The Top Ten 6.03.08: 80’s Matches

Good day gents and ma’ams and welcome to another classic edition of The Top Ten. I apologize for being MIA the last few weeks, but I went away to PA for vacation and the resort that I stayed at apparently has never heard of this new invention called “The Internet”. Because of that, I’ve been unplugged for the last week and that’s why I’m late with this column. But I am making it up to you by not only giving you ten, but giving you TWENTY of the greatest matches of the 1980’s. Love me people. Love me.

Julian Unwanted and Unnecessary PPV in Review: The One Night Stand Edition

Jeff Hardy def. Umaga
I see a lot of people hating on this match by saying it resembled a hardcore RAW match from the late 90’s and to that I say: Is that a bad thing? I remember those matches being damn entertaining and so was this one. It went all over the building and outside and included some great stuff like Jeff’s staircase-assisted clothesline and Umaga delivering a sick release Catatonic to young Hardy. The finish was of course predictable, but you’ll never see me complain about a man diving off of a production truck. That’s just entertaining stuff folks.
Match Rating: ***

The Big Show def. John Morrison, CM Punk, Chavo Guerrero, & Tommy Dreamer
Color me surprised because this match greatly exceeded my expectations. Once I heard the stipulation for this match, I groaned, finished taking a shit, and then groaned again. Then when I saw that the canes placed on poles before the match, I thought we were going to have a contender for worst match of the year. But these guys beat the crap out of each other and seeing Shawn Merriman cane the crap out of Chavo was enough to make this match good in my book.
Match Rating: ***

John Cena def. JBL
This was another match that surprised me because typically First Blood matches suck ass, but these guys were able to make it interesting by constantly covering up everytime they were struck in the head which added to the suspense. Don’t get me wrong, this match wasn’t great or anything, but it kept my interest which most First Blood matches can’t do. I liked the finish with Cena using the chain to cause JBL to bleed from the mouth (even though it happened way too fast, as soon as Cena put the chain around JBL’s neck, he was already bleeding). Solid stuff between these two.
Match Rating: **1/2

Beth Phoenix def. Melina
Ya’kno how you know this was a pretty good contest? The crowd was soo ready to shit all over this match, including various people trying to start up “Chyna” chants, but it was good enough detain the haters and keep the crowd entertained. These ladies really took it to each other and the finish that saw Beth bend Melina so much that her damn head was touching her feet was unbelievable. I look forward to more matches between these two.
Match Rating: **1/2

Batista def. Shawn Michaels
This match wasn’t quite as good as I was expecting it to be, but it was still a damn good contest. Batista beating the crap out of HBK and proclaiming, “Just so you know, I DON’T love you and I’m NOT sorry” was quite glorious. I love the mini-plot with Jericho as I have no idea where it’s leading. My gut tells me that Jericho didn’t really come out to “encourage” Shawn, but rather to piss Batista off more to inflict further damage on HBK. But then again, they’ve swerved everyone so far in this feud because we all thought by now one of the three men involved would turn heel and yet they all remain faces. I look forward to see how this turns out.
Match Rating: ***1/2

Triple H def. Randy Orton to retain the WWE Championship
It’s hard to rate this one because it looked like they were headed towards a great match until Randy’s unfortunate injury. It really sucks that he got hurt, but seeing as he was planning on taking time off soon anyway, it probably worked out for the best. I will say, though, that he really needs to stop taking that bump where the RKO is reversed to him getting dumped on the floor. Everytime I used to see it, I would cringe because I felt he could get hurt doing that and sure enough, he did. This was good stuff before the injury and I can only imagine how good it could have been if it weren’t cut short.
Match Rating: **1/2

Edge def. The Undertaker to become the NEW World Heavyweight Championship
This was great stuff. I expected it to be good, but it was even better than I imagined. If it weren’t for Edge setting back a table that fell for no apparent reason and The Undertaker being VERY obvious to line up the ladder with the tables on the outside, this match might have been worthy of 5 stars. It featured some great action and wicked spots like Edge getting the Last Ride through two tables, Undertaker taking NUMEROUS unprotected chairshots to the head, the Edgeheads both getting thrown the tables on the outside and the Undertaking crashing through four tables off of a ladder. I never though I’d see ‘Taker take such a risky bump, I thought for sure when I saw those tables being set up that Edge was going to be the one going through them. This was a fantastic match that I cant wait to watch again.
Match Rating: ****1/4

Overall Show Thoughts
This was a very fun show to watch. Everything was entertaining, I can honestly say that I wasn’t bored throughout the entire time I was watching it. If the Orton/HHH match hadn’t been cut short, this could have seriously been in the running for PPV of the year. As it is, it’s a very good show that I would definitely recommend you check out if you have three hours to spare.
Show Rating: 7.75(Out Of Ten)

The Top Twenty Matches of the 1980’s

20) Greg Valentine vs. Roddy Piper (Starrcade ’83)
This is old school brutality at its finest. This was a blood feud and the only way to settle the issues between these two men was in a brutal dog collar match which strapped both men to each other via a steel chain dog collar around their necks. These two beat the piss out of each other with that chain including Valentine wrapping the chain around Piper’s eyes and Piper attempting to suffocate Valentine by covering his entire mouth with the steel chain. Valentine would soon target Piper’s ear and brutalize it with some stiff shots with the steel chain until Piper’s ear was gushing blood. Valentine would lock in a sleeper and all hope seemed to be lost for Piper, until he was able to fight back with the steel chain. Valentine was once again able to gain control of the match until he missed an elbow drop which allowed Piper to cover him for the three count. This was one hell of an intense brawl that still holds up well nearly 25 years later.

19) The Rock N Roll Express vs. The Andersons (Starrcade ’86)
If you love cage matches and classic tag team wrestling, this is the perfect match for you. These two teams put on one hell of a wrestling exhibition and Ricky Morton played well…..Ricky Morton to perfection. The crowd was absolutely rabid as The Andersons displayed perfect tag team wrestling by singling out Morton and wearing him down. Morton’s near tags had the crowd freaking out, including one where he was thisclose to tagging Gibson and then got NAILED with a foot to the head by Ole. The end came when Gibson couldn’t stand watching the abuse Morton was taking anymore and ran in, then delivered a dropkick to Ole which enabled Ricky to use his last bit of energy to cover for the pin. This is CLASSIC stuff here.

18) The Rockers vs. Buddy Rose & Doug Somers (AWA, 9/2/86)
This was a match early in the career of Shawn Michaels and he knew how to do a great bladejob even back then. This was just a brutal contest that saw the bigger team of Rose and Somers decimate the Rockers and open both of them up. The Rockers started fighting back and soon they were able to bloody up their opponents by busting Somers wide open. I mean the dude was bleeding all over the ring. This wild match continued until Rose clocked a ref and that was enough for a DQ. Even after the match was over, the Rockers continued to brawl with Somers and Rose on the floor until there was blood on the ring apron, on the floor, and even on the camera. Just a truly wild, bloody contest.

17) Sgt. Slaughter vs. Pat Patterson (MSG, 5/4/81)
This was an alley fight during the famous feud between Slaughter and Patterson during early 1981. The rules were that there was no ref and the match would be over when one man could no longer stand up. These two men beat the absolute shit out of each other, I mean if you didn’t know better you would think it was a legit fight. Slaughter bled a mind-boggling amount as his entire face and tank top were drenched in blood. The ring and Patterson were covered with the Sarge’s blood as well. Patterson eventually won the match when Slaughter’s manager, The Grand Wizard, threw in the towel for him. This was just an unbelievably bloody contest and if you’re a fan of bloody matches and have never seen this one, I suggest you try to find a copy ASAP.

16) Ric Flair vs. Kerry Von Erich (WCCW Christmas Star Wars ’82)
This match is mainly remembered for the Freebirds turning heel on Kerry Von Erich and setting up the awesome Freebirds/Von Erichs feud, but what is forgotten is that this was one hell of a match. Michael Hayes was the special ref for the match (even though there already an official ref for the match….don’t ask) and Terry Gordy was the special outside enforcer to make sure nobody tried to get in the cage. This was a brutal and bloody affair with Flair being busted open early in the match by being repeatedly thrown into the cage and then working on Kerry’s leg in order to end the punishment. Flair cinched in the Figure 4 and after a few minutes (literally) in the hold, Von Erich was able to reverse the hold. From there, Kerry gave Flair a taste of his own medicine by working over his legs. Flair fought back and went up top to try to chop down Von Erich, but instead got met with the Claw! That seemed to be the end for Ric, but he was just able to get his foot under the rope. Flair soon regained control by choking out Von Erich despite repeated warnings from Hayes, so Hayes said, “Fuck It” and knocked out Flair. He then told Von Erich to cover for the win, but Kerry refused since he wanted to win the match by himself. That pissed Hayes off and he began to walk out of the cage, but at the same time, Flair recovered to give Kerry a high knee, which knocked him right into Hayes. Terry Gordy, taking offense that Kerry bumped into Hayes, slammed the cage door on his head. That seemed to be the end for Kerry, but he was able to kick out at 2 (which the official ref counted). That pissed Hayes off and he got in the face of the official ref which got him promptly ejected to the back. The match continued and it seemed like Kerry was going to overcome all the odds, until he collapsed due to all the punishment he had received. That automatically gave Flair the victory as everyone was concerned with Kerry’s condition. This was an entertaining spectacle with one hell of a heel turn, but it was also an awesome match to boot as Flair led Von Erich to one of his best matches ever.

15) The Rockers vs. The Brainbusters (MSG 1/23/89)
This is what tag team wrestling is all about. Pacing, timing, exciting, and keeping the crowd on the edge of their seats. The Rockers dominated the early portions of this match by giving the Busters a taste of their own medicine by heeling it up. The Busters were finally able to gain control when Tully lured Michaels around the ring until Arn blindsided him with a vicious clothesline. At that point, The Busters secluded Michaels and started pounding on him. Everytime Michaels got close to a tag, The Busters would cut him off and the crowd would get even more antsy. Michaels finally got the hot tag and The Rockers cleaned house until Arn tripped up Marty on a suplex attempt which allowed Tully to cover for the three count. This match is just unbelievable and needs to be seen by anyone who calls themselves a wrestling fan.

14) Ric Flair vs. Lex Luger (Great American Bash ’88)
Believe it or not, there was a time when Lex Luger could actually go in the ring and this is a classic example of it. This was a match for the NWA World Title and Luger was hungry from the outset of the match. He completely dominated the early going until Flair was able to bait him outside to rake his eyes and start chopping away. Flair then took over from there and after a valiant attempt at a comeback by Luger, Flair focused on the leg and began dissecting it.

13) The Midnight Express vs. The Fantastics (Clash Of The Champions I)
Many people remember Clash I for Flair/Sting or the tag match between Barry Windham & Lex Lugar against Tully Blanchard & Arn Anderson, but in my opinion THIS was the match that stole the show. This match was just an all-out brawl with both teams hitting each other with whatever they could get their hands on including tables and chairs and featured some insane action like Bobby Eaton delivering a mother f-ing bulldog to Tommy Rogers through a table. The Midnights secluded Rogers for the majority of the match until Rogers was able to get the hot tag (which the ref missed and got promptly thrown on his ass for) and that made the match break down into a PIER SIX BRAWL!~! The ending came when Jim Cornette accidentally hit Bobby Eaton with the RACKET OF DOOM which allowed the Fantastics to hit The Rocket Launcher on him for the three count. But then the ref that was initially thrown out on his ass for missing the hot tag came back in the ring and DQ’d The Fantastics for putting their hands on him. This was just a hotly contested match that featured some brawling that was way ahead of its time and showed why The Midnights weren’t just the best tag team of their day, but maybe the best tag team ever.

12) Ric Flair vs. Terry Funk (Great American Bash ’89)
This was the main event for what some consider to be the greatest PPV of all time. The backstory for this match was that Terry Funk was a judge in the final match between Flair and Steamboat and after Flair won, he asked for a title shot and once Flair declined, Funk went apeshit and beat the hell out of Flair including a piledriver on a table. This match was filled with fast paced, intense and violent action. Both men just beat the holy hell out of each other with Flair piledriving Funk twice, Funk WHACKING Flair in the head with a branding iron, Flair returning the favor by CRACKING Funk in the head with the same branding iron, and Flair backdropping Funk on the concrete floor. The match ended after both men unsuccessfully tried to lock in their submission moves and once Funk went for an inside cradle, Flair countered by rolling into it and getting the 3 count. This was just an awesome, brutal match that is a testimony to how great both men were during their prime.

11) Ric Flair vs. Barry Windham (Crockett Cup ’87)
This was a rematch to the classic they had on World Wide Wrestling and these two easily tore the house down once again. Flair was able to lock in The Figure 4 early in the match, but Windham shrugged that off and began to pummel the crap out of Ric. The crowd was SUPER hot as they really felt that Windham had Flair’s number. Windham continued his relentless onslaught on Flair, including punching him so hard that Flair FLEW over the top rope. That was pretty awesome. Flair was able to gain control by countering an attempted piledriver on the floor by backdropping Windham onto the concrete. Flair took over from there, but it wasn’t long until Windham fought back and was able to pin Flair for the 3 count following a missile dropkick! Not so fast, though, because Flair had his foot on the ropes so referee Tommy Young restarted the match. Once the match was restarted, the two men created numerous false finishes until Flair was able to grab Windham’s tights to get the three count. This is a fantastic match that is definitely worth going out of your way to see.

10) Ric Flair vs. Harley Race (Starrcade ’83)
Classic, classic, classic match. This one had it all. It was over the prestigious NWA Heavyweight title. It had the $25,000 bounty storyline(which would later be poorly duplicated by HHH and Goldberg) where Harley offered 25 G’s to whoever took Flair out. Dick Slater and Bob Orton, Jr. answered the bounty and jacked up Flair’s neck. Flair teased retirement only to come back and chase them off with a bat then give a CRAZY Flair promo. And we all know that CRAZY Flair promos rule. This match took place at the first Starrcade and was the first time that Flair was introduced as being from North Carolina. Flair bled like a champ, Race beat him down like a badass, but Flair still pulled it out and the crowd went crazy. An awesome, historical match.

9) Ric Flair vs. Barry Windham (World Wide Wrestling, 1/20/87)
This was the legendary one hour (actually 45 minute) draw on Worldwide TV which some felt was right up their with Savage/Steamboat as the greatest match of 1987. I honestly can’t disagree because this match was non-stop action and had you on the edge of your seat for the entire duration. Barry Windham may be one of the most underrated performers of all-time and being matched up with Flair automatically made this an instant classic. What’s so great about this match is that it seemed so effortless meaning that sometimes when watching a match, you could see the wrestlers strategizing about the next spot, but in this match everything was so damn fluid. It was truly a wonder to behold. Windham dominated the early portions of the match by using his speed and strength as an advantage over Flair, but soon Flair gained control by working over Windham’s arm. Windham was able to slug Flair to get back into things, but it wasn’t too long until Flair went after Windham’s leg. Barry fought off the onslaught to begin working over Flair’s leg and it became a game of who was going to make the other submit first as both men targeted each other’s leg. The final minute was breathtaking as Windham did everything in his power to pin Flair before the time limit was reached, but Flair was barely able to kick out of a Lariat just as time expired. Awesome match that often gets overlooked, but it definitely is one of the greatest matches of both men’s careers.

8) Magnum TA vs. Tully Blanchard (Starrcade ’85)
This was the very definition of a blood feud so it was only fitting that both men would bleed all over the ring. Tully had stolen away Magnum’s US title due to shenanigans with an illegal object. TA was out for his revenge and his title in a steel cage I Quit match. Both men beat the crap out of each other and had blood pouring down their heads. The image of Magnum’s expression when he realized he’d been busted open is priceless. The match ended when Magnum jammed a splintered piece of chair into Tully’s forehead allowing blood to squirt out and making Tully scream “YESSS” when asked if he quits. This was a timeless, violent encounter.

7) Ric Flair vs. Sting (Clash Of The Champions I)
This was the match that made Sting’s career. Flair bumped all over the place for The Stinger in this match and I still feel to this day that in this match, Flair automatically turned Sting into a main event player. Sting was an up-and-comer at this point, but after this match he became the biggest face in WCW(well NWA at the time). This was for Flair’s NWA title and there was a 45-minute time limit. Sting took it to Flair in this match and had the champ on the ropes at numerous times. With 30 seconds left before the time limit, Sting was able to lock in the Deathlock, but Flair held on until the time expired. The match was declared a draw(which incidentally was funny since before the match it was declared that there MUST BE A WINNER) and a star was born in Sting. He would go on to achieve great success in WCW, but this is the one match that turned him into the face of WCW for over a decade and he definitely has Flair to thank because ‘Naitch put him over HUGE in this contest.

6) Ric Flair, Tully Blanchard, Arn Anderson, Lex Luger & JJ Dillon vs. Dusty Rhodes, Nikita Koloff, The Road Warriors, & Paul Ellering (Great American Bash ’87)
This was the first ever Wargames Match during the ‘Bash tour of 1987 and it was just as awesome as everyone thought it would be. Dusty and Arn started the match with some great back and forth interactions for about 5 minutes until the heel team won the coin toss and Tully came in. Dusty was able to fight off both men for a while, but it wasn’t too long until the odds were too much and the future Brainbusters started dissecting Rhodes. That advantage would be voided when Animal came in next and proceeded to beat the crap out of Tully and Arn, especially Tully. Flair was next and he helped the heel team regain control until Koloff came in and beat the shit out of every heel in sight. Luger came in next to ward off Koloff and Flair gave him a wicked shot to the nuts which allowed both Flair and Tully to give Koloff two spike piledrivers. Dillon came in next followed by Ellering and after over 20 minutes of sheer brutality, the ending came when The Road Warriors pounded on Dillon unmercifully until he finally submitted. This is an all-time classic that features a wondrous amount of brutality and blood.

5) Ric Flair vs. Terry Funk (Clash Of The Champions 9)
Five Letters. Two Words. I Quit. Those words spoken by the great Gordon Solie made it seem like uttering those words would be so simple, but these two warriors would engage in an intense battle before either one even thought to say it. Flair dominated early with some wicked chops, but Funk proved himself to be a tough son-of-a-bitch by absorbing those stiff blows and fighting back. Funk would then dominate the next portion of the match with some hard left hand shots and some insulting slaps to the face. Those slaps were enough to awaken Flair and from that point on, all hell broke loose. Flair chopped the hell out of Funk all around ringside and tried to get his hands on Funk’s manager, Gary Hart, which enabled Funk to gain control. Then in a great little sequence, Funk asked Flair if he remembered about his injured neck (from the plane crash) and told the ref to ask Flair to quit before he piledrived him and when Flair refused to quit, Funk not only piledrived him in the ring, but piledrived him on the floor as well. Brutal stuff at the time. Funk continued to dominate and tried to set up a table, but Flair fought back and then, in one of the coolest spots ever, Flair threw Funk across the table and headfirst into a steel chair. It’s hard to describe, but awesome to look at. Flair dominated the rest of the match, but Funk showed incredible resiliency by taking the onslaught by Flair and not quitting until Flair locked in the Figure-4 in the middle of the ring and Funk had no choice but to quit. A great, intense brawl that set the standard for all I Quit matches that followed.

4) Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat (Chi-Town Rumble ’89)
This was the first encounter between Flair and Steamboat in their legendary 1989 series of matches and this match gave a sign of all the greatness that was to follow. Steamboat was a family man who wanted to bring honor and prestige back to the World Heavyweight Title and Flair was the stylin’, profilin’ Champion that thought of Steamboat as a bore. Steamboat was able to dominate early by winning some lightning quick exchanges and surprised Flair by just how quick he was. Flair was able to regain control later in the match with some wicked chop. Then these two men had one of the best exchanges I’ve ever seen as Flair flipped over the top rope and climbed to the top for a crossbody, but Steamboat was able to counter into a roll up for a two count and when both men got up, Flair was able to hit a reverse atomic drop and apply the Figure-4. That’s the kind of stuff that leaves you breathless as a fan, just a terrific exchange. Steamboat was able to get to the ropes to break the hold and after both men exchanged some stiff shots, Flair ran the ropes and crossbodied Steamboat over the top rope. Flair dominated from that point on and seemed to be on the verge of retaining his title until Steamboat fought back and came off the top rope with a crossbody that knocked not only Flair out, but the referee as well. With the ref out, Flair tried to take advantage, but Steamboat was able to roll him up to pick up the three count and the World Heavyweight Championship. Despite the ref bump, this match was absolutely flawless but who knew that these two would go on top this terrific performance.

3) Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat (Wrestlemania 3)
Whenever you think of all-time great Wrestlemania matches, this has to be one of the first to come to mind. Not only did they have an excellent storyline attached to this match, but both of these combatants put on one hell of a show in front of the Silverdome crowd. This was a great back and forth contest that saw an unbelievable amount of near falls and the crowd was left on the edge of their seat during the entire match because it seemed like it could end at any moment. The end came when George “The Animal” Steele knocked Macho off of the top rope and by the time he recovered to pick up Steamboat for a scoop slam, Steamboat was able to counter into a rollup for the three count. This is a great, timeless match that has to be viewed by anybody who calls themselves a fan of wrestling.

2) Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat (Clash Of The Champions 6)
This was the rematch to their classic encounter at Chi-Town Rumble and this match was contested under 2/3 falls rules. The first fall was intense as both men slapped each other in the face and chopped the shit out of each other before getting down to some frenetic action. The chops that these two gave each other sounded like gunshots going off, they were just absolutely VICIOUS. The first fall ended after Steamboat missed a missile dropkick which made Flair go for the Figure-4, but Steamboat was able to counter into a roll-up, but then Flair REVERSED that into a roll-up of his own for the three count. Steamboat started the second fall feverishly knowing that his back was against the wall. He delivered some wicked chops before dropping about 14 or 15 elbows in a row onto Flair’s knee. Flair seemed dead to the world by that point until Steamboat locked in a Boston Crab which had Flair screaming in agony. Flair was able to fight out of it and get back into the match until Steamboat was able to hoist him up into a Double Chickenwing and that proved to be to much for Flair as he submitted and lost the second fall. That was monumental not only because it tied the match up, but because it was the first time Flair had ever submitted. Flair realizing that he was in bad shape, immediately went after Steamboat knee in the third fall and was soon able to cinch in the Figure-4. Steamboat was able to make the ropes, though, much to Flair’s chagrin. Then, in one of my most markish moments ever, Steamboat sends Flair to the buckle but Flair does the Flair Flip and when he tried to run over to the other turnbuckle, Steamboat chops the shit out of him and knocks ‘Naitch down on the apron. I jumped out of seat and applauded the first time I saw that, great stuff. The fall continued with some great back and forth exchanges until Steamboat got Flair up in the Double Chickenwing again, but this time Steamboat’s legs had sustained too much damage and they buckled underneath him. This made Flair land on top of Steamboat, put seeing that his shoulders were down, the referee counted the three count against Flair, despite the fact that his leg was under the bottom rope. Thus, Steamboat retained his championship, albeit under controversial terms. This classic match would then be followed up by…..

1) Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat (WrestleWar ’89)
Many people prefer their Clash VI match, but I still think that this match is the best pure wrestling match I’ve ever seen. This match also had a clean finish unlike their two previous encounters, which ended in controversy. This contest also started to signal a babyface turn for Flair as the crowd was behind Steamboat, but you heard some very audible cheers for The Nature Boy. This was a great back and forth contest where it seemed like either man at any given moment was going to pick up the win. The near falls left you breathless because they were so believable. The ending was great and an homage to Steamboat’s match against Randy Savage as Steamboat scooped up Flair for a slam, but Flair was able to counter the slam into a rollup for the three count. The carnage that followed this match is equally as memorable as Terry Funk, who was a ringside judge, went on a vicious assault of Flair (including a piledriver on a table) for not granting him a title shot. All in all, this is one of the greatest matches ever wrestled for one of the greatest feuds ever and, in my opinion, it is easily the best match in the history of WCW.

The Sign-Off

I’m outta here peeps. But bring your stank ass back here next week when we look at The Top Matches of the 1990’s. Be sure to bring your Nirvana CD, Beavis & Butthead shirts, and Walker, Texas Ranger references.