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The Professional 3 11.10.13: Jon’s Favorite Survivor Series Team Names

November 10, 2013 | Posted by Jon Harder

Welcome everyone to another edition of the Professional 3 on 411wrestling.com! I’m Jon Harder and another exciting week of wrestling down in the record books. I am absolutely loving the old school feel of WWE and TNA television right now with long-term character development and stories. However, with Survivor Series right around the corner, there is NO WAY you cannot expect me to talk about the old school methods behind some of the craziest pairings ever assembled within a WWE ring…

Before we go any further, check out this week’s Hardway Podcast on TheJonHarder.com with a post-show edition from ACE Crossroads 9! After the event in Wallington, NJ, I, alongside my contestant in the Hardway #SidekickSearch Jamal Jackson, interviewed several wrestlers and discussed the results of what possibly might have been the best pound-for-pound wrestling show in New Jersey in 2013, and that’s saying something. You can follow ACE Pro Wrestling on Twitter at @ACEWrestling.

Finally, follow me at @TheJonHarder on Twitter. I like feedback, comments on any project I’m enamored with, and cute comments regarding my sweet Twitpics I post. It tickles my heart strings when a comment is said about them. I’m like Warhol.

With that said, welcome to this week’s column again. It is November, and honestly to me, it is my favorite month for wrestling. Growing up, my old man would frequently discuss how Thanksgiving night was normally the best day for the sport of kings. After filling your belly with food in the afternoon, he would always find a way to make his way towards Madison Square Garden at night for wrestling, whether it be live or the MSG Network. In 1983, with Starrcade on the horizon, November, for a few years in the 1980s, picked things up a notch within the realm of this great sport. It wasn’t until November 26, 1987 where the month of November changed FOREVER. It was when the World Wrestling Federation debuted the Survivor Series!

Billed as “the epitome of tag team competition”, Survivor Series was the first ever concept pay-per-view the WWF ever had. Utilizing a multi-man tag team format, it was an elimination bout where once you eliminate every member of a unit, you win the match. Whether it be 4 vs. 4, 5 vs. 5, or in the very rare case, 10 vs. 10, the Survivor Series truly started a revolution. In 1987, it was all built around the Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant rivalry, which was jump-started in the winter of the year with the incredible WrestleMania 3 encounter. After this pay-per-view, fans were hooked on this incredible pay-per-view. Yet, it wasn’t until 1989 when things truly started to pick up with the PERFECT exclamation point for “The WWF Thanksgiving Night Tradition”!

In 1989, the WWF started to brand the teams, which was standard 4 on 4 battles officially, with team names representing their captains. Even though it was still based around feuds that were intertwined with one another, the Captain’s prerogative was heavily influenced into the team name. It was so cool for wrestling fans to see the revolutionary concept take its next step towards legendary status. Although the branding of captain related team names ended in 1996, and the standard Team Raw or Team Smackdown boring came to fruition, old school wrestling fans to this day long for the true feel of an old school Survivor Series match with the creative team names to boot.

Honestly though, the names did have to stand out. Of course, you knew you’d have Hulk Hogan’s Hulkamaniacs, Ted DiBiase’s Million $ Team, or Dusty Rhodes’s Dream Team, but it was the unusual captains that would make you wonder about the team dynamic when it came to the captain’s choice of moniker. I dig these days and the fun team names that existed. Trust me, this week’s Professional 3 will revolve around my top 3 favorite Survivor Series team names. I dug through the annals of every Survivor Series pay-per-view, and although it might not necessarily be everyone else’s favorites, I decided to chime in with the ones that tickle my fancy.

Without further hesitation…

THE PROFESSIONAL 3: Jon’s Favorite Survivor Series Team Names

1) RUDE’S BROOD – 1989

“Ravishing” Rick Rude, fresh off a multi-month run as Intercontinental champion, was in midst of a feud with Rowdy Roddy Piper, due to Piper distracting him at SummerSlam 1989, costing Rude his belt against the Ultimate Warrior. Without Bobby Heenan, who was involved in his own Survivor Series battle against the Ultimate Warriors, Rude struck out on his own and found himself a captain of his Survivor Series team against a team captained by Rowdy Roddy Piper. Piper, who picked up the Superfly and the Bushwhackers as his underlings, christened his team Rowdy’s Rowdies, while Rude, who had found Mr. Perfect and the Fabulous Rougeau Brothers, named his crew the Rude Brood. And trust me, Rude had just found the PERFECT team name.

It fit like a glove. For some reason, only specifically to me, the Rude Brood just sounds so raunchy. You hear Rude Brood and you think of something vulgar and nasty. Plus…IT RHYMES! Yes sir, I just enjoy rhyming patterns with my team names. Regardless of which, Rude’s Brood won the war at the Survivor Series, as Mr. Perfect survived to the very end, Perfectplexing Superfly to win it all. You just can’t stop the Rude Brood. Fantastic name for a team. Ravishing, as well.

2) THE VISIONARIES – 1990

When Rick “the Model” Martel accidentally sprayed his fragrance ARROGANCE in the eyes of Jake “the Snake” Roberts in the fall of 1990, no one knew how dangerous that could have been. However, when “the Snake” temporarily lost sight in his left eye, you had an incredibly personal rivalry that was heading into the Survivor Series in November. “The Snake” and “the Model” were captains of their own Survivor Series teams. Although Roberts had his Vipers, with the Rockers and the Superfly, Martel went to another level entirely. Calling on his old manager Slick, he hired Power and Glory and the Warlord and formed his team. The team name: the Visionaries.

The Visionaries had a double meaning behind their team name. First, it was to incite “the Snake” for the vision impairment he received at the hands of “the Model”. Second, it was to showcase a vision that had never been prophecy that had never been fulfilled before at the Survivor Series. For the first time in 4 pay-per-view installments, the Visionaries SWEPT the Vipers in competition, winning the match and advancing to the Ultimate Survival match, which only took place at this particular event in 1990. Martel and company had to be very pleased: they just made WWF history.

3) CLOWNS ‘R’ US – 1994

How can you not love Clowns ‘R’ Us? Although it is absolutely the WORST team naming of all time, it suited the team of Doinks. Embroiled in a year long rivalry with Jerry “the King” Lawler due to Doink’s betrayal of Lawler at SummerSlam 1993, it all culminated at Survivor Series 1994, where Lawler and his Royal Family of Queasy, Sleazy, and Cheesy, faced off with Doink’s unit of Dink, Pink, and Wink. The real kicker: besides captains Doink and Lawler, every other combatant was a midget wrestler. A true throwback to the carnival days of pro wrestling, this contest was an absolute laugh riot. It is one of those matches where you just have to fun with it. (EDITOR’S NOTE: I look back now and really wish that Lord Littlebrook would somehow found his way to the Royal Family team, but I digress.)

Finally in the end, Lawler’s team swept Clowns ‘R’ Us. After the match, Lawler’s arrogant attitude came into play, disrespecting the clowns and disassociating himself with his own team. Frustrated, the 6 midget wrestlers went after “the King” and ran him up the aisle way. There, behind Lawler’s back, Doink SMASHED a pie into the King’s face. Clowns ‘R’ Us might not be a good team name, but pie in the face is ALWAYS a plus.

Which are your favorite Survivor Series team names? Let me know on the bottom of this page or via Twitter @TheJonHarder. I hope Survivor Series gets that format back one day down the line. It would really make my day.

#Professional3

Jon Harder – [email protected]