The ECW vs. WWE Head to Head Breakdown

WWE vs. ECW: Head to Head.

Live from Dayton, Ohio.

Your hosts are Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles and Tazz who are already at odds.

The respective locker rooms get fired up about tonight.

Non-title: Rey Mysterio vs. Rob Van Dam.
These guys were tag champions together two years ago. It’s very a very respectful matchup, unlike Tazz and Lawler (or JR and Styles for that matter). RVD gets his press slam into a moonsault. He avoids the 619, but Mysterio blocks a springboard move with a dropkick. Van Dam messes up his legdrop off the crowd barrier and misses a second attempt, allowing Rey to hit a springboard plancha into the crowd. EXTREME LUCHA LIBRE! We come back to Rob crotching Rey on the top rope and hitting a flying thrust kick to send Rey to the floor. Back in, Rob dropkicks a chair into Rey’s face. The announcers continue to jaw with one another. I wish they’d really start shooting on each other with Tazz bringing up Lawler crapping his pants and running away from Harley Race. Rey turns the tide with a bulldog to the chair. He misses a springboard legdrop. FIVE STAR FROGSPLASH and it’s over at 10:43. Good stuff if a bit sloppy at points. Rob raises Rey’s hand after the match. ***

Nice to see Lillian Garcia back at work. She’s tough. She’s a wrestler…a wrestling announcer. Kurt Angle comes out and says we’ll see a new Kurt Angle in ECW. Randy Orton interrupts and announces that he’s returning to Raw because his Smackdown contract expired. Are they trying to get Smackdown cancelled?

Mickie James vs. Jazz.
Jazz looks really good right away. Well, she doesn’t look good, but she works very well in the ring. She hits a running press off the apron and hits the X-Factor. Mickie gets her foot on the ropes and finishes with a Tornado DDT at 2:02. This was mostly here so Tazz could yell “puppies” to make fun of Lawler. 1/2*

In the back, John Cena brings up the possibility of his title going to ECW — the same title that was held by Sammartino, Hogan, and Austin. Well, they could just turn the stupid spinner “W” on its side so it’s an “E.” Maybe that would warm Sammartino, Hogan and Austin’s hearts.

Paul Heyman comes out to plug ECW and show clips from last year.

Big Show tries to rally the troops by calling Kurt Angle a traitor. Someone calls Angle a “sellout” in one of the funniest ironic moments of the night. My spider-sense tells me that Big Show is pushing his point so hard that he’ll probably turn and join ECW. Of course, I don’t actually have spider powers.

20-Man Team Battle Royal.
There goes Mark Henry, eliminated by Little Guido and Kurt Angle. Funny moment as Funk goes after Justin Credible, but Justin points to his ECW shirt, so Funk gives him the okay. Show sends Guido flying. Dreamer sends Tatanka to the floor. Sandman goes via Sandman dropkick. Edge finally gets on the apron and eliminates Tony Mamaluke. Edge actually has a pretty good strategy, standing on the apron and reaching for anyone that comes near him. Funk, Credible and Snow get eliminated in short order. There go Richards and Balls. Sandman and Finlay go at it in an interesting revisiting of the past. That leaves Angle and Sandman representing ECW as we go to break. There goes Sandman, leaving Angle in a five-on-one. I realize that they want to put Kurt over, but isn’t it telling that all of these guys were in the WWE ten days ago. The “real” ECW guys did look like a bunch of scrubs. Angle eliminates Shelton Benjamin and gives Big Show an Angleslam. Fit Finlay jumps him from behind, but Angle slingshots him over the top. Edge finally gets in and charges, but Angle belly-to-bellies him over the top. Angle talks trash to Edge, but that allows Orton to sneak up behind him and eliminate Angle to supposedly give Orton and Big Show the win. Oh, but Big Show tears off his Raw shirt, exposing an ECW shirt. He tosses Orton for the real win at 14:15, and I go outside to see if I can stick to walls. **1/4

Uh, yeah…turns out I can’t stick to walls.

In the back, Show celebrates with the ECW locker room. I guess Paul has his new 911, but it still feels like Vince is making the same mistakes of the Invasion by loading up the competition with his own talent because he doesn’t have confidence in anyone else to do the job.

ECW Rules: Edge (w/Lita & Mick Foley) vs. Tommy Dreamer (w/Terry Funk).
This is actually the perfect opportunity to break up Edge and Lita. Edge shows Mick his old anti-Hardcore promo to get him fired up. Lots of chair and garbage can shots. Lita trips up Dreamer, prompting the ECW announcers to make fun of him for needing help from his girlfriend. Dreamer kicks Edge in the nuts and works in the nutstand. Joey calls out JR for being a hypocrite because he hates sports entertainment and won’t say anything about it. Edge nearly gets killed as he goes for a second-rope piledriver on Dreamer, but Dreamer weakly backdrops him over, and Edge goes facefirst onto the table. Foley wraps barbed-wire round Funk’s neck on the outside. Inside, Dreamer weakly puts Edge through the table with a DVD and goes for the powerbomb on Lita. Instead, Edge spears him in mid-bomb, putting Lita in the Mudslide position. Edge covers and gets the win at 6:47. Given Funk and Dreamer’s respective physical abilities (not to mention Foley’s), I shudder to think what the match will be like on Sunday. Bad match, good booking. **

Another Valtrex commercial. Oh, that reminds me. I got several e-mails about a throwaway comment I made about Focus on the Family opposing the HPV vaccine because cancer is a deterrent to sex. I should stress that that’s not the official position of the organization. They are in favor of the vaccine, but oppose making it mandatory, I guess so parents can choose to increase their kids risk of cancer. But Focus spent most of the last year internally debating the issue.

In the ring, Mick Foley is pissed because people call him a “sellout” and “whore.” He says he loves ECW, but ECW doesn’t love him. Much like chalupas. Ha ha ha! Oh, oh that…that was awful. Foley admits he’s a whore but realizes that he and Edge are going to have to be hungrier and more violent than ever. He compares ECW to a pretty girl who he loves but doesn’t love him back, and he wants to kill the sick whore. HE’S HARDCORE!

That triggers another war of words between Tazz and Lawler. Lawler gets up and dares Tazz to get physical. I would think Lawler would have to be a legitimate tough guy to wear that shirt. They get into a pullapart behind the announce tables with Styles rooting on Tazz like some demented Scrappy Doo. GET ‘HIM, UNCLE SCOOB!

ECW Rules, non-title: John Cena vs. Sabu.
The commentary crews are back to their normal positions. This should be an interesting contrast in styles. Cena dominates early. Tazz and Styles finally rip on Lawler for the little girls thing after Lawler says he’s had girls hit him harder than Tazz. Sabu comes back with a somersault plancha and the triple-jump moonsault with a few chairshots in between. Air Sabu (springboard legline) gets two. Sabu takes Cena to the Raw announce table and gives him a legdrop. Back in, Cena catches Sabu in mid-air and gives him the FU. He puts Sabu in the STFU, drawing out The Big Show to save Sabu from tapping. Apparently, that’s a DQ at 5:26, and we get the obligatory company vs. company brawl. *3/4

Final Thoughts: The wrestling was actually better than you average Raw, and there were some big moments like Orton switching brands and Big Show leaving WWE for ECW. The dueling announcers put it over the top as a good show, though. Good promo from Foley too. I just hope that ECW can focus on some of the younger talent they have from OVW rather than just cycling in guys from the main rosters who have nothing better to do.

J.D. Dunn