The ECW One Night Stand F’N Breakdown

ECW One Night Stand

Live from New York, New York.

Your host is Joey Styles and Mick Foley.

Styles is nearly in tears as he welcomes the crowd and his broadcast partner Mick Foley. I should note that everything really does look like ECW with a slight polish on it. The ring looks a little better, and the lighting is more even than the old ECW PPVs. I see a few women there too, so the audience is atypical. 🙂

Lance Storm (w/Dawn Marie) vs. “Lionheart” Chris Jericho.

Foley points out that Jericho was Storm’s very first opponent. Jericho uses his WWE music but wears a Lionheart jacket. They battle over headlocks and then exchange armdrags. Jericho gets two off a bow-and-arrow as Foley talks about the Thrillseekers. Jericho delivers a missile dropkick and a sliding dropkick as the crowd chants “Lionheart”. Jericho goes into the ring barrier, allowing Storm to take over. Storm levels him with a dropkick. A delayed vertical suplex gets two for Storm. Storm tries his springboard, but Jericho dropkicks him in the back. An enzuigiri sets up a rollup reversal spot. Jericho gets two off a Tiger Suplex. Nice. Fans chant “Chris Candido!” Jericho backdrops out of a Cradle Piledriver, but Storm comes back with a thrust kick. Storm rolls through to the Single Leg Crab. Jericho counters to a slingshot and bulldogs him down. Storm tries to block the Lionsault with the knees, but Jericho counters to a Liontamer. Dawn Marie distracts the ref as Jason Knight and Justin Credible run down. Jericho rolls up Storm, but Storm kicks out and Credible hits Jericho with a cane shot. Storm falls on top for the win at 7:22. Not bad, especially from a guy who’s lost his will to wrestle…and Lance Storm. **1/4

Pitbull Gary Wolfe introduces a video package for the fallen ECW wrestlers. Rocco Rock. Terry Gordy. Mike Lockwood (Crash Holly). The Original Sheik (uncle of Sabu). Mike Lozansky. Pitbull Anthony Durante. Big Dick Dudley. Chris Candido.

3-Way Dance: Yoshihiro Tajiri (w/the Sinister Minister & Mikey Whipwreck) vs. Little Guido (w/Tracy Smothers, J.T. Smith, Big Guido & Tony Mamaluke) vs. Super Crazy.

Style calls the interference before the match. Tajiri tosses Guido and runs right into a tilt-o-whirl backbreaker. Tajiri tries his own on Guido, but Guido counters to an armbar. Super Crazy breaks it up with a moonsault. Crazy gets dropkicks on everyone and sets up for a tope, but Mamaluke trips him up from the outside. Crazy moonsaults of the balcony onto the FBI, who were standing in the crowd. Back in, Tajiri tries to sunset flip him but settles for a Tarantula. Guido and Big Guido try for a doubleteam, but Guido gets misted by Tajiri. Mikey slips in and hits the Whippersnapper on Guido. Tajiri covers for the elimination at 4:10. Unlike the dumbshit WWE rules, though, the match doesn’t end there. Tajiri and Super Crazy, who had the last great wrestling rivalry for ECW continue. Crazy gets a series of moonsaults before Mikey breaks them up. Crazy ducks the Buzzsaw Kick and plants him with a powerbomb. A Crazy moonsault finishes at 6:15 total time. Way too quick, but what was here was good. **

Brief video package detailing the history of ECW.

Brought to you by THQ. What, no Acclaim?

Psicosis vs. Rey Misterio Jr.

Psicosis wears his mask to the ring but takes it off. Styles corrects Foley, who says that we’ve never seen Psicosis’ face. Psicosis actually lost his mask in 1999. Rey, who wears his mask, actually gets a large amount of boos for violating tradition (and for “selling out”). Typical lucha-esque sequence to start. Rey springboards into a crossbody, but Psicosis catches him and delivers a swinging sitout facebuster. Misterio springboards into a moonsault press for two. Crowd boos a sleeper hold. Foley says that’s why he didn’t bring Mr. Socko. Psicosis hangs Misterio across the ring barrier and drops a guillotine leg off the top rope. Crowd can’t decide whether it wants to chant “ECW” or “Holy Shit!”. Back in, it gets two. Psicosis gets a dropkick, but Rey avoids another running dropkick. Rey hits him with a facebuster for two. Psicosis charges him and rams his own shoulder into the ringpost. He stumbles into the crowd where Rey delivers a vertical senton off the top into the crowd. Rey delivers the 619, which the crowd hates. The West Coast Pop gets the pin at 6:22. ***

The WWE Smackdown crusaders arrive in their balcony seats. Someone has a “Cane Bischoff” sign. Crowd chants, “Fuck you, Smackdown!”

Doering and Roadkill introduce more ECW highlight nostalgia.

Well, well, well, it’s the quintessential stud muffin Joel Gertner, here to taunt the WWE invasion force. Angle and Bradshaw chase him away. Angle gets on the mic and derides ECW and its fans. JBL talks about selling out Madison Square Garden whereas ECW can barely fill up a bingo hall. He says anyone can do what ECWers do. Crowd chants “shut the fuck up!” He says that the only reason this PPV will be a success is because he is there.

Rob Van Dam and Fonzie interrupt. Crowd chants “RVD!” He actually **GASP** delivers a promo — a somewhat shootish promo about finally being able to talk for himself without someone writing it for him. He takes credit for coming up with an ECW PPV run by the WWE. He then talks about being injured and how it sucks to miss this PPV…even more than missing WrestleMania. All of a sudden, Rhino runs in and gores him. Rhino stomps on Van Dam’s leg over and over again until…the lights go out.

It’s Sabu!

Rhino vs. Sabu.

Rhino delivers an overhead belly-to-belly suplex as the crowd chants “You got fired!” Sabu knocks him off the top with a chair and springboards into a somersault plancha. Sabu sets up a table outside, but Rhino tosses him back in the ring and knees him in the head. Rhino goes up, but Sabu catches him and ranas him to the canvas. A springboard legline gets two. Fonzie tosses a chair in for a springboard legline in the corner. Rhino trips him up into the chair to break up the Triple Jump Moonsault. Rhino hits an F5 onto the chair and then piledrives him. Sabu pulls the ref into the way of a gore. Van Dam runs in and dropkicks a chair into Rhino’s face. Van Dam puts Rhino on a table and tosses a chair to Sabu. Sabu comes off and delivers an Arabian Skullcrusher for the win at 6:29. **

Al Snow blames Head for inviting Smackdown wrestlers to the PPV. He introduces more nostalgia.

The WWE Raw crusaders strut down. Joey BURNS Edge by saying he’s glad he didn’t bring his wife tonight.

Chris Benoit vs. Eddy Guerrero.

ECW loves heels, so Eddy is mightily over. I was hoping for Dean Malenko to be the special ref, but no dice. Joey rightly says that the WWE Titles are the titles to have. Long feeling out process to start. Eddy bails to think about things. The fans remind me why I hated ECW fans the first time around as they chant “You screwed Matt!” at Edge while the match is going on. They trade chops, which goes bad for Eddy so he goes to the eyes. We get dueling chants of “Let’s go Eddy!” and “Let’s go Benoit!”. Benoit counters a headlock to a backdrop suplex. Benoit elbows out of a chinlock as the crowd chants “Fuck you, Bischoff!” Eddy yanks the ropes, spilling Benoit to the outside. Eddy superplexes him back in for a double KO. Eddy goes up but misses the Frogsplash. They trade chops again. Benoit clotheslines Eddy down and gets two off a Northern Lights Suplex. He gives Eddy a receipt with a superplex. ROLLING GERMANS! SWANDIVE HEADBUTT! ONE, TWO, TH-NO! Benoit goes for Rolling Germans again, but Eddy counters to a Petersen Roll for two. Benoit counters to a sloppy Crippler Crossface for the win at 10:37. ***3/4

The first truly hideous incursion by the WWE rears its ugly head as Benoit and Guerrero go face-to-face, looking like they’ll either shake hands or slap each other in the face and we go to…a Vengeance promo for Triple H and Batista.

Gertner tries again, this time begging Eric Bischoff for a job. Bischoff says Gertner is useless. I thought Bischoff was supposed to be a heel.

Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka.

Joey Styles goes off on Mike Awesome, calling him a Judas and a piece of crap. He also says he hopes Awesome dies. Tell us how you really feel, Joey. Awesome gets a belly-to-belly and a springboard shoulderblock. He busts out a wicked over-the-top tope. Tanaka comes back with a chairshot. Foley ponders if the mullet was the source of Awesome’s power. Styles runs down TNN as they set up a chair. Awesome delivers a running Awesome bomb through the table. A follow-up Awesome splash gets two. They do a sort of power wrestler Flair/Steamboat sequence that ends with an Awesome powerbomb. They go back and forth with chairs. Awesome gets three chairshots, all of which are no-sold by Tanaka. Tanaka blocks a charge and gets a Diamond Dust. Tanaka Tornado DDTs Awesome’s face into a chair but winds up taking a gore. Awesome goes up and gets a chairshot off the top rope. Styles and Foley make fun of Awesome’s WCW gimmicks as Awesome sets up a table. Tanaka reverses to a Tornado DDT for two. Even a drunken Bradshaw is cheering! They go up again, and Awesome POWERBOMBS HIM OFF THE TOP! That’s the way he won back in 1999. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Awesome powerbombs Tanaka out of the ring, through a table and then planchas on top of him for the pin on the outside at 9:52. Foley puts over Awesome’s performance and says he’s redeemed himself after that horrible WCW run. This match didn’t quite capture lightning in a bottle, but it came pretty close. I wouldn’t be surprised if Mike Awesome got another run in North America. ****

A teary Paul Heyman comes out and thanks the crowd. He says he was going to take the high road, but he has something to say to Eric Bischoff. “YOU ARE IN OUR HOUSE, BITCH!” He also rips on Edge for wife-stealing. Oh, and he rips Bradshaw, saying that the only reason Bradshaw was a champion was because Triple H didn’t want to work Tuesdays. And just like that…he’s gone. I think it’s safe to say that you won’t see that kind of promo on Raw or Smackdown.

“The Devil’s Rejects” trailer. A film by Rob Zombie. Well, ya gotta pay bills somehow.

The Dudley Boyz vs. Tommy Dreamer & Sandman

Dreamer has to settle for a ripoff of “Man in the Box”, but Sandman actually gets “Enter Sandman”! Sandman’s entrance takes up the whole song, which I don’t mind one bit. Before the match can even start, the Blue World Order (Steven Richards, Simon Dean, and the Blue Meanie) interrupts. They say they’re…takin’…over. The BWO and Dudleyz team up to attack Dreamer and Sandman. Suddenly, here comes Kid Kash (Total Nonstop Attitude, sayeth Styles) along with Axl Rotten and Balls Mahoney to make the save. They all pile up in the aisle as Kid Kash springboards into a somersault plancha. Finally, the match starts, and Bubba rips Dreamer’s face with a cheese grater. The Bubba Senton misses, but the Dudz team up for a neckbreaker. Dreamer does the Terry Funk ladder spot and returns the cheese grater violence. Sandman and D-Von go at it back in the ring. Bubba atomic drops Dreamer on the ring barrier as Sandman somersaults into a senton onto the ladder onto D-Von. Bubba levels him with a chair and splashes him off the second rope for two. D-Von misses a cane shot and takes out Bubba. Dreamer and Sandman get stereo figure-fours, but The Impact Players run in and break it up. Justin Credible hits That’s Incredible on some barbed wire. Francine runs down and kicks Tommy in the balls. Wait! It’s Beulah McGillicutty! CATFIGHT! CAAAATFIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!! The Impact Players try to doubleteam Beulah, but it backfires. Beulah and Tommy embrace and then double DDT the Dudleys (sorta). Dreamer hits a sign shot into a chair that was laying on D-Von’s crotch. Styles: He just crushed his balls! The Dudleyz come back by putting Sandman through a table and hitting a 3-D on Dreamer. Little Spike Dudley runs down and brings some lighter fluid! Bubba lights the table on fire and POWERBOMBS Dreamer through the blazing table. ONE, TWO, THREE! (10:14). ** for the match. ***** for all the crazy ass shit that went down.

The Duds are about to kill Beulah when Sandman makes the save. He has his priorities straight as he screams, “Someone get me a beer!” Well, who should answer that call, but STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN. Austin invites the entire ECW locker room down for a beer bash! Austin invites the WWE wrestlers to come on down for a fight. The WWE and ECW square off until…WAR MACHINE! IT’S TAZZ! FUCK THE WORLD! Styles goes off on Bischoff being the worst play-by-play man in the world as Bischoff tries to take over the announce position. Angle takes a swing at Tazz, triggering a huge brawl. Tazz and Angle go at it in the aisle and Tazz chokes out Angle! The ECW clears the ring of the WWE superstars. Austin has Foley drag Bischoff to the ring, and none of the departing Raw stars will help him. The Dudz, Benoit and Rey each hit Bischoff with their signature moves. Austin gives him a Stunner and celebrates with the ECW crew while the Dudleyz take Bischoff’s carcass to the back.

Joey Styles thanks everyone and shrieks, “ECW LIVES!” as we go off the air.

Final Thoughts: I’m man enough to admit when I’m wrong. I didn’t have much hope for this PPV. I knew there were be a few good matches, but I didn’t think it would much beyond that. I’m sure there will be cynical people who call this nothing more than empty nostalgia, but there is so much more than that here. Granted, it wasn’t ECW. It was glossier. But, there was an energy for this PPV. The crowd actually loved wrestling and wanted to be here! What a concept. Plus, the wrestlers were able to be actual individuals rather than the same amalgamated mush that comes out of the WWE meat grinder. If ECW never has another show, I would hope that Vince would at least take the lesson that a little honesty and creative freedom are a good thing. Not all of life has to be run by committee. Anyway, I enjoyed this show as much as any other this year, and I include WrestleMania in there.

Enthusiastic thumbs up for ECW’s “One Night Stand.”

J.D. Dunn