411’s ECW on Sci-Fi Report 1.02.07

Welcome to the ECW on Sci-Fi and a Happy New Year to one and all.

We start with an opening video to hype up the Bobby Lashley vs. Rob Van Dam title match for tonight’s main event. On another note, the opening video has finally been updated for the new year.

Joey Styles and Tazz at ringside, but we start with Test in the middle of the ring. Test complains about how the fans got to vote for who Lashley got to defend the title against. He says they had a match two week ago and they show the ending of the match, with Test pinning Sabu. Test calls himself a “winner”, but then shows how the fans voted for Rob Van Dam and not himself. Test sarcastically calls RVD’s win a surprise and goes on about how Test can’t lose to Rob van Dam. Again, we go back to two weeks ago and Test’s boot to RVD. Test starts getting pissed and says that he should be the #1 contender as wins are all that matters.

Sabu vs. Test

So Sabu comes out after Test is done ranting. Sabu gets punches to Test to start, at least 20 of them before Test goes down. Low dropkick to the head for 2. More punches and Test connects with a clothesline. Test drills Sabu with a double back breaker and then a side slam for two. Test whips Sabu into the corner and locks in the bearhug. Sabu calling for the fan support and he gets some weak shots to the shoulder. Knee to the gut by Test, but Sabu counters out of the corner. Sabu ducks under the clothesline and connects with a springboard elbow for 2. Test back in control now and he bodyslams Sabu. Test up top and he gets caught with the boots to the jaw. Sabu drills Test into the mat like a lawn dart, according to Joey Styles, for 2. Sabu with another springboard, but Sabu lands on his feet and gets drilled with a boot. Test lifts up Sabu and connects with his swinging neckbreaker for the pin at 3:18.

Winner: Test

Tazz keeps putting Test over as the impact player of the ECW as he did all match long and Styles says he had an impact win. Gees, can we get something original there.

Backstage, we see Rob Van Dam warming up for his title shot as we head to commercial.

Back from the break and we get the same Sandman video package from last week’s recap show. Again, it is 30 seconds of singapore cane shots and beer drinking.

Sylvester Turkay and Elijah Burke vs. The FBI (w/ Trinity)

Before The FBI comes out, Elijah Burke grabs the microphone and says the only question is not if they will win, but will they win by knock out or tap out? Burke and Little Guido start out and Burke quickly goes on the attack with club to the back. Guido slips out of a slam and punches away. Guido of the ropes and ducks under a clothesline for a crucifix, getting a quick two count. Burke catches Guido with a leg sweep. Turkay in now and he dominates Little Guido in the corner. Turkay no sells a boot to the face and hits one of his own to Guido’s face. Burke back in and he splashes Little Guido with a knee in the corner for two. Dang, that splash made Shelton Benjamin’s splash look tame. The replay even shows Burke’s knee hitting Little Guido in the head. Burke connects with a back suplex for two. Burke off the second rope, but Guido gets the boot up and it is caught by Burke. Burke misses an elbow drop and Guido tags out. Tony Mamaluke in and he is all over Burke. Tony slips out of a suplex, but gets drilled with a clothesline. Turkay back in and he drills Tony with a one handed face first slam. Turkay then gets the tap out with some unusual arm bar in around 4:00.

Winners: Burke and Turkay

Backstage, we see Bobby Lashley warming up before we go to the commercial break.

Back from the break and we learn that next week, we will have CM Punk vs. Hardcore Holly on the ECW on Sci-Fi! Backstage, Matt Striker is teaching us a math the CM Punk learned last week. Holly then shows up and states that Punk can not make Holly tap out.

We are joined by Tommy Dreamer via satellite. Before we speak with him, we get a full recap of every time Dreamer got dropped on his back by The Great Khali. Joey Styles questions if Dreamer has a death wish. Dreamer says it might be a death wish or that he is just crazy for coming back for more, even after being told that he might have broken his back again. Dreamer says it’s simple, this is what he is. He says he won’t stop coming after him until Khali falls down. He ends it by saying that it is not a death wish, it’s just who he is. Man, I could feel that emotion.

Backstage, Rebecca interviews Rob Van Dam. Rebecca has on much mic skills as Bobby Lashley, maybe worse. RVD thanks Bobby Lashley for putting the title on the line and for getting rid of Paul Heyman and The Big Show. He thanks the fans for voting him into the opportunity. He then says it’s a new year and he will take the title home with him. We go to another commercial.

We are back and once again, Brad Armstrong is one commentary.

Kevin Thorn (w/Ariel) vs. Balls Mahoney

Brad goes for some odd jokes, saying Kevin Thorn get sink his teeth into this match and that Ariel’s entrance used to be in his move set. Tazz notes that last time Balls was out here, it was during a Balls Mahoney match. Kevin Thorn starts the attack with shots to the back and he keeps hammering away in the corner. Balls eventually goes down and Thorn rips at Balls Mahoney’s “facial features” as Ariel screams on. Balls down on the bottom rope and Kevin Thorn chokes away. Thorn grabs Balls head from the outside and drops an elbow on his head. Another odd note: Brad Armstrong’s brother is the referee for this match. Balls driven into the corner, but Thorn misses a splash. Here comes the “Balls” punches and elbow to the head. Balls comes off the ropes and gets caught with an elbow to the face and the match is over abruptly at about 2:30. Ball is busted open and Armstrong thinks he busted his jaw.

Winner: Kevin Thorn

Backstage, Rebecca interviews Bobby Lashley, wondering how he will defend the title. Bobby Lashley says he has competed against the best in every style and he will enter the match and leave the match as the ECW World Champion. Yep, Rebecca definitely has worse mic skills when compared to Lashley. We head to another commercial break.

Back from the break and we get the highlight video from the WWE’s trip to Iraq. For those who haven’t seen t, the music used this year is “Better Days” by the Goo Goo Dolls. Honestly, I have loved this song since last Christmas and it works perfectly with the video.

Tazz goes to the crowd and we have another interview with Vladimir Kozlov. He says he likes ECW’s style very much and then goes on to say he could beat both Bobby Lashley and Rob Van Dam.

Here is the end of the interview.
Tazz: Anything else you want to say?
Vladimir: I love ‘Double Double E’. I love ‘Double Double E’.
Tazz: Okay…

Tazz seemed confused by Kozlov the whole time.

Styles reminds us that it was the fans that voted Rob Van Dam into this title shot. RVD comes out to the ring as we go to yet another commercial before the title match.

ECW World Title Match – Bobby Lashley vs. Rob Van Dam

We come back from the break and RVD is still in the ring waiting, but he doesn’t have to wait long for Bobby Lashley to come out. We get the ring announcer in the ring, introducing both men after the entrances are over with.

Both men get face to face before the bell and ref separates them. The bells rings and here we go. Lock up and Lashley shoves RVD away. Lockup again and RVD gets a headlock, until Lashley lifts him up and throws him away. Lashley knocks RVD into the corner and RVD punches Lashley with a not so clean break. Lashley reverses and irish whip, but gets nailed with boot to the face. RVD connects with a spin kick in the corner and then a sweep. RVD with arm twist, but Lashley works out of into a bodyslam for 2. Lashley locks on a bearhug, but RVD counters out with elbows. RVD off the ropes and Lashley drills him with spinebuster. Lashley with a gorilla press and he throws RVD over the top rope to the floor. He goes out and brings RVD back into the ring for two. Lashley goes back to the bearhug and RVD is fading fast. RVD chants start and gets out of it again with elbows to the head. RVD blocks a head shot with his boot and kicks Lashley into the head. Springboard kick gets only two. Split-legged moonsault only gets two. RVD goes for the monkey flip, but Lashley counters into a belly-to-belly suplex for two. RVD counters a suplex and goes for a kick. Lashley catches the foot, but RVD spins out of it. Lashley catches RVD again and lifts him into a torture rack. Lashley drops down with a nasty backbreaker for 2. Lashley goes for the delayed suplex and connects with another two count. Lashley goes for a spear, but RVD dropkicks the shin of Lashley to counter. RVD up to and he nails Lashley with his leaping side kick. Rolling Thunder and Lashley rolled to the outside. RVD follows, but he gets decapitated with a clothesline. Lashley sends RVD face first into the announcers table. Lashley goes for a suplex onto it, but RVD counters into a reverse suplex into it. Tazz and Styles are now off of commentary, as they bailed out. RVD beaks the count, but then goes for an Asai splash off the second rope onto Lashley, who is standing on the table! The ref then calls for the bell around 9:00 and some medical attention, as both men are out cold. The crowd goes with a “bullshit” chant. We see a replay and both men do indeed hit their heads on the top of the guardrail. Both men are in lala land as we are done.

Winner: No Contest