Universal Wrestling Federation (11.29.1986) Review

-Cold open: Jim Duggan beats the living hell out of the Libyan last week.

-Originally aired November 29, 1986, although the Tandy 2000-rendered graphic at the opening says this specific copy of the episode came from the Mid-South Classics rerun package.

-Your host is Jim Ross. Mildly interesting point–it appears that somebody MAY have suggested that “Universal Wrestling Federation” is a fine name for a promotion but not a great one for a TV show, because all of a sudden JR seems to be workshopping just calling the show “Universal Wrestling.” Of course, the problem with that is that it sounds like the promotion is connected to Universal Studios, and who the hell is going to watch a wrestling promotion that tapes at Universal Studios?

HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN & TERRY TAYLOR vs. ART CREWS & GUSTAVO MENDOZA
-Taylor slams Crews around while JR announces that Duggan has been fined for his conduct in the Libyan match last week. Mendoza tags in and gets trapped in the AMERICAN corner, and gets elbowed down. This feels like the kind of squash you’d see on WWF-TV at this point, where two babyfaces who rarely/never cross paths are suddenly working a squash together.

-Taylor five-arms Crews to the floor as Duggan spears Mendoza for a quick three-count.

-Saturday December 27, the UWF returns to COWTOWN for a Power Pro taping, and in the dark match main event, the UWF gets in on the house show pissing match of the year with, you guessed it, a BUNKHOUSE BATTLE ROYAL. But this bunkhouse battle royal is different! This one’s a great jazz musician!…and it’s first blood rules, too.

-JR is now joined on commentary by Sunshine, because Michael Hayes is too damn ANGRY to do commentary. Hayes is in the locker room with Terry Gordy, who promises that his arm is gonna heal up soon, and he’s going to get his revenge on Steve Williams for injuring him, AND on One Man Gang for stealing his belt.

-We flash back to The Severe Beating of a Pretty Boy Tag Team from last week, as Angel of Death and the Freebirds render the Fantastics a bloody mess.

TV CHAMPION: SAVANNAH JACK (Champion) vs. THE LIBYAN
-Well, naturally, Libyan is the number one contender after his stellar showing last week.

-Jack slams the Libyan and hiptosses him. Dropkick by Jack. Libyan tries to get the ball rolling with a backdrop, but Jack lands on his feet and KOs the Libyan with a superkick for three. Sunshine actually alludes to JYD here, saying that Jack reminds her of someone that crossed the Freebirds years ago, and he’s going to have to suffer the same way.

-Dr. Death declares himself “the Hit Man of the UWF.” And then he goes on the weirdest tirade about University of Georgia sophomore Bill Goldberg and complains that he can’t work safely.

-We get a brief feature on a fundraiser house show that the UWF recently did to raise money for the Arkansas Vietnam Veterans Memorial, and hey, good for them. No snark here.

CHAVO GUERRERO vs. HOLLYWOOD JOHN TATUM
-Chavo scientifics Tatum with a side headlock, then follows with two dropkicks. Tatum does the old-timey fisticuffs pose before collapsing to the mat, and Jack Victory hurries to the ring to give him a motivational hug. Chavo gets distracted by Victory and Tatum capitalizes with a sneak attack. Chavo revives and goes for the surfboard. Forearms by Chavo, but Tatum ducks a flying headbutt and Chavo takes out referee Tommy Gilbert.

-Chavo heads to the top for a moonsault. Victory comes in and rescues his partner, but he ends up taking the brunt of the moonsault himself. Referee revives and calls for the DQ, and Chavo escapes an attempted ass-kicking after the bell.

EDDIE GILBERT (with Rick Steiner & Missy Hyatt) vs. KEN MASSEY
Eddie is wearing sunglasses and using a folding chair as a cane because he’s blind. Dark Journey blinded him with yellow paint and and could be “blind for life,” so he emotionally declares that he has to sit this one out and Rick is going to wrestle the match for him.

-Steiner immediately turns Massey upside-down and rams him into the corner, and a belly-to-belly gives him a speedy win.

PRO WRESTLING ILLUSTRATED TOURNAMENT, FIRST ROUND: “Dr. Death” STEVE WILLIAMS vs. STING (with Eddie Gilbert)
-First match in the tournament, with the eventual winner to receive $50,000 from the magazine. Think of all the mail-order muscle-building kits you can buy with that! They show the cover of of the current issue of PWI, which has seven of the tournament participants posing together, and since Dr. Death is on the cover and Sting isn’t, I’m gonna go ahead and venture a guess about the outcome of this one.

-Doc wins the opening shoving contest. Sting hits the ropes and Doc just tackles him, sending Sting to the floor. Sting comes back with elbows and fists, but he comes off the turnbuckle for a splash and meets the raised knees. Doc throws right hands and clotheslines the Stinger for two. Stampede appears to finish but Missy distracts the referee, but here’s a twist on the formula. The Stampede is so effective that after Missy is done with the distraction, the referee turns around and STILL manages to count three. Doc was the winner, but again, you can’t help notice Sting’s week-by-week visible improvement in there.

PRO WRESTLING ILLUSTRATED TOURNAMENT, FIRST ROUND: ONE MAN GANG (UWF Champion, with Skandor Akbar) vs. JEFF GAYLORD
-Gang’s on the cover, Gaylord ain’t.

-Gang earns his nickname by hammering away at Gaylord in moon-like fashion. Gaylord tries to get things going, but Gang reverses an attempted Irish whip. Avalanche, splash, the end.

WILD BILL IRWIN (with Skandor Akbar & Leroy Brown) vs. GARY YOUNG
-Irwin pounds, Young punches, Irwin slams, Irwin drops the elbow, Young puts a foot on the ropes, Irwin boots him, Irwin wins. Leroy attacks Young after the bell, and Jim Duggan & Terry Taylor are so appalled by the bad sportsmanship that they come to ringside, threatening to get a rumble started as the credits roll.

7.9

The final score: review Good

The 411

I had fun.