Worth Your Wealth? 04.28.08: WWE Backlash

Hello again, 411 readers! “The One-Man Ratings Booster” here with another edition of “Worth Your Wealth?”! The idea is that you spend your hard-earned dollars on wrestling on a monthly basis, and I want you
to know whether or not you’re getting your moneys worth. So read on and see if you’re investing wisely of if your cash is going to waste…

WWE Backlash – Worth Your Wealth?

First, as always, we start off with our super-scientific formula for calculating the projected worth of each part of the show. Keep in mind I round things to the nearest nickel, so as not to piss myself off. Oh, and for the purposes of this column, I don’t have HD and neither do you.
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P = 2(A)x + 1.5(B)x + 1(C)x + 0.1(P)

Ten-percent of the PPV price accounts for non-wrestling related activities, such as in-ring promos, backstage segments, video packages, etc. Aside from that, A B and C represent the different classes of matches on the card:

Class C: Filler matches with little to no solid build behind them.
Class B: Secondary, but still significant matches that were well-promoted prior to the show.
Class A: The main event, as well as other high-profile, heavily promoted matches on the card.
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The Breakdown (as I see it):

Class C: The Big Show vs. The Great Khali and Team Phoenix vs. Team Mickie
Class B: MVP vs. Matt Hardy, Kane vs. Chavo Guererro, and Shawn Michaels vs. Batista.
Class A: Undertaker vs. Edge and Randy Orton vs. Triple H vs. John Cena vs. JBL.

The Calculation (as the universe sees it):
40 = 2(2)x + 1.5(3)x + 1(2)x + 0.1(40)
40 = 4x + 4.5x + 2x + 4
36 = 10.5x
x = 3.45

The Result (as you will see it):
Class A: $6.90
Class B: $5.20
Class C: $3.45
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And now, THE GOODNESS!

Bonus Materials – Price Tag: $4.00

First off, Jim Ross was the man tonight, sending things over to “Mike Adamle and THE TAZZ”. See what he did there? He’s reminding us all that Mike Adamle is a complete idiot. Also, yay for Mick Foley replacing The Coach. “Those shoes are almost as small as the ones Coach left for me to fill!” Classic.

As for the backstage stuff, there wasn’t much this time around. Matt Hardy’s post-victory speech was heartfelt. It was great to see him get a few moments on the mic to really put-over his title win. The stuff with Randy Orton making the rounds backstage making snide little comments to his challengers wasn’t really anything to write home about. However, I enjoyed the Jimmy Wang Yang sighting and CM Punks brief cameo wishing Orton luck. With him not actually having a match on the card, this was a slick little way to remind people he’s still running around back there waiting for his moment to cash the case in.

Overall Value: $4.00 – Nothing to complain about, but nothing really fantastic to earn the extra cash.

United States Championship: Matt Hardy def. MVP (c) via Pinfall (Twist of Fate) to win the United States Championship- Price Tag: $5.20

So we finally came to the long-awaited title match between MVP and Matt Hardy, almost an entire year in the making. This was, I thought, the perfect match to start the show. I had really high hopes for this match, especially considering Hardy’s work since his Wrestlemania return. The match these two had on Smackdown a few weeks ago was great and this really had the makings of a great PPV match. Unfortunately, something just didn’t seem to click between these guys this time around. The match wasn’t BAD, it just didn’t deliver on the level I was expecting. There were some decent spots, but it seemed pretty sluggish throughout and there were a few sloppy spots in there too. In the end, I liked the build to the finish with MVP being a total dick and just nailing Matt in the head repeatedly…but then the match ended and I just felt like, “that was it?”

Congratulations to Matt, he really deserves a title run, I just wish he would have won in a bit more exciting fashion.

Overall Value: $4.00 due to being generally sluggish and underwhelming. Here’s hoping the probable rematch turns out to be a bit more entertaining.

ECW Championship: Kane (c) def. Chavo Guererro (w/ Bam Neeley) via Pinfall (Chokeslam) to retain the ECW Championship- Price Tag: $5.20

Mike. Adamle. Is. Terribad. A few gems the guy brought out tonight:
-“Isn’t Chavo risking losing this match by having Bam Neeley interfere like that?”
-“Chavo just flew over the three rings” (Following Chavo diving over the ropes to the floor).
-“One on one, Kane rules” (following a match featuring outside interference).
Poor Tazz spent half the match covering up this guys mistakes, between having to explain to him that the ref was distracted and that’s why the interference wasn’t dangerous and rebounding from Adamle completely no-selling the 5 on 1 beat down from Tuesday and the interference tonight. Jesus.

Anyway…

The match itself, I thought, was pretty entertaining for what I was expecting going in. I had my doubts about Chavo and Kane working an actual match together, but I can’t say I really had any problems with the way it turned out. Chavo looked really good keeping Kane grounded for quite a while and working the knee injury from Tuesday’s show. Kane got to work his monster schtick, no sell a frog splash, and nail a Chokeslam to retain. Wasn’t anything great, but I have no complaints.

Overall Value: $4.70 due to overall goodness and no complaints.

The Big Show def. The Great Khali via Pinfall (Chokeslam) – Price Tag: $3.45

I really wish this match hadn’t even been on the card. If anybody can explain to me why they took Show fresh off his return and high-profile feud with Floyd Mayweather and stuck him straight into a match with arguably the worst match on the roster, I’d love to know. I get it, they’re both tall and strong. Doesn’t mean it was a good idea. On top of the match being a horrible idea to begin with, they made things worse by giving Khali a mountain of offense against Show. Sure, Show got the win but did we really need to see Khali’s lumbering offense for 7 minutes beforehand? Let’s hope WWE got this crap out of their system and Show moves on to something more worthwhile.

Overall Value: $1.00 due to general suckage.

Special Guest Referee Chris Jericho: Shawn Michaels def. Batista via Pinfall (Sweet Chin Music)- Price Tag: $5.20

It’s no secret that I thought Chris Jericho was completely wasted this month by being tossed into this match. And sure enough, they made it even more pointless by having him call things straight without an ounce of controversy. I would have loved to have seen a Jericho heel turn here, setting up an awesome summer feud with HBK. Instead, we got a match where Jericho wearing the stripes out there didn’t amount to jack shit.
As far as the action here, this was a HUGE step up for Dave considering his totally disappointing outing against Umaga at Wrestlemania. I was surprised at the amount of offense they gave Shawn early in the match and I enjoyed it quite a bit. You can always depend on a Shawn Michaels match to have plenty of psychology behind it and this one was all about Dave’s arm. Dave got to mount his monster offense which was fine, but in the end he fell victim to the superkick after dropping his guard when it seemed Michaels was hurt. I can’t help but wonder if this is leading to Dave accusing Michaels of playing possum because he knew he was about to lose, setting up a rematch between these guys at Judgment Day. Who knows? I wouldn’t mind it. Just find something else for Jericho to do, rather than wasting his talent and time on literally nothing.

Overall Value: $5.00 due to general goodness. Could have been worth more had Jericho’s presence actually mattered in any way whatsoever.

Team Phoenix (Beth Phoenix, Natalya, Victoria, Jigglin’ Hall, Melina, and Layla) def. Team Mickie (Mickie James, Michelle McCool, Cherry, Ashley, Maria, and Kelly Kelly) when Beth Phoenix pinned Ashley (Fisherwoman’s Suplex) – Price Tag: $3.45

Hey, this could have been A LOT worse. WWE played things smart here, keeping the likes of Kelly Kelly, Layla, Maria, and Ashley on the apron for the majority of the match. We got some nice action out of the more talented Diva’s, which makes me kind of sad that half of them are stuck on Smackdown with no title to compete for. I have to admit I’m digging the slow development of Cherry into something worth caring about, rather than just following around the DnD. She was so excited after taking down Melina, I thought she was hilarious jumping up and down clapping. I enjoyed the finisher merry-go-round towards the end and was pleased to see the heel team get the win considering they were stacked with more talent. Also, it was a good call to job out Ashley so as not to hurt new champion Mickie James. Also, everyone hates Ashley in the ring anyway. Overall, this was a surprisingly not-horrible match, which it definitely had the potential to be.

Overall Value: $3.45 because I honestly enjoyed it for what it was and can’t really complain about anything. Actually, I take that back, I can complain about all the talent trapped with nothing to do on Smackdown…

World Heavyweight Championship: The Undertaker (c) def. Edge via Submission (GOGOPLATA!) – Price Tag: $6.90

These guys set the bar pretty high at Wrestlemania, and while they put on another good show tonight they didn’t top their outing last month. At the start of the match, I didn’t think they were selling Taker being worn down vs. Edge being totally fresh nearly enough. Edge definitely should have gotten the initial momentum to sell all the damage Taker had sustained in the past month while Edge was at the spa, at least in my opinion.
I should also point out that the presence of Mick Foley over Jonathan Coachman did wonders for this match, as Foley put over Taker like mad as a guy who knows first hand while also selling Edge’s overall excellent record against the Phenom. Plus, we did not once hear “vintage Undertaker!”, “Ultimate Opportunist!”, or “The best pure striker in the history of the game!”…maybe somebody told Michael Cole to come up with some new stuff.

Anyway, I enjoyed the match and was glad to see Edge once again kept pace with Taker mostly on his own merits. I was a bit disappointed to see the exact same finish we saw at Wrestlemania, but I kind of saw it coming considering how heavily Cole and Foley were putting over the gogplata at the outset of the match. Overall, a satisfying Wrestlemania rematch.

Overall Value: $7.00 because this was another excellent outing from the best of the blue brand.

Fatal Four-Way Elimination WWE Championship – Triple H def. Randal K. Orton (c), John Cena, and John “Bradshaw” Layfield when he pinned Randy Orton (Pedigree) to become the NEW WWE Champion – Price Tag: $6.90

The match started off with some classic Orton, grabbing the title, going for the cheap-shot, and then kicking it on the outside while the challengers wear each other down. How anyone can not love Randy Orton, I don’t know. The guy is great at what he does. We then saw some nice action between all four men, culminating in a great spot where JBL mocks Orton while he’s stuck in the STFU, only to become trapped in a crossface by HHH. Not surprisingly, JBL was our first elimination, tapping out to the STFU. What DID surprise me, was the immediately following elimination of John Cena via a Concussion Kick from Orton.

We then got a solid 15 or so minutes of singles action between Orton and Triple H, which was mostly enjoyable. Triple H took an awesome beating from Orton and seemed on the verge of defeat, only to (sloppily) reverse an RKO and mount a comeback. From there it was reversal after reversal until HHH finally nailed the Pedigree and officially aborted the Age of Orton. I’d be lying if I said I was pleased with the result here, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that it was an entertaining match. Overall I like the chemistry of Orton/HHH (though not as much as Orton/Cena), so at least we can look forward to a promising rematch at Judgment Day in a few weeks.

Overall Value: $6.90 due to the presence of goodness and lack of badness.
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The Final Tally:

Overall Price Tag: $40.00

Match of the Night: World Heavyweight Championship: The Undertaker vs. Edge – 101% Value ($7.00 worth, $6.90 price tag.)

Trash of the Night: The Big Show vs. The Great Khali – 29% Value ($1.00 worth, $3.45 price tag.)

Overall Value: $36.25

Resulting PPV Rating: A- (90% Worth)

Closing Comments:
Backlash officially comes closest to being worth full price of all the Pay-Per-Views covered by this column so far (yep, all three of ‘em). While no one match on this case had the worth of single matches of other shows, this show overall delivered consistent worth of your wealth. Both main events here delivered full-value at least, which really helped the value of this show. I’d definitely recommend you check out this show, if only to catch the last two matches. Backlash can generally be counted on to deliver an entertaining show and this year did not disappoint. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it!
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Year in Review:

1. WWE Backlash – A- (90% Worth)
Match of the Night: World Heavyweight Championship: The Undertaker vs. Edge – 101% Value ($7.00 Worth, $6.90 price tag).

2. WWE Wrestlemania 24 – B (86% Worth)
Match of the Night: Career-Threatening Match: Shawn Michaels vs. “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair- 116% Value ($8.00 worth, $6.90 price tag).

3. TNA Lockdown – B (83% Worth)
Match of the Night: TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe – 116% Value ($5.00 worth, $4.30 price tag).
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And with that folks, we’ll see you next time!