wrestling / Video Reviews
The Name on the Marquee: Smoky Mountain Wrestling (2.22.1992)
-Originally aired February 22, 1992.
-We’re in Morristown, TN.
-Your hosts are Bob Caudle & Dutch Mantell.
HECTOR GUERRERO vs. TOMMY ANGEL
-Angel has a glorious buzzcut/mullet combo that screams “1992!” louder than Dick Clark in 1991. Hector snapmares Angel all over the place while the commentators brief us on Hector’s background. Mantell is rooting for Angel because he got into the business without having a daddy or brothers to lean on to become a star.
-Angel wins a test of strength until Hector backs into the ropes and springboards off, which causes Angel to flip across the ring. Angel gets some offense and charges, but Hector is waiting for him and catches him in a flying headscissors. Angel fights back with press slams and then does a pretty ridiculous spot where he shoulderblocks Hector, but hits him with such hard impact that he slumps backward, leans into the ropes, falls through, and lands on the floor.
-Hector meets him out there with a splash and then brings him outside, and a pinning combo that Dutch calls the jalapeno pepper roll gives Hector the big win.
-Bob Caudle talks to Ivan Koloff and Jimmy Golden. He warns that his nephew Vladimir is coming back soon, and Jimmy Golden warns that there’s nothing fantastic about the Fantastics.
-Raise money with Smoky Mountain Wrestling today! Well…not today. At a date that you and Smoky Mountain Wrestling agree on.
-Dutch gives his side of the feud with Brian Lee. Brian says he’s going to put Mantell in a wheelchair just like his buddy Ron Wright. Mantell introduces a strongman from North Carolina named Carl Stiles, who asked Dutch for help breaking into the wrestling business. So, Mantell pretty much hires him to be a stooge.
-Bob Caudle talks to Tim Horner, Robert Gibson, and Brian Lee about Smoky Mountain Wrestling, coming to YOUR area.
-We go to Mr. Ron Wright, who is heartbroken when he sees wrestlers like Brian Lee cheating and breaking rules, because that’s the kind of thing that put him in a wheelchair. He’s still looking for the right wrestler to help him make enough money to pay for his badly needed hip operation. He’s also worried because flu season isn’t over yet, and he’s so frail and weak that it might take him down.
KILLER KYLE vs. RIKKI NELSON
-Both men are pretty evenly matched in the early minutes of the bout as Mr. Ron Wright wheels his way to ringside. Kyle misses a charge and Nelson crashes and burns on a move from the top rope, which kills the crowd. Kyle executes a back suplex for two while Caudle emphasizes that nobody should pity Ron Wright for all of the cheating and the disdain he’s shown for the fans over the years.
-Nelson mounts a comeback, but Ron Wright distracts the referee while Kyle KOs Nelson with his violin case. Kyle gets the three-count while Wright wheels away like nothing happened.
-Bob Caudle is in the ring with Morristown’s own Tim Horner, and Don Cunningham, vice president of HAWK, which is…something. Cunningham is there to present Horner with a special award for the work he does with juvenile delinquents. Horner accepts the award, but suddenly…the segment ends. Oh.
-Bob Holly loves coming to small hillbilly towns to give stupid hick fans a chance to see a real movie star up close. He namedrops his good friend Jack Nicholson and says he got into professional wrestling because he can, dammit.
“Prime Time” BRIAN LEE vs. BRAD ANDERSON
-Mantell begs us to watch “America’s Most Wanted” as often as possible to see if Brian Lee is on. He orders Carl Stiles to go to ringside just to memorize Lee’s face, because they’ll probably have to identify him in a police line-up at some point.
-Lee gets distracted and Anderson attacks from behind, while Mantell predicts at least two murders for Brian Lee. Anderson clamps on a chinlock while Dutch Mantell leaves the broadcast booth. Lee makes a comeback and finishes off Son Of Gene with the Cancellation.
-Stiles heads into the ring and we have a fistfight. WEIRD moment with Caudle obviously rerecording his commentary, but apparently rerecording it without a monitor, because his description of the action is ridiculously vague and strained. Lee gets the better of both men, who run for the hills, which seems like the wrong way to book this.
THE FANTASTICS vs. IVAN KOLOFF & JIMMY GOLDEN
-Bobby Fulton starts with Koloff; they trade holds until the Fantastics double-team the arm, and Jackie tags in. Bodypress off the second rope gets two. Golden tags in and takes control of Jackie, the little brother and “weak link” of the team. Golden pulls the hair for control, and Mantell points out that if you grow your hair that long, you’re asking for it, so if you’re gonna wrestle, cut your hair. Remember to picture Dutch Mantell making that argument; it’s such a perfectly hypocritical heel statement.
-Action spills to the floor and Jackie manages to whip Ivan hard into the post. Ivan is bleeding, but if you’ve seen Ivan Koloff’s foreheard, you know there’s every possibility that it was simply caused by a sneeze. Jackie fires punches into the wound until Ivan is able to get out of there. Golden boots Bobby out to the floor and Ivan retaliates with a ram into the post.
-Bobby is in peril until he manages to whip Koloff into the corner, and Koloff sells it like he’s been shot. Hot tag to Jackie, and he cleans house with dropkicks. Bodypress almost finishes Golden, but Koloff breaks the pin and we have a brawl. Referee tries to break everything up while the missing-in-action Vladimir Koloff sprints to ringside and KOs Jackie, and Ivan gets the win out of nowhere. That finish genuinely 100% surprised me. Nice job!
-Post-match, it’s an all-out brouhaha, with brawling spreading to every corner of the gym. Total chaos! That’s my favorite kind of chaos!