The Fink’s Payload 05.22.08: WWE Legends of Wrestlemania!

It’s summertime! Well, it is for me at least. I finished my exams last week and I’m moving on to summer school next week, so… it’s my week of summertime. Unfortunately, all that means is that I get to spend more time at work to make up for hours I missed during finals. It never ends.

Last week I asked y’all to help me settle a little roster idea that I was tossing around in my head. See, ever since they announced that “Legends of Wrestlemania” video game for next year, I have been wondering what kind of awesomeness the game could deliver. Every time they announce a new SD! PS2/3 game, you always hear about the “next big innovation” in the game… and every time, the roster gets overlooked. It’s like the game’s producers worry more about tweaking the graphics or adding the announcers’ voices or even new match types more than they worry about delivering a current and accurate representation of the WWE roster at the time.

Remember the last SD vs. RAW: Cryme Tyme? Johnny Nitro? Bobby Lashley? I mean, who even cares about these worthless – Oh. Huh? They’re back? Why on Earth… And the other one’s in ECW with a different name? Jeeeezus. At least tell me I’m right about the third one. That’s what I thought.

I know, I know. Don’t get all fired up, video game pragmatists. I realize that people get fired, change gimmicks, and switch brands far too often for these changes to wind up in the game. But here, the WWE has a real chance to make the roster the most important aspect of the game. They can just take the most recent SDvsRAW game, change the roster and storylines, and market it as “Legends of Wrestlemania”—the coolest game you ever saw. But they have got to get the roster right; it’s what the game is built upon. These guys have got to be the true badasses of the biggest show of the year and they really should be an assortment of old and new superstars. Think of how many amazing grapplers from the past never got the opportunity to appear in a video game simply because they peaked before video games hit the market. Think of how many times you wanted to see Hogan vs. Austin… now you can, with both men at the computer-generated top of their game!

Enough with the intro, tho. A few of y’all felt inclined to help me out and I garnered a pretty good idea of what our little corner of the universe thinks of the game. Some of you (like Reichou Shinsake) thought the roster should have certain standards to warrant inclusion:

I think anyone in the WWE Hall of Fame who appeared on a WrestleMania show in some capacity should automatically get in this game. Also, anyone who technically main evented a ‘Mania match (and not committed murder) should get an automatic berth, too.

Personally, I tend to agree with this line of thinking somewhat. Each person needs to be on the list for a reason – be it a dramatic championship victory or a different, equally stunning, Wrestlemania “moment” – that precludes their being called a Legend of the Showcase of the Immortals. After compiling the entries from everyone who sent in their rosters, I made a couple of different lists of YOUR choices for inclusion on the video game roster.

ROSTER BY UNANIMOUS DECISION:
Andre the Giant
Curt Hennig
Eddie Guerrero
Greg Valentine
Hulk Hogan
Iron Sheik
Jimmy Snuka
King Kong Bundy
Mick Foley
Nikolai Volkoff
Randy Savage
Ric Flair
Roddy Piper
Sgt. Slaughter
Shawn Michaels
Steve Austin
Ted DiBiase
Tito Santana
Ultimate Warrior
Undertaker

STRONG POSSIBILITIES:
Akeem/One Man Gang
Animal
Arn Anderson
Ax
Bam Bam Bigelow
Big Boss Man
Big John Studd
Big Show
Bret Hart
British Bulldog
Brutus Beefcake
Chris Jericho
Dusty Rhodes
Dynamite Kid
Earthquake
George Steele
Hawk
Honky Tonk Man
Jake Roberts
Jim Niedhart
John Cena
Marty Janetty
Owen Hart
Paul Orndorff
Rey Mysterio
Ricky Steamboat
The Rock
Smash
Sycho Sid
Triple H
Yokozuna

WEAKER CANDIDATES:
Barry Windham
Batista
Bob Orton, Jr.
Brock Lesnar
Don Muraco
Edge
Haku
Harley Race
Hill Billy Jim
Jeff Hardy
Jim Duggan
John Bradshaw Layfield
Kane
Koko B. Ware
Kurt Angle
Matt Hardy
Mike Rotunda
Pedro Morales
Randy Orton
Rick Martel
Rick Rude
Terry Funk
Tony Atlas
Tully Blanchard

Did I miss anyone? Hope not. Thanks to everyone who helped create this list-crazy edition of the Fink’s Payload! What do y’all think about the way things panned out? Wouldn’t you want to play a game with just the first list? I know I do! And that’s just twenty-one guys… so sprinkle in a few superstars from the second and third lists, and I’ll bet you have a hit on your hands.

But what about bonus and unlockable characters, you ask? We’ve got answers. Check out Josh Richardson’s ideas:

A few hidden wrestlers, or extra characters, I would suggest the following:
Bobby “The Brain” Heenan
“The Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart
Mr. Fuji (Early Powers of Pain Days/Yokozuna Days)
Slick
Pete Rose
Lawrence Taylor
Sensational Sherri/Scary Sherri/Queen Sherri
Colonel Mustafa
Paul Bearer
Paul Ellering
Mr. T
Luna Vachon
And yes…… even…. Sir Oliver Humperdink… and……… BROTHA LOVE!!!!!!!!!!

Finally, there’s even one guy out there who decided to go the extra mile and give us a little glimpse of a possible “story-mode” for the game. Forget climbing the Top 25 ladder and becoming champion. Forget about cementing your status as an all-time legend. Jeremy from Palmdale, California, has a different kind of challenge for you…

Instead of them trying to come up with a whole season mode, they could have a legacy mode which would give people the opportunity to replay WrestleMania matches (kind of like the Classic Match mode on Showdown Legends of Wrestling) for rewards like clothing, movesets, arena’s and wrestlers. Maybe they could also throw in a general manager mode.

The matches for the Legacy of WrestleMania mode would be….
WrestleMania 1 – Nikolai Volkoff & Iron Shiek vs. Windham & Rotundo
WrestleMania 2 – Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy (Cage)
WrestleMania 2 – Dream Team vs. The Bulldogs
WrestleMania 3 – Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage
WrestleMania 3 – Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant
WrestleMania 4 – Brutus Beefcake vs. Honky Tonk Man
WrestleMania 4 – Demolition vs. Strike Force
WrestleMania 4 – Greg Valentine vs. Ricky Steamboat
WrestleMania 4 – Randy Savage vs. One Man Gang
WrestleMania 4 – Randy Savage vs. Ted Dibiase
WrestleMania 5 – Twin Towers vs. Rockers
WrestleMania 5 – Mr. Perfect vs. Owen Hart
WrestleMania 5 – Brainbusters vs. Strike Force
WrestleMania 5 – Hart Foundation vs. Greg Valentine and Honky Tonk Man
WrestleMania 5 – Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage
WrestleMania 5 – Jake Roberts vs. Andre the Giant
WrestleMania 6 – Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect
WrestleMania 6 – Demolition vs. Colossal Connection
WrestleMania 6 – Ultimate Warrior vs. Hulk Hogan
WrestleMania 7 – Undertaker vs. Jimmy Snuka
WrestleMania 7 – Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage
WrestleMania 7 – Big Bossman vs. Mr. Perfect
WrestleMania 7 – Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine
WrestleMania 7 – Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter
WrestleMania 7 – Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel
WrestleMania 8 – Shawn Michaels vs. Tito Santana
WrestleMania 8 – Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair
WrestleMania 8 – Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper
WrestleMania 8 – Hulk Hogan vs. Sid
WrestleMania 8 – Undertaker vs. Jake Roberts
WrestleMania 9 – Money Inc. vs. Beefcake and Hogan
WrestleMania 10 – Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart
WrestleMania 11 – Undertaker vs. King Kong Bundy
WrestleMania 12 – Ultimate Warrior vs. Triple H
WrestleMania 12 – Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels (Ironman)
WrestleMania 13 – Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin
WrestleMania 13 – Undertaker vs. Sid
WrestleMania 14- Triple H vs. Owen Hart
WrestleMania 14 – Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels
WrestleMania 14 – Undertaker vs. Kane
WrestleMania 15 – Big Show vs. Mick Foley
WrestleMania 15 – Kane vs. Triple H
WrestleMania 15 – Steve Austin vs. The Rock
WrestleMania 15 – Undertaker vs. Big Bossman (Hell in A Cell)
WrestleMania 16 – Triple H vs. The Rock vs. Mick Foley vs. Big Show
WrestleMania 17 – Shane McMahon vs. Vince McMahon
WrestleMania 17 – Gimmick Battle Royal (10 man battle royal?)
WrestleMania 17 – Undertaker vs. Triple H
WrestleMania 18 – Undertaker vs. Ric Flair
WrestleMania 18 – The Rock vs. Hulk Hogan
WrestleMania 18 – Triple H vs. Chris Jericho
WrestleMania 19 – Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio
WrestleMania 19 – Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho
WrestleMania 19 – Vince McMahon vs. Hulk Hogan
WrestleMania 20 – John Cena vs. Big Show
WrestleMania 21 – Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero
WrestleMania 22 – Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon
WrestleMania 22 – Triple H vs. John Cena
WrestleMania 22 – Edge vs. Mick Foley
WrestleMania 23 – John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels
WrestleMania 24 – Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels
WrestleMania 24 – Undertaker vs. Edge

Because it would be the replacement of the season mode, I don’t think 62 matches would be too many. Another thing I like is that there would be at least one match from every WrestleMania in it.

Great effort put forth there. I like it! Well, there’s your video game, people. WWE can just shut the “how-to” book because I put it all out there. We have just one more great idea this week, coming from none other than Steveo. He’s gonna take us in a different direction:

You create a wrestler. Depending on his region of birth, he will start in the NWA, WCCW, AWA, or Stampede Wrestling. After you do some stuff there, you move on to the bright lights of WWF. It all culminates in you wrestling in the main event of Wrestlemania 1. You’ll run in to various legends and wrestle them on your way to the top.

Hmm… we could work with that. Readers, what do you think about short and simple?

Finally, I want to give a little bit of my own input on the situation. I love the roster we came up with but I want to give it my own spin. I think that a cool thing about the video games is their continued effort to make wrestling look like a sport. This is often done with spectacular computerized shots of the most acrobatic or eye-appealing moves and bombastic sound effects to enhance the damage perception. It is also shown in a smaller fashion, I have noticed, when the smaller characters can’t pick up the bigger characters. Every time this happens, I think to myself, wow… it’s a video game, but at least they got that right. I made a concentrated effort to include both super-heavyweights and light-heavyweights in my fantasy roster so that this realism would be preserved and also in order to portray a more diverse landscape of characters, from the tall and skinny to the short and stumpy and everything in between.

My fantasy roster consists of 48 characters, or two from each past Wrestlemania event. In a systematic approach that I will not show here (but you can see if you ask nicely), I picked two men who “symbolized” each pay-per-view event and put them on the roster by virtue of this symbolism. What I came up with was a list of 44 wrestlers and 4 non-wrestlers who deserve to be immortalized in video game form. Behold!

Total Superstars: 44.
Number Active @ WM 24: 17.

“Legend” Heavyweights: 24
Roddy Piper, Ricky Steamboat, Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Ted DiBiase, Jake Roberts, Curt Hennig, Ultimate Warrior, Jim Duggan, Sgt. Slaughter, Jimmy Snuka, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Lex Luger, Razor Ramon, Bam Bam Bigelow, Steve Austin, Sid, The Rock, Mankind, Iron Sheik, Rob Van Dam, Eddie Guererro, Ric Flair.

“Legend” Super-Heavyweights: 4.
King Kong Bundy, Andre the Giant, Yokozuna, Kevin Nash.

“Current” Heavyweights: 13.
Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Chris Jericho, Rey Mysterio, John Cena, Batista, Edge, John Bradshaw Layfield, Randy Orton, Mr. Kennedy, CM Punk.

“Current” Super-Heavyweights: 3.
Undertaker, Kane, Big Show.

Celebrities: Mr. T and Mike Tyson.
McMahons: Vince and Shane.

I think this roster won’t alienate the young audience (they play most of the video games) because it features the most popular guys currently appearing on TV every week. It also won’t disappoint the older audience (they buy most of the video games) because it leans heavier on the “retired” side of things and features several fan-favorites who have never been in a video game. Readers, what do you think? Did I find a happy medium between old fans and new fans? Or did I just make a mess in the middle of no man’s land?

Next week, I want y’all to think long and hard about the Night of Champions pay-per-view that the WWE is holding at the end of June. Sure, they made it a rule that every championship has to be defended… but last year, that didn’t really matter because none of the damn titles changed hands. Payloaders, it’s up to you to fix this problem with predictability!

Next week’s homework… due Tuesday, May 27 @ 11:00 PM
In your mind, create an exciting and stimulating outcome for the Night of Champions pay-per-view on June 29, 2008. Feel free to come up with whatever angles and feuds that you need to in order to make a memorable evening that stands out amongst the plethora of wrestling on TV these days. Remember: all the championship belts have to be defended at the show and I want at least one of these titles to change hands. Don’t feel pressured into booking the entire card. Just give me my money’s worth.

Send all of your entries to [email protected]! I’ll be waiting!