wrestling / Columns
The Top Ten 4.3.07: WrestleMania 23 In Review
Greetings people and welcome back to another bait-and-switch edition of The Top Ten. I know that I promised you a Top Ten list on WCW Matches this week, but I got home super late so instead this is going to be a quick little review of Wrestlemania 23. Sure, I know that there are already about NINE MILLIONTY reviews out there, but one more can’t hurt, right? RIGHT?!?! Right. Let’s get into it.
Mr. Kennedy won The Money In The Bank Ladder Match
I loved this match and I think that it definitely delivered so I don’t understand how some people are already hating on it. There was a numerous amount of insane shit seen in this match. From Kennedy cracking the back of his head on a ladder after missing a Kenton Bomb to Randy giving Punk an RKO from the top of the ladder to Matt taking a splat on the mat when Finlay turned over his ladder to Finlay giving Matt the Celtic Cross on a ladder to Booker giving Randy a Bookend from the top of the ladder to Kennedy giving Hornswoggle the Green Bay Plunge from the top of the ladder to Jeff Hardy’s INSANE dive from the top of a ladder which broke both Edge and another ladder in half. That dive may have replaced Jeff’s Impact Zone swanton as his most insane spot to date. I think this match was better than last year’s MITB and on par with the first one. That Jeff/Edge spot is definitely one that is going to go down as an all-time Wrestlemania moment.
Match Rating: ****1/4
The Great Khali def. Kane
Blah, this match was what it was which was a vehicle to make Khali look even more unstoppable. It wasn’t too offensive and they kept it relatively short so that was good. Am I the only one that wanted to see Kane give Khali the BIG legdrop after slamming him and get the three count? That would have popped the crowd huge and been the ultimate slap in the face for Hulk Hogan. But no, we MUST make Khali look unbeatable. Why do I have this unshakable fear that they are building up Khali to have him challenge Cena for the WWE Title? God help us if that happens.
Match Rating: *
Chris Benoit def. MVP to retain the United States Championship
Man, oh man, why didn’t they give this match five more minutes? This was shaping up to be a really good match and would have probably cracked the 4* mark (No bullshit) if given a little more time. MVP really impressed me in this match and I don’t think anyone can deny that this kid has improved a lot since his debut and is starting to find his nitch. I liked the psychology of the match, which was that MVP countered Benoit everytime he tried to lock in the Crossface, showing that MVP had done his homework on how to avoid it. Thus Benoit had to try to figure out another way to beat the young upstart. The ending was abrupt with Benoit hitting the diving headbutt for the three count and I can’t even remember the last time I saw Benoit win with the diving headbutt. Wrestlemania 2000, maybe? I wish they had given these guys a few more minutes as they had great chemistry together and I think with a better finish, this would have been a truly memorable match. Hopefully this feud isn’t over and they’re given more time at a future PPV to really produce something classic.
Match Rating: ***
The Undertaker def. Batista to become the NEW World Heavyweight Champion
Wow, this match impressed the hell out of me. I was expecting a pretty decent match between these two but they far exceeded my expectations. First off, The Undertaker’s entrance was great and it was probably his best entrance since WM14. Secondly, Batista looked REALLY motivated and it showed as he delivered his best performance since his HIAC match with HHH a couple years ago. The Undertaker was no slouch either and for the second consecutive year, he busted out the no hands dive over the top rope, which is ALWAYS impressive for a man of his size. This was just a great big man match and you could feel the crowd literally gasp after Batista hit the Batista Bomb as some thought that may be the end to ‘Taker’s streak. If Batista had kicked out of The Tombstone, I would have officially marked out like a little bitch, but alas it didn’t happen and the streak continues. One of my friends who I watched the show with said this match should have gone on last and I can’t disagree because the pop that ‘Taker got after winning was HUGE and would have been a great way to close the show. Really good match that pleasantly surprised me in terms of overall quality.
Match Rating: ***3/4
The ECW Originals def. The New Breed
This was definitely the disappointment of the night for me. As I feared, they made this a straight up 8-man tag match, which greatly took away from the potential of this match. The match was just kind of there and the only person who shone in it was RVD who was on fire the entire time he was in and hit the 5* for the win. I had dreams of dives through tables, faces cut with barbed wire, pounces that break bodies, and thumbtacks galore. But alas, we got none of that and instead we got a decent but unspectacular tag match. Hopefully, this won’t be the end of the feud and these guys will be allowed to bloody each other up at a future PPV.
Match Rating: **
Bobby Lashley def. Umaga
So this was the much-hyped Battle Of The Billionaires and for all intents and purposes, it delivered on what was promised. A billionaire was shaved bald and Umaga & Lashley were able to put on a pretty decent match. It wasn’t as good as I thought it might be, but it was still a fun little match as all matches dealing with Vince tend to be. I wish there had been a little bit more PLUNDER AND MAYHEM, but I can’t nitpick too much because it did deliver for the most part. Vince got shaved COMPLETELY bald and Austin stunned everybody in sight, including The Donald himself! But Donald took the stunner even worse than Vince and fucked up what could have been one of the greatest Wrestlemania moments ever. Darn you Trump! Darn you to HECK!
Match Rating: ***
Melina def. Ashley to retain the WWE Women’s Championship
This match was my piss break so I really didn’t catch much. From what I did see, though, the match sucked and Mickie & Victoria looked EXTRA hot. Vince, put those two in Playboy STAT!
Match Rating: TRASH
John Cena def. Shawn Michaels to retain the WWE Championship
This match delivered in a big time way and it was easily the match of the night. I liked how both men at certain points played either the face-in-peril or the heel-in-control. It really made the match unique. I must point out that John Cena’s entrance was pretty cool, but after all the hype it got on the internet before the show about how EXTRAVAGANT it was gonna be, it was a bit of a letdown. Anyhow, back to the match, it was completely awesome and definitely had that big time feel, despite a dead crowd. The only negative part of the match was when HBK focused on Cena’s leg for like a good 5 minutes and then Cena just shook it off and was running all around the ring like nothing was wrong with him. That’s the only thing that prevented this match from being a 5* classic, but everything else was so damn good, that you can forgive them for that little fuckup. Great match that was definitely worth the price of Wrestlemania alone.
Match Rating: ****1/2
Overall Show Thoughts
Overall, the show was pretty damn good with a couple solid matches like MVP/Benoit and Lashley/Umaga and some great matches like MITB III, Batista/Undertaker and HBK/Cena. But for some reason, something was lacking. And I think it was the fact that they tried to stretch 8 matches over 4 hours. The show didn’t flow well and they put in a TON of filler. When they have to recap the DARK MATCH just to buy time, you know they are stretching it out. And the PPV still ended 15 minutes early. If they had added at least one more match and got rid of all the useless “All Grown Up” Promos, the show would have flowed so much better, IMO. So while the show was great quality wise, the dead crowd and the needless filler dragged it down a little for me. Still a very good show, though, and one of the better WM’s in history.
Show Rating: ***1/2
Check out all these great columns by my 411 brethren:
-Andy Clark’s “Shimmy”
-Ari’s “Column Of Honor”
-Sean, Alex and David’s “Triple Threat”
-Bayani’s “Truth B Told”
-Weyer’s “Shining The Spotlight”
-Byers’ “Cheap Wrestling for Cheap People”
-Larry and Geoff’s “3R’s”
-Fact Or Fiction
-O’Dog’s ” Goodness”
-Sat and Uncle Trunx’s “High Road/Low Road”
-Phill Feltham’s “Quick Talkdown”
-Sarnecky’s “Piledriver Report”
-Slimmer’s News Report
-Hidden Highlights
-Carapola’s “That Was Then” and “Friendly Competition”
-The Fink’s Payload
-Gamble’s “Just ‘Spose”
-Cook’s “Ask 411”
-Meehan’s “Meethinks”
-Sforcina’s “Evolution Schematic”
-Prag’s “In Defense Of?.”
-Wrestlers of the Week
-Sullivan’s “Crystal Ball”
-Randle’s “Wrestling News Experience”
-Joe Boo’s “Ringside Or Cheap Seats”
-Linkous’ “WWE vs. TNA”
-Double M’s Rasslin Report
-News To Start Your Weekend
-Dunn’s Rawtopsy, Smackdown Breakdown, & ECW eXperience
-Cook’s “News From Cook’s Corner”
-Mike LaFave’s “Getting Over”
-Your News, Larry’s Views
-Mike Hamflett’s “Storylines”
-Rodriquez’s “Puerto Rico Report”
-Zac Calhoun’s “The Ripple Effect”
So that’s it for this week people. Sorry for the half-assed column, but this little piggy needs some sleep. But be sure to send in any feedback you may have and come back next week when we will DEFINITELY have The Top Ten WCW Matches of all-time. Scouts Honor. Even though I was never a boyscout. But what makes them so honorable, anyway? Their badges? Fuck their badges.
