The Night of Champions 2008 Breakdown

Night of Champions 2008 by J.D. Dunn June 29, 2008 Live from Dallas, Texas. Your hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Mick Foley, Mike Adamle and The Taz. Opening Match, WWE Tag Team Titles: John Morrison & The Miz vs. Fit Finlay & Hornswoggle. Finlay starts with Morrison and turns him into his bitch right away. He works in that apron trick to avoid a pescado, so the heels try to chase down Hornswoggle instead. OFF COMES THE COAT! Hornswoggle is ready to fight! Heaven falls on your head today, motherfuckers! Actually, he just tricks them into a double clothesline by Finlay. Morrison cuts off Finlay’s momentum with a dropkick on the apron. Hornswoggle tags in and cleans house. No really. He hits a mini-Stunner on Miz, but Morrison kicks him from the outside to turn Horny into face-in-peril. The double-clothesline spot is pretty funny. Miz showboats and misses a corner charge. Morrison cuts off the hot tag, but Hornswoggle escapes and makes the hot tag. Finlay cleans house now, hitting a powerslam and a missile dropkick. He Finlay Rolls Morrison and drops him with the Celtic Cross. That sets up the Tadpole Splash, but Miz knocks Finlay off the apron. Morrison slams Horsnwoggle off the top and picks up the pin at 8:47. Miz and Morrison treating Hornswoggle like just another guy made this work a lot better and fit in with their characters. Like good narcissists, they treat their victory over a midget as a highlight accomplishment. **1/2 U.S. Title: Matt Hardy vs. Chavo Guerrero (w/Bam Neely). Foley mentions winning the World Class Championship Wrestling Light-Heavyweight Title. Chavo grabs a headlock early, but Matt catches him with a backdrop. Chavo blocks the bulldog and clips Matt’s knee. That leads to Bam wrapping Matt’s knee around the ringpost. Chavo goes to work on Matt’s knee. Chavo misses the frogsplash, but he rolls through. Matt catches him with the Side Effect for two. Matt goes for the legdrop, but Chavo yanks him off the ropes and slaps on the half-crab. Matt makes the ropes and signals for the Twist of Fate. Chavo catches him with the Lance Storm roll through to the half-crab, though. Matt gets to the ropes and hits a desperation enzuigiri. Chavo recovers first, though, and goes for the Triple Verticals. Matt suddenly counters the last one to a Twist of Fate for the win at 8:22. It looked like Matt was still suffering from injuries because he didn’t do much outside of sell for Chavo. Chavo doggedly went after the knee, though, and for a second there, I thought Matt might actually tap out to the half-crab. **1/2 Recap of Vince McMahon getting squashed by the set. Wizards of Waverly Place has better special effects. ECW Title: Kane vs. Big Show vs. Mark Henry. Let’s see. Kane is on Raw. Big Show is on Smackdown. Mark Henry is on ECW. This is for the ECW Title. I wonder if that tips the ending. By the way, if McMahon is the one who got crushed, why am *I* the one in hell right now? Kane pummels both guys and DDTs Show for two. Show tosses him, leaving Show versus Henry. Show slams Henry for some “oohs” and “ahhs.” Kane appears to get injured, but he’d return. He’s tough. He’s a wrestler. He comes back in with a flying clothesline but gets caught in a bearhug from Henry. The faces team up against Henry and double chokeslam him. Show gets two, but Kane saves. Kane hits Show with the Kanezuigiri. He goes up but gets chokeslammed. Kane does the zombie sit up thing, so Show suplexes him. Show goes up now, but Kane catches up with him and delivers the SUPERPLEX. The ring doesn’t collapse this time, though. Henry suddenly swoops in (as “suddenly” as Henry can move) and splashes Kane for the win at 8:18. It sounds silly to call this a “spotfest,” but that’s exactly what it was. The fans popped for the big moves like Show’s slam on Henry or the superplex, but they went silent during the rest. I’m sure a lot of people will say this is the WWE’s version of Affirmative Action (and an apology to Henry), but they’ve been looking for a way to push Henry for years. I guess Henry really does deserve it for his stick-to-it-iveness. * Batista, John Cena and CM Punk talk about who is going to bring title gold home to Raw. World Tag Team Titles: Hardcore Holly & Cody Rhodes vs. Ted Dibiase & A Mystery Partner. Jerry Lawler assures us that all of the champs’ problems are behind them, thus ensuring a turn. He does get in a good line about Dibiase’s high school mascot being a mink. Dibiase says his partner is a little late, so he wants to wait about ten minutes. He doesn’t want to forfeit, though, so he’ll wrestle them both until his partner shows up. Cody is about to start, but Dibiase calls out Holly. Holly tags in and, yep, Cody spins him around and gives him the DDT. Ted announces his partner is Cody Rhodes and finishes Holly with the Million Dollar Leg Sweep at 1:33. I’m trying to think if anyone has ever won tag titles from themselves, a feat that you’d think Rhodes’ father would have figured out how to do at some point. Rhodes and Dibiase are the most interesting tag team to come along in a while, though, and hopefully this leads to something with Orton when he comes back. [N/R] John Bradshaw Layfield complains about the lack of JBL on this PPV and calls Dallas a bunch of losers. Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho (w/Lance Cade) vs. Mystery Opponent. Lots of mystery on this PPV. The Mystery Opponent is Kofi Kingston, which is an okay idea from a wrestling standpoint, but he comes from a show that gets 1/3 the ratings of Raw, so a lot of people don’t know who he is. Jericho slaps him and ducks away to piss off Kofi (and the crowd). Kofi is still jovial, though. He works in the rebound spot to wow the crowd and pescados out on Jericho. Back in, he bounds up to the enemy pummel, but Jericho simply dumps him. Jericho suplexes him back in and stretches him across his knee. Kofi knees out. Jericho sets up for a backdrop superplex as the fans get impatient. Jericho reverses the Bobo Legdrop to the Walls, but Kofi blocks. Kofi misses a charge and gets booted, but he gets two of a huracanrana. Jericho slams Kofi and hits the Lionsault. That sets up the Walls of Jericho, but Shawn Michaels runs down and superkicks Cade. Jericho knocks Shawn to the floor, but that distraction is enough for Kofi to hit Trouble In Paradise (spinning kick) at 11:00 to become the new IC Champion. Kind of awkward really. People loved Kofi, though. ** After the match, Jericho punches Shawn in his injured eye to retaliate. In the back, Edge talks about how Batista is running scared. Ryder & Hawkins say it’s too bad Edge can’t get help from HHH. Edge says he doesn’t need help – he’s Edge. John Cena and Vince shill Gillette razors. Vince would make an awesome pitchman. Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Katie Lea Burchill (w/Paul Burchill). Lots of rollups early. Cole talks about how Katie thinks she’s the true champion already. Lawler counters that you can’t win championships with your mouth. Hey, worked for Tommy Rich. Katie gets knocked to the floor but snaps Mickie’s arm off the top rope. Back in, Katie tosses Mickie’s shoulder into the corner and goes to work with the armbar. Mickie makes the one-armed comeback, and the match goes horribly awry. We’re talkin’ right turn at Albuquerque awry. Katie goes back to the shoulder, but Mickie backflips out of a hammerlock backdrop attempt and hits the DDT for the win at 7:17. This was okay while Katie was working the shoulder, but once Mickie started her comeback, one had no idea what the other one was doing. * World Heavyweight Title: Edge vs. Batista. Edge comes out first for whatever reason. Batista chases him around the ring and overpowers him. A Jackhammer gets two. Edge rams him into the ringpost to take over. Michael Cole must be itching to scream, “Ultimate Opportunist!” but he’s on Raw now. Edge tries a sleeper, but Batista powers him into the corner. Cool spot as Batista misses a charge to the corner but turns around and catches Edge in the Bossman Slam for two. Edge boots him but runs right into the spinebuster for two more. Edge blocks the Demonbomb but runs into a powerslam. Seriously, the last three moves have all been Edge charging at Batista wildly and getting burned. Edge comes back with the Impaler for two. Batista boots him in the face to block the spear, though. Batista goes up, but Edge dropkicks him on the way down. The Rated Rmy wheels Vickie Guerrero down as Edge runs into a spinebuster. Vickie pulls referee Mickey Henson out, and Edge knocks him out with a punch. Vickie calls for a new ref, so Chavo Guerrero comes out wearing a referee shirt. Batista grabs Vickie and tosses her over the top onto La Familia. Edge uses the distraction to hit Batista in the head with the belt. Chavo recovers and counts the pin at 16:46. Not bad before the booking kicked in. I was hoping for more of a Flair/Luger vibe, but Edge didn’t really seem to have a strategy on offense outside of “hope the big guy makes mistakes.” ***1/4 WWE Heavyweight Title: Triple H vs. John Cena. This has been a bit overhyped in recent weeks. I don’t really care that they haven’t met one-on-one for two years. For one thing, they were both injured for extended period, and for another, they’ve met in multi-man matches. It’s not quite as epic as they’re trying to make it seem. Lots of jockeying early on. The fans certainly seem to be on HHH’s side, but not nearly on the level they were when he was a heel two years ago. Hunter tells Cena to suck it, so Cena responds that he can’t see him. Hunter whips him into the corner a few times, but Cena makes the superman comeback, drawing boos. Hunter cuts off the Five-Knuckle Shuffle and hits the high knee. VINTAGE HHH! Cena comes back with the Throwback and hits the Slice. He goes for the Five-Knuckle Shuffle, and again, HHH cuts it off with the knee. That sets up a spinebuster, but Cena whips Hunter over the corner. HHH appears to injure his knee, so Cena ducks to the floor and clips his leg from behind. Big boos for that. Cena wraps Hunter’s leg around the post. STFU, but Hunter makes the ropes. Cena drags HHH back in, but Hunter hits a surprise Pedigree. He can’t cover right away, though, and only gets two. Cena hits the FU! ONE, TWO, TH-NO! They slug it out, giving the crowd the chance to chant “Yay/Boo!” Cena wins and hits the Five-Knuckle Shuffle. Hunter grabs the ropes to block the FU and goes for the Pedigree. Cena counters to the STFU, though! Hunter squirms for the ropes, so Cena drags him back to center. Hunter reverses the STFU to the Crossface! Cena powers up for the FU, but Hunter slips out and hits the Pedigree to retain at 19:40. Started out slow, but really started to get dramatic down the end. Cena played the match smartly (much more intelligently than at Mania) by inching heel without actually going over the top with it. Strong finish to the match and the show. **** The 411: It looks like they’re setting up a few things down the road that might be interesting, not the least of which is the second-gen stable. I guess Punk’s MitB title shot becomes the de facto Raw title with everyone vying for it so they can be the one to cash it in and bring gold back to Raw. The undercard was pretty weak on this one, so I can’t give it an enthusiastic recommendation. The two title matches are good, though, and it’s better to finish strong than start strong and peter out. Lukewarm recommendation for “Night of Champions.”