wrestling / Video Reviews

The Name on the Marquee: NWA World Championship Wrestling (3.1.1986)

May 26, 2016 | Posted by Adam Nedeff
NWA World Championship Wrestling
5.1
The 411 Rating
Community Grade
12345678910
Your Grade
Loading...
The Name on the Marquee: NWA World Championship Wrestling (3.1.1986)  

-Cold open: Ron Garvin knocking out Ric Flair and getting a clean pin after the sixty-minute time limit expired.

-Originally aired March 1, 1986.

-Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & David Crockett. Ron Garvin struts in and says that Arn Anderson has an open contrack for the TV Title, so Garvin has signed that contrack so Anderson can prove he’s worthy of holding that belt. He mentions that he’s doing freelance carpentry work on his off-days. Just so Ric Flair can feel like an idiot when he tells people he lost his belt to a freelance carpenter.

“The Boogie Woogie Man” JIMMY VALIANT vs BOB OWENS
-Valiant dances his way into the ring and gives Owens a thumb to the throat and works the neck over. Arm wringer by Valiant, and he bites Owens’ fingers while a “Break it!” chant goes up among the fans. Big elbow finishes.

-Jimmy says after the match that he hears Paul Jones is importing all these foreigners so he can get rid of Jimmy Valiant. Well Baron Von Raschke and “Geecho Khan” aren’t getting’ rid of him ‘cause they’re just a couple of bald-headed geeks.

-The Rock & Roll Express walks in with tennis racquets and call out the Midnight Express AND Ric Flair while they’re at it. Robert is wearing a Rock & Roll Express t-shirt, and I guess it’s supposed to look like they’re wearing headbands in the picture, but they’re white headbands, so it looks like they’re wearing enormous bandages, which is so fitting for this company.

BARON VON RASCHKE (with Paul Jones) vs GEORGE SOUTH
-Elbow by the Baron misses, so South capitalizes with an arm wringer. Baron counters with a slam and an armbar. South tries a flying headscissor, but Raschke just drops him and follows with a backbeaker. South fights back with rapid rights, but Baron gets control right back with a kneelift.

-South gets a third wind with a dropkick and an armdrag. Baron pulls the hair to take him back down and clamps on a rear chinlock. He switches to a choke to soften up the throat, and Paul Jones sneaks over and connects with a cane shot to the neck. Clawhold gets the submission.

-Tony Schiavone talks to Arn Anderson, who calls Ron Garvin “the Charles Manson of wrestling” and says he doesn’t want to wrestle the man because you can tell from looking into his eyes that he’s a top contender for being a pervert or a prisoner.

IVAN KOLOFF (with Nikita Koloff) vs ROCKY KING
-Ivan goes right to work with knees and a legdrop on King. King tries a corner charge, but Ivan sees him coming and sends him crashing right back down. King gets knocked out of the ring, but Nikita refuses to interfere because he’s keeping his word about not doing anything on TV until he has a match with Magnum. Ivan hurts himself with an attempted headbutt on King, which surprises me because I somehow thought that was exclusively a WWF thing.

-King tries to comeback with a backdrop, but Ivan holds on and makes it a sunset flip for two. Ivan chokes out Rocky and pounds away at him, while a black fan at ringside begs him “Can ya just let Rocky win?”

-Match is STILL going, and actually it seems like all of the squashes are going extra-long this week for some reason. King makes a comeback with a biel throw, but gets booted right back down. Ivan follows with a Bossman legdrop. King makes it back to his feet and Ivan wipes him out with a sickle from the second rope to win. Nikita helps King back to his feet and then follows with another sickle.

-Tully Blanchard Enterprises warns Dusty Rhodes that he is ON NOTICE, and there’s no ladder high enough to get him out of the towering inferno that he’s trapped in. He accuses Dusty of ducking him. Tully vowed that he would win the National Title within six weeks, and in the past five weeks, Dusty hasn’t signed one title match contract with Tully…That all changes right now, because NWA promoters have signed two Dusty/Tully title matches for the upcoming week, and Tully WILL be a jet-ridin’ limo-ridin’ champion when it’s all said and done.

BARBARIAN (with Paul Jones) vs TONY ZANE
-Crowd is chanting “Let’s go Barbie!” First time in a while that we’ve seen Tony Zane, so all but two of his bruises have totally healed up.

-Zane throws forearms with no effect and then hurts himself with a shoulderblock. He tries a sunset flip and Barbarian just drives boots and knees into him. Corner charge misses and that appears to actually hurt Barbarian. Zane tries to capitalize with an arm wringer, but Barbarian headbutts out and press slams Zane. Rolling headbutts send Zane into Paul Jones’ direction, and Jones goes NUTS on him with the cane.

-More headbutts by Barbarian and he sends Zane out to the floor. Jones goes to work on him with the cane again, in plain sight of the referee. Referee just gives him a good frowning as Barbarian drags Zane back into the ring, and the diving headbutt finishes. Crowd is super into Barbarian.

-The Koloffs are out here along with their six-man tag team title trophy, and Tony reminds us that they haven’t defended it in over two months because their partner Khrusher is still injured, so clearly this title is worth hanging onto. He also says that the Road Warriors were heard issuing a challenge to the Midnight Express for the tag team titles, so that’s everything you need to know about what the Koloffs did to those two. We look back at last week’s show-closing brawl, and Nikita promises to become the new champion.

MAGNUM T.A. (United States Champion) vs RANDY MULKEY
-Bell, belly-to-belly, bell.

-Ric Flair struts out and opens his robe just to give the girls a look at his pretty new title belt. He tells David Crockett not to call Magnum “The Boss” anymore when there’s a guy standing in front of him who makes a million bucks a year, rides a limo, has his own private airspace for his jet, and stays in five-star hotels. Woo.

TULLY BLANCHARD (with JJ Dillon) vs BILL TABB
-Tully takes Tabb down and clamps on the chinlock. Tabb gets out with a slam and drives shoulders into him. Tully comes back with a series of boots and elbows.

-Back from commercial, Tully has apparently already done the slingshot suplex, but then found out they were in a commercial break, so he waited for the show to come back on the air and does the slingshot suplex again so he can have the satisfaction of getting the pin on camera.

-Dusty Rhodes and Baby Doll are here. Heel fan is heckling Dusty and Dusty whips his head around and says “If you don’t wanna hear it, take your fat ass outta here!” The anti-Dusty chant actually grows louder, and Dusty just does a half-assed calling out of Flair and cuts it short this week.

-Jim Cornette is upset because the Rock & Roll Express’ racquets are obviously loaded with something. Tony reaches over to feel Corny’s tennis racquet and Corny hastily pulls it away from him. And daggum it, he is NOT getting into a shark cage for those upcoming title matches and his mama will see to that.

MIDNIGHT EXPRESS (World Tag Team Champions, with Jim Cornette) vs PAUL GARNER & ALAN MARTIN
-Eaton hammers Garner down and drops a knee on him. Top rope elbow by Eaton. Partners tag in and Condrey backdrops Martin. He throws Martin out to the floor and Eaton does a neckbreaker on him before throwing him back in. Cornette says that his good friend Richard Simmons has been encouraging him to do more athletic stuff, and Cornette says he’s ready to step in the ring for some six-man matches in the near future.

-Martin gets slammed and goes limp when Eaton tries to pick him up (Cornette: “We need a heartier breed of opponent”) so Eaton leaves him laying and does an Alabama Jam. Garner tags back in and the Express switches off to work him over. Martin tags back in and gets murdered again. Kneedrop off the top by Eaton, and Condrey finally ends it with a facefirst Russian legsweep to win.

-The Crockett Cup is coming to the Superdome in New Orleans, narrowly defeating Sydney and Tokyo in the bidding, according to Davocchio Crockett.

ROCK & ROLL EXPRESS vs BILL MULKEY & MIKE SIMANI
-Gibson starts with Mulkey, slamming him and dropping a knee. He holds Mulkey in place for a double-team move and Mulkey has a hilarious look on his face, just waiting for them to make contact because he’s too pitiful to actually fight it off.

-Morton tags in and works Mulkey’s leg over the bottom rope. Tony mentions that tag teams from all over the world are “bidding” to enter the Crockett Cup tournament. Okay, guys, the implication that you make tag teams pay to wrestle for you kinda makes you sound like a fly-by-night operation. Just saying.

-Gibson stretches Mike Simani and Morton suplexes him. Double dropkick finishes.

-Magnum is as proud of America as Nikita is of the USSR. Nikita has brought out the fight in Magnum and last week, Magnum called him out. Nikita didn’t fight, Magnum had to attack him. Magnum’s tired of the talking, he just wants to wrestle the man already.

TV TITLE: ARN ANDERSON (Champion) vs RON GARVIN
-So again, Arn doesn’t want to be here because he considers Garvin a psychopath. And immediately, Arn is warning the referee to keep one eye on Garvin’s balled-up fist. Arn, classic heel, is the first one to throw a punch. Garvin rears back to throw a punch of his own and Arn goes right the hell out to the floor until Garvin has opened his hand.

-Arn tentatively goes back in and wrings the arm, but Garvin headbutts out and does his own arm wringer. Arn reverses it back his way, and Garvin breaks it with chops. And since Arn’s a badass, Garvin does not hold back a bit with it. Garvin gets him down to the mat with an armbar, then switches to a sweet-looking but hard to describe move…It’s the first part of a surfboard, but Garvin is doing it with his legs, which leaves his arms totally free to twist Arn’s neck and chop him. Arn gets out but gets chopped all to hell again.

-Back from commercial with Garvin rowing a boat with Arn’s arm. Ric Flair shows up to provide guest commentary and assure everyone that the smart money is on Arn. Arn finally shows some signs of life with a backdrop and Flair pretty much declares the match to be over right there.

-Bearhug by Arn and David Crockett points out that his arm’s hurt so it’s not going to put Garvin away. And indeed Garvin is able to back him into the ropes and sunset flips him for two. Arn hastily goes back to the bearhug. Right hands by Garvin to break it. He chops away at Arn and Arn begs somebody to tell him how much time is left in the match. Garvin clamps on the abdominal stretch and that looks like it could finish, but the bell rings for the time limit draw and Garvin won’t break the hold.

-Flair walks over and taunts Garvin until he breaks the hold. Flair teases going into the ring and he jaws with Garvin until Arn sneaks up and knocks out Garvin with the Gourdbuster. Flair rolls into the ring and gets some poetic justice by counting Garvin’s shoulders to the mat for three.

-Paul Jones applauds Flair & Anderson for not taking any bullshit. He turns his focus to Jimmy Valiant and shows off a huge scar on his arm, blaming the injury on Jimmy Valiant in 1985. He officially christens his three foreign guys “Paul Jones’ Army” and promises to annihilate Jimmy Valiant in 1986.

-Tony Schiavone talks to the Rock & Roll Express. Again. They deny the accusations of loading their tennis racquets. Ric Flair strolls past them and talks a little shit on his way into the ring.

RIC FLAIR (World Champion) vs BRODIE CHASE
-Flair has a purple throbber for his belt, doing some extra poses before the match and demanding a ring attendant who’s old enough to be held responsible for a $40,000 title belt.

-Chops and a kneedrop by Flair. He snapmares Chase and works his arm, then takes him out to the floor and chops him some more. Brodie is on the floor hurt, so Flair enjoys a few moments of having the ring all to himself for strutting. David Crockett says that Flair seems to think he’s an even bigger star than the title belt he holds.

-“Now we go to school!” gets a HUGE round of applause, so Flair does some bonus strutting to indulge them, then clamps on the figure four to finish it.

-Cornette returns with under a minute left in the show, which seems like a mistake. He promises that nobody is locking him in a cage!

5.1
The final score: review Not So Good
The 411
Maybe it's my own mood, but outside of the feature match, this felt like a really flat week. Not much to the storylines aside from the feature match--which was a GOOD match and is probably worth watching just by itself using the search function--and a couple of the squashes just went on forever. This is the first time I've watched this show and felt like I needed a break in the middle of watching.
legend

article topics :

NWA, Adam Nedeff