The ECW on Sci-Fi Breakdown — 08.08.06

ECW on Sci-Fi by J.D. Dunn August 8, 2006 Live from Nashville, Tenn. Your hosts are Joey Styles and Taz. Mike Knox (w/Kelly Kelly) vs. Tommy Dreamer. Kelly now has Farrah-hair. I like the straight look better. Tommy is being forced to compete despite injuries. He takes Knox to the floor early with a Cactus Clothesline and whips him into the ringsteps. He busts out that convoluted spot where the opponent hangs on the ropes while he comes off the second rope with an elbow drop. Paul Heyman and his Stormtroopers run down. He distracts the ref while the Stormtroopers treat Dreamer like Rodney King. Taz rightly calls it the oldest trick in the book, which is why they shouldn’t use it. Knox is able to finish the diminished Dreamer with that snap flatliner thing that I can only assume will be called Hard Knox (2:23) 1/2* After the match, Heyman, Knox and the stormtroopers close in on Tommy, but Sandman runs down and gets in between them. Heyman says he can’t, in good conscience, book Dreamer in a match (even though he already did). Heyman makes a handicap match between Sandman and Knox/Test. Hey, evil promoter books babyfaces in handicap matches. Haven’t seen that in what — 2-3 weeks? Sandman vs. Mike Knox & Test Test gives Dreamer a goodbye boot on his way down. This is not Extreme Rules, so Sandman can’t use the Singapore Cane. He ducks and moves and uses the three moves he knows. Once he’s through with those, he just grabs the cane and waffles Test for the DQ at 1:42. 1/4* Softspoken Sabu claims he wants The Big Show and Kurt Angle just happens to be in his way. Balls Mahoney talks about how much he loves ECW. Kevin Thorn (w/Ariel) vs. Al Snow Snow gets distracted by Ariel but sees Thorn coming anyway. They slug it out in the corner. Thorn picks him up and gives him a Canadian Gutbuster. A shoulderblock to the gut puts Snow down, and Thorn stops to make out with Ariel. The rope-assisted Stunner knocks Snow out, and Thorn makes out with Ariel some more. The Crucifix Bomb finishes Snow at 2:52. Shouldn’t Thorn be averse to the Crucifix Bomb? Kurt Angle says Sabu would have to be suicidal to step in the ring with him. The Big Show comes out to talk about how classy he is. What is he – Ron Burgandy? He also claims to be the most dominant champ in ECW history. Not much of note is said. CM Punk says he was welcomed into the ECW family more than he was ever welcomed into his own. See! CHARACTER DEPTH. He doesn’t have to explain it. The audience can fill in their own backstory. He’s not one to focus on misfortune, though. He’s going to focus on his second match…next week. Boooo! #1 Contender’s Match: Kurt Angle vs. Sabu. This has the potential to be great or laughable. Sabu goes for a single-leg takedown off the bell, but Angle easily avoids him and rides him down into a headlock. Sabu makes the ropes and drop toeholds Angle down, floating over to a front facelock. Angle misses a charge and posts himself. Sabu backdrops him to the floor as we go to break. We come back to Angle holding a rear chinlock. Sabu elbows out and springboards into a tornado DDT for two. He pummels Angle in the corner, but Kurt responds with a belly-to-belly and then a fireman’s carry on the outside. Back inside, Angle locks in a rear naked choke. Sabu elbows out and hits a spinning wheel kick and Arabian legdrop for two. Angle blocks a charge but runs into a spinning front kick for two more. Sabu counters the Angleslam to an armdrag and springboards into a legdrop for two. Angle pops up and applies the Anklelock, but Sabu rolls him to the outside and dives out on top of him. Back in, Sabu slings into a legdrop and locks in the jujigatame, but Angle reverses to the Anklelock! Suddenly, Rob Van Dam returns from out of nowhere and misses the Van Daminator. Angle sells it anyway for the DQ at 14:07. Van Dam makes nice with Sabu before dropkicking the chair into his face. Big return for Rob, but Joey says we still don’t have a #1 contender. Well, since Sabu was disqualified in the #1 contender match, shouldn’t it be Angle? The match itself was pretty good. I think if they had another crack at it, they’d be more comfortable with one another, but the combination of Kurt’s ring rust and both men sacrificing their own style to work with the other guy dragged this down from the “really good” territory. ***1/4 Final Thoughts: You know how you get a letter of congratulations or acceptance for something and your name is in caps or bold separate from the rest of the letter because it was just created from a database where they just inserted your name? Well, that’s what the undercard booking is like. Take out the names Hunter and Shawn and insert Sandman and Dreamer. Take out Heyman and replace with McMahon. Take out The Spirit Squad and replace them with Test or Knox. I liked that there were no WWE imports this week (outside of the usual ones), but the recycling of storylines they did a month ago has to stop. You have thirty years and a half dozen promotions worth of footage to rip off if you can’t come up with something new. At least they seem to have the main event right, and that’s the most important thing.