wrestling / Columns
The 8-Ball: The Top 8 Directions for Sheamus
Sheamus has had a spectacular 2014 in the ring with very little to show for it beyond a U.S. title run that suffered from a lack of creative attention. It was almost like they decided, “Hey, he’s got a character and a belt, our job is done here.” Why give him a storyline when all you want him to do is occupy a spot in the upper mid-card? Thing is, he did it brilliantly. He churned out hot matches every week, the kind that people would mark out over with a proper build and spotlight. It was a tragedy that he and Cesaro stole Night of Champions to minimal fanfare.
Sheamus’ situation needs and deserves some fixing, otherwise he’s going to join the ranks of woefully underutilized talents on the WWE roster. If you truly believe the line that wrestlers can work their way to the top of the card, then Sheamus has done everything necessary for a rocket launch. Quick note: I’m writing this prior to Survivor Series. So Sheamus either made a surprise return or mysteriously got dropped from the event a week before it ran (could be storyline, could be an actual injury). For his sake, let’s hope he made surprise return and everyone’s buzzing about him today. Yet, regardless of what happened last night, Sheamus needs a way forward, and the Magic 8-Ball is here to help.
I doubt this has been a conscious decision, but Sheamus has been booked like a battle royal specialist over the years. He won the Royal Rumble in 2012 and made the final three in 2013 and 2014. He’s always lasted 20+ minutes in the Rumble match. He also won his U.S. title in a battle royal. He made the final three in the IC title match at Battleground this year and in the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal at WrestleMania. Whenever a mass of bodies collide in the ring, Sheamus is a great bet to be around for the final selection. Well, here comes the Rumble again. If the goal is to kick Sheamus to the next level, put him in the match early, let him brogue kick everyone in sight for 45 minutes and have him win the match. We’re conditioned to believe he can do it. He’s beaten almost everyone on the roster (including Cena and Orton) at various points in the the past. Book him as the roughest customer in the WWE, a man with an unlimited amount of fight in him. That’s the most direct route to go with him, involving the minimal amount of creative input.
And don’t just have him win the Rumble. Have him put his title shot up for grabs every week between the Rumble and WrestleMania. Take on all customers. Sheamus in full destroyer mode would make a lot of sense if Daniel Bryan could make it back for Mania and get the belt hot-shotted back around his waist. Give us the ***** classic we didn’t get to see at WM28.
WWE announcers have taken on a decidedly ESPN feel in recent times. They seem purpose-built to introduce highlight clips rather than call wrestling matches. I’ve got nothing against Tom Phillips and Byron Saxton, but they’re not hype men. That doesn’t mean you can’t use their talents to throw hype onto a given wrestler. So if the problem with Sheamus is that the awesome stuff he does gets overlooked because Creative hasn’t built a storyline around it, then make the awesome stuff he does the storyline. Turn Sheamus’ exploits from last week into a weekly highlight reel segment. Treat it like it Sportscenter. Have the announcer talk through the highlight, punctuating the big moment. Maybe throw to a field reporter asking the opponent what it felt like when Sheamus kicked him in the face. They could have Jason Alberts get on a telestrator and break down how Sheamus executed a certain move. Alex Riley and Booker T could analyze Sheamus’ upcoming match throwing all kinds of statistics and reports from inside sources into the mix. Sheamus could even do some mock press conferences following his matches. It would reinforce that Sheamus is a star player and give his matches that big game feel.
So Sheamus has been storyline knocked out of the big Survivor Series match. You know who else suffered that fate? Jack Swagger. If the plan in the WWE is for a pile of other guys to be the feature players in the singles scene – John Cena, Brock Lesnar, Randy Orton, Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, Rusev, Ryback, Bray Wyatt, etc. – then Sheamus is way too good to waste as a gatekeeper. Swagger’s already a criminal waste of talent with his size and actual wrestling ability. Pair them up and suddenly you’ve got an A-list tag team. Both are former world champions. Both have size. Both are go-to guys in terms of working in those six-man matches the WWE is so fond of booking for Smackdown and Raw. Imagine them vs. the Dust Brothers or the Usos? Sheamus and Swagger vs. Wyatt and Harper? Sign me up for that. Sheamus could keep his bad ass credentials intact dominating in the tag division and Swagger could finally get some momentum back into his career.
Look no farther than the embarrassingly thin Survivor Series card for why the WWE needs a pack of capable tweeners to help flesh out the roster. Sometimes you don’t have an appropriate face or heel available. Sometimes you need to add shades of gray to a storyline or to insert an unpredictable element into a title scene. Randy Orton looks to be headed back to tweener territory and he works well there. Sheamus is another guy who could occupy that space. The key is that you want legit tweeners, who can beat anyone on any given day. They don’t play chickenshit heel and they don’t suck up to the fans. They’ve got their own agendas. They don’t care if you like them, but you sure as hell better respect them. Brock Lesnar essentially is a tweener. Cesaro would be a fantastic tweener too. In Sheamus’ case it would be a simple matter of taking a no-nonsense approach to the business. Wrestlers don’t have friends, just opponents. Doesn’t matter who you are, Sheamus has got a brogue for you.
One of the big problems with Bray Wyatt is he keeps trying to win over his opponents to no avail. They resist him. Then they beat him. Why on earth would anyone say yes to Bray’s advances? At some point a wrestler needs to give in to Bray’s bizarre recruitment strategy. On top of that, that wrestler is then needs to force his way into the main event picture. Sheamus would be an ideal candidate. He’s got the ring chops, the size and he’s worn the WWE and WHC belts. He legitimately could feel he’s being overlooked by the company brass and the fans. A dose of nihilism might do him good. Then he could annihilate the competition. He wouldn’t necessarily have to go full-on piker if he joins Bray, just embrace his role as a destructive force. Sheamus unleashed would be a ton of fun.
At some point in 2015, the NXT Five is going to get the call up to the bigs. It might happen piecemeal or they might get a Nexus-style group push (perhaps more accurately it would be a Radicalz-style group push for the NXT Five). However, an alternative might be to give the new guys a guiding hand, someone to shepherd them into the WWE. Treat them more like a brotherhood than an organized faction and let an established talent play big brother. If Sheamus isn’t busy chasing after the WWE, IC or U.S. titles then he’d be superb in this role. Sheamus loves to fight and these NXT guys know how to bring it in the ring. Get him involved with group and then start mixing and matching as they face meaningful talents inside the WWE.
Finn Balor is the most obvious pairing for Sheamus, but he could work with all five guys in different situations, giving each one its own unique stamp. Sheamus and Hideo Itami could call themselves Ginger Ninja (side thought: Sami Zayn and Itami could do that too). Sheamus and Zayn could wear masks and call themselves Los Fantasmas. When Sheamus and Kevin Steen/Owens partner up, they could do match prep in a nearby pub (and obviously they’d be wearing track suits) and then the camera would follow their haphazard approach to the arena. They could name themselves Last Call or Happy Hour. I’m not 100% positive what Sheamus could do with Adrian Neville, but for sure he’d have to call him Flippy McGee. Sheamus is a substantial guy who can help get the NXT Five over with the WWE audience. He’s something that group doesn’t have in terms of size and main event style. And the different combinations and angles they could work would keep Raw and Smackdown fresh. Best of all, it would be an entertaining way to put some hellaciously good wrestling in the ring.
If a tag team with Swagger is a good idea, then Sheamus pairing with Bad News Barrett would be solid gold. Both have a smashmouth style and they come from the same set of islands on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. Unlike a team with Swagger – which could work face, heel or in between – you’d want Sheamus and Barrett to go full heel so they can obliterate everything in their path. Maybe even thrown in Paige with them as an element of chaos who kicks ass in the divas division. Stud teams might have to form just to compete with Sheamus-Barrett: for instance Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose once again joining forces or Randy Orton teaming with Dolph Ziggler. Mind you, Sheamus and Barrett might be so good as a remorseless smashmouth tag team that fans fall in love with them, call it the Road Warriors effect. Yet fans thinking they’re too awesome to hate would be a good problem to have.
I’m writing this prior to Survivor Series, so I don’t know whether Sheamus got involved there. Yet I’m wholeheartedly in favor of him taking a heel turn there. Think about what just happened to the big Irishman. He got sent to the hospital by Mark Henry without getting an ounce of help from his supposed friend John Cena. Then he got unceremoniously dropped from Cena’s team without anyone seemingly checking to see if he could recover in six days. That’s shabby treatment of a guy who supposedly was putting everything on the line to help your cause. Meanwhile, hasn’t the Authority been good to Sheamus? It showed loyalty to him when he was out with an injury last year and respect by giving him opportunities to chase major belts upon his return. He won the U.S. title and they let him be a fighting champ. What if the only person who called him when he was in the hospital was HHH? That might change a fella’s perspective. Regardless of whether the WWE just played that card, Sheamus would be ideal for an Authority reformation. He’s real-life buddies with HHH, so if the Trips and Steph need to find a way back into the fray after Survivor Series, a big, angry Sheamus would be a stellar choice in helping them achieve it. Standing in line behind Cena, Roman Reigns, Daniel Bryan and possibly Ryback isn’t going to get him anywhere. He’s the kind of bruiser any heel stable could use. Sheamus could be a main event level Arn Anderson.
I take requests.. The purpose of this column is to look forward. What could be? What should be? What is and what should never be? What would make more sense? 411 has plenty of columns that count down and rank things that happened in the past. This is not one of those columns. The Magic 8-Ball is here to gaze into the future. If there’s someone or something you think should be given the 8-Ball treatment, mention it in the comments section. I might pick it up for future weeks.
