The Furious Flashbacks – WCW Beach Blast ‘93

The Furious Flashbacks – WCW Beach Blast ‘93

This show has Ric Flair, Barry Windham, Sting, Vader, Davey Boy Smith and the Hollywood Blondes. And it’s still mediocre.

We’re in Biloxi, Mississippi. Hosts are Eric Bischoff & Missy Hyatt but thank Christ that’s not the commentary team. That’s Fat Tony & Jesse Ventura. Everyone is in beach gear. July 18th 1993.

My tape is clipped up so we lose Regal stretching Bill Watts and some other crap.

Maxx Payne v Johnny B. Badd

Payne is just a guitar playing guy at the moment even though he’s the heel. He shot confetti into Mero’s face on the last Clash so now Mero has a gay half mask on to cover up the gay confetti scars. Badd is clearly upset at Payne’s Badd Blaster attack (sounds like rape) and jumps ahead of the bell. Could that mask be any fruitier? He misses in the corner and takes a spill to the floor. Payne drags him back in and suplexes him. Payne starts working the arm to set up the Paynekiller. Not working it particularly hard though as he’s just sat there in an armbar. Backbreaker gets 2. Paynekiller but Badd is right into the ropes. Paynekiller is a Fujiwara armbar in case I never mentioned that. Fat Tony talks about Payne’s wrestling credentials. Nowadays they’d probably mention him training in the New Japan dojo but that’s not mentioned here. Payne bails out and Badd follows with a pescado. Back inside Badd adds a high crossbody, albeit a crappy one, and that’s enough for the pin at 4.50. ½*. Why even bother? Anyone more interested in Payne as an amateur look up his real name of Daryl Peterson and note he came in 5th in the NCAA wrestling championships out of Iowa State. Hey, he was a good enough amateur for Bill Watts to hire him. That’s got to count for something. For those wondering what happened to one of my favourite wrestlers Payne bombed out of WCW after he was bitched at by Eric Bischoff for stiffing the shit out of Brian Knobbs. He’d have probably have gotten away with it but Knobbs is one of Hogan’s mates. If it seems extreme to bash the crap out of another competitor you’ve never seen Knobbs do the same thing to other people. Payne considered it a receipt. He ended up in the WWF as Man Mountain Rock but did nothing of note due to injuries and was released in 1995. Still I’ll always have the Payne/Cactus matches against the Nasty Boys.

WCW tag titles – Hollywood Blondes (c) v Arn Anderson/Paul Roma

This one needs explaining. WCW in 1993 shot months of shows in advance to save money. Unfortunately turning up at one of these shows would reveal who would win the titles at future major shows like PPV’s as they’d wear the belts to the ring during the tapings. At a taping before this show Anderson & Roma were shown as the tag team champions therefore making it pretty obvious that the belts would change hands around the time of Beach Blast. WCW decided to swerve its smark audience by changing the booking at the last minute and having the Blondes drop the belts at the following show. That backfired somewhat with Brian Pillman getting injured and Steven Regal had to replace him. Daft stuff but then a lot of the decisions behind the scenes were in 1993. Bischoff patently hadn’t got a clue the company was falling apart or maybe he did and was just waiting out for Hogan. While I’m talking about stupid decisions; Paul Roma the Horseman! Wow. Just a total fuck up on everyone’s part. Roma is a jobber. A career jobber who burnt most of his bridges everywhere during his career because he’s a fucking idiot who overvalues himself. With the exception of NO ONE Roma is the worst Horseman. Ever. Steve McMichael at least turned heel in a decent storyline to join the Horseman but Roma? Worthless. Meanwhile the Blondes had their nuts cut off for having the temerity to get more over than all the main event guys bar Sting. As much as I talk about how much I enjoyed WCW during 1993 there are moments where you wonder what the hell they were doing. This being three of them in one place.

Blondes spend a while jawing with the crowd and killing time before selling big for Roma. I’d feel dirty. Pillman checks on Austin after he takes a punch. An illegal punch from that piece of shit Roma. Arn comes in and that’s better with Pillman and Arn both willing to make each other look good. Austin in and Arn armdrags him around. Arn uses the Anderson left hand sending Austin out to the ramp. Austin begs off and goes for a handshake but Arn isn’t stupid enough to buy that and it’s time for the Horsemen to work Austin’s arm over. Crowd are being REALLY nice to Roma and just sitting on their hands rather than chanting “fuck you Roma” at him, which is what I would have done. He does his usual brand of utterly boring unimportant midcard jobber offence. The Blondes beat him for it. Like a red-haired stepchild! Roma hits a shitty clothesline on Pillman for 2. Thankfully Arn tags in to carry on the continuity offence on the arm. Pillman bullshits a fake knee injury that not even Fat Tony buys. Pillman promptly takes out Arn’s knee but misses outside crashing into the rail. Roma in with an advantage, which he blows. He can’t sell properly. Oh, incidentally, never shout that at a wrestling show. I did once and I felt dirty afterwards. “SELL THE KNEE GODDAMNIT” might be what’s going on in your head but it shouldn’t come out of your mouth. Austin hits a gutwrench suplex and the Blondes do another number on Roma. Austin pretends to ride a horse around the ring to show his contempt for the Horsemen. See, that’s good. Nash & Hall mocking Arn’s retirement is bad. Roma is isolated and taking a beating and this is going too long with too much Roma. Crowd just doesn’t give a shit either, which is the most worrying part. Roma comes off the top but chickens out of the way of a Pillman dropkick. Motherfucker. Luke warm tag to Arn and he cleans house. Pillman gets PLANTED with the DDT and Austin has to make the save. Arn is slammed and Austin drops the axe handle off the top for 2. Now Arn takes a long heat segment but the crowd doesn’t buy that either. Outside and Austin goes for a piledriver but Arn backdrops out. Back inside Austin gets a pin on the tired Arn for 2. Arn goes for a DDT but Austin dumps him off onto the ropes. Arn rolls up Pillman but Roma is too stupid to get out of the ring. Austin cuts off Arn again with a back suplex for 2. Arn suplexes Austin out of the ring. Ventura calls for a DQ for throwing Austin over the top rope. Arn gets stopped from making the tag again, this time by Pillman. Flying headscissors on Arn and he’s still in trouble. Pillman comes off the top but gets caught in the neck with an axe handle. Hot tag to Roma and finally there’s a reaction although not a big one as it’s dead by the time he’s cleaned house. Austin runs into the ANDERSON SPINEBUSTER…for 2. Pillman made the save. Roma has it with a roll up but Pillman lariats him off the pin and Austin grabs the tights for the win at 26.11. ***. Nearly half an hour for what was basically a formula tag match sans the heat. It was still decent because 3 of the 4 wrestlers were really good but it didn’t warrant that long. Tony talks about how stunning the finish is, knowing that he’s talking to the smart audience who were expecting the belts to change.

Ironman match – Rick Rude v Dustin Rhodes

It’s a 30 minute match to play up on last year’s Beach Blast bout between Rude and Ricky Steamboat. While that was one of the best matches in WCW history this is a less good idea. Rhodes & Rude had been in competition over the US title, which had become vacant as a result of their feud. This match is therefore for the vacant US title. They jaw to start and then roll around the ring on the collar & elbow tie up for a minute. They do it again and then jaw again. Rude starts the actual match after a few minutes by working over Rhodes’ back. Then he grinds. Rude’s wrestling career has about a year left on it at this point, which is a real shame as he’s stuck in this feud with Dustin Rhodes when he could have been doing something useful. I’d have taken Davey Boy or Sting. But then hindsight is 20-20. Rhodes goes to a chinlock and I go to fast forward. Rude hits a diving sledge blow to the head and he grinds again but the chinlock left him with a bad back so that hurts. This reminds him to get a receipt and he goes after Rhodes’ back with the BORE-HUG! Rhodes hammers away with elbows but Rude just suplexes him belly to belly style for 2. Now it’s Rude’s turn to chinlock the life out of this one. Rhodes stands up into an Electric Chair. Rhodes tries to follow up with a running splash but Rude gets his knees up. That’s ten minutes so far. Rhodes now goes after the leg instead of the back. He still does so in slow and uninteresting fashion. Rude favours brawling rather than losing his knee and after a backbreaker he throws out the Rude Awakening for the first pin at 13.19.

I’m satisfied that Rude did enough work on the neck to get himself 1-0. Rude goes up top but there’s no rest period so he should have just pinned him again. Rhodes staggers around and gets hit with a diving clothesline for 2. Halfway through and Rude has this well in hand but there’s a lot of time left. Rude dumps Rhodes onto the ramp going for a count out but Rhodes beats that back in so Rude goes to another bloody chinlock. Rhodes tries to fire up but a silly little pirouette costs him and he ends up running into knees. Rude tries for the Tombstone but Rhodes gets out and hits his own…for 2. In an Ironman? Why not just have that as a pin? Rhodes charges and Rude low bridges him outside. Rude hits a suplex for 2. Rhodes tries to fight back but he’s suplexed again for 2. Rude calls for number three but he wastes too much time. Rhodes reverses into his own suplex for 2. If a Tombstone isn’t getting a pin then a suplex damn sure isn’t. It’s a transition. Rude goes up top and connects with a diving sledge. Tony suggests that Rude is putting the match to sleep by using rest holds. He’s nearly correct. In fact he’s putting the audience to sleep with rest holds. Sleeper hold applied appropriately. Rhodes’ eyes are glassy. That eats up a chunk of time until Rhodes hits a jawbreaker to escape. 5 minutes left. Rude is blocking everything Rhodes throws at him now thanks to Rhodes being so tired. They take it turns to spit on each other, which is pretty disgusting. Slugfest but Rhodes is still missing everything until he fakes out Rude and bulldogs him for the equalising pin at 26.53.

1-1 then with 3 minutes left. Rhodes now drops the sledge off the top for 2. Crowd is finally into this as Rhodes looks for the winning fall and a piledriver gets 2. Rude has the ropes close to save him. Rhodes drops an elbow for 2. Rhodes hits a few clotheslines for 2. Rhodes hooks up the sleeper but he doesn’t have time for that to be effective. Rude jawbreakers out anyway as he’s now looking for the win. Rude goes up top but Rhodes has too much left and he spots him. DDT but the 30 minute time limit expires before the 3 count. **. Pretty dull especially compared to Rude-Steamboat the year before and the clinic they put on. The problem being the lack of workrate between these guys compared to the workrate of someone like Steamboat. Normally they’re both good…with someone better. As it stands this isn’t a classic by any means and to add to the misery no one wins so the belt is still vacant.

CLIPS – We see Windham & Flair beating each other up during the course of their feud. Now we get the blow off match.

NWA title – Barry Windham (c) v Ric Flair

Flair is only a 9-time world champion at this point. Well, 9-time NWA champion anyway. Ventura talks about the pressure being on Windham despite him being champion because Flair is the man and you’ve got to beat the man to be the man. Flair takes his corner bump to the floor. Windham bails to stalk Flair and he clotheslines him on the floor. Flair gets suplexed back in and now Windham has clear control and he’s dictating the pace. Flair throws chops and goes to the eyes to stop that. Flair hooks up a sleeper but Windham runs Flair into the corner. Crowd seems very under whelmed by all of this. Samoan Drop from Windham and a powerslam gets 2. Windham gets the receipt for the thumb in the eye and adds in a flying clothesline for 2. They go to the strikes to liven the crowd up. Flair takes it with chops but the crowd isn’t in this. They screw up a crossbody spot and Windham falls over the ropes. Outside and Flair is slammed. Someone in the crowd is telling Flair he’s “too old”. Getting there. Windham takes it to the ropes to hit his trademark Superplex. He’s not going for the pin off that though because his back hurts. He also wants to make an impact but misses off the ropes with an elbow drop. Flair gets an inside cradle for 2 and follows up with more chops. Windham isn’t going to take any shit though and fires away with rights. Flair does his corner bump and runs the apron into a high crossbody but Windham rolls through it for 2. Almost like he wanted Flair to waste the energy and then take the pin to boot. Flair hits a back suplex for 2 but that hurts Flair and his bad back. Flair goes for the Figure Four but Windham goes straight into the ropes knowing the danger of the move. Windham kicks him off a second attempt but can’t escape it at the third time of asking. Windham is so busy reaching for the ropes he doesn’t notice he’s pinning himself and loses the belt at 11.19. **1/2. That was very underwhelming. The finish was out of nowhere with Flair doing very little work on the leg to set up the Figure Four. Crowd simply didn’t care about the match, possibly due to the whole situation with the tapings where everyone knew Flair was getting the NWA title.

POST MATCH Ventura chats to Flair about his tenth NWA title win. Crowd isn’t as rampantly pro-Flair as it would be at Starrcade later in the year.

Masters of the Powerbomb (Vader/Sid) v Sting/Davey Boy Smith

Harley Race is out here with the heels as is Colonel Rob Parker. I always thought Parker (Robert Fuller) looked ancient but he was only 42 at this point, two years younger than the NWA champion Ric Flair. Sid towers over Sting but Sting lays him out and pounds him with rights. Couple of bulldogs but Sid no sells them and chokeslams Sting with one arm. Sting is down and struggling but Sid doesn’t even pin because he’s too busy having fun with the crowd. Heels celebrate but the faces climb the same corner and both hit dives. Heels clear out. Kind of paint by numbers stuff there and Vader doesn’t seem to care. He tags in and the crowd are giving Vader some serious love. He takes his chance to pound Davey in the corner. Why didn’t WCW turn this guy babyface? Well, I can answer that one with two words; Hulk Hogan. His arrival in 1994 killed any chance of someone else going on the big babyface run. Davey fires up and suplexes Vader to the crowd’s delight. He runs right into the Baby Bull Splash though. BOOM! Now Davey plays babyface in peril and gets a beating from both the monster heels. Oh, incidentally I’ve never seen the mini-movie that accompanied the build up to this show and I can’t find it on You Tube. Someone locate this gem for me. Davey finds some energy and slams Sid but Vader comes in to beat him down some more. Vader has shed the mask now but maybe he should have kept it as he miscues and flattens Harley Race. Sting gets a hot tag and cleans house. “Literally cleaning house” according to Fat Tony. I don’t see no motherfuckin’ vacuum cleaner Tony. No dusters either. Now Sting gets a beat down after losing his focus. Sting blocks a lot of Vader’s corner punches but eventually one gets past the defence and he drops like a sack of shit. Vader drops off the ropes into a clothesline of sorts. Vader goes for a superplex but Sting blocks it and knocks him off the ropes. Sid comes in to pound Sting some more but fucks up and let’s Sting tag out to Davey. He comes in but Sid boots him in the stomach in short order to make amends for his error. Vader in with the Samoan Drop for 2. Vader takes to the ropes and the VADERBOMB gets 2 with Sting saving. Sid goes to brawl with Sting while Vader takes to the ropes again but this time he goes all the way up and debuts the VADERSAULT for 2 with Sting’s desperation save again saving the match. Sting encourages Davey who catches Vader in a crucifix for the pin at 16.43. Kind of a lame finish after the two rope moves from Vader. **1/4. Passable main event but lacking in several departments. Crowd at least goes batshit for the babyface win, which had to be the aim and Davey gets another title shot because he pinned the champion. Not that they mention that as the commentators are obsessing over the Vadersault.

The 411: It’s hard to see how they could do a show this mediocre given the talent they had available. A poor crowd didn’t help matters but they seemed somewhat jaded and disinterested thanks to WCW giving away so many results by taping their crappy Worldwide shows months in advance. Everyone knew that Flair was taking the NWA title so the heat was gone off that match from the start. The crowd only got into it when the Figure Four was strapped on because they knew it was over. It’s a pity because the match wasn’t too bad it just needed the crowd to get into it more to push it up that little bit higher. Meanwhile both the tag title match and the Ironman were largely dead thanks to extended heat segments that no one seemed to want to see. The main event finally got the crowd fired up but the booking wasn’t helping any. Much like Slamboree and some other WCW shows back under Bill Watts this just didn’t feel like a PPV. The Clash of the Champions that preceded it was far more entertaining and had better wrestling. Speaking of which the Clash’s were doing enormous ratings at the time but the PPV’s, which seemed to be of equal quality to these free shows, were doing squat. Although for some bizarre reason the buyrate for Beach Blast in ’93 was better than the awesome show that was Beach Blast ’92. Maybe people tuned in expecting the same quality. They’d be disappointed and the crappy nature of this show pretty much killed the Beach Blast name. It was never used again.

Final Score:  5.0   [ Not So Good ]