top rope splash from Solo!

10:52pm: ROMAN REIGNS’ MUSIC HITS! He is here! Superman Punch and Spear to Solo Sikoa! Then he stares at Cody Rhodes and walks off. Cody hits Cross Rhodes and pins Solo while staring down Roman.

And that is it! That’s SummerSlam 2024 in the books. The Judgment Day is no more. Roman Reigns is back. Two new midcard champions in Bron Breakker and LA Knight (si), and a new women’s champ in Nia Jax.

What did YOU think of the show?