The Name on the Marquee: The Ken Patera Story

-Your hosts are Craig DeGeorge and Ken Patera.

We start with the historic night in MSG when Ken Patera became the 2nd Intercontinental Champion, with an ill-gotten win over Pat Patterson.

KEN PATERA ON “TNT”
-Bobby Heenan declares Patera undefeated, unlike that useless Paul Orndorff. I think it’s weird how hard they pushed a guy with an open-and-shut assault charge against him. What did they think they’d accomplish in their limited time frame? They show a TV squash. I never cared for the swinging full nelson as a finisher. I used to do it to my nephew to make him laugh when he was really small. The standard heel version of the full nelson, where you just shake the guy back and forth while it’s locked in, looks more lethal. Nothing segment. 0 for 1.

THE KEN PATERA STORY
-The four-part series of segments that re-introduced Patera to the WWF in the spring of 1987. Ken Patera had an impressive amateur background until going down a dark path with the encouragement of Bobby Heenan, which makes sense if you’re a newer fan and you don’t know that he was always a heel until this run. Gene Okerlund lays out Patera’s crimes and bemoans the fact that Ken Patera had to serve a whole two years in prison while rapists get off scot-free with plea bargaining. Yeah, all Patera did was beat up an innocent unsuspecting everybody. Anyway, Patera is distraught because he had to serve his entire prison sentence without getting a visit or even a letter from Heenan. Patera exits prison and suddenly his big babyface push takes a bizarre Cape Feare-ish turn with Patera obsessively lifting weights while chattering about Heenan. 1 for 1. There were some huge logic gaps in Patera’s face turn, but I always really liked these segments. They were really well-produced and stretching it out over four weeks made Patera’s story seem really special. You felt like you had to pay attention to him after this.

THE GREAT DEBATE
-Heenan is pissed about being blamed for Patera’s troubles and agrees to a debate to clear his own name. Okerlund tries to moderate, but Heenan talks over him and completely commandeers the debate by sheer force of will, putting him about 25 years ahead of his own time. My favorite story about this segment is Bobby Heenan’s tale of Vince flat-out rejecting his idea for having a table with coffee and Danish pastries in the ring for this segment so Heenan could talk about prison and then ask Patera, “Do you want me to give you some sticky buns?”

-Patera expresses pride in having paid his debt to society and being allowed to return to the WWF and Heenan is all “Ex-con!” Heenan gets bleeped for a looooooonnnnng time while reading something; the story I’ve heard is that he’s reading a newspaper clipping about the crime, but I’m not positive. Patera offers a rebuttal that shows that he’s really not cut out for cutting promos all by himself; he BADLY needed a manager. He lashes out at “the Bobby Heenan types of this world…types like yourself.” Heenan rather eloquently defends himself and wins the debate by saying that he’s a businessman and not a babysitter; anything that Patera did outside of the arena was his business, not Bobby’s. 1987 was a different time; the crowd would have TOTALLY turned on Patera by the end of the segment if they did this today. And Damien Sandow is right, how can Patera win the debate if he can’t even put on pants for it.

-Heenan attacks Patera with a belt. Patera snatches away the belt, wraps it around Heenan’s neck, and basically uses Heenan’s body like a giant whip. Well, Patera has a right to defend himself, I can’t object to that. 1 for 2. Heenan totally kicked Patera’s ass verbally here, which isn’t what they were gunning for.

KEN PATERA vs. HERCULES (with King Harley Race & Bobby Heenan)
-This is the second try at this match, which they had done at a Superstars taping and it apparently stunk up the building, so they did it over at the Wrestling Challenge taping the next night. Hercules gets the early advantage and controls for a bit. It actually turns into domination until Patera finally gets some offense with a clothesline and an impressive series of jerk slams. Bearhug looks to finish until Harley Race establishes why he was there, and Patera gets the win by DQ. Billy Jack Haynes makes the save. 1 for 3. Pretty poorly paced TV match, with Hercules destroying Patera until Patera got some token offense in just in time for the go-home signal.

KEN PATERA vs JIMMY JACK FUNK
-Man, even Jimmy Jack Funk gets to take a turn beating the shit out of Ken Patera. Bobby Heenan promises that soon enough, Patera won’t even be identifiable. Patera shows signs of life with an inverted atomic drop and a suplex for two. Bearhug gets the win by submission. 1 for 4. Okay, I actually had to delete a line from the beginning of this review because I led off by explaining there was an angle in this TV squash. But there wasn’t, so we got this match crammed on here for no reason.

KEN PATERA vs FRANKIE LAINE
-This had better be the match I was thinking of. And things suddenly turn insane as Craig DeGeorge opens by saying “This isn’t one of the top ten matches in WWF history, but there’s a reason we’re showing it.” I trust you, Craiggers.

-The Heenan Family shows up in the aisle while Patera beats on the jobber. Bearhug gets the submission, and the Family makes their way to ringside and beats on Patera like a dirty yard dog. Heenan gets some poetic justice with the belt, letting Patera have it like a red headed step…son. Patera is hurt, his back is hurt, but Patera won’t show us his back because we all saw it. Rabid “Hogan” chant erupts, but Patera doesn’t take enough vitamins, so Hogan won’t come to ringside. Referees show up to chase off the goon squad. 2 for 5. I decided to give this segment a point because if something else didn’t get a point people might think it sucks more than the George Steele tape and it really doesn’t.

THE SNAKE PIT
-Jake taunts Heenan for his neckbrace (“ring around the collar”) and Heenan says he’s not afraid of Patera thanks to his protection. Heenan promises that the family is running at full strength. Well, we kind of guessed that from the last segment. 2 for 6.

KEN PATERA vs. HONKY TONK MAN (with Jimmy Hart)
-And what better way to follow up that segment than with Patera wrestling a guy not managed by Bobby Heenan? Copy-pasted…Patera dodges a punch and slams Honky across the ring. He does it again and Honky goes to the floor to recover. Back in, arm wringers are traded and Patera gets the advantage with that. Honky tries to punch out, but Patera calmly atomic drops him and musses the hair for added insult. Honky is so mad about it that he decides to call it a night right there and heads for the locker room, but Jimmy Hart compels him to change his mind.

Patera outmuscles Honky down and elbows him. Series of forearms by Patera, followed by an Irish whip Honky moves out of the way of a charge and Patera hits the post. Honky takes advantage and works the arm. Axehandles by Honky and he stretches the arm a bit to work it over. Axehandle by Honky and he chokes Patera down.

Patera shows signs of life with a few boots, but Honky goes to the eyes. Kneelift by Honky. He drops the elbow and goes up to the second rope. Double axehandle by Honky gets a two-count. He tries another double axehandle, but Patera rolls out of the way and throws punches. Monkeyflip by Patera and a clothesline takes Honky down. Backbreaker gets two when Honky gets a foot on the ropes. Slam by Patera, but Honky gets a foot on the ropes again.

Hart comes up to the apron for a distraction. Patera feigns falling for it, but when Honky charges toward him, the Olympian is ready with a bearhug. It looks to finish, but Hart gets desperate and comes in with the megaphone to break the hold, and the referee calls for the bell. Patera wins by DQ. Post-match, Patera gets his arms around both Honky and Hart and applies a double-bearhug, and lifts both of them in the air to make it look REALLY cool. 3 for 7. Nothing special or required reviewing here, but it was fun to watch.

HULK HOGAN & KEN PATERA vs HERCULES & KING HARLEY RACE (with Bobby Heenan)
-And again, Philadelphia uses a really cool bit of camerawork that they never did anywhere else, showing the face team walking through the hallway (the same way they did at MSG, too) but then following them all the way with a continuous camera shot, so one moment, they’re surrounded by plain white walls, and a split second later, all you see are screaming fans.

-Donnybrook to start and the heels are cleared from the ring in short order to start. Race gets the edge over Hogan and the Hulkster gets trapped in the wrong corner. A suplex reversal turns things back to the side of goodness and righteousness, and Hogan clotheslines Race out of the ring. Patera tags in and manages to manhandle his opponents with ease. Another brawl erupts, the ring gets cleared again, and Hogan pins Race with no trouble to win. 3 for 8. Different from the usual Hogan formula for tag matches, and I don’t mean that in a good way. It was a total squash.

The 411: Patera's big comeback just didn't work the way they wanted it to and they released the tape anyway. He got into a feud where the other guy was obviously right and then promptly injured himself. It's not actively bad, it's just that they didn't have much to work with.
Final Score:  3.8   [ Bad ]