wrestling / Video Reviews
USWA Championship Wrestling (6.2.1990) Review
Loading...-Originally aired June 2, 1990.
-Your host is Michael St. John in the control room. He leads off by teasing that there’s a NEW Dirty White Boy.
-We go to Dallas, where Percy Pringle interviews Jeff Jarrett. It’s not even a Percy’s Pit segment or anything like that, they’re just so depleted that they’re wasting him as a neutral/babyface commentator. Jarrett announces that he’s signed a contract for a one-on-one match against Ronnie P. Gossett. Jarrett calls Gossett “fat, rotund, and obese,” so Roget is booking for the promotion now. Gossett weeble-wobbles his way down to ringside and protests the signing of this match due to his enlarged heart, and besides, what would Jarrett prove by beating up a manager, Gossett asks. Jarrett politely tells him to take off, and when Gossett refuses to leave, Jarrett just gives him a right hand and sends him scurrying off.
“Simply Irresistible” JEFF JARRETT vs. “The Beauty” TERRENCE GARVIN
-You’d think these guys would be a tag team given their names and shared interest in hair care. JJ wrings the arm and hiptosses Garvin around. Garvin tries to stall and just gets a boot in the ass for it. Bodypress by JJ gets two, and he clamps on an armbar. Charge by Jarrett misses and Garvin capitalizes by plating his face in the mat. Forearm off the second rope gets two, but suddenly the Dirty White Boy and the NEW Dirty White Boy hit the ring with Ronnie P. Gossett, and they gang up on Jarrett until Jarrett makes his own save with clotheslines. Jeff Jarrett is beating up four guys at once, so we know whose dad is in charge now. And then in the most ridiculous thing they could have done, Billy Joe Travis hits the ring to help his partner, Jeff Jarrett, who is currently kicking four guys’ asses.
-The School’s Out Special in Evansville on Wednesday night! Jeff Jarrett vs. Ronnie P. Gossett, plus a battle royal with the winner getting a title shot against Jerry Lawler immediately afterward.
-Ronnie P. Gossett cuts almost word for word the same promo he already cut.
-We go to the Mid-South Coliseum, where the Southern Rockers are headed back to the locker room after their match when a brawl suddenly breaks out. Johnny “Who the Hell is Johnny Stewart?” Stewart blinds Steve Doll with powder and busts him open while the Dirty White Boys attack Rex King and keep him from making the save. Commentators are wondering why Rex King isn’t helping his partner even though we just saw him get assaulted.
-Back to the studio, where Michael St. John helps contextualize the assault, explaining that Johnny Stewart knew the Southern Rockers when they all wrestled in the Portland territory and he’s shown up in Memphis to take care of a grudge he’s been holding all this time.
-Hollywood John Tatum and Tessa are in the Sportatorium fuming about something that Bill Dundee did to them at a house show last night. Tatum has a really funny look on his face as he totally loses his train of thought, but eventually he gets around to explaining that Tessa tried to throw a loaded boot into the ring and Dundee intercepted it. Their unblinking complaint that Dundee “cheated” by doing this is total heel greatness.
HOLLYWOOD JOHN TATUM vs. ED ROBINSON
-Back suplex by Tatum while Percy Pringle ponders Tessa’s loyalties. Clothesline while Percy Pringle mentions that Robinson is another protege of Chris Adams, which means that there’s some parallel universe where the Attitude Era was defined by “Stone Cold” Ed Robinson. Shinni No Maki gets the submission.
-Another ad for the “Schools Out Special,” but if we don’t know about the necessary apostrophe, maybe we need another week or so of classes.
-Superstar Bill Dundee is here and Hollywood John Tatum returns to ringside quickly and grabs Tessa by the neck, ordering her to profess her love for John.. Classic heel mistake by Dundee, turning his back, and Tatum attacks and opens him up by sending him into the post. Tatum keeps hammering him as Tessa begs him to stop, but Dundee is a bloody mess as Pringle is being somebody to come to the ring and help, because Bronco Lubbich is just standing there in his ref uniform and staring like he’s thinking “Yup, fella’s gettin’ beat up real good, I tell you what.”
DIRTY WHITE BOYS (with Ronnie P. Gossett) vs. COLIN ORSACH & CHICO TORRES
-The new DWB is finally named, Tom Burton. Percy Pringle simply says that Gossett “got rid of Alex Porteau.” Colin Orsach just gets mauled and left for dead on the concrete while Percy Pringle asks for medical attention. Meanwhile, the DWBs are double-teaming Torres in the ring. Torres starts to fight back, but the referee just abruptly calls for the bell, and Pringle indicates that the match never officially started and we need a new partner for Torres.
-Torres can only put up so much of a fight but gets overwhelmed by the DWBs while Gossett gloats. And then Billy Joe Travis hits the ring as only he can–way the hell late–and clears the ring. So we pause for a commercial and return with Travis now officially in the match as Torres’ tag team partner. Travis fights the world but makes the usual SD Jones/Paul Roma-style mistake of tagging out, so Torres is back to being legally murdered.
-Gossett and Pringle call the kettle black by swapping “fat” insults as the White Boys keep the assault going, and it’s amazing to me how damn LONG this goes on. That’s a fascinating thing about this merger–they kept the styles of the two cities unique, so basically, there’s some magical property about the air in Memphis that allows you to squash a jobber in 90 seconds, but in Dallas, it still takes ten damn minutes.
-Hot tag finally made to Travis and we end up with all four men in the ring. Burton and Travis end up on the floor. Travis gets rammed into the post and now he’s bleeding, and the referee has finally had enough and calls for the bell to stop the chaos. Gossett attacks the bloodied and battered Travis with his shoe after the bell.
-And really, we should have just ended the show right there and it would have been a hell of an ending, but everyone’s timing was off by two minutes so we run out the clock with the closing moments of a Steve Austin squash. Percy calls him “Stunning Steven.”
